|
Post by cmhs on Sept 14, 2019 13:11:01 GMT
At what age would you let your teen stay home alone overnight?
DH and I are going out of town overnight at the end of the month. I am debating letting DS16 stay home alone overnight. His BFF's mom said he can spend the night at their house but DS thinks he'd like to stay home alone instead.
It's a school night and I trust him not to have a wild party or do anything stupid. My biggest issue is he has a hard time waking up on his own but he assures me he'll make sure he gets up on time for school.
WWTPD?
|
|
|
Post by pierkiss on Sept 14, 2019 13:14:39 GMT
I think I was 16 when my parents started doing this with me. They wanted me to be able to drive in case something weird happened, or if my brother and I wanted to grab a bite to eat. I think that was a good plan.
|
|
hannahruth
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,612
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Aug 29, 2014 18:57:20 GMT
|
Post by hannahruth on Sept 14, 2019 13:27:09 GMT
We left our DS at probably that age, definitely no younger. He was (and still is) a very responsible person and had no worries about leaving him overnight. DD was maybe a little older as she did want to stay alone in the house and stayed with girlfriends from school if necessary. There is 6 years between DS and DD so he had left home by the time she was the age to leave. If your DS is responsible and not like to entertain the masses - especially mid week - I would leave him. He may not get up in the mornings usually but to show you how responsible he can be he will this one day! He will work it out.
|
|
|
Post by crazy4scraps on Sept 14, 2019 13:44:46 GMT
It really depends on the kid. My mom couldn’t leave one of my brothers home alone at any age because he couldn’t be trusted, but some others she could have trusted not to do anything stupid at that age.
|
|
garcia5050
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,728
Location: So. Calif.
Jun 25, 2014 23:22:29 GMT
|
Post by garcia5050 on Sept 14, 2019 13:47:41 GMT
I have a 16 year old son. I probably wouldn’t have issues leaving my kid overnight (as far as responsibility level). But, my house has been broken into more than once. So that clouds my feelings and makes me too nervous. Maybe next year for me?
|
|
|
Post by sleepingbooty on Sept 14, 2019 13:48:31 GMT
I'm a millennial and raised by a single parent. My mother had to travel for work on weekdays when I was a teen. I was home overnight alone from Sunday until Friday at least once every other week from age 14.
If your kid is responsible, knows how to do basic stuff around the house and there is a spare key safe with someone else, 16 is totally fine.
|
|
paigepea
Drama Llama
Enter your message here...
Posts: 5,609
Location: BC, Canada
Jun 26, 2014 4:28:55 GMT
|
Post by paigepea on Sept 14, 2019 13:49:51 GMT
It depends on the child. I stayed home alone by the time I was 16. My parents had a cabin they liked to go to on weekend but by 16 I often wanted to stay home because I had homework, friends , my job. When I first started staying home alone at night I’d ask a friend over. Why doesn’t your son’s BFF where he would have stayed stay over at your house instead.
|
|
|
Post by monklady123 on Sept 14, 2019 13:53:11 GMT
As everyone else will say....it totally depends on the kid. If yours can be trusted then I think 16 is fine. College or a job that will cause them to move isn't all that far away. I left my two when dd was maybe 14 and ds was 17. And dd was laid up on the couch with a twisted knee. We had to go though, it was my FIL's funeral. Of course I worried most of the time, lol...but they were fine. Of course they had each other, one wasn't totally alone. That part would depend on how nervous a kid I had. I know my dd wouldn't have liked to be all alone in the house, although I would have trusted her completely. Heck, I'm an adult and I won't go down in my basement at night when dh is traveling. But I watch "Criminal Minds" and all the cheesy horror movies....I know what goes on in basements! Anyway, yeah I'd do it if my kid was responsible. Just go over some rules, and also make sure a neighbor or two knows he's alone there.
|
|
|
Post by peano on Sept 14, 2019 13:54:11 GMT
DH and I went on a week-long business trip to San Diego and left DS alone when he was 16. I think for a certain type of kid, (like DS) giving them these experiences builds their confidence and they rise to the challenge. I also had worries about him getting to school, but there were no issues.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 2, 2024 21:04:11 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2019 13:58:22 GMT
We left our 17 and 16 years olds alone overnight over the summer. One is working. The other is not. They were fine. We hesitated on the school night because they bicker and I could see one oversleeping and ignoring his brother's demands to get up. We chose to do it over a weekend for now.
Now that the 17 year old will be 18 soon, we are discussing about doing two nights, one of which would fall on a school night. It helps that they are more into gaming than going out.
|
|
Kerri W
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,768
Location: Kentucky
Jun 25, 2014 20:31:44 GMT
|
Post by Kerri W on Sept 14, 2019 14:09:01 GMT
I think ours were 17, if I remember correctly. I didn’t have to deal with any of my kids being irresponsible. Well, there was the potential for one but her twin would have ratted her out in a nanosecond so that usually kept her in line lol! The hesitation in our household is that we don’t live near family and at the time DH and I both worked from home. We had several acquaintances but not close friends and I would have felt awkward asking somebody to be on standby in case my child needed anything. With DS2, we’re much more established in this area, and he’s very responsible, so if at 16 he said he was ok with it with no hesitation, I would leave him alone.
|
|
|
Post by freecharlie on Sept 14, 2019 14:09:45 GMT
When they can drive and feel comfortable.
But really, what is the difference between over night and parents being out until 2 or 3?
|
|
|
Post by bessieb on Sept 14, 2019 14:10:46 GMT
We happily left our son overnight at 13, looking after the animals . I think so much depends on the child, location and circumstances.
|
|
|
Post by Skellinton on Sept 14, 2019 14:45:42 GMT
Totally depends on the child. I was left home alone for weekends at 14, at 16 my mom was gone for over 2 weeks.
With my kids I joked I could have left one alone for a week as long as there were plenty of books, milk and cereal at the age of 14. The other I often said I would have to have one of my students babysit them until they were an adult. My students are 5. The one time we left them alone at 16 we disconnected the stove and had their very responsible friend stay with them. Even though it was one night we came home and I could tell something had happened in the master bedroom. I asked what had happened, apparently they had left the door open for a “second” and couldn’t find one of the cats. They panicked and tore the master bedroom apart trying to find him. Fortunately the cat is just a total momma’s boy and was just hiding out until I came home.
If you decide to leave them alone I would make sure there is an adult they would feel they can contact in case of emergency or just general panic.
|
|
|
Post by fredfreddy44 on Sept 14, 2019 16:18:30 GMT
Depends on the mature and trust level.
Our oldest we never let spend the night alone. Our youngest two, probably started at 15 and 12 and I think we let our youngest stay alone by himself when he was 14. Our parents live 15 minutes away.
Last year, our just turned 16 yo (youngest) stayed by himself while we went on a 10 day cruise. He did spend one weekend with a friend and have two dinners at my parent's house.
|
|
|
Post by worldwanderer75 on Sept 14, 2019 16:46:28 GMT
I'll be leaving my kids alone for the first time this fall. My oldest will be just shy of 17 and my daughter almost 15. My two younger kids are going to stay with a friend since the older 2 can get themselves up and to school but it would be tricky for them to get their sisters ready too. We have intentionally waited until our oldest had his license which he got this past summer.
|
|
|
Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Sept 14, 2019 16:54:16 GMT
When I was 16+ I babysat overnight or for a weekend while the Parents were away locally(within an hour or so).
My folks couldn't afford to go anywhere, so us kids being home alone for a weekend never was an option.
When I was 17(Senior in High School), once a month or so I went with a friend(she drove us in her car) out of state (2-ish hours away) to stay at her Sisters to house and pet sit for a weekend, while my Friends Sister and brother-in-law were out of town/travelling. So if the opportunity arose(funds were available), My Mom would have left us alone from 13+ and not thought twice about it.
My Mom is/was one of those "go away, leave me alone, don't bother me, I don't care what you do as long as you aren't here" kind of people. Any chance to get rid of us kids for any period of time, she always said yes....go!
|
|
scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
Posts: 4,763
Jun 25, 2014 23:21:30 GMT
|
Post by scrapngranny on Sept 14, 2019 17:11:42 GMT
25 was the best age for our teens.
|
|
|
Post by cmhs on Sept 14, 2019 17:46:23 GMT
Why doesn’t your son’s BFF where he would have stayed stay over at your house instead. I'm pretty sure BFF mom would never go for that. While she's a wonderful person, she's fairly strict and regimented in many ways (and really fun in other ways). I'd be concerned if any friend stayed over, they'd stay up too late.
|
|
|
Post by cmhs on Sept 14, 2019 18:02:50 GMT
Thanks for all the replies and helping me think it through. DS doesn't drive yet (have to be 17 in NJ) but school is a block from home and BFF and other friend's houses are within 1-2 blocks. He can do some basic cooking so he won't starve. I'm confident he'll be fine and will stick to the rules -- I don't have many. Now, to convince DH. He's not comfortable with the idea at all because he tends to worry enough for us both. freecharlie - 2-3 am? That made me LOL. We are old fuddy-duddies and DH doesn't stay up past 10:30 on weekends When my siblings and I were teens, our parents went away without us at least once or twice a year and we had some wicked parties but, nobody got hurt and nothing got broken -- just a few brain cells killed is all I'm pretty sure DS won't be as stupid as we were.
|
|
milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,421
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
Mar 18, 2015 4:10:31 GMT
|
Post by milocat on Sept 14, 2019 19:57:17 GMT
We probably left our DDs at 14 & 12, maybe a year earlier. Our in laws live 2 blocks away. They'd go there after school say hi, then go back for supper. Not that they couldn't have cooked something for themselves.
Then we stopped leaving them because we didn't want them going out totally unsupervised. Could go out to a party and not come home if we were out of town.
|
|
NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
Jun 25, 2014 21:53:42 GMT
|
Post by NoWomanNoCry on Sept 14, 2019 20:04:02 GMT
I was babysitting overnight at age 10.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
May 2, 2024 21:04:11 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 14, 2019 20:10:17 GMT
Our son doesn’t believe that WE are old wnough to stay home alone.
|
|
|
Post by iteach3rdgrade on Sept 15, 2019 1:05:18 GMT
I was that age and a friend stayed with me.
|
|
|
Post by bothmykidsrbrats on Sept 15, 2019 1:49:31 GMT
My kids were DS14 & DD10 when we left them overnight for the first time (we were 4 hours away, in good traffic.) All three of our closest neighbors knew we were gone and were available for anything the kids needed. My sister and MIL are less than 5 minutes away. They decided they wanted to stay by themselves, but my mom was prepared to come stay with them at a moments notice (10 min away), if they got scared. We ordered pizza for them before we left, and they made Mickey Mouse waffles from scