Deleted
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Jul 8, 2024 1:29:30 GMT
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Wwyd fun
May 16, 2019 16:39:28 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2019 16:39:28 GMT
Ok so I know the right answer-not my monkeys, not my circus just think it is cruel.
So my BIL got a “V” behind his wife’s back a while ago... wife desperately wants more kids ,they have 4 and honestly shouldn’t have more (lives off welfare, that is just my honest opinion about that)
So SIL misses lots of periods and always hopes and post she is pregnant. She had a “ false” positive due to cysts and she is heart broke but claimed she was pregnant to the point of posting a random ultrasound off the internet putting her name on it.
( I googled cause the fetus size and her due date didn’t match so I searched. This is a common occurrence of her posting others photos as hers for sympathy)
Keep in mind I am not fond of my SIL but think it is so unfair to do this to someone regardless of how sh*tty I think she is.
Their marriage is so not great. He says he stays for kids....
So what do the peas think?
Oh and let me add he has been “trying” to get her pregnant. That to me is the cruel part of the whole thing.
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MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
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Post by MizIndependent on May 16, 2019 16:43:36 GMT
Wow. Not sure what I'd do in that situation.
She clearly has some mental issues going on though...that whole "posting a random ultrasound off the internet putting her name on it" bit is just, off.
Have you and DH talked about it? Is your SIL his sister or his SIL?
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on May 16, 2019 16:44:43 GMT
I think the concern should be focused on her! Posting fake ultrasound photos on social media yikes!
Yes he should have discussed it with her but she doesn't sound like she's rational at all so it probably would have been a moot point.
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on May 16, 2019 16:46:31 GMT
What can you do? I assume he knows she's posting fake US pics on FB and knows she's got some issues, but he chooses to stay. If you break his confidence and tell her that he had a V it's only going to make his life worse. You have to stay out of it.
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muggins
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,861 
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Post by muggins on May 16, 2019 16:46:31 GMT
I think she sounds mentally unbalanced if she is taking online ultrasound photos and passing them off as her own. I would be concerned for the 4 kids she already has and I think she would benefit from some sort of therapy. Although I don’t agree with doing things behind your partner’s back, in this specific situation I think he was wise to get a vasectomy.
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Post by padresfan619 on May 16, 2019 16:49:16 GMT
This doesn’t sound fun at all and I wouldn’t touch it with a 100 foot pole.
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Post by Mary_K on May 16, 2019 16:56:30 GMT
BIL did the right thing. And bless him for staying for the kids to protect them from wacked out SIL!
BUT - I wouldn’t be the one to tell her!
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Post by mikklynn on May 16, 2019 16:56:38 GMT
Did he do it because she would purposely get pregnant and he knows it is irresponsible? I'd have some sympathy for him in that case, as she sounds like she has issues.
I'd definitely MMYB. What a train wreck.
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Post by gar on May 16, 2019 16:57:30 GMT
What do I think? I think it sounds very messy and not something I'd involve myself in. What do you think? What are you thinking you might/could/should do?
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Wwyd fun
May 16, 2019 16:59:07 GMT
via mobile
Post by mustlovecats on May 16, 2019 16:59:07 GMT
The heartbreak and the desperate to have a baby I get. Falsifying an ultrasound pic feels just past a line to me. I think she sounds troubled and very sad inside but wouldn’t judge her for it.
A secret V sounds like part of the problem may be marital. I can’t see that a secret V is any more fair than a fake ultrasound.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jul 8, 2024 1:29:30 GMT
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Wwyd fun
May 16, 2019 17:06:05 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2019 17:06:05 GMT
What do I think? I think it sounds very messy and not something I'd involve myself in. What do you think? What are you thinking you might/could/should do? I’m not touching it with a 10 ft pole. I know my SIL ( by marriage) is mental. BIL is NOT there to “protect” the kids. SIL has post everything from her kids having so many illnesses she can’t even keep the stories straight. The whole family knows she lies to seek attention just like her just losing her “twins”. It is one of those situations that tour hand are tied in fear of making it worse. BIL is just along for the ride, I’m sure he loves the kids as she always is here and there and he has them when she is doing her thing. Just think it is sad and no real answer to all the issues. |
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Deleted
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Jul 8, 2024 1:29:30 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2019 17:25:59 GMT
Reason why I posted this is my husband and I were discussing the situation. I suggested he encourage his brother to do the right thing and push to get his wife help instead of just allowing this to go on.
They move several times a yr for not paying rent.. cars always repoed just over all sad.
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Wwyd fun
May 16, 2019 17:40:31 GMT
via mobile
Post by gar on May 16, 2019 17:40:31 GMT
She clearly needs help and it doesn’t sound as though he’s handling it too well. I honestly don’t know what you can do - it looks like everything will implode at some point in the not too distant future.
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pilcas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,997
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Post by pilcas on May 16, 2019 19:15:15 GMT
Well, honestly 4 kids is more than enough, specially if they are already have financial difficulties. Under different circumstances I would say its cruel but in this case I think he made the right decision. It sounds like she doesn’t want to hear anything that contradicts what she wants.
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Post by disneypal on May 16, 2019 21:58:09 GMT
How awful. I can't imagine keeping something as big as that from your spouse!! It sounds cruel to me that he is "trying to get her pregnant" knowing that it won't happen and she has not clue - especially knowing that she wants another child.
