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Post by scrapbookashlee on Oct 13, 2014 18:59:14 GMT
My good friend isn't on facebook but her boyfriend is so I sent him a friend request (at her suggestion) a few months ago and he accepted. He rarely posts anything at all but I've noticed lots of "Andrew has a new friend" posts in my feed and they are always young hot scantily clad girls. I wasn't out searching for these posts, but there are so many of them I've just noticed the trend. He also "likes" lots of their public photos, which shows in my feed. My friend is hoping she and BF will become engaged soon (they've dated 3-4 years and are both in the mid 30s).
Do I tell my friend? I guess perhaps his FB could have been been hacked (though he isn't actually posting anything spammy, just becoming friends with the girls) or MYOB?
What says the peas ....
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Post by cmpeter on Oct 13, 2014 19:07:37 GMT
I would tell her.
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Post by jameynz on Oct 13, 2014 19:10:13 GMT
why don't you log onto FB with her there so she can see for herself???
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2014 19:16:16 GMT
I would approach it with saying that you think her BF got hacked since you are used to seeing not much activity to all this "girl" activity and that it just struck you as odd and thought you'd mention it. And then let her do with that info what she will.
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Post by sunshinestate on Oct 13, 2014 19:20:41 GMT
I wouldn't get involved. What would it accomplish? Maybe you should just drop him from your newsfeed so you don't feel like you have to monitor what he's doing. If she wants to know what's on his FB page, she can easily open an account and friend him, can't she?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2014 19:32:13 GMT
MYOB, unfriend him and have done.
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loco coco
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by loco coco on Oct 13, 2014 19:34:10 GMT
i would stay out of this one
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Post by cindyupnorth on Oct 13, 2014 19:41:50 GMT
Are these girls that live in the same town? Or are these girls that just have FB pages?? ie playboy models, models, or just girls out there looking for attention. A lot of my guy friends like a hot girls FB page. They do it cuz they think she is hot. NOT because they want to hook up with her, or even have a chance. ha. It's a single guy looking at women. I mean, yes he is in a relationship, but he's not in a committed one yet, and guys can also still look. Though I am absolutely positive that NONE of the Ps boyfriends or husbands ever ever do such a thing....  |
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Post by moveablefeast on Oct 13, 2014 19:42:01 GMT
I would say "Hey listen, could I ask you about something? I saw something on Facebook this week that I wasn't sure how I felt about it, and I wondered how you felt about it. Mike has lots of friends on Facebook who post pictures in bikinis and stuff. I'm just curious how you feel about that, because I'm not sure how a person should feel about that. Can you give me some perspective?"
I have had this conversation before. It went fine. My friend was not at all upset about it and said her guy is just a guys' guy and likes tits. As long as he was faithful to her, she didn't care.
I feel differently bit I don't need to tell her that. She feels how she feels. I wouldn't feel good about it - but that's just me. Doesn't mean she shouldn't feel perfectly fine about it.
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Post by Dictionary on Oct 13, 2014 19:42:40 GMT
Um I definitely would let her know. She suggested you friend him..I would just ask her if she knew he does that. I agree with the others he can say hew was hacked but will be interesting to see how fast he unfriends you after she finds out. I would want to know that if I was her. It's not like you are going out of your way to find out. Better she finds out now before they are married and he cheats on her.
ETA - Not saying he will cheat just meaning if she is not ok with this behavior and it escalates to something she finds out after they are married. |
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Post by gar on Oct 13, 2014 19:45:58 GMT
She could sign up and look if she wanted to. I don't think you really have anything much on him and my opinion is to stay out of it.
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Post by Regina Phalange on Oct 13, 2014 21:06:30 GMT
I agree with Cindy - my husband gets friend requests from young girls with sexy pictures. They just want to up their friend count. I just told him that unless he wants to come off like an old perv, he shouldn't accept them...lol. |
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Post by anonrefugee on Oct 13, 2014 21:14:52 GMT
I's interesting she wanted you to "friend" him. Does she think something hinky is going on?
Definitely stay out of it!
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Post by Zee on Oct 13, 2014 21:18:16 GMT
Unfriend or hide him and let her do her own research if she's so inclined.
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Post by greenlegume on Oct 13, 2014 21:24:45 GMT
Unfriend or hide him and let her do her own research if she's so inclined. I think I agree with this. Now if you knew for sure that he was cheating, that might change my answer. Otherwise, I think I'd stay as far away from all of it as possible. |
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Post by Zee on Oct 13, 2014 21:29:43 GMT
If he's doing it under his own name and profile,I guess he's not trying too hard to be sneaky.
