brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353 
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Post by brandy327 on Sept 3, 2019 22:33:33 GMT
... these teenage years.
We're 4 days into school. One came home with a horrible attitude and the words "I hate everything" came out of her mouth. It's become her new norm. And one I'm not quite sure how to handle at this point.
The other one came home after her first soccer practice(she just came off an injury) with a migraine. This means she's probably looking at missing 2-6 days of school right from the get go. She has rescue meds and her daily meds and it does cut the duration(from 14-16 days). But this is not the way I wanted the school year to start.
Ooops...hit enter too soon.
The one with the attitude doesn't handle stress & change very well...she's been in therapy previously but absolutely refuses to go back. I'd like to see her go back but she doesn't feel it's valuable.
Only 176 more school days left. 😞
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Post by hop2 on Sept 3, 2019 22:39:04 GMT
Hugs
These moody years can be rough.
My oldest didn’t find therapy valuable until she chose & paid for her own. 😉
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Post by lucyg on Sept 3, 2019 22:46:47 GMT
My DD’s high school (and MS, and college) years were a friggin’ nightmare. I damn near wanted to kill her. She is a perfectly lovely 30-something now. I not only love her, but I like her, too. That’s all I got. Good luck.  |
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Post by destined2bmom on Sept 3, 2019 22:57:50 GMT
I am walking right there with you. But I have boys. I get nothing from them. It’s just the eye roll, with the negative voice and “I don’t want to talk about it” or “Why do you have to ask, mom just don’t ask. It doesn’t matter.”  |
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Post by kkrenn on Sept 3, 2019 22:58:31 GMT
My youngest who is 20 has had a horrible go at her teen years. She suffers from severe anxiety and depression and mix that with hormones and boy did we have quite a few massive roller coaster rides. Last year we got her an IUD with low hormones and it has helped a lot over all. We still go through days where everything and everyone is stupid but I can honestly say they are getting farther apart.
My unsolicited advice is to keep your arms and legs inside at all times and HOLD ON! It doesn't last forever and they will come back to you.
Hugs
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
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Post by brandy327 on Sept 3, 2019 23:01:13 GMT
I am walking right there with you. But I have boys. I get nothing from them. It’s just the eye roll, with the negative voice and “I don’t want to talk about it” or “Why do you have to ask, mom just don’t ask. It doesn’t matter.” I have one of those too. You ask him a question about his day and I get a half grunted "fine!". Ugh!! |
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
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Post by brandy327 on Sept 3, 2019 23:02:19 GMT
My youngest who is 20 has had a horrible go at her teen years. She suffers from severe anxiety and depression and mix that with hormones and boy did we have quite a few massive roller coaster rides. Last year we got her an IUD with low hormones and it has helped a lot over all. We still go through days where everything and everyone is stupid but I can honestly say they are getting farther apart. My unsolicited advice is to keep your arms and legs inside at all times and HOLD ON! It doesn't last forever and they will come back to you. Hugs LOL! Thanks that gave me a good chuckle. I'll be sure to keep my arms and legs inside at all times!!! |
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
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Post by brandy327 on Sept 3, 2019 23:03:10 GMT
My DD’s high school (and MS, and college) years were a friggin’ nightmare. I damn near wanted to kill her. She is a perfectly lovely 30-something now. I not only love her, but I like her, too. That’s all I got. Good luck. Thanks! <3 I'm sure we'll make it through... right now it seems pretty bleak. |
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Post by trixiecat on Sept 3, 2019 23:16:19 GMT
I just had it out with my senior. I ask how her day went and it was all negative. I told her to quit school and get her GED. She is a good kid and student but I can't stand the negativeness. Her boyfriend is the opposite. All postive and realistic. It is going to be a long year!
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Post by mom on Sept 3, 2019 23:19:07 GMT
Im sorry. Its hard parenting teens, isn't it? It will get better, but for now, I suggest going and hiding. LOL
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Sept 3, 2019 23:27:55 GMT
Wine..lots of it.  |
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
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Post by brandy327 on Sept 3, 2019 23:34:20 GMT
I just had it out with my senior. I ask how her day went and it was all negative. I told her to quit school and get her GED. She is a good kid and student but I can't stand the negativeness. Her boyfriend is the opposite. All postive and realistic. It is going to be a long year! This is her biggest issue honestly. Her negativity is pretty constant. It's emotionally draining for me. I try to explain to her that it takes so much energy to be so negative all the time but she doesn't get it. |
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Post by yodutchess on Sept 3, 2019 23:34:26 GMT
My oldest DD put me through this most special hell. They all did, but she exceeded the others. She is now 30 and has apologized repeatedly.
