One for the Peas - a Bridezilla

Charming. Absolutely charming. If I was the guest, I wouldn’t even bother answering.

I’d buy a wig, wear a jacket...then rip it all off once inside just because I’m a petty bitch like that lol

Thanks gar.

1) the friend has bright blue hair and is covered in tattoos, so her choice of appearance is automatically going to be a barrier to certain things. She shouldn't be surprised if people who like her but not her dramatic appearance would prefer her to tone things down a little. And a wedding IS all about the bride and groom, not the one blue, tattooed friend who stands out a mile.

Having said that:
2) the bride's delivery of her "request" was rude and entitled. Presumably her friend had blue hair and tattoos when she invited her, so it's not as if she wasn't previously aware. Definitely NOT a discussion to be had by text.

There's entitlement on both sides IMHO.

I disagree that hair color and tattoos should be any bar to normal social events. This is not a fashion show or a professional speaking engagement; it’s a wedding.

I think the only entitled one here is the bride, who feels that how everything looks is more important than the life commitment she is making, supposedly surrounded by people she loves. I’d drop her like a bad habit. And I predict her marriage isn’t long for the books, either, if she is truly this superficial.

The bride is nuts, in my opinion. I didn't care what anyone looked like at my wedding or my son's. I just wanted the people I care about to be there.

The bride was out of line in her request and quite rude in her delivery of it.

Besides, how many photos of one's wedding include guests? The large majority of guests are in candid type snaps rather than posed photos. It seems a mountain over a molehill anyway.

I wouldn't attend. That bride has a lot of maturing to do.

mustlovecats, gar and Merge - you're right, I was trying to play devil's advocate and was attempting to see both sides to a certain extent.

One of DH's friends is tattooed almost all over. He came to our wedding, and he couldn't resist getting his skin out to show everyone. The photos never bothered me in the slightest - but then our wedding only had a colour scheme for the flowers and the bridal party. Everyone else could, and did, do what they liked.

My biggest regret is something that everyone has discussed on this board already and almost universally agreed to be unacceptable. Our wedding was planned as a New Year's eve wedding, and everything was arranged: reception in an old inn, music (a singer and her husband accompanying her), the meal - everything. As you can imagine, it all took a LOT of preparation and cost more than normal, simple though it was, just because of the timing.

In the June, the only things unfinished were the cake, dresses and flowers. Then I lost my job, and my father and his grandfather were both diagnosed with terminal cancer. DH2B was working abroad. We hastily brought the wedding forward to the end of July, but decided to keep the reception in December because it was already fully paid for. I did the flowers myself, and found dresses in the sales and arranged for the alterations. Because I suddenly wasn't earning, we simply couldn't afford 2 receptions, but MIL2B wanted some kind of celebration so we decided on a simple meal at a local restaurant - and this is the bit everyone thinks is awful - on the invitations, we told the guests the full story and said that they were all invited to both events but we would have to ask them to pay for their own meals on the day, not the New Year reception. Even then I felt bad asking, but it was an awful time (DH's grandad died just before the wedding and we had a wedding and funeral the same week) and DH wasn't even there. He got home 2 days before the wedding and flew back 2 days afterwards.

Everyone said they understood. I didn't feel as bad about it then - until I came here and read everybody's thoughts on it.

Real OCD has absolutely nothing to do with being an asshole, and most people with it go to soul crippling lengths to hide it. This is one insult I’d really like to see go the way of being as socially unacceptable as “retarded”. I can tell you how much it hurts my kid (diagnosed at age 5) when she hears stuff like this.

I'll admit, I'm in the group "That's it, I'm wedding shaming." I don't post or comment but I do enjoy watching a good train wreck now and then.

I love bridezilla stories.

I think it also says something about the friend who had to run to social media and turn her friend in for being a bridezilla. This was a private conversation and now it's all over blogs or news stories. THAT is poor taste. So the lack of understanding and compassion between 2 friends goes both ways and they really the guest is no better then the bride at this point. Both screaming for attention "It's MY day" says the bride and "look and me and my terrible friend" says the guest.