I have zero interest in embroiling myself in someone else's fb drama.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2014 21:52:11 GMT
My good friend isn't on facebook but her boyfriend is so I sent him a friend request (at her suggestion) a few months ago and he accepted. He rarely posts anything at all but I've noticed lots of "Andrew has a new friend" posts in my feed and they are always young hot scantily clad girls. I wasn't out searching for these posts, but there are so many of them I've just noticed the trend. He also "likes" lots of their public photos, which shows in my feed. My friend is hoping she and BF will become engaged soon (they've dated 3-4 years and are both in the mid 30s). Do I tell my friend? I guess perhaps his FB could have been been hacked (though he isn't actually posting anything spammy, just becoming friends with the girls) or MYOB? What says the peas .... I would have a general talk with her about how she feels about porn. Some women seem to be fine with their guy viewing whatever he wants as long is is just viewing. Other women feel differently. Then I'd decide what to do based on that conversation and finally, I'd dump him as a friend so I don't ever feel caught in the middle. As an fyi, just because you don't see him posting does not mean he rarely posts. It may mean he is good with his group management and you are in the secured group that he throws a random update to on rare occasion so you think he just doesn't post much. Since he isn't YOUR friend I'm not sure why your gf wanted you to friend him in the first place. |
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Post by myshelly on Oct 13, 2014 21:57:46 GMT
If he's doing it under his own name and profile,I guess he's not trying too hard to be sneaky. I have zero interest in embroiling myself in someone else's fb drama. That. I honestly don't think it's shady or unusual. That's just FB. He's not trying to hide it. I guess I just don't get why you think this is a big deal? Seems like nothing to me. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2014 22:00:48 GMT
If he's doing it under his own name and profile,I guess he's not trying too hard to be sneaky. I have zero interest in embroiling myself in someone else's fb drama.  ITA |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2014 22:09:11 GMT
Sitting on Z*G's bench.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2014 22:13:59 GMT
I can't get past the fact that movablefeast typed tits to provide any input.  |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2014 22:17:18 GMT
Ex my DH plays a lot of Zynga games and therefore adds all sorts of non-friend game players to his FB account. Most of them are in underwear and bras - I asked ExDH about it because my youngest said something to me about the pictures coming up in his FB. That's how I found out about who they were. COuld be as something as innocent as this. I would stay out of it at this point.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2014 22:26:32 GMT
If he's doing it under his own name and profile,I guess he's not trying too hard to be sneaky. I have zero interest in embroiling myself in someone else's fb drama. That. I honestly don't think it's shady or unusual. That's just FB. He's not trying to hide it. I guess I just don't get why you think this is a big deal? Seems like nothing to me. Agree completely. I just don't see the big deal. Who cares?? |
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Post by myshelly on Oct 13, 2014 22:30:08 GMT
And honestly from the boyfriend's perspective, if a girlfriend started getting jealous and making a big deal about who I'm FB friends with and what pics I "like" on FB, that would be a red flag to me.
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marianne
Pearl Clutcher
Not my circus, not my monkeys. . . My monkeys fly!
Posts: 4,176
Location: right smack dab in the middle of SC
Site Supporter
Jun 25, 2014 21:08:26 GMT
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Post by marianne on Oct 13, 2014 22:41:17 GMT
I think you should MYOB. You've gotten some good input here. If your friend wants to know what's going on with her boyfriend, she should check it out herself.
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Post by samcro on Oct 13, 2014 22:42:40 GMT
Mind your own business.
And I'm smh over the comment above about asking her how she feels about porn.
Girls in bikinis or scantily clad are now considered PORN?
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Post by Crazyhare on Oct 13, 2014 22:43:03 GMT
I think it's strange that she isn't on Facebook, but suggested you friend him. If she really cared what he was doing on Facebook, I think she should join and friend him and leave you out of it.
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Post by gar on Oct 13, 2014 22:44:34 GMT
My good friend isn't on facebook but her boyfriend is so I sent him a friend request (at her suggestion) a few months ago and he accepted. He rarely posts anything at all but I've noticed lots of "Andrew has a new friend" posts in my feed and they are always young hot scantily clad girls. I wasn't out searching for these posts, but there are so many of them I've just noticed the trend. He also "likes" lots of their public photos, which shows in my feed. My friend is hoping she and BF will become engaged soon (they've dated 3-4 years and are both in the mid 30s). Do I tell my friend? I guess perhaps his FB could have been been hacked (though he isn't actually posting anything spammy, just becoming friends with the girls) or MYOB? What says the peas .... I would have a general talk with her about how she feels about porn. Porn? |
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Post by walkerdill on Oct 13, 2014 23:13:39 GMT
Omg some things on here boggle my mind. This wouldn't be a blip on my radar even if it were my own SO. I would not be pleased if someone told me my boyfriend friended lots of women on Facebook.. I mean who cares? I'm not seeing the big deal.
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gottapeanow
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by gottapeanow on Oct 13, 2014 23:18:46 GMT
I have been wanting to use this saying for a while now, and this seems as good a time as any....
Not my circus. Not my monkeys.
IOW, MYOB. She can easily access FB herself to find out this info.
Lisa
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ITA
