Purity Culture author announces separation-UPDATE

Wow indeed. That puts a whole other spin on the story.

That was my thought as well. Or his ex-wife is coming out. Either appears to be on the horizon  

Amazing update! I hope that he continues to live and practice his words.

Right? 

That bell can't be unrung. The damage he did exponentially outweighs this "apology." 

Disclaimer... not arguing with you here.


I think generally disagree on the apology part—or maybe not necessarily disagree but have a different perspective give each individual circumstance.

I ask myself the question when is an apology enough/not enough?

Lately, I’ve read many instances where an IG/you tubers/social media person has given an apology and people continue to vilify them, tearing them down, ripping them to shreds and trying to destroy them.

Some times it’s over petty, material things, and sometimes it’s because of something they’ve said, or like in this case the author lived a lifestyle, wrote a book and promoted a lifestyle that many find damaging (and to be fair, there are many who do not find what he wrote about to be wrong at all).

So if someone realizes that they have wronged or damaged people, and they give a sincere, heartfelt apology, is it enough?

Shouldn’t we allow a person the benefit of doubt and see if in their actions now show that they meant it? Shouldn’t we apply forgiveness? (not forgetting)

What if the person made a mistake? And corrected it, made restitution, apologized for their words, or in this case goes on to live a life differently that before?

How long do we stall a genuine apology/hold off forgiveness?

Merge and sockmonkey I think that's not very fair. A lot of people are products of their environment. A lot of people do things that are abhorrent. A lot of people do things that cause damage to other people.

But a lot of people never wake up. They never face what they've done. They never repent for it and ask forgiveness. The fact that he is doing this in such a public way makes me think he's trying to correct some of the destruction he caused. He is suffering the consequences too. And maybe the consequences aren't enough "justice" being served in your minds but what more can he do?

From my perspective it is people like him who have the very best chances of opening the eyes of other people who were like his former self. Kind of like having ex prisoners peer counsel newly released inmates. They have a power to open up a mind that they can relate to better than the average American.

I hope he keeps taking his lumps. And I hope he keeps speaking out. If he formerly had the power to influence so many, let us pray that he still has the power to influence---in the right way.

I understand what you're saying. I hope you are right that he keeps speaking out, and can only hope that all those who followed his message when it was one of exclusion and bigotry will now see the error in their thinking. 

However, he has now said he's "no longer a Christian," so how well will his messages be received by those who identify as Christian?

I really hope you are right, but I hope you understand that I am skeptical. My wish is that folks begin with and follow a message of love, acceptance, and equality so that we don't end up in this situation to begin with. 

I share your skepticism. We've heard stories just on this board, and I don't want to name peas or the religion, where their movement away from their faith has resulted in damage to the relationships within their families. So surely if someone can shun a beloved family member for a change of heart, they can easily shun someone with no personal connection like him.

Some people will never be open to a change of message. And some people will be inquisitive. And that's just human nature. The inquisitive ones are the ones that might be able to be reached.

I just felt like you guys wanted this guy punished in some way and that goes contrary to my beliefs that those who change from "the dark side" to finally stand in the light should be welcomed with open arms.

This is exactly how I feel, but you have put it into better words than I have.

I am hugging you virtually, FYI.  

Thanks for being someone I appreciate talking to on here.

SockMonkey right back at ya! You, Merge, and lucyg always make me think very hard about where I stand on things. All three of you often bring up points that I think, I didn't think about that aspect at all.

Love you too, babe. My initial comment was more regret for the bell that can’t be un-rung. So many lives were damaged by the “purity” movement. But I’m not suggesting that this guy should be punished for that in some way. The people and churches who took the idea and ran with it also bear responsibility.

It’s just sad, is all. Hopefully some good can come from this in that future would-be life experts think through the potential long term consequences of what they say.

I've not read the book, but have read about couples who have had major issues after waiting for marriage.

I am so sorry you went through that. I’ve read Elizabeth Smart’s books and I know she felt the same way. It’s wrong on so many levels and further victimized the victim. I wouldn’t want to be involved with a God like that.