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Post by kandie on Jul 1, 2014 0:28:13 GMT
My 13 yr old dd is entering 8th grade.
she has a friend who she really likes, but hates going to her house. This girls mom is very much a helicopter parent.
To give examples :
if a friend sleeps over, she will sleep in livingroom with them.
this girl has never walked or rode her bike alone on her own quiet residential street.
she can't sleep over at others houses
if they go to the lake they can only go to their knees in the water
if the girls go outside in the yard, the mom has to be right there.
it is very over the top.
my daughter hates going over ther but really likes the girl. She wont end up seeing her all summer due to the mom.
the mom always invites my dd over( mom calls to arrange a play date!)
i just don't know what to tell her!!
it is funny, I ask my daughter what she thinks of her friends helicopter mom, she says and I quote " helicopter moms breed sneaky kids"!
any advice on how to handle this?
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scrappinghappy
Pearl Clutcher
“I’m late, I’m late for a very important date. No time to say “Hello.” Goodbye. I’m late...."
Posts: 4,307 
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Post by scrappinghappy on Jul 1, 2014 0:32:33 GMT
Is she an only child? Did they have a child die?
I'd try and talk to her. The worst that could happen I'd she doesn't let her dd play with yours but maybe she just needs her eyes opened.
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Post by rumplesnat on Jul 1, 2014 0:34:10 GMT
I think it's a good opportunity to teach her respect for the way others parent their children & rules for other households and to go along with the rules, no matter how "helicopter" they seem to the rest of us.
While the example you gave certainly raise my eyebrows, they aren't harmful and I would much prefer these rules vs. the polar opposite.
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Post by vronn on Jul 1, 2014 0:36:50 GMT
I wonder too, if they lost a child. She really is doing her dd no favours. Perhaps she can be invited to your house more often, once helicopter mom has had a chance to meet you and realize you're not Charles Manson.
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Post by kandie on Jul 1, 2014 0:54:52 GMT
No they have not lost a child. Mom is an older mom, prob early 50s. Child is an only child
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Post by shescrafty on Jul 1, 2014 1:20:05 GMT
I think I might let the mom know that sometimes she makes your daughter uncomfortable when she sleeps in the same room as they do. To me that one is the creepiest, lol.
does she let them play by themselves in a family room? Maybe think of times that they can be alone and suggest those activities to your child if she wants to go over there.
Poor kid 
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Post by lesleyanne on Jul 1, 2014 1:25:51 GMT
Are you friends with helicopter mom? Could you try hanging out sometime at their house and talking with her?
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Post by betsy on Jul 1, 2014 1:27:33 GMT
I'd suggest the girls play at your house as much as possible. "You've hosted so many times, let me take the girls this time."
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Post by my2apps2 on Jul 1, 2014 1:32:51 GMT
I agree with the others who said to try to facilitate them spending time at your home. I understand that the mom means well, but your kiddo is right. She is only setting her child up to be dishonest and sneaky. I would, however, make sure that your daughter is respectful of her rules and boundaries when she is at their house. And it sounds like you have that covered!  |
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scrappinmama
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,019
Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Jul 1, 2014 1:47:37 GMT
I definitely think it's a lesson for your dd that we need to respect other people's parenting choices. It's a shame the mom won't let her daughter grow. I do agree that you should see if the girl can come to your home instead.
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Post by mamanay on Jul 1, 2014 1:52:58 GMT
I'd just invite the girl over more often. My dd's bff has a mom sort of like that, but not quite as extreme. We (the other parents) just take turns inviting her over. The bff's mom is a little over the top on everything, including healthy food. And the bff is stick thin, so it's not like she needs to watch her weight. It's crazy. Example: Raw bagged pre-cut baby cut carrots from the produce section are unhealthy because they are washed/processed in some way. Maybe there are, I don't know?
Her mom would die if she ever saw, what I let them eat for lunch sometimes. Aka pb on white bread w/marshmellow fluff and a banana. In fact, her bff never had Publix fried chicken, until I contaminated her and I wasn't even trying to. I was just going fot a quick easy lunch of chicken and watermelon. LOL!
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Post by bothmykidsrbrats on Jul 1, 2014 2:18:14 GMT
This girl sounds a lot like a friend of my DD, both girls are 12. Friend never talked about why her mom was always around, and there were so many "odd" rules. Even when the kids asked her, she just shrugged it off, and said things like that's just my mom. Nobody could figure out why this mom would be so over the top protective, until 2 weeks before the end of the school year, when the friend had a seizure at lunch. Turns out the friend didn't want anyone to know about her seizures, and the mom never wanted her friends or their parents to feel responsible to handle one, in their company or care. It's probably a long shot your DDs friend is in a similar situation, but I thought I would mention it.
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