schizo319
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by schizo319 on May 15, 2019 20:14:22 GMT
To our oldest dog? We have an 18yo dachshund - some of you might remember a few months ago when I asked about giving subcutaneous fluids for her kidney failure. Well, she "tore a ligament" in her leg a couple months ago, she's barely able to hop along on 3 legs to go to the bathroom. She does still eat, but stopped drinking when we started with the fluids (vet was unconcerned about the lack of drinking because I cook for her and we heavily water down her chicken & rice 2x a day and she's still peeing regularly).
Today, she went back to the vet for a levels check and while she was there, the vet X-rayed because the torn ligament hasn't been healing. Turns out she has bone cancer. It is not going to get better, she already barely moves and sleeps most of the time. Though she isn't actively whining, I know she's in pain and she has essentially zero quality of life left. DH seems to think that as long as she's eating and still giving "nose smooches" she's fine. He doesn't seem to realize that because we see her all day every day, we don't realize how far down hill she's actually gone - this has become a new normal for us.
I don't WANT to lose my sweet girl, but I know that it's time... I just don't know how to convince HIM that it's time...
Any words of advice?
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Post by dewryce on May 15, 2019 20:15:53 GMT
I’m so very sorry. Perhaps he can talk to the vet himself?
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kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,563
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on May 15, 2019 20:16:44 GMT
No advice, just sympathy to you and your family.
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used2scrap
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,039
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Post by used2scrap on May 15, 2019 20:17:27 GMT
I don’t have any advice, I just want to say how sorry I am. Making that decision (twice) was so very hard. And both times after the initial pain wore off, I very much regretted we had let them linger so long as their quality of life deteriorated.
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,775
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Post by scrapngranny on May 15, 2019 20:25:43 GMT
I don’t have advice except to point out to him about the quality of her life. Yes, she can stil do the basics, but is she enjoying any part of her day? That has been the deciding factor for our pets. It doesn’t have to get to the point they are miserable before you let them sleep. You know your girl better than any one else. You will know when she is ready.
I’m so sorry you are facing this. It is one of the hardest decisions we have to make. Hugs.
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Post by brenda89 on May 15, 2019 20:26:23 GMT
So sorry!! I think the dog would be better off if you let her go. It sucks a lot. But when it's done you'll know that she is no longer in pain. Not sure how to convince your husband, sorry.  |
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Post by blueeyedpups on May 15, 2019 20:32:25 GMT
I don't have any advice, but I am very sorry you're having to make this decision. My DH and I went thru this twice in the last 2 years. With our first one, my DH was ready months before I was. Nothing he said could convince me it was time. My sweet dog was the one that convinced me in the end.
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Post by mellowyellow on May 15, 2019 20:34:51 GMT
Ugh....I don't have any advice but I am so very sorry!
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Post by papersilly on May 15, 2019 21:43:54 GMT
we've only put one dog down. i kept telling DH it was time but he kept putting it off. i finally said enough. time to put our dog's needs over his inability to let his dog go. to this day, i regret waiting for him to come around. i apologize to my dog a million times over in my head. next time, i won't wait for him to be ok with it because he will never be. dog first. husband second.
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Post by lucyg on May 15, 2019 22:55:31 GMT
I’m so sorry. It sounds like it’s her time.  |
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Post by librarylady on May 15, 2019 22:57:48 GMT
Enlist the help from your vet.
DH was reluctant and fighting the obvious until our vet told him "You are not doing her any favor by extending her life."
We were all still sad and distraught, but that gave us the courage to say, "We have to do it."
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Post by quinlove on May 15, 2019 23:03:06 GMT
I don't have any advice, but I am very sorry you're having to make this decision. My DH and I went thru this twice in the last 2 years. With our first one, my DH was ready months before I was. Nothing he said could convince me it was time. My sweet dog was the one that convinced me in the end. Oh dear. This breaks my heart. Hugs and love to schizo319. I know it’s hard. ❤️ |
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on May 16, 2019 5:39:03 GMT
I'm so sorry I have no advice we went thru this last fall with our chocolate lab. We stalled for about a week to do anything but finally he took her to the vet and made the decision. I really had hoped she'd be able to help her but as hard as the decision was I know it was the right one! Our dog seemed relieved and was definitely at peace when it happened which made the decision much easier to live with.
Be gentle with yourselves I hope you can come to a mutual decision.
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lurkyloo
Full Member
Posts: 284
Dec 5, 2018 6:53:08 GMT
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Post by lurkyloo on May 16, 2019 6:10:27 GMT
Oh, how sad. Sweet doggie. Do you have videos on your phone or somewhere of when she was young and healthy? I have seen four kitties into very old age and those were always helpful to me when deciding when to let them go. We could see the pain separately from old age.
I’m sorry.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jul 8, 2024 2:14:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2019 7:31:30 GMT
I'm so sorry you are going through this. It is so hard to lose a fuzzy friend and family member. Animals sleep a lot when they are in pain. It is how they try to cope. Maybe pointing that out will help. I'm sure your DH would not want her to suffer. Again, so sorry! It is not easy to make that decision!
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schizo319
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,030
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Post by schizo319 on May 16, 2019 12:04:33 GMT
Thank you all for the kind thoughts and advice. We talked at length last night, the vet told DH that our girl would let us know when it was time and gave us some pain medication for her when she seems most uncomfortable. Of course, yesterday after the vet visit she seemed to rally, she was more alert and curious about what was going on and she managed to get herself to the back door after her potty break (something she hasn't done in weeks). I guess we'll be waiting until she is constantly crying and refusing to eat before DH will acknowledge it's time... As horrible as it sounds to say, I hope that time comes quickly, I don't know how much longer I can stand waking up every morning hoping, yet also being terrified that she's died peacefully in her sleep.
