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Post by Really Red on May 16, 2019 4:56:15 GMT
My 18yo son just finished his first year in engineering and he is a little lost. He has depression and just isn't sure of his path. A friend of my son's father suggested my son touch base with a certain professor who works with his wife. My son is eager to do that and I am SO happy that he wants to do something. So my son wrote an email and showed it to me. It's sweet (says the mom), but this professor is quite highly regarded in his field, and I highly doubt "sweet" will influence him.
So the note is fine and he says that the father suggested he write. He mentions his love of the field of study and a high school teacher in the same field (small town - likely they know each other) who can vouch for him. He wrote that teacher a note already.
However, he doesn't have a closing. He's not even sure what he wants. I think he wants to hang around this professor and just listen to him and talk the field of study with him, but clearly he can't really do that. I suggested he tell the professor he'd like to meet with him and talk possibilities of moving into that field, but my son feels that isn't fair because he isn't certain he wants to do that.
Is there a way to close a note like this? I'm SO far removed from college and we didn't even have email in those days! This is approximately how my son closed his note:
I would love to be able to meet with you and talk with you, if you have a little bit of time.
Any better thoughts? This is his business and his work, but he is so very lost right now, I am a little sick and worried for him. This is the first - the very first - thing in which he's been even slightly interested in a long while. The good thing is, is that the dad who vouched for him is highly respected in his field, as is his wife. The dad loves my son a lot and I really appreciate this introduction.
Thanks for any words of wisdom.
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Post by lucyg on May 16, 2019 5:05:13 GMT
I think it sounds good, actually. He’s asking for a meeting without pressuring the guy. Lets him choose the next step.
Is your son emotionally prepared for if the professor turns him down or doesn’t respond?
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Post by nlwilkins on May 16, 2019 5:14:14 GMT
I'm a little confused. Is your son needing some sort of help from this professor or what? Why is he writing him otherwise? Your son needs to figure out how the professor can help him that is not too labor intensive. Perhap some tips on determing where he should be focusing his time, or maybe classes he could take to help him find his focus. Maybe the professor could use an office assistant and your son could ask about that.
But, I don't believe a letter without a purpose is not soemthing that would get the professors attention or get a response.
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Post by Basket1lady on May 16, 2019 5:45:39 GMT
Both of my kids are in college. It has been their experience that the vast majority of professors are there to help the students succeed. A successful student body=a successful university. I don’t think that either kid has reached out and been told to get lost. I would say the vast majority of the interactions has led to mentoring in some form or another.
I would encourage your DS to say that he is considering exploring the field of engineering and would like to get a feel for what that would entail. Classes, jobs, etc. Most universities don’t expect that the freshmen (or rising sophomores) have declared a major yet. In fact, I don’t think either of my kids COULD declare a major until they hit 32 credits.
DS is an electrical engineer, graduating next week. His first engineering class was an overview of all the different area of engineering. If your DS isn’t sure of his area of interest, a class like that would be a good place to start.
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lurkyloo
Full Member
Posts: 284
Dec 5, 2018 6:53:08 GMT
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Post by lurkyloo on May 16, 2019 6:13:56 GMT
Most professors have open office hours. Perhaps he could say, “would it be alright if I came to introduce myself during your office hours sometime?” That’s not asking for a private scheduled meeting, and likely not that uncommon. Whatever naturally develops from there will determine their future relationship, if any.
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Post by christine58 on May 16, 2019 10:29:54 GMT
I would not use the word "love". I would end it using Basket1lady's ideas. I would encourage your DS to say that he is considering exploring the field of engineering and would like to get a feel for what that would entail. Classes, jobs, etc. Most universities don’t expect that the freshmen (or rising sophomores) have declared a major yet. In fact, I don’t think either of my kids COULD declare a major until they hit 32 credits. |
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Post by tmarschall on May 16, 2019 10:37:47 GMT
I'm a little confused. Is your son needing some sort of help from this professor or what? Why is he writing him otherwise? Your son needs to figure out how the professor can help him that is not too labor intensive. Perhap some tips on determing where he should be focusing his time, or maybe classes he could take to help him find his focus. Maybe the professor could use an office assistant and your son could ask about that. But, I don't believe a letter without a purpose is not soemthing that would get the professors attention or get a response. As a professor, I would love to meet with a student in this situation. The conversations on my couch in my office are among the most meaningful things I do. Students who come in with a rigid agenda are often tougher to deal with. A student searching with an open mind is a pleasure. Maybe a mentoring relationship with develop, maybe just a support, but unless the professor is an asshole, I would hope they'd feel the same. |
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Post by jenjie on May 16, 2019 10:39:45 GMT
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gsquaredmom
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,086
Jun 26, 2014 17:43:22 GMT
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Post by gsquaredmom on May 16, 2019 10:51:17 GMT
A short and straightforward business language email to the prof is appropriate. Don’t use words like love.
