PrettyInPeank
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,691 
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Post by PrettyInPeank on Oct 9, 2014 11:23:43 GMT
Assuming the bride knows that this has happened, I would handle it for her. I would contact the relative who added the extra relative and explain that she wasn't invited.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 20:17:57 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2014 12:53:30 GMT
I wouldn't contact the bride. She is the honoree, not the "owner" (aka hostess) of the party. While I do ask who they would want to invite ultimately I'm in charge of the guest list. I'm not going to put that burden on the bride's shoulders. I'll take ownership of the problem. Tell the one aunt she is welcome to come but there is limited resources and I don't have room for people who weren't on the guest list.
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Post by Miss Ang on Oct 9, 2014 12:59:24 GMT
I wouldn't contact the bride. She is the honoree, not the "owner" (aka hostess) of the party. While I do ask who they would want to invite ultimately I'm in charge of the guest list. I'm not going to put that burden on the bride's shoulders. I'll take ownership of the problem. Tell the one aunt she is welcome to come but there is limited resources and I don't have room for people who weren't on the guest list. But if there is going to be a family fallout and a lifetime of it being brought up about "that time I wasn't invited to a family bridal shower" it isn't going to be "the time ajsweetpea didn't invite me to BrideName's shower", it's going to be "the time I wasn't invited to BrideName's shower". The lifetime of drama is going to be centered around Bride. She should get to decide if that's something she wants to deal with forever or not. |
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Post by jmurray on Oct 9, 2014 14:04:21 GMT
I wouldn't contact the bride. She is the honoree, not the "owner" (aka hostess) of the party. While I do ask who they would want to invite ultimately I'm in charge of the guest list. I'm not going to put that burden on the bride's shoulders. I'll take ownership of the problem. Tell the one aunt she is welcome to come but there is limited resources and I don't have room for people who weren't on the guest list. But if there is going to be a family fallout and a lifetime of it being brought up about "that time I wasn't invited to a family bridal shower" it isn't going to be "the time ajsweetpea didn't invite me to BrideName's shower", it's going to be "the time I wasn't invited to BrideName's shower". The lifetime of drama is going to be centered around Bride. She should get to decide if that's something she wants to deal with forever or not. I agree that the bride is likely going to wear this long term, not whoever hosted the shower. For that reason alone I would let the bride know. I wouldn't put resolving it on her though - I'd make it clear that I will handle it - she just needs to give some direction. Yes, she gave you a list of invitees, but maybe she didn't anticipate this degree of rudeness from the nutty one. |
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The Birdhouse Lady
Prolific Pea
Moose. It's what's for dinner.
Posts: 7,589
Location: Alaska -The Last Frontier
Jun 30, 2014 17:15:19 GMT
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Post by The Birdhouse Lady on Oct 9, 2014 18:30:10 GMT
This party is for the bride, not the family. Simply tell relative that Nutter was not invited, the bride doesn't want Nutter at the party, and if relative can't respect the bride's wishes, then relative shouldn't attend either. But then I don't have much tolerance for such behavior.  |
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Post by Regina Phalange on Oct 9, 2014 19:38:44 GMT
Can I just say I love the names everyone is using for the not invited relative...lol.
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Post by kristenf on Oct 9, 2014 20:04:33 GMT
Before stringing up the RSVPer, there's a chance that she might have innocently said to the Nutter, "Are you going to Bride's shower?" and without saying she never got an invite, Nutter said, "Of course, RSVP for me too!" If the invites went out that recently, it truly might not be a case of Nutter and RSVPer calculating that Nutter was actually not invited because everyone else got their invite 2 weeks ago, and thus sitting down together and plotting how to weasel Nutter's way in.
Or, maybe they did. But, there is a chance they didn't. So, that said, ITA that you should ask the Bride for the ruling on the course of action, as she will bear the brunt of the fallout in the future. And when it comes time for you to carry out the Bride's wishes, I would just keep in mind that it's possible the RSVPer is an innocent victim and keep the communication with an apologetic tone (until she goes all batsh*t crazy, then you should feel free to unleash! LOL)
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,556
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Post by cycworker on Oct 9, 2014 22:12:26 GMT
First of all, you have to update when you decide, and tell us what happens either way.
I agree with talking to the bride, given she'll feel the impact of it.
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