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
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Post by brandy327 on Sept 3, 2019 23:35:40 GMT
Im sorry. Its hard parenting teens, isn't it? It will get better, but for now, I suggest going and hiding. LOL LOL It is. It has some super great moments but then these huge mood swings are killer. Hiding? I've tried. She comes looking for me. |
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
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Post by brandy327 on Sept 3, 2019 23:37:16 GMT
Wine..lots of it. LOL If only. I have an autoimmune liver disorder so I can't drink. At least not as much as I'd need to to make myself feel better. 😂 |
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
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Post by brandy327 on Sept 3, 2019 23:38:52 GMT
My oldest DD put me through this most special hell. They all did, but she exceeded the others. She is now 30 and has apologized repeatedly. This gives me hope.  |
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,556
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Post by cycworker on Sept 3, 2019 23:42:36 GMT
Parenting is tough. Intellectually we know it isn't personal when they get like this. It's all rooted in hormones & brain development.
Honestly, I'd check out Dr Vanessa LaPointe on social media. She's on Twitter, Insta and FB, and she answers questions a lot. You'd be doing a service to many!
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Post by canadianscrappergirl on Sept 3, 2019 23:48:10 GMT
I'm sorry I only had the pleasure of boys and they were dinks as teenagers from 13 to 25 or so to be honest! My 21 yr old is a little asshole most days. He looked after our house and dogs while we went on vacation and it was not a home coming we anticipated or gave the boundaries of to him before we left.
Hopefully things will smooth out soon hang in there!
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Sept 4, 2019 0:42:37 GMT
Wine..lots of it. LOL If only. I have an autoimmune liver disorder so I can't drink. At least not as much as I'd need to to make myself feel better. 😂 I’m sorry...I’ll drink some for ya lol |
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Post by Merge on Sept 4, 2019 0:48:18 GMT
I feel you!
The oldest moved out to college (still local) and we thought we'd get a break, but her younger sister - usually a sweetheart - moved in to the larger bedroom her sister had occupied and, almost overnight, developed the same attitude and sulk her sister has had for the past two years. I'm beginning to think the room is possessed. Anyone know a good exorcist?
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
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Post by brandy327 on Sept 4, 2019 1:11:41 GMT
I feel you! The oldest moved out to college (still local) and we thought we'd get a break, but her younger sister - usually a sweetheart - moved in to the larger bedroom her sister had occupied and, almost overnight, developed the same attitude and sulk her sister has had for the past two years. I'm beginning to think the room is possessed. Anyone know a good exorcist? Oh no!!! Thankfully the other dd is way more laid back and I don't usually have to worry too much about her. If she starts the same thing, I'm moving out. |
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janeliz
Drama Llama
I'm the Wiz and nobody beats me.
Posts: 5,666
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Post by janeliz on Sept 4, 2019 1:17:37 GMT
(((Hugs)))
I hear you. I’ve been getting some silent car rides lately with my moody 13 year old. Tons of fun.
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Post by jamieson on Sept 4, 2019 1:20:07 GMT
Sending my biggest hugs, Brandy!
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Post by jamieson on Sept 4, 2019 1:21:29 GMT
My DD’s high school (and MS, and college) years were a friggin’ nightmare. I damn near wanted to kill her. She is a perfectly lovely 30-something now. I not only love her, but I like her, too. That’s all I got. Good luck. I was reading this thread backwards (?!) but wanted to say thanks for this. |
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Post by maryland on Sept 4, 2019 2:55:16 GMT
I think that sounds like typical teen boy/girl behavior. No fun when you're dealing with it though. I hope things get better!