Something like this
Dear Professor Smith,
John Taylor recommended that I contact you. I am finishing my first year in engineering and would like to speak with you about areas of concentration and future employment prospects. Please let me know your office hours and a convenient time to meet.
Regards,
Tim Engineer
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Deleted
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Jul 8, 2024 2:25:54 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2019 11:29:47 GMT
As a professor, I would love to meet with a student in this situation. The conversations on my couch in my office are among the most meaningful things I do. Students who come in with a rigid agenda are often tougher to deal with. A student searching with an open mind is a pleasure. Maybe a mentoring relationship with develop, maybe just a support, but unless the professor is an asshole, I would hope they'd feel the same. This is the attitude of the majority of professors where I work as well. Their hearts really are with developing the upcoming generation in their field. |
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maryannscraps
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,750
Aug 28, 2017 12:51:28 GMT
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Post by maryannscraps on May 16, 2019 11:37:18 GMT
My son is a music major and often asks professors for help like that. He recently approached the department head, who organizes a local community band, for advice on joining local summer music groups (DS is from out of state but spending the summer at college.) DS learned a lot from him. He's always had super nice professors who seem thrilled to give him advice and help him out. I think people are flattered to have someone ask for advice -- I sure am.
DS also asks people if he can take them out for coffee. He attended a HS concert, and was intrigued by their artist in residence's background (he had taught music in Afghanistan). The musician lived in Boston, so DS drove in and had coffee with him for an hour and chatted. It's how he networks.
My husband is an engineer and CEO of a small manufacturing company. He's super busy, but he always makes time to talk to interested students. He just hired a college engineering student intern after she cold called him to ask him some questions about the company and the types of engineering they do. He wasn't even looking for an intern, but was so impressed by her questions that he asked if she'd be interested in a summer job. She started Monday.
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Post by Really Red on May 16, 2019 11:38:16 GMT
I'm a little confused. Is your son needing some sort of help from this professor or what? Why is he writing him otherwise? Your son needs to figure out how the professor can help him that is not too labor intensive. Perhap some tips on determing where he should be focusing his time, or maybe classes he could take to help him find his focus. Maybe the professor could use an office assistant and your son could ask about that. But, I don't believe a letter without a purpose is not soemthing that would get the professors attention or get a response. As a professor, I would love to meet with a student in this situation. The conversations on my couch in my office are among the most meaningful things I do. Students who come in with a rigid agenda are often tougher to deal with. A student searching with an open mind is a pleasure. Maybe a mentoring relationship with develop, maybe just a support, but unless the professor is an asshole, I would hope they'd feel the same.  This is exactly what my son is hoping for. He's just a little lost. I think the school he is in is not the best fit and personally I feel if he waits it out, the classes will be smaller and the professors teaching less by rote, but he can't see it. He tells me that's what everyone tells him, but it's not what he sees. Oh to be 18 again. His high school taught the Harkness method of teaching (teaching in a round table with everyone involved in discussions) and he thrived. It encouraged every person to have a voice and he's struggling with the idea of paying his dues to get to that point in a big university. He has spectacular relationships with his high school teachers. One of the reasons his friend's father suggested this professor is because he thinks my son has excellent discussions with adults and perhaps this professor can help guide him in a direction. Thank you tmarschall for being that kind of professor Most professors have open office hours. Perhaps he could say, “would it be alright if I came to introduce myself during your office hours sometime?” That’s not asking for a private scheduled meeting, and likely not that uncommon. Whatever naturally develops from there will determine their future relationship, if any. This is a great thought!! Thanks lurkyloo lucyg - my son is fine with being turned down. I can see why you'd think that and maybe he'd be pretty disappointed, but he understands how busy people are. This professor (and I know him only by reputation) is pretty much all that and it sounds like he is very, very sharp person. I think my son would be disappointed to miss out on that. Thanks, everyone, for the input. |
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Post by ShesaRenegade on May 16, 2019 11:47:23 GMT
I am a professor and agree with tmarschall that we really enjoy meeting with the student and talking about the field and career paths. They are fun conversations.
