craftymom101
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,771
Jul 31, 2014 5:23:25 GMT
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Post by craftymom101 on Jul 13, 2019 22:03:13 GMT
I really not have not met one single wacko in person. I’ve never been on a bad date. I just find most men are looking for something with no investment... This is exactly what I’m finding. My mom says men now have no longevity or stamina. They want perfect, easy, with no effort on their part and, unfortunately that is exactly what I’m finding. I do talk about my children because that’s how I know what men think about kids and child rearing. I’ve had two serious relationships, both of whom said and did all the right things when we were first dating. As soon as the kids entered the picture, they had demands, expectations, I should be parenting this way instead... ugh. Should I have waited years before introducing them to my children only to find out 2-3 years into a relationship that they aren’t good with my kids? WHY do men think parental discipline is a “man’s job” and women don’t know WTF they are doing? Dating sucks. Usually a first date is fine, then I get the message “I’m not looking for anything serious right now. How about FWB?”.
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Post by 950nancy on Jul 14, 2019 4:08:00 GMT
I really not have not met one single wacko in person. I’ve never been on a bad date. I just find most men are looking for something with no investment... My good friend did the on-line dating for years (over a dozen). I made her call me from the bathroom for every first date to let me know if she needed an emergency call to get her out of a bad situation. She had a few. Most guys just weren't her type. She is a teacher and really wanted to meet a guy with a degree. She hated getting texts from guys with misspelled words. She did eventually find a guy she had a lot in common with and was married (first time) at 38.
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Post by gryroagain on Jul 14, 2019 5:01:24 GMT
I’ve dipped my toe in the water and been surprised but a bit weirded out by the men who want to jump to serious. I thinks it’s location (expats) Maybe? I really thought and wanted online dating sites to be more hook up oriented😂
So my problem is I have no space in my head or life for a relationship, but the guys I’m meeting want that. And it’s a bummer to have to keep well- kind of hurting people. I do t have a lot of free time, so I want to fit them in when it is convenient for me, not see them everyday and message constantly and talk on the phone and go out every night.
I think I’m going to have to lower my vetting standards to find the guys with a similar mindset maybe. And that is just depressing, who wants to sleep with stupid people?
So at the moment I’m thinking dating is not for me. Maybe in a year or 2 I’ll try again. Maybe I’ll just get a new vibrator and call it good😂
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Post by lesserknownpea on Jul 14, 2019 9:44:04 GMT
Oldest DD is turning 36. Since getting out of a 15 year long emotionally abusive relationship, she’s had 3 relationships, one of them serious. And she’s been disappointed with all. One was a carefree surfer in his 30’s, who loved having a gorgeous girlfriend but did not want to move the relationship along. One turned out to be a heroin addict. The worst was the guy who seemed perfect, treated her wonderfully, talked about marriage and kids, and turned out to be a chronic liar. Everything he told her about himself was a lie. He wasn’t even single, he had another woman, with a child of his, who he was still stringing along. DD’s looks get her asked out constantly, but she’s gone into counseling, ( finally!!), and is planning on staying single while she processes just how badly the guy she was with since her teens messed her up. But what will probably happen is some guy will say something to make her feel better about herself, and the whole thing will start over again. ashley , I agree with the PP, who said by widening your circle of friends and acquaintances, you will meet more men and eventually perhaps a true companion.
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Post by gypsymama on Jul 14, 2019 12:25:31 GMT
I'm finding exactly the same thing!!! Very very few men actually want to DATE... most want a test run before they even buy me dinner.... I'm 48 and most men my age have grown kids and their time and money goes to Harleys, snow mobiles, etc... And they are busy all the time doing those things. Summer is passing rapidly and I just want someone to go do things with 😢
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Post by lisacharlotte on Jul 14, 2019 14:11:14 GMT
I feel for you in the dating pool. I don't think I could do it again at 54. As a young woman, I dated people I met through friends or friends of friends so there were people who knew both us and I could find out information instead of just relying on the person to tell me about his background (truthfully). Once I was on my own and in the military, I met people through work. I met my husband in the military. I met people he'd known for years, so it wasn't a matter of just taking his word for it he wasn't married or a weirdo.
