tanya2
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1604
Posts: 4,427
Jun 27, 2014 2:27:09 GMT
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Post by tanya2 on Jun 10, 2019 2:28:58 GMT
I didn't want to read & run. Sending you huge HUGS That does sound like a lot to deal with at one time. Deep breaths, one minute at a time, you will survive this!
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Post by Delta Dawn on Jun 10, 2019 2:32:30 GMT
What about Uber to get to appointments? *full disclosure I don’t know how Uber and Lyft work as they are stillillegal in my province. Is that too expensive? I do agree your situation sucks. 😥
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Post by Basket1lady on Jun 10, 2019 2:36:51 GMT
Yeah, hurry up and wait. The military isn’t known for customer satisfaction, are they? I’m so sorry that you are dealing with this.
Can you get out of your lease? It seems to me that they have a breach of contract. Is it actually cheaper to live on base? These days, we live off base because we actually make money off our BAH that way.
If you want, I can do some research and find an advocate for you, either the office or who to contact. I’ve filled that role before as a commander’s wife.
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Post by freecharlie on Jun 10, 2019 2:52:40 GMT
Can you call a news station for help? Break your lease and move in somewhere else? That sounds horrible
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Post by Basket1lady on Jun 10, 2019 3:03:26 GMT
Yeah, hurry up and wait. The military isn’t known for customer satisfaction, are they? I’m so sorry that you are dealing with this. Can you get out of your lease? It seems to me that they have a breach of contract. Is it actually cheaper to live on base? These days, we live off base because we actually make money off our BAH that way. If you want, I can do some research and find an advocate for you, either the office or who to contact. I’ve filled that role before as a commander’s wife. I’m medically retired so no command to push things anymore. We aren’t staying in texas ( just until I finish last semester this fall) so post housing was close to college and doctors. You still fall under the base commander’s jurisdiction. What about MOAA? Your old commander? Military OneSource? Who oversees the housing on base? Not the privatized company—but who oversees them? I know your plate is full, but you may just need to rattle some cages. I’m so sorry—I know your plate is full. But it may be time to rattle some cages. The health clinic may be able to help, or point you in the right direction. Sometimes just the threat to report them can help, but you need to know who to threaten them with!
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Post by jubejubes on Jun 10, 2019 3:23:03 GMT
@littleblueberry -- I don't know of any "quality" hotel, like the suite-type that would be available to your family as you have 2 large dogs and a cat. Most places have a 1 pet policy.
I wish you well and would take the advice of those that have military experience.
If you cancel your appointments in-advance, why would you be charged? I can see that (fees) for a less than 24-48 hour window.
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Post by nlwilkins on Jun 10, 2019 4:45:54 GMT
Sounds like a family council is called for. Your daughter should be able to be dropped off early and stay at the college until she can be picked up. She can study in the library. A college student should be able to handle herself on her own for the day. Although the main reason you are there is to finish your schooling, your health should be a priority. Is it time to drop out of your classes for now? Does hubby have to have these classes now? You are overburdened and overwhelmed and really if things don't change, something bad is liable/might happen. This is too, too much for any one person to handle. six people in an hotel room is not good. Until that is resolved, other things will need to be prioritized. If hubby cannot attend classes, then he should drop them. It is too much to expect you to do them for him.
But, of course you will continue on to try to handle it all. That is the role of mother and wife and what we expect of ourselves. Just not fair. You have my prayers that you can hold up under the load, for it is a heavy load you are bearing.
just thought of this - our vet will keep our pets for the day when there are appointments, for free. That would help on the scheduling.
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Post by christine58 on Jun 10, 2019 10:30:10 GMT
Well you took on a new puppy knowing that you were in a hotel...Not a smart move to be completely honest and now the dog is ill. You and your DH need to probably drop your classes or chat with the online college and get some kind of extension. Cancel all your appointments right now. Then I would be at whoever is in charge of this housing mess until it's FIXED. Until then--stop your classes, stop doing your DH's classes. AND again..hate to say this...Find someone to take the puppy.
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Post by mikklynn on Jun 10, 2019 12:16:42 GMT
No advice, just sending a giant (((HUG))).
OK, a little advice. You need to stop doing everything for everyone. Your DH has to do his own work. Your DD is a college student. She should be able to figure out her own schedule and how to make it work.