Only one caveat that I'd like to make you aware of though. Most college classes are finishing up the spring semester. Faculty are 9-month employees and are often not on campus, or even in the country, during the summer because of research obligations, training, conferences, etc. Please tell your son not to be discouraged if he doesn't get an immediate reply.
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Post by pattyraindrops on May 16, 2019 12:21:06 GMT
Both of my kids are in college. It has been their experience that the vast majority of professors are there to help the students succeed. A successful student body=a successful university. I don’t think that either kid has reached out and been told to get lost. I would say the vast majority of the interactions has led to mentoring in some form or another. I would encourage your DS to say that he is considering exploring the field of engineering and would like to get a feel for what that would entail. Classes, jobs, etc. Most universities don’t expect that the freshmen (or rising sophomores) have declared a major yet. In fact, I don’t think either of my kids COULD declare a major until they hit 32 credits. DS is an electrical engineer, graduating next week. His first engineering class was an overview of all the different area of engineering. If your DS isn’t sure of his area of interest, a class like that would be a good place to start. My husband is an EE who got his BS more than 20 years ago and MS this last December. I just want to give input on the jobs part in case that is one of the things the OP is looking for. DH has found a world of difference between professors who once or are currently working in the field and those who never have. Both may say that working as an EE is like "this", but very often those who haven't done so are wrong. There is a difference in what is taught and how it is taught by those who have experience and those who don't. DH has even had professors who don't have experience say something never happens in the field and DH has had to tell them he has been doing that for 20 years and it is an industry standard. So OP, I understand why your son would like to talk with someone, but if he really wants to know how it is working as an EE then he should know if the professor is or has worked in the field. Basketlady - I'm surprised about the declare a major at 32 credits. I wonder if it matters where you go. My daughter is a junior and would have been so far behind. Her major even has a pathway of classes that she takes every year. In fact, her freshman year she risked getting kicked out of her major when she didn't realize she needed to have a class spring semester. If you went 2 semesters without the required classes then you were out and summer semester counted as one of them. It was a little bit of a nightmare trying to find a community college that taught the class so she wouldn't miss a vacation in Spain that was already paid for and her brother's wedding since the university's class overlapped those 2 things during the summer |
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pancakes
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by pancakes on May 16, 2019 12:25:50 GMT
I like the office hours suggestion.
Also, I don’t mind your son’s closing but I would make it more specific.
Such as: I would love to learn more about your experiences in engineering if you have 30 minutes to spare and would be happy to meet during your traditional office hours, if that’s more convenient for you. I welcome any advice!
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Post by mustlovecats on May 16, 2019 13:29:32 GMT
“I’d like to talk about how to develop a vision for my future and make a plan to make the most of my time in undergrad, and (person) suggested that you might be a good person to help me gain some insight on that.”
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Post by librarylady on May 16, 2019 13:34:18 GMT
The word "love" should NOT appear in any letter/note that is a professional note.
Several good suggestions have been given. I think he should also find someone who actually works in that field and have a discussion with that person.
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pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by pilcas on May 16, 2019 13:44:58 GMT
He can certainly introduce himself in a note but he can also just approach him during office hours, that’s what they are for. It may also be that the professor is not around over the summer. He can always call the department and find out.
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Post by mom on May 16, 2019 13:52:27 GMT
Both of my kids are in college. It has been their experience that the vast majority of professors are there to help the students succeed. A successful student body=a successful university. I don’t think that either kid has reached out and been told to get lost. I would say the vast majority of the interactions has led to mentoring in some form or another. I would encourage your DS to say that he is considering exploring the field of engineering and would like to get a feel for what that would entail. Classes, jobs, etc. Most universities don’t expect that the freshmen (or rising sophomores) have declared a major yet. In fact, I don’t think either of my kids COULD declare a major until they hit 32 credits. DS is an electrical engineer, graduating next week. His first engineering class was an overview of all the different area of engineering. If your DS isn’t sure of his area of interest, a class like that would be a good place to start. My husband is an EE who got his BS more than 20 years ago and MS this last December. I just want to give input on the jobs part in case that is one of the things the OP is looking for. DH has found a world of difference between professors who once or are currently working in the field and those who never have. Both may say that working as an EE is like "this", but very often those who haven't done so are wrong. There is a difference in what is taught and how it is taught by those who have experience and those who don't. DH has even had professors who don't have experience say something never happens in the field and DH has had to tell them he has been doing that for 20 years and it is an industry standard. So OP, I understand why your son would like to talk with someone, but if he really wants to know how it is working as an EE then he should know if the professor is or has worked in the field. Basketlady - I'm surprised about the declare a major at 32 credits. I wonder if it matters where you go. My daughter is a junior and would have been so far behind. Her major even has a pathway of classes that she takes every year. In fact, her freshman year she risked getting kicked out of her major when she didn't realize she needed to have a class spring semester. If you went 2 semesters without the required classes then you were out and summer semester counted as one of them. It was a little bit of a nightmare trying to find a community college that taught the class so she wouldn't miss a vacation in Spain that was already paid for and her brother's wedding since the university's class overlapped those 2 things during the summer This is how it is at DS1 university. His track has been planned out by them since he walked onto campus. |
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likescarrots
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Post by likescarrots on May 16, 2019 14:03:53 GMT
I work at a University with a large engineering college and know professors in the college. I think it depends on what your son is looking to get out of it. If he just wants to talk, I think your close is fine. He might consider asking if it would be possible to work in his lab over the summer. It's a little late for that, but if your son can do it without pay that might help (and he should mention that in his email). He doesn't have to KNOW that he wants to be in the profs specialized area to work with him as an undergrad. It is better for him though to make it a little personal rather than just being like 'i need xyz from you' (xyz being guidance, experience, etc). He should make it clear that he has some passion or interest in SOMETHING, even if it's not exactly the profs area.
Re: office hours- most professors I know have office hours specifically for their classes/students. Most of them don't have office hours in the summer because 1. Not many undergrads on campus and 2. They aren't teaching classes in the summer. This is more likely in engineering than in liberal arts/social sciences.
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on May 16, 2019 14:22:56 GMT
DS is an electrical engineer, graduating next week. His first engineering class was an overview of all the different area of engineering. If your DS isn’t sure of his area of interest, a class like that would be a good place to start. So OP, I understand why your son would like to talk with someone, but if he really wants to know how it is working as an EE then he should know if the professor is or has worked in the field. I will agree with both of these comments. In addition to talking with a professor, I would encourage your son to seek out experienced engineers who are working in the field. DH is a 40 year petroleum engineer and is always open to speaking with engineering students. Those 'gray hairs' as they call themselves have a wealth of information and advice to share with the younger ones. An additional avenue for information and networking are the professional organizations for each branch of engineering. For example, the SPE (Society of Petroleum Engineers) will have meetings/study group sessions several times a year. Typically they are held at a hotel during lunch or after work and are usually open to guests. There will be a speaker from the industry. It is a good opportunity to meet people from the field and learn more about that industry. He can check the websites for these groups and see where/when these meetings occur. |
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Post by Basket1lady on May 16, 2019 14:27:52 GMT
Both of my kids are in college. It has been their experience that the vast majority of professors are there to help the students succeed. A successful student body=a successful university. I don’t think that either kid has reached out and been told to get lost. I would say the vast majority of the interactions has led to mentoring in some form or another. I would encourage your DS to say that he is considering exploring the field of engineering and would like to get a feel for what that would entail. Classes, jobs, etc. Most universities don’t expect that the freshmen (or rising sophomores) have declared a major yet. In fact, I don’t think either of my kids COULD declare a major until they hit 32 credits. DS is an electrical engineer, graduating next week. His first engineering class was an overview of all the different area of engineering. If your DS isn’t sure of his area of interest, a class like that would be a good place to start. My husband is an EE who got his BS more than 20 years ago and MS this last December. I just want to give input on the jobs part in case that is one of the things the OP is looking for. DH has found a world of difference between professors who once or are currently working in the field and those who never have. Both may say that working as an EE is like "this", but very often those who haven't done so are wrong. There is a difference in what is taught and how it is taught by those who have experience and those who don't. DH has even had professors who don't have experience say something never happens in the field and DH has had to tell them he has been doing that for 20 years and it is an industry standard. So OP, I understand why your son would like to talk with someone, but if he really wants to know how it is working as an EE then he should know if the professor is or has worked in the field. Basketlady - I'm surprised about the declare a major at 32 credits. I wonder if it matters where you go. My daughter is a junior and would have been so far behind. Her major even has a pathway of classes that she takes every year. In fact, her freshman year she risked getting kicked out of her major when she didn't realize she needed to have a class spring semester. If you went 2 semesters without the required classes then you were out and summer semester counted as one of them. It was a little bit of a nightmare trying to find a community college that taught the class so she wouldn't miss a vacation in Spain that was already paid for and her brother's wedding since the university's class overlapped those 2 things during the summer I think it is an official declaration at 32 credits. Both of my kids went into college knowing their major and had a four year plan that they followed/are following from Day 1. Both met with an advisor a day or two after moving in, before they even started classes. Neither would finish in 4 years if they hadn’t had a plan, as it is difficult to get |
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Post by Basket1lady on May 16, 2019 14:31:22 GMT
Gah! The board is being wonky. I was going to say that if you don’t have some idea of your field of study, it’s hard to get it all in in just four years. Esp if you have a lot of classes with labs, which can take as much time as a regular class.
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Post by Patter on May 16, 2019 14:34:23 GMT
Is there a campus career office? If so, I would also go there. They can certainly tell your son what professors to talk to or engineers even in the community that like to work with students or have them shadow. Career offices can be a wealth of information and help. Also, two of my daughters graduated from the Science division with multiple degrees. Their sister in the education division was having trouble with some things and needed a "third party" to talk to. She ended up talking to the Dean of Science about her issue because he loves her sisters and has always said he would help our family in any way. It wasn't even his area of expertise but was very helpful and open to helping a student in another division the university. I too think most professors want to help and have these conversations. I also think it's great your son wants more information. There are SO many things you can do with engineering. My hubby's undergrad is in Electrical Engineering, and his master's is in Computer Engineering. My brother and uncle are mechanical engineers. Everyone one of them has done very different things with their engineering degrees.
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Post by tentoes on May 16, 2019 14:35:11 GMT
My husband was an engineer, and he would have LOVED to mentor an upcoming engineer--in fact, he did a few times. That is so great that your son would reach out to someone. I wish him luck in his endeavor!!
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Post by hop2 on May 16, 2019 15:22:29 GMT
My DD has had several Professors reach out to her to offer advice. DD took a few of them up in it, it’s helpful to have someone to kick around what your thought process is and what/where you intend to go. It has been helpful because, at times the professors had knowledge that helped DD make up her mind, at other times it was helpful as just a different adult saying the same things mom has said. Somehow the professor ( any professor ) has SO much more credibility than ‘just mom’ has.  Either way, your son needs to know what he needs from the professor. If he us thinking at all if changing grind of study he should say that He is considering X field of study but looking for advice on how that fits with what he is currently doing blah blah blah If it’s mentiring that he wants then just flat out say that |
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Post by 950nancy on May 16, 2019 15:26:32 GMT
My husband worked in a specialized field that he loved to talk about. He's had many students chat with him in formal and informal settings. He would love to talk to a kid who was curious about the field.
A month or so ago, my son gave a tour of his college to an incoming freshman. I went with him (I know the freshman) and it was interesting listening to my son talk about the whole college experience. My son talked about his professors and you could tell he preferred some over others. The professors that taught full time or had engineering jobs during the day were his favorites. The professors that were doing research and teaching seemed too busy to bother with developing relationships with the students. Also, he found that as he entered the higher level courses, the professors seemed to be more interested in helping the students. My son is that kid who will introduce himself to every teacher and ask him/her questions. He spent quite a bit of time his freshman year immersing himself into the engineering experience.
