me2
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Post by me2 on Aug 30, 2019 22:54:27 GMT
I lost the love of my life to suicide 2 years ago this month. I didn’t find out until later on because he wasn’t that close to his family. He struggled a lot with bipolar and I know he’s now at peace but it’s been challenging.
My best friend from high school flew me out to where she’s living now. She has 3 kids still at home. I had this idea to decorate rocks with different messages on them. Even her 7 year old helped paint the rocks. They had messages like: Follow your heart (that was probably one of his number one messages to me), Hope, Joy, Let Your Light Shine, Grace, Peace, Follow your dream, etc. He was always big in sharing his light and love with others which I’ve always tried to do too.
On the 2 year anniversary of his death we went and put them in different places at this amazing park that had a nature trail (he was really big on being outdoors so that honored him too!). I hope the people who need to see them find them at the right time. That they will be reminded that their life matters.
It’s a small thing but it brought me such great joy to honor him in this way. Not a day goes by when I don’t miss him. I feel him around me though a lot and I’m so grateful for that. For the rest of my life I will help others who are struggling. I’ve had suicidal ideation as lot before due to childhood trauma. I’ve been on the side of feeling that way and losing 3 people I love to suicide (obviously my loss of him was the biggest but the other two were painful too). I’m hoping to make this a yearly tradition. It helps make that day bearable to help others.
I just wanted to share this with the peas. And if any of you are struggling my box is always open! You’re not a burden. You’re not alone. You matter!
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smcast
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Post by smcast on Aug 30, 2019 23:01:27 GMT
What a great start to an annual tradition. I'm glad you have some positive things to provide some comfort.
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QueenoftheSloths
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Post by QueenoftheSloths on Aug 30, 2019 23:12:00 GMT
That would be a lovely tradition. I hope you do continue.
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me2
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Post by me2 on Aug 30, 2019 23:16:13 GMT
Thank you! It’s a small tradition but I am hoping to get more people involved next year. I want to take the stigma out of mental illness. There’s no shame in needing help.
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trollie
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Post by trollie on Aug 30, 2019 23:16:41 GMT
I found a painted rock like that on a day that was particularly trying. It was very helpful to get that message when I did, so THANK YOU! I'm sure your thoughtful words will give someone comfort when they need it.
I'm so sorry for your losses.
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me2
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Post by me2 on Aug 30, 2019 23:18:21 GMT
I found a painted rock like that on a day that was particularly trying. It was very helpful to get that message when I did, so THANK YOU! I'm sure your thoughtful words will give someone comfort when they need it. I'm so sorry for your losses. Awe! What did it say? Where did you find it? I’m so glad it found you at the right time!
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trollie
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Post by trollie on Aug 30, 2019 23:23:45 GMT
I found a painted rock like that on a day that was particularly trying. It was very helpful to get that message when I did, so THANK YOU! I'm sure your thoughtful words will give someone comfort when they need it. I'm so sorry for your losses. Awe! What did it say? Where did you find it? I’m so glad it found you at the right time! It said "You are strong" Needed that reminder on that particular day. I left the rock where I found it so someone else could benefit from it's message.
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Post by scrappintoee on Aug 30, 2019 23:27:57 GMT
I'm so very sorry about you losing the love of your life plus the two other people to suicide! ![:'(](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/cry.png) (( hugs )) It's wonderful that you and the kiddies did the rock thing to make other people happy. My friends and I started doing that last year, and it is so fun! I've read many stories where people were having a bad day, and finding a cute little rock made gave them a little burst of joy. Thanks, your post inspired me to get back to painting and hiding some rocks! ![](https://i.imgur.com/HKVaa6B.jpg?1)
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Post by scrappintoee on Aug 30, 2019 23:31:29 GMT
me2 .....It's great that you want to take the stigma out of mental illness! I'm doing great now, but I suffered from a horrible depression 2 years ago, so I KNOW what it's like. You may already know about it, but there's a new member here who started a mental health forum that you may be interested in. I'll see if I can find you a link.
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me2
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Post by me2 on Aug 31, 2019 0:17:51 GMT
Awe! What did it say? Where did you find it? I’m so glad it found you at the right time! It said "You are strong" Needed that reminder on that particular day. I left the rock where I found it so someone else could benefit from it's message. Awe I love that! It sounds like it was perfect!
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me2
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Post by me2 on Aug 31, 2019 0:18:24 GMT
I'm so very sorry about you losing the love of your life plus the two other people to suicide! ![:'(](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/cry.png) (( hugs )) It's wonderful that you and the kiddies did the rock thing to make other people happy. My friends and I started doing that last year, and it is so fun! I've read many stories where people were having a bad day, and finding a cute little rock made gave them a little burst of joy. Thanks, your post inspired me to get back to painting and hiding some rocks! ![](https://i.imgur.com/HKVaa6B.jpg?1) I love those!