Of course it is their business alone but depending on your relationship with your BIL, I would try to encourage him to tell her the truth.
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on May 16, 2019 22:00:41 GMT
Shitty on his part, but if they’re living off welfare then she should have some common sense in all this too that having another child isn’t smart. I would keep my mouth shut because it’s not my business or place to say anything.
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Post by dewryce on May 16, 2019 22:11:35 GMT
How awful. I can't imagine keeping something as big as that from your spouse!! It sounds cruel to me that he is "trying to get her pregnant" knowing that it won't happen and she has not clue - especially knowing that she wants another child. Of course it is their business alone but depending on your relationship with your BIL, I would try to encourage him to tell her the truth. Keep in mind that DH and I have fertility issues so this is a sensitive topic for me as I know the pain of waiting and wanting to be pregnant. Of getting your period after being a few days late. Of hope taken away. Again. And again. And again. This, this is the height of cruelty. Yes, she sounds like she needs mental help. Yes, not having more children sounds like it is the right choice. Even if they discussed it and she said “no,” it is his body, his choice. He should have told her when he was going in for the appointment, and again after the appointment. Could she make his life more difficult, knowing the truth? Sure. But it is still the truth. Keeping it a secret is bad enough, but to encourage her hope? Heartless bastard. |
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Post by librarylady on May 16, 2019 22:32:31 GMT
I hope she is not so obsessed that she steals a baby or hurts a pregnant mother (stories we have all seen in the news).
In these conditions, I think your BIL made the right decision.
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Post by littlemama on May 16, 2019 22:49:56 GMT
How the heck did he hide a vasectomy from her??
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on May 16, 2019 23:46:48 GMT
Honestly, this sounds like an episode for one of those tacky shows like Jerry Springer.
I would not want to be involved in the parents' drama at all, but someone really ought to be advocating for those children.
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 17, 2019 3:52:32 GMT
I’m just glad at least one of them has taken some responsibility to restrict any additional reproduction. Sounds like they have their hands full as it is.
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
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Wwyd fun
May 17, 2019 4:24:31 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on May 17, 2019 4:24:31 GMT
My former sister-in-law posted fake ultrasounds too. After pretty much having six kids for attention, she ended up leaving my brother-in-law with all of them and married some guy she met in rehab. In your case, I would stay out of it but it is a sad situation.
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Post by nlwilkins on May 17, 2019 4:49:08 GMT
Sounds like he needed to get the V and kudos to him for that. I also get why he can't tell her, she would not handle it well even if he were not "trying" to get her pregnant. But, she needs help big time. That should be where he should focus his efforts. Going along with her efforts to get pregnant is cruel and the longer he lets it ride the worse it will get. Staying for the children is just a cop out in my mind. His children need a well mother and a father that is actively trying to get the family on its feet and off welfare.
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Post by scrappintoee on May 17, 2019 5:44:57 GMT
I agree with those who say I hope she gets help, AND......how are those 4 precious children being cared for ?  Also, can you please explain your title -- "Wwyd Fun" ---I don't understand what that means ? |
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Post by gar on May 17, 2019 8:38:59 GMT
I agree with those who say I hope she gets help, AND......how are those 4 precious children being cared for ? Also, can you please explain your title -- "Wwyd Fun" ---I don't understand what that means ? I’m not sure if you genuinely don’t know or you’re being facetious but assuming you don’t know- What Would You Do and I assume Fun = fluff, as in lighthearted thread. |
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Deleted
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Jul 8, 2024 1:29:30 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 17, 2019 11:52:01 GMT
I agree with those who say I hope she gets help, AND......how are those 4 precious children being cared for ? Also, can you please explain your title -- "Wwyd Fun" ---I don't understand what that means ? Fun was meant as hypothetical. Since there is nothing I can do as far as the situation the “fun” was reviving others view of the situation to see if my thoughts were inline with others. Not in the true meaning of the word fun. I did not know quite the right choice to put behind Wwyd since it wasn’t a a true wwyd in the sense of being able to make a choice. Fun implies that it has no real value as far as the suggestions made. BIL talks to my DH and disregards all of the suggestions over the years and I just call out SIL on all the fake photos of things. ( the US picture is one of many) I may seem as callus in the situation with my BIL and SIL and it may be true. All the drama from SIL has become an amusement. Very much along the lines of either laugh or cry. I have been to angry and worried to much over her behaviors in the past. |
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anniebygaslight
Drama Llama
I'd love a cup of tea. #1966
Posts: 7,398
Location: Third Rock from the sun.
Jun 28, 2014 14:08:19 GMT
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Post by anniebygaslight on May 17, 2019 13:50:41 GMT
How the heck did she not notice that he had had a vasectomy? My husband walked, as we say in the north of England as if he couldn't stop a pig in a ginnel (narrow passage) for weeks, and has tiny (or as he put it - enormous) scars.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on May 17, 2019 14:02:38 GMT
With the extra information outside of the OP, added onto her swiping an ultrasound off the Internet and claiming it’s hers—-I’m thinking he did the right thing knowing that it would be irresponsible to have another child that they cannot afford.
She needs help for herself, and then marriage counseling is in order.
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