I think letting the professor know what you want and then staying flexible about when and how you meet is important. I would try to find his office hours and go from there. I'd also suggest that if this professor doesn't respond, pick another one. Get in there and be as proactive as possible.
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Post by pattyraindrops on May 16, 2019 16:06:36 GMT
I will agree with both of these comments. In addition to talking with a professor, I would encourage your son to seek out experienced engineers who are working in the field. DH is a 40 year petroleum engineer and is always open to speaking with engineering students. Those 'gray hairs' as they call themselves have a wealth of information and advice to share with the younger ones. An additional avenue for information and networking are the professional organizations for each branch of engineering. For example, the SPE (Society of Petroleum Engineers) will have meetings/study group sessions several times a year. Typically they are held at a hotel during lunch or after work and are usually open to guests. There will be a speaker from the industry. It is a good opportunity to meet people from the field and learn more about that industry. He can check the websites for these groups and see where/when these meetings occur. Yes, good idea. DH is with the IEEE. How much it can help varies, but he has had some good experiences with them, been able to learn much as well. For him, the biggest thing has being able to research trade magazines etc that they provide which has been very useful to his work. I know that when he was doing undergrad work they occasionally had meetings with the students at the university. |
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Post by **GypsyGirl** on May 16, 2019 16:08:10 GMT
I know that when he was doing undergrad work they occasionally had meetings with the students at the university. Some organizations also have student chapters on campus. Something to look into once he decides on a specific field of study. |
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Post by Darcy Collins on May 16, 2019 16:13:02 GMT
As a professor, I would love to meet with a student in this situation. The conversations on my couch in my office are among the most meaningful things I do. Students who come in with a rigid agenda are often tougher to deal with. A student searching with an open mind is a pleasure. Maybe a mentoring relationship with develop, maybe just a support, but unless the professor is an asshole, I would hope they'd feel the same. This is exactly what my son is hoping for. He's just a little lost. I think the school he is in is not the best fit and personally I feel if he waits it out, the classes will be smaller and the professors teaching less by rote, but he can't see it. He tells me that's what everyone tells him, but it's not what he sees. Oh to be 18 again. His high school taught the Harkness method of teaching (teaching in a round table with everyone involved in discussions) and he thrived. It encouraged every person to have a voice and he's struggling with the idea of paying his dues to get to that point in a big university. He has spectacular relationships with his high school teachers. One of the reasons his friend's father suggested this professor is because he thinks my son has excellent discussions with adults and perhaps this professor can help guide him in a direction. Thank you tmarschall for being that kind of professor Most professors have open office hours. Perhaps he could say, “would it be alright if I came to introduce myself during your office hours sometime?” That’s not asking for a private scheduled meeting, and likely not that uncommon. Whatever naturally develops from there will determine their future relationship, if any. This is a great thought!! Thanks lurkyloo lucyg - my son is fine with being turned down. I can see why you'd think that and maybe he'd be pretty disappointed, but he understands how busy people are. This professor (and I know him only by reputation) is pretty much all that and it sounds like he is very, very sharp person. I think my son would be disappointed to miss out on that. Thanks, everyone, for the input. You've received a lot of good advice regarding contacting the professor, I did have a question though based on the above. Why engineering? I don't know that a different college would have made a bit of difference - the path to an engineering degree is going to involve many, many math, science and engineering classes that are NOT discussion based for all 4 years. I think meeting with the professor to discuss the field is a great idea. I'd also encourage him to really think about what drew him to engineering initially. |
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This is exactly what my son is hoping for. He's just a little lost. I think the school he is in is not the best fit and personally I feel if he waits it out, the classes will be smaller and the professors teaching less by rote, but he can't see it. He tells me that's what everyone tells him, but it's not what he sees. Oh to be 18 again. His high school taught the Harkness method of teaching (teaching in a round table with everyone involved in discussions) and he thrived. It encouraged every person to have a voice and he's struggling with the idea of paying his dues to get to that point in a big university. He has spectacular relationships with his high school teachers. One of the reasons his friend's father suggested this professor is because he thinks my son has excellent discussions with adults and perhaps this professor can help guide him in a direction. Thank you 