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Post by roberta on Aug 31, 2019 0:19:55 GMT
Sorry for your loss. That is a beautiful tribute.
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me2
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Post by me2 on Aug 31, 2019 0:26:05 GMT
me2 .....It's great that you want to take the stigma out of mental illness! I'm doing great now, but I suffered from a horrible depression 2 years ago, so I KNOW what it's like. You may already know about it, but there's a new member here who started a mental health forum that you may be interested in. I'll see if I can find you a link. I really do wish more people understood it! My mom was an alcoholic, bipolar (it was called manic depressive back in the late 80s/early 90/) and she had DID (which was called multiple personality disorder). My grandma had massive anxiety and extreme codependency and depression in her later years. Mine is all related to trauma so medications don’t work the best but my therapist is preparing me to do EMDR. I had a super bad reaction to Paxil, Cymbalta and Celexa where I had an active plan to end my life. It was a dark time and that’s when he met me and I met him when he was having bipolar delusions. But we saw into each other’s souls and understood the pain. And after reconnecting then having to let go of my dad my family are pretty sure he’s a Narcissist. That’s thrown around a lot now I know but he’s never really cared about anyone but himself, including me. Dropping out of my life wasn’t abnormal but to go 13 years without contact was definitely abnormal. I’m not sure who does that to their only child. I’ve forgiven him but I just can’t have him in my life. He was an alcoholic too and homeless for awhile. But at least now I know he’s safe and cared for. So mental illness runs rampant. I’ve been diagnosed with chronic, complex PTSD, MDD and Panic Disorder. I do believe counseling will help greatly!
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me2
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Post by me2 on Aug 31, 2019 0:27:03 GMT
Sorry for your loss. That is a beautiful tribute. Thank you! I hope they find their way to whomever needs them the most!
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tanya2
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Post by tanya2 on Aug 31, 2019 0:29:05 GMT
i love this!
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Post by idahopea on Aug 31, 2019 0:50:01 GMT
What a wonderful idea to make the rocks! They will benefit many, many people who are dealing with all kinds of things in their lives. You just never know when a positive message might make all the difference in someone's day!
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Post by Alexxussss on Aug 31, 2019 1:09:19 GMT
What a powerful way to remember your loved one and to help others! I imagine finding that rock would bring a smile to anyone’s day. Thank you for doing this! ![](http://i1168.photobucket.com/albums/r481/2peasrefugees/Smilies/hug.gif) I’m so sorry for your losses.
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Post by refugeepea on Aug 31, 2019 1:10:56 GMT
I'm glad you are are in a good place right now. Thank you for your post.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Aug 31, 2019 1:48:21 GMT
You found a lovely way to pay honor to his memory and involves others in the process. And it sounds like it brought you some peace along the way, too. Thanks for sharing it with us.
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Post by lucyg on Aug 31, 2019 3:04:14 GMT
What a great way to celebrate his memory. Remember to always be kind to yourself on these difficult days.
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Post by Scrapper100 on Aug 31, 2019 3:07:01 GMT
What a great way to honor his memory and pay it forward. It sounds like a great tradition to start.
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Post by alexa11 on Aug 31, 2019 3:25:45 GMT
How wonderful! I lost my SO to suicide 3 years ago and it's so hard to understand. I hope your rocks give someone peace.
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me2
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Post by me2 on Aug 31, 2019 4:25:30 GMT
How wonderful! I lost my SO to suicide 3 years ago and it's so hard to understand. I hope your rocks give someone peace. Big hugs! I’m here if you need support. It really is tough. His last text to me broke my heart. I love him so much and miss him so much. The grief for me hits in waves out of nowhere. Or a song will play that reminds me of him. Just so many things.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Aug 31, 2019 12:22:10 GMT
What a wonderful and lovely tribute. I almost lost my son to suicide. Most of the time I try to shove all those emotions out of my head because they are so overwhelming. I can't imagine how you must feel. Hugs.
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Post by pierkiss on Aug 31, 2019 12:24:31 GMT
That is so sweet. Your actions are sure to bring smiles and a little bit of joy to the people that find them. My kids and I get ridiculously happy when we find hidden painted rocks while we’re out and about.
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me2
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Post by me2 on Aug 31, 2019 16:45:35 GMT
What a wonderful and lovely tribute. I almost lost my son to suicide. Most of the time I try to shove all those emotions out of my head because they are so overwhelming. I can't imagine how you must feel. Hugs. I remember that. I’m so grateful he is doing better! Having mental health issues sucks and I know you know that too. Big hugs! I’m glad he’s at a better place now.
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