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used2scrap
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,084
Jan 29, 2016 3:02:55 GMT
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Post by used2scrap on Jun 10, 2019 12:24:20 GMT
@littleblueberry -- I don't know of any "quality" hotel, like the suite-type that would be available to your family as you have 2 large dogs and a cat. Most places have a 1 pet policy. I wish you well and would take the advice of those that have military experience. If you cancel your appointments in-advance, why would you be charged? I can see that (fees) for a less than 24-48 hour window. Courtyard by Marriott often have a very generous pet policy and suites if you are near one/can find availability. Is there a Veterans service organization you could reach out to, they might be able to help connect you to some resources. Like Hope For the Warriors, Operation Honefront, Semper Fi Fund?
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Post by christine58 on Jun 10, 2019 13:13:02 GMT
And we would have to get a storage unit to hold our kayaks that fit under our current carport and extra fridge. So when we adopted the puppy we were under the impression we just had a few days left in a hotel. I do understand what you have said and I will have to lighten my load on college. It just sucks since We are using our GI Bill and will have to pay back for classes dropped that VA payed for. These classes were signed up for in the beginning of May You need to go raise hell with whoever is in charge of your housing. Go in person...
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Post by Basket1lady on Jun 10, 2019 15:07:49 GMT
Well you took on a new puppy knowing that you were in a hotel...Not a smart move to be completely honest and now the dog is ill. You and your DH need to probably drop your classes or chat with the online college and get some kind of extension. Cancel all your appointments right now. Then I would be at whoever is in charge of this housing mess until it's FIXED. Until then--stop your classes, stop doing your DH's classes. AND again..hate to say this...Find someone to take the puppy. I am horrible at adding all the details. When we were put in a hotel we were told we were spotted from a new house on base June 6th. We saw the house the 5th ( when it was ready. They failed to tell us rent would be 100 more in rent, parking space was reduced and the backyard was 1/3 our current size with this: And we would have to get a storage unit to hold our kayaks that fit under our current carport and extra fridge. So when we adopted the puppy we were under the impression we just had a few days left in a hotel. I do understand what you have said and I will have to lighten my load on college. It just sucks since We are using our GI Bill and will have to pay back for classes dropped that VA payed for. These classes were signed up for in the beginning of May I’m not sure what I’m looking at there? But if they are giving you you a new house, people are moving out every day. I’d raise some hell. No, you aren’t going to pay more in rent. No, you can’t take less storage. And no, you shouldn’t have to drop your college classes to fix this mess. They need to get this figured out and stop wasting your time. And I wouldn’t be shy about saying so. In the meantime, 6 people in one room is ridiculous. They need to get you into 2 rooms today. I’m pretty sure that’s in the regs. I agree—your DD can hang out on campus before and after class. My DD is taking summer classes at a campus up in DC. If she has something else going on up there, she stays and does her homework. Every college has a commuter/day use area. If you aren’t in a second hotel room and housing doesn’t have a plan by the end of the day, call Military OneSource tonight. They can help you figure out how to escalate the issue and who to contact. I wish I was in the area. I’d be happy go with you and go all Commander’s Wife on them. I’m feeling kinda spicy today anyway.
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Post by malibou on Jun 10, 2019 15:35:48 GMT
So sorry you are struggling so mightily right now. basket1lady has some excellent info and ideas. I hope you will be able to execute on some of them in an effort to alleviate some of the madness.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Jun 10, 2019 17:38:40 GMT
I'm so sorry. I have hugs to give.
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Post by ShesaRenegade on Jun 10, 2019 17:57:32 GMT
Well you took on a new puppy knowing that you were in a hotel...Not a smart move to be completely honest and now the dog is ill. You and your DH need to probably drop your classes or chat with the online college and get some kind of extension. Cancel all your appointments right now. Then I would be at whoever is in charge of this housing mess until it's FIXED. Until then--stop your classes, stop doing your DH's classes. AND again..hate to say this...Find someone to take the puppy. I am horrible at adding all the details. When we were put in a hotel we were told we were spotted from a new house on base June 6th. We saw the house the 5th ( when it was ready. They failed to tell us rent would be 100 more in rent, parking space was reduced and the backyard was 1/3 our current size with this: And we would have to get a storage unit to hold our kayaks that fit under our current carport and extra fridge. So when we adopted the puppy we were under the impression we just had a few days left in a hotel. I do understand what you have said and I will have to lighten my load on college. It just sucks since We are using our GI Bill and will have to pay back for classes dropped that VA payed for. These classes were signed up for in the beginning of May Navy veteran and university professor here...
Honestly, the military is under no obligation to give you a place to store your kayaks or another fridge. That's on you.
Doing classwork for your husband is considered cheating and collusion. This could end up getting you expelled from the university and have serious consequences with the military and your GI Bill.
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Post by Lexica on Jun 10, 2019 18:05:45 GMT
I have zero military experience, so I would follow Basket1lady’s advice. My only contribution would be regarding meals for a large family. Do you have an Instant Pot or crock pot? I live alone, yet I use my Instant Pot weekly to make soups. I could live off just soups alone if I needed to.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 3:14:27 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2019 18:12:53 GMT
I need to write it somewhere. I am ready to wave my white flag. Seriously I’m holding on by a strand right now. I did not expect that this was coming. I thought I could handle it but I’m not sure how much more I can deal with. Being in 3 different hotels the past 17 days, losing my fur baby, sick puppy, full time college online and 4 kids. I don’t drive. My husband is running everywhere so I am doing his college classes too. I believed post housing that they would start work 16 days ago for the mold in our house... nope nothing. After throwing a fit to housing we were moved to a hotel with TWO burners( no oven) after 2 weeks with just a microwave. I’m sick of cold cuts and pizza but how do you cook for 6 people on two burners in a hotel room? I have missed 4 appointments, so missed appt fees. Our room just has beds and a table... no sun light. I just want to curl up in a ball and 😭. I keep telling myself it will eventually end but when. Tomorrow back at the vet at 9am, daughter has to be at college at 10:30 and my speech class is at 10:00. I will have to miss class again. I just don’t know what to do... Do you have some physical limitation that prevents you from driving?
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Post by FuzzyMutt on Jun 10, 2019 19:31:54 GMT
I have a little experience with the military. I was a military brat, active duty, then national guard and also married to a person (now divorced) who is still active duty.
Some take aways. Housing is always a pain, that never changes. Also having pets in the military is tough, moving is always an option, even if you don't own... but they are in charge of where you live, and you can't control it. For that reason I've never had more than one dog, and certainly was cognizant of the breed due to breed discrimination.
If you're medically retired, cancelling all appointments "now" may be tough, since it may have taken a while to get them. You probably need to prioritize getting to your appointments pretty high, don't you think?
Your college kid needs to figure it out.
Where on earth is your husband "running everywhere." His classes are his and if he can't seem to fit them in, he shouldn't be getting credit. Come on that's bullshit.
And your classses. Why on earth (other than taking on too many classes during summer term) besides a boat load of kids and pets would you be having trouble doing your classes? Do you work? I did my education while working full time with 3 kids at home and a husband that was deployed 4 years out of 5.
No idea how old your other 3 kids are, but wallowing isn't going to fix anything. Get a few card games, go outside, find a basketball hoop or a pool and look at the bright side. At least the military is providing you a roof over your head. You want a place big enough for 6, in the real world (yep, I said that) it would cost alot more.
On that same note... I've stayed in a damn Motel 6 outside Ft Bragg with 3 children a dog and two large birds for 2 months (waiting for delayed closing on our house) and it SUCKED! I get it! Get outside and get some sunlight. You're in a hotel, not a jail! Also, alot of hotels either have patios in the pool area with grills or a park nearby, grill your food! Instant Pot recommendation is a good one as well. And a good old fashioned toaster over can make life much much better. Good luck.
edited to add: THE DOGS ARE A GREAT DANE AND RHODESIAN RIDGEBACK?!? Geeze. You got a 16 week old puppy while staying in a hotel? One that recently was infested with fleas? Additionally being 16 weeks old, one would assume PUPPY peeing on the floor (thanks alot for making it tough for responsible pet owners to find pet friendly accommodations.) So you've been in the hotel 17 days, 6 days ago you were so NOT overwhelmed that you decided to take on a sick puppy? I have no sympathy.
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Post by destined2bmom on Jun 10, 2019 23:38:16 GMT
I am sorry that you are dealing with so much. Can you rent a storage unit for kayak storage? Can you see a doctor for your anxiety and take some medicine to help you for a while? I think that basket1lady has excellent ideas and you seriously need to think about what ShesaRenegade has said about the university classes. You don’t want to set yourself up for more problems.
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Post by Basket1lady on Jun 10, 2019 23:58:54 GMT
That’s good that you are trying to escalate the issue. Some advice for how to handle this? You need to have a reasonable expectation of what they can do for you. Be polite, but firm. And know your rights, not just what you want, but what they are obligated to provide. I’m not sure exactly what you are allowed since you are not active duty, but I’m pretty sure you have rights as a tenant they are trying to rehome.
If the 6 people in one hotel room are all military dependents, you have recourse there. It must be in the regs that each person has a bed space. Start there to get a second (adjoining) room. Can you get a TLF instead? Or do you have too many pets to qualify?