I know there are people who have met and married their partner online, but it seems to be the exception. I think online its so easy to swipe by someone because of one of those things that make us imperfect individuals and it becomes a flaw to be dismissed with no thought to the rest of the person. Just like swiping by because someone is too short, fat, blonde, bald, dark, etc.
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Post by alexa11 on Jul 14, 2019 14:46:43 GMT
My self-esteem is completely gone. I’m 34, a size 8, educated, and I have two great kids. STOP IT! You are beautiful! It's not YOU, it's THEM. I do know what you mean though, but don't let these guys bring you down. Your guy is out there and you will find each other. I know the waiting and sifting through the losers sucks, but hang in there.
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craftymom101
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,771
Jul 31, 2014 5:23:25 GMT
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Post by craftymom101 on Jul 16, 2019 1:34:51 GMT
ashley I apologize for hijacking your thread! Dating sucks and I’m sorry. I hope you find someone to spend time with this summer.
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
Jun 17, 2016 12:36:53 GMT
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Post by ashley on Jul 20, 2019 19:56:33 GMT
ashley I apologize for hijacking your thread! Dating sucks and I’m sorry. I hope you find someone to spend time with this summer. No apologies at all!! It wasn't a hijack I hate that you're suffering through this too, and glad you shared and posted. Do you have anything fun or exciting coming up?
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
Jun 17, 2016 12:36:53 GMT
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Post by ashley on Jul 20, 2019 19:58:43 GMT
I wanted to say thanks again for all of the replies and suggestions. I have been checking out Meetup groups... found about five or six in my area that look OK but I think 4 of them don't have any events scheduled and the other two just have things during the week while my classes are scheduled. But I will keep checking. I was hoping to find a pinball group to join! I like Annabella's suggestion of hanging out in coffee shops, I'm going to try to do some studying and work out of the house because I think it would be a good change of scenery for me anyway.
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craftymom101
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,771
Jul 31, 2014 5:23:25 GMT
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Post by craftymom101 on Jul 20, 2019 21:10:36 GMT
ashley I apologize for hijacking your thread! Dating sucks and I’m sorry. I hope you find someone to spend time with this summer. No apologies at all!! It wasn't a hijack I hate that you're suffering through this too, and glad you shared and posted. Do you have anything fun or exciting coming up? Not really. I’ve dated for four years and I’ve had nothing but disappointment. Right now I am focusing on myself and accepting being alone. It’s sad and somewhat depressing but I hate that I feel incomplete. There are plenty of people out there who are okay being alone and I need to figure out how to get to that place. My ex-bf really did a number on me, emotionally, and I need to work through those feelings as well.
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
Jun 17, 2016 12:36:53 GMT
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Post by ashley on Jul 20, 2019 21:38:07 GMT
No apologies at all!! It wasn't a hijack I hate that you're suffering through this too, and glad you shared and posted. Do you have anything fun or exciting coming up? Not really. I’ve dated for four years and I’ve had nothing but disappointment. Right now I am focusing on myself and accepting being alone. It’s sad and somewhat depressing but I hate that I feel incomplete. There are plenty of people out there who are okay being alone and I need to figure out how to get to that place. My ex-bf really did a number on me, emotionally, and I need to work through those feelings as well. It’s so complicated! I understand your mixed feelings about wanting a partner but also needing to be happy on your own. I’m hoping it’s a process that eventually will work. Lol. I’ve been on two dates this week, both of which were disappointing. Nothing wrong with either man, I just left feeling “meh”. It’s really awkward to when he’s way more into it than I am... I’m heading to my friend’s birthday party in the middle of a heat warning. Perhaps someone will be overwhelmed with admiration for my excessive sweating abilities! Lol
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Post by Delta Dawn on Jul 21, 2019 0:34:59 GMT
Ashley, here is my theory. I don’t date (and I have an friend with benefits) but I won’t date a guy I didn’t know in my past. I don’t trust anyone and my mother’s family are naturally suspicious. I noticed my GP stopped wearing her ring and we are about the same age. She said she doesn’t date and won’t marry again. The calibre of available men is low. That said my dad and his girlfriend are both good so I have nothing.
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