raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095 
|
Post by raindancer on Oct 4, 2014 0:49:23 GMT
My mom's family has a history of stroke and heart attacks, and she is in her mid-60s and has been having a lot of health problems this year. She worries, she stresses, she is anxious about things way beyond her control. I have my dad's genes. Cool as a cucumber. I just don't react to stress and would almost never rate myself as feeling stressed out about anything. I'm a roll with the punches kind of girl.
It's not as simple as "don't' worry". Today she went to the doctor for a headache she had most of the week and he said it's stress again. (She is also VERY worried about money even though she and my dad are perfectly well off. They have money for retirement, own their home and their vehicles, etc.) She worries about work, (her job is stable, her boss is great), she worries about her boss. She worries what I feel is beyond a normal amount.
She is very spiritual and religious and spends a lot of time serving others, volunteering, and attending meetings and services and praying, etc. but even that doesn't seem to help. (I have my own opinion on that but she believes it helps her and that's fine). She also walks daily 3-5 miles and has been losing weight and managing her pain very well.
So how can I help her? What advice might I offer? She asked my advice today and I have thought about it but I can't think of much.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 20:29:20 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2014 0:59:38 GMT
would she let her doctor put her on an anti anxiety med? She isn't "Stressed" as much as she is suffering from anxiety... which leads to stress.
|
|
back to *pea*ality
Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys ~refugee pea #59
Posts: 3,149
Jun 25, 2014 19:51:11 GMT
|
Post by back to *pea*ality on Oct 4, 2014 1:01:58 GMT
I am not far from your mom's age. I started yoga this year, a friend suggested it and I thought this is not for me but I will give it a try. I love it! My yoga teacher says, if you can breathe, you can do yoga- savasana is so relaxing. The breathing in yoga is a great stress reliever.
If she had never tried massage - also a great way to manage pain and relax.
A news fast is a good thing. I am going away next week and look forward to unplugging from tv, newspapers and social media.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 20:29:20 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2014 1:09:35 GMT
I take meds, but in addition, I exercise and meditate. I think it's important to learn to tell your body to power down. So I suggest exercise, meditation and yoga.
|
|
|
|
Post by Lexica on Oct 4, 2014 1:28:12 GMT
Since she is a spiritual person, maybe suggest to her to pray about this, and develop some sort of ritual that she can do every day to place her worries into something to let them go up to heaven to be dealt with. I have heard of people visually imagining blowing all their problems into a balloon, tieing it off, and letting it float up to heaven. This can be done at night so she can sleep peacefully, knowing all her worries are being handled as she sleeps. Whatever form of imagining and releasing that you think will work for her is good.
You might want to remind her that she needs to let go of the string to the balloon instead of hanging on and pulling it back to keep checking on it. She needs to fully accept that, as a human being, she needs restorative sleep and a peaceful day following that to live up to her full potential. But the angels, or whatever she believes in, can take on her worries for her. She is free to let them go and focus on the here and now of her life.
I used a form of this visualization during my divorce, and it can be a pretty powerful process to let your mind relax since all the problems and pains are in the hands of others who are better prepared to deal with them than I was.
You might also talk to her about an anti anxiety medication if you think she needs that.
|
|
raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
|
Post by raindancer on Oct 4, 2014 3:34:08 GMT
Thank you all. I will talk with her about yoga, and meditation and I love the balloon visualization Lexica. I will share that with her as well. She takes other meds and so I know the idea of taking more meds makes her feel more anxious and upset. But I will see if either my sister or my dad might bring that up for her because they have a different more gentle way than I do and I don't want her to feel I'm pushing her into medication.
I told her we could go to lunch next week and so we can talk and I can give her some ideas. I really appreciate the help.
|
|
|
|
Post by hennybutton on Oct 4, 2014 4:01:41 GMT
Thank you all. I will talk with her about yoga, and meditation and I love the balloon visualization Lexica. I will share that with her as well. She takes other meds and so I know the idea of taking more meds makes her feel more anxious and upset. But I will see if either my sister or my dad might bring that up for her because they have a different more gentle way than I do and I don't want her to feel I'm pushing her into medication. I told her we could go to lunch next week and so we can talk and I can give her some ideas. I really appreciate the help. You might want to check the side effects of the medications she's currently taking. Some meds can cause anxiety. |
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 20:29:20 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2014 4:09:33 GMT
Thank you all. I will talk with her about yoga, and meditation and I love the balloon visualization Lexica. I will share that with her as well. She takes other meds and so I know the idea of taking more meds makes her feel more anxious and upset. But I will see if either my sister or my dad might bring that up for her because they have a different more gentle way than I do and I don't want her to feel I'm pushing her into medication. I told her we could go to lunch next week and so we can talk and I can give her some ideas. I really appreciate the help. I don't find yoga relaxing until I am done. My bestie says she is relaxed the whole class. After the class I feel fabulous and nothing in the world bothers me. Sometimes just getting there is the hard part. I would suggest she try something like that. She sounds (according to your words anyway) that she has a great life, few worries and things are going well. Is there a seniors' centre she can go hang out with people her age and do fun stuff together? That might be fun for her as well? Good luck! |
|
raindancer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,095
|
Post by raindancer on Oct 4, 2014 4:22:25 GMT
Thank you all. I will talk with her about yoga, and meditation and I love the balloon visualization Lexica. I will share that with her as well. She takes other meds and so I know the idea of taking more meds makes her feel more anxious and upset. But I will see if either my sister or my dad might bring that up for her because they have a different more gentle way than I do and I don't want her to feel I'm pushing her into medication. I told her we could go to lunch next week and so we can talk and I can give her some ideas. I really appreciate the help. You might want to check the side effects of the medications she's currently taking. Some meds can cause anxiety. That's a really great suggestion and good point. I will talk to her about that as well. I do.feel like in the past year or so it has gotten harder for her and that may be a part of the problem. (She has always been a worrier) |
|
|
|
Post by anniefb on Oct 4, 2014 4:25:19 GMT
I agree about the prayer/meditation suggestions and maybe encourage her to spend time doing something she enjoys a few times a week - catching up with friends, crafts, some sort of exercise? I'm a bit of a 'worrier' too and I find if I'm doing something like scrapbooking, knitting, quilting etc it helps me to slow down mentally and just be in the present, focused on what I'm doing, not reliving the past or worrying about the future.
|
|