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Post by mikklynn on May 16, 2019 12:30:06 GMT
Oh, I am so sorry. That is the hard part of having a pet.
I hope she does go peacefully in her sleep.
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Post by tentoes on May 16, 2019 15:35:25 GMT
That is such a hard decision, but I agree with the vet. Our first dog let us know. It actually makes the decision easier too. It's never easy to lose our fur babies though, my heart goes out to you and your family. ((HUGS))
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sassyangel
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,456
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Post by sassyangel on May 16, 2019 15:45:42 GMT
To our oldest dog? We have an 18yo dachshund - some of you might remember a few months ago when I asked about giving subcutaneous fluids for her kidney failure. Well, she "tore a ligament" in her leg a couple months ago, she's barely able to hop along on 3 legs to go to the bathroom. She does still eat, but stopped drinking when we started with the fluids (vet was unconcerned about the lack of drinking because I cook for her and we heavily water down her chicken & rice 2x a day and she's still peeing regularly). Today, she went back to the vet for a levels check and while she was there, the vet X-rayed because the torn ligament hasn't been healing. Turns out she has bone cancer. It is not going to get better, she already barely moves and sleeps most of the time. Though she isn't actively whining, I know she's in pain and she has essentially zero quality of life left. DH seems to think that as long as she's eating and still giving "nose smooches" she's fine. He doesn't seem to realize that because we see her all day every day, we don't realize how far down hill she's actually gone - this has become a new normal for us. I don't WANT to lose my sweet girl, but I know that it's time... I just don't know how to convince HIM that it's time... Any words of advice? Bone cancer is exceedingly painful for humans - even with the strongest painkillers. I would assume it is the same is for dogs, so that combined with her advanced age and kidney failure, IMO it’s cruel to keep her around just because a dogs nature is to behave like that. You are their entire world, they’ll kiss you to their dying breath, if they’re able. Sometimes being a pet owner requires making the unselfish decision in the best interests of your pet. It sucks, i know and I’m sorry - I’d maybe frame it like that. |
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Post by ladytrisha on May 16, 2019 19:37:25 GMT
I'm so sorry you're going thru this  I was ready to say goodbye to our large dog earlier this year way before my husband. He had severe heart problems (3 meds every day); went thru the diaper stage which was easier than it sounds and I knew Zeke was all there. But then the light dimmed and he slept most of the day and couldn't control his bowels. So then we started talking about quality vs quantity of life. We called the vet, made an appointment ... and then Zeke rallied, and the appointment was cancelled. Zeke then had a particularly bad week about a month later and I was near tears because, to me, he was suffering. We called the vet and they said come in - and thank goodness we had a vet that thought the same way. We took our younger dog with us and all of us were in the room as my hubby sat on the floor holding him as we all said what a good boy he was. (tears) To me, its part of what we sign up for as owners/fur parents - we have a duty to them to know when its time as they're not able to convey their feelings or let us know how much pain they're in - its one reason we won't treat animals for cancer or let them suffer. I agree with sassyangel above, bone cancer took a friend of mine and it was horribly painful. I couldn't let my animal suffer from that. |
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Post by scrappintoee on May 16, 2019 20:07:05 GMT
I'm so, so sorry !!! I sent up prayers for all of you---ugh, I know how horribly gut-wrenching it is! Many, many (( hugs )) I LOVE this quote   |
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 16, 2019 20:15:30 GMT
I would have the vet talk to him. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it really is the hardest part of pet ownership. Hugs to you all. |
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Post by hop2 on May 16, 2019 21:44:32 GMT
I’m so sorry
Hugs
I agree that he should talk to the vet
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Post by peano on May 16, 2019 22:18:46 GMT
I really have no advice, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am. It’s so hard to let them go. I hope the rest of your time with her is as sweet and pain free as possible. They honor us with a pure and uncomplicated love and we must honor that gift by doing the right thing for them.
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mimima
Drama Llama
Stay Gold, Ponyboy
Posts: 5,042
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Post by mimima on May 17, 2019 2:15:05 GMT
When we had an aging cat, my mom told me to take a photo of her. That step back allowed us to assess her more objectively.
That,and she couldn't get off the bed.
Huge hugs. It's such a difficult decision.
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Post by nlwilkins on May 17, 2019 5:10:38 GMT
It is so hard to make that decision. Been there. What helped me was to look up what would happen if we waited for our fur babies to pass on their own. The idea of my babies going through that was appalling.
What if you wait too long and your precious goes into convulsions or some other awful experience due to end of life issues. It is better to go a few daysor weeks too early than a few minutes too late. The time it would take for you to bundle her into the car and get her to a vet could be horrendous. Plus, it depriives her of a peaceful passing and gives you such a horrible memory of her last moments.
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FurryP
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To pea or not to pea...
Posts: 7,046
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Jun 26, 2014 19:58:26 GMT
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Post by FurryP on May 17, 2019 6:35:45 GMT
we've only put one dog down. i kept telling DH it was time but he kept putting it off. i finally said enough. time to put our dog's needs over his inability to let his dog go. to this day, i regret waiting for him to come around. i apologize to my dog a million times over in my head. next time, i won't wait for him to be ok with it because he will never be. dog first. husband second. I like everything you said.  |
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