gahhh. I’m sorry. I agree, get a lawyer. If it’s a financial issue, wait till he gets arrested and then request a public defender. Do not talk to the police without one.
LUCYG Northern California
MoreCowbell says I’m a racist … hmm … 9/10/23
"The old Two Peas forum was American, but this one was set up by a Brit, as no one else could be arsed." --anniebygaslight 5/2/18
"Reality has a liberal bias, I guess." --pierogi 7/9/18
Does your son have a phone? If so, they could see where it was located at that particular time. It is 100% but it may help. It sounds like you are pretty certain that your son was home, therefore I would stand by that - it sounds like whatever footage they have, it isn't 100% clear that it is your son.
Sorry you are going through this. I agree with not talking to the police any more until your son has a lawyer. One thing they are going to ask is whether you or DH can testify that you saw your DS that evening. Right now, just saying that you were up the whole time, cars were in the driveway and that would have noticed someone leaving/coming, might not be enough to confirm that your DS was home the whole time. Cell phone records would help and well as any security footage. Also, have DS remember exactly what he did when he came home, from what he may have watched on TV to whether he was surfing online, while everything is still fresh in his head. If the perp did open the front door of that place, they should have prints? That alone should exclude your DS from being a suspect.
I’m sorry you are going through this and I understood your point. Sadly your son may struggle with this type of problem for awhile. Hope it works out ok.
I am sorry you (and your son) are having to deal with this refugeepea. Absolutely no need to be embarrassed by any of it. Crap happens and kids do stupid things all the time. Most of us made it through being extremely lucky and with no consequences. Unfortunately some do not get so lucky but most come out of it on the other side as good people and a productive part of society.
How about something with his cell phone, if he has one, corroborating your account that he was home? Good luck, I hope you can sort this out.
I have life260 on my kids phone. It will track everywhere they have been.
PeaNut 184,360
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I am sorry you (and your son) are having to deal with this refugeepea. Absolutely no need to be embarrassed by any of it. Crap happens and kids do stupid things all the time. Most of us made it through being extremely lucky and with no consequences. Unfortunately some do not get so lucky but most come out of it on the other side as good people and a productive part of society.
How about something with his cell phone, if he has one, corroborating your account that he was home? Good luck, I hope you can sort this out.
I have life260 on my kids phone. It will track everywhere they have been.
In the strictest sense it doesn’t track where they have been, but where their phone has been. The assumption, which may not hold up in court, is that the phone is with the child 24/7. That is hard to prove if the child has been “off-line” in terms of using the phone.
“ There is something uncannily adaptive about anti-Semitism: the way it can hide, unsuspected, in the most progressive minds.” James Lasdun
I'm really sorry that you are going through this. It must be very frustrating. My dd was naughty and it is a tough situation to be in. We were never faced with her being accused of something she didn't do, though.
I hope you can get things figured out and that court went okay today.
I know this is a simple example and what I'm trying to portray is that you always want your child to do the best, whatever that is but sometimes there's an alternative view and could be happening.
SO here is my simple example: My dear mom friend called me to tell me that my DD sprinkled pretzels (not- gluten free) in her daughter's lunch, without looking, as a joke. However, her daughter has Celiac disease so this is more than a prank and could risk her health. At the time I did not respond because I was in the midst of a colonoscopy prep and received the message days later.. However, I believed that my DD did not do this, and why would she cause health distress to her friend (she knew she had to be gluten-free)...Several weeks later she confessed that she did do this because she thought the label of the pretzels was gluten-free.
I hope this helps, probably not. But it's hard to be a parent/advocate especially when it involves serious things. Be strong and smart.
That's a big misconception about the justice system. The police only have to have probable cause to make an arrest. "Proof" comes into play later, when the district attorney, prosecutor, and jury come into play.
So why wasn't he arrested? Court date or not, attempting to enter someone's home?
This is odd to me as well. The police don’t have to have proof to arrest someone. Even with that low bar, they didn’t arrest him. It sounds like they came to try to scare you and/or him into confessing to this or to something else. I agree with the other peas who said to get a lawyer. Unfortunately, the legal system is too complicated to navigate without one. Even if you are innocent—sometimes especially when you are innocent.
Oh, and I could see having a court date and not having an attorney. People sometimes have to go to court to pay speeding tickets without an attorney. Just because her ds has a court date doesn’t mean he’s a felon.
Can you walk your street and see if anybody else has a doorbell camera? Maybe you'll get lucky and there will be one that gets your door and yard
I'm sorry you are going through this. Hopefully the truth comes out
Tribbey: I believe, as long as Justice Dreifort is intolerant toward gays, lesbians, blacks, unions, women, poor people, and the first, fourth, fifth, and ninth amendments, I will remain intolerant toward him! [to Ainsley] Nice meeting you
UPDATE 08/21/19- His court case has been delayed five weeks. We found a lawyer, installed cameras in our house and outside, and have a phone tracking app. The lawyer we found was a referral through my brother, so I feel a lot better about that. I hate being treated like a liar especially when it is a serious issue. There's more beyond bizarre accusations with these people. I'm hoping he can get what he needs to prove this and other "incident" did not happen.
I will say my son has made some bad choices, but this is NOT one of them. A policeman came to our home and said they had him on surveillance at 2:11 and 2:40 in the morning at a place he shouldn't be. The problem was, I was awake. My husband came up to our room at 1:45.
I came downstairs and could smell a stench from my youngest child's room. I was all over the house. Every single level. I changed his diaper. I got him a drink and a snack. I went to our room and switched out his ipad. I stayed in the living room to get away from the smell in the lower level until I heard a knock on the door. I was awake the entire time until they came to our house. I was the only one who went outside to throw the diaper away. Tomorrow is trash day, and I had to get my shoes on, and walk out to the road to throw it away. I would have noticed any missing vehicles. Our cans were placed farther down the road because of work they are doing in our neighborhood.
From my kitchen (tri-level home), you can see all three exits. The living room is on the same level. We keep our sliding glass door locked up tight. It is a small home. You can hear a toilet flush two levels up. You can easily hear a door open and shut. My son's bedroom is on the second floor with at least a 15 foot drop and no way to get down.
I asked the policeman if the time stamp was accurate. He said it was.
I WILL NOT lie for my son. He knows he's on a short leash with me. He's been very challenging. I have no issues using tough love and putting him in his place. IF he had left, I would have been pissed and woke up my husband immediately. I have never been in any trouble. My last traffic ticket was in 2001. I have two other kids with issues. I repeat, I will not lie for him.
It's not worth getting into the back story, but this was absolutely not him. It makes zero sense. We saw the footage. This person had bushier hair, a bigger build, and did not run like my son. I've never seen my son wear a hoodie like that. My son has a unique way of walking. I thought he looked shorter. My son is 6'3" It showed the person getting into a white car. We do not own a white car and currently all my son is doing is working and sleeping. He has one friend he interacts with rarely and coworkers.
We have no cameras at our house and the policeman didn't seem convinced. He thought we were lying. I'm going to check with the neighbors tomorrow, but it's a small town.
I hope this makes sense. It's almost 5:00 a.m. and I've had about 2 hours of sleep, which probably wasn't helpful when I was talking to the policeman.
Wait a second. You’re update says you hope this and the other incident can be proven that it didn’t happen. I thought he confessed to the first incident already?
If there are more incidents and they all are no true (and provable) I hope you file harassment charges against them. It sounds like this very well could be harassment.
Edited - it’s early so maybe it’s not harassment but it sounds like they could be picking on your son.
refugeepea Get a public defender...ask for one. It sounds like he needs one for today and this issue.
you can't just go get a public defender - that process happens after and arrest - you get a chance to fill out a form stating you are indigent and can not afford and attorney also not valid if you are bonded out
Wait a second. You’re update says you hope this and the other incident can be proven that it didn’t happen. I thought he confessed to the first incident already?
I'm sorry this is confusing. A total of three "incidents". One happened and the other two did not. The third "incident" was him "caught" on camera.
you can't just go get a public defender - that process happens after and arrest - you get a chance to fill out a form stating you are indigent and can not afford and attorney also not valid if you are bonded out
They did look into that yesterday and he did not qualify. You apparently have to be piss poor and nearly homeless to qualify.
If there are more incidents and they all are no true (and provable) I hope you file harassment charges against them. It sounds like this very well could be harassment.