As for a house, I believe you have 2 refusals and after the third refusal you go to the bottom of the list? No, they are not obligated to provide storage for kayaks. Those can be left outside for a short time. But I’d fight them on that extra $100 a month. Obviously they are not at full capacity if they are allowing retirees to live on base and it’s their refusal to maintain the home that has led to this move. Just politely keep reminding them of that. They know what houses are coming available. The last time we lived on base, I was pregnant and I needed no stairs to our main living space, including laundry. So we got a letter stating that. If you have certain requirements for a living space, you will need that in writing from your doctor.
Cold cereal, pb&j, frozen meals, lunch meat, and rotisserie chickens are your friend for meals. Cheap and easy. The kids will survive. Keep your appointments—I’m sure it took forever to get them and you don’t want to get blacklisted. And keep up your classes. It’s not going to get better if you don’t get your degree. Remember what you are working towards.
Good luck!
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Post by Basket1lady on Jun 11, 2019 1:20:01 GMT
I want to thank everyone for the responses good and well not so good. This post was a moment of being overwhelmed with the situation at hand. I’m sure everyone has had moments where they felt defeated and needed to put it into words just wanting someone to hear them for that moment. I have endured trials before and I know I will make it thru this one. It’s a lot to deal with. Don’t feel like it isn’t. Sometimes it takes affirmation to convince me that it really is an issue and to move forward, not just something that I need to deal with on my own.
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Post by Zee on Jun 11, 2019 1:34:24 GMT
I have a little experience with the military. I was a military brat, active duty, then national guard and also married to a person (now divorced) who is still active duty. Some take aways. Housing is always a pain, that never changes. Also having pets in the military is tough, moving is always an option, even if you don't own... but they are in charge of where you live, and you can't control it. For that reason I've never had more than one dog, and certainly was cognizant of the breed due to breed discrimination. If you're medically retired, cancelling all appointments "now" may be tough, since it may have taken a while to get them. You probably need to prioritize getting to your appointments pretty high, don't you think? Your college kid needs to figure it out. Where on earth is your husband "running everywhere." His classes are his and if he can't seem to fit them in, he shouldn't be getting credit. Come on that's bullshit. And your classses. Why on earth (other than taking on too many classes during summer term) besides a boat load of kids and pets would you be having trouble doing your classes? Do you work? I did my education while working full time with 3 kids at home and a husband that was deployed 4 years out of 5. No idea how old your other 3 kids are, but wallowing isn't going to fix anything. Get a few card games, go outside, find a basketball hoop or a pool and look at the bright side. At least the military is providing you a roof over your head. You want a place big enough for 6, in the real world (yep, I said that) it would cost alot more. On that same note... I've stayed in a damn Motel 6 outside Ft Bragg with 3 children a dog and two large birds for 2 months (waiting for delayed closing on our house) and it SUCKED! I get it! Get outside and get some sunlight. You're in a hotel, not a jail! Also, alot of hotels either have patios in the pool area with grills or a park nearby, grill your food! Instant Pot recommendation is a good one as well. And a good old fashioned toaster over can make life much much better. Good luck. edited to add: THE DOGS ARE A GREAT DANE AND RHODESIAN RIDGEBACK?!? Geeze. You got a 16 week old puppy while staying in a hotel? One that recently was infested with fleas? Additionally being 16 weeks old, one would assume PUPPY peeing on the floor (thanks alot for making it tough for responsible pet owners to find pet friendly accommodations.) So you've been in the hotel 17 days, 6 days ago you were so NOT overwhelmed that you decided to take on a sick puppy? I have no sympathy. Meow baby, very meow! I agree that getting a second large puppy while living in a motel was ill-conceived, especially with all those people and other pets. I can't imagine. I also liked your pull your shit together response. But you could have added a hug or something. 😁 OP, I'd give that puppy back to the rescue and are that you should be able to get your classes done without interruptions from the kids. I finished nursing school with a toddler and a newborn. It can be done. Your DH should be doing his own classes and if not, for heaven's sake don't admit that here or anywhere else or he could get expelled for cheating. Driving is a life skill I wouldn't want to not have, particularly with children and needing to get to appointments. Can you work on that? Maybe a driving school? My DS had extreme anxiety about driving at first and told me he would just never drive but I made it clear it wouldn't be optional. He overcame it.
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julie5
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,611
Jul 11, 2018 15:20:45 GMT
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Post by julie5 on Jun 11, 2019 1:48:46 GMT
Sending you hugs. Vent away. You’ve earned it. <3
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Post by FuzzyMutt on Jun 11, 2019 12:49:46 GMT
Meow baby, very meow! I agree that getting a second large puppy while living in a motel was ill-conceived, especially with all those people and other pets. I can't imagine. I also liked your pull your shit together response. But you could have added a hug or something. 😁Good point! Hugs are definitely in order!
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