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Post by iteach3rdgrade on Sept 4, 2019 4:06:02 GMT
I am walking right there with you. But I have boys. I get nothing from them. It’s just the eye roll, with the negative voice and “I don’t want to talk about it” or “Why do you have to ask, mom just don’t ask. It doesn’t matter.” Mine talks. I get way more than I may really need at times. LOL Today he said he wanted to do online school. He's in a rough group of kids, so it stinks at times. |
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
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Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Sept 4, 2019 4:31:20 GMT
Im sorry. Its hard parenting teens, isn't it? It will get better, but for now, I suggest going and hiding. LOL LOL It is. It has some super great moments but then these huge mood swings are killer. Hiding? I've tried. She comes looking for me. You can do this. I always say that every parent (of more than one child) has one that they worry about more than the other(s). I've got one of those too. Early high school was tough and I didn't think we were going to all get through it. I was a little concerned that she wouldn't make it at college and she'd be home after the first semester. It got better over time. Definitely. By the end of high school it was much better. Time and maturity makes such a difference. We worked hard to get it across to her that we ARE on her side. When it came to college, we were relentless with the message that a good fit is crucial. Luckily she found it (it was my first choice for her, though I bit my tongue and kept that to myself), and things are really good. We had a really pleasant summer. It's hard sometimes to believe that she's the same kid-- but she is! She's still got a strong personality, and we are still who we are, but it works pretty well. I think she gets it now that we really are always here for her. She still comes looking for you, even with the mood swings. That really says something. |
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brandy327
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,353
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Post by brandy327 on Sept 4, 2019 13:00:36 GMT
LOL It is. It has some super great moments but then these huge mood swings are killer. Hiding? I've tried. She comes looking for me. You can do this. I always say that every parent (of more than one child) has one that they worry about more than the other(s). I've got one of those too. Early high school was tough and I didn't think we were going to all get through it. I was a little concerned that she wouldn't make it at college and she'd be home after the first semester. It got better over time. Definitely. By the end of high school it was much better. Time and maturity makes such a difference. We worked hard to get it across to her that we ARE on her side. When it came to college, we were relentless with the message that a good fit is crucial. Luckily she found it (it was my first choice for her, though I bit my tongue and kept that to myself), and things are really good. We had a really pleasant summer. It's hard sometimes to believe that she's the same kid-- but she is! She's still got a strong personality, and we are still who we are, but it works pretty well. I think she gets it now that we really are always here for her. She still comes looking for you, even with the mood swings. That really says something. This helps SO much. And dh repeated to her several times last night - we are on your side. And that we know she can do this... she just needs to get used to all the new stuff. She just doesn't do well with change and she's not confident at all. I'm really hoping that as she matures she can figure out ways to cope better. She was really stressed during soccer tryouts. Then again during the time before they're first game, worrying that she wasn't going to play at all. She said last night that she's not really worried about soccer now that she has their first game out of the way. But just as she went to bed last night, she said that school is just hard. We reiterated that we know it's hard... and part of that is on A days, she has 3 honors classes. All of those classes are hard and have homework. But her B days are light and fun. But she's already stressing about stuff like SAT scores and not knowing what she wants to study in college. We told her that SO many people go into college set on studying one thing and decide part way through that they want to change. And that's ok. Her mood this morning was much better. She was tired but not so negative. I'm hoping at pickup today she's in a better mood. |
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Jili
Pearl Clutcher
SLPea
Posts: 4,378
Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on Sept 4, 2019 15:40:51 GMT
You can do this. I always say that every parent (of more than one child) has one that they worry about more than the other(s). I've got one of those too. Early high school was tough and I didn't think we were going to all get through it. I was a little concerned that she wouldn't make it at college and she'd be home after the first semester. It got better over time. Definitely. By the end of high school it was much better. Time and maturity makes such a difference. We worked hard to get it across to her that we ARE on her side. When it came to college, we were relentless with the message that a good fit is crucial. Luckily she found it (it was my first choice for her, though I bit my tongue and kept that to myself), and things are really good. We had a really pleasant summer. It's hard sometimes to believe that she's the same kid-- but she is! She's still got a strong personality, and we are still who we are, but it works pretty well. I think she gets it now that we really are always here for her. She still comes looking for you, even with the mood swings. That really says something. This helps SO much. And dh repeated to her several times last night - we are on your side. And that we know she can do this... she just needs to get used to all the new stuff. She just doesn't do well with change and she's not confident at all. I'm really hoping that as she matures she can figure out ways to cope better. She was really stressed during soccer tryouts. Then again during the time before they're first game, worrying that she wasn't going to play at all. She said last night that she's not really worried about soccer now that she has their first game out of the way. But just as she went to bed last night, she said that school is just hard. We reiterated that we know it's hard... and part of that is on A days, she has 3 honors classes. All of those classes are hard and have homework. But her B days are light and fun. But she's already stressing about stuff like SAT scores and not knowing what she wants to study in college. We told her that SO many people go into college set on studying one thing and decide part way through that they want to change. And that's ok. Her mood this morning was much better. She was tired but not so negative. I'm hoping at pickup today she's in a better mood. Sounds so familiar. We said the same thing over and over-- we're always on your side. It just takes awhile to process. Would she be open to seeing a different counselor? It might be different if she finds one she really connects with. We took our dd to one and followed through with it religiously every week, then every other week, then monthly, etc. Dd really liked her for some reason. I think it helped that she was younger and very hip and cute. All those things that I am not! It was mostly individual with dd, but we would join in for the last 10 minutes or so most times. Dh and I were not all that impressed with this person and didn't think it was of much help to us-- but dd saw it differently for some reason, so we went with it. |
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
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Post by scrapngranny on Sept 4, 2019 15:50:32 GMT
I tell people who complain about the terrible twos, to just wait, those years will look like heaven compared to the teen years.
The one thing I learned is not to take their behavior personally. It’s not you, it’s them. They don’t understand their feeling any more than you do. My granddaughter is dealing with anxiety and self induced stress currently also, and it’s tough. Counseling is a help, but it is an everyday struggle for her and the rest of her family.
I have walked a mile in your shoes, and I would never want to re-live those years. I know this won’t help much, but you will get your sweet, lovable girls back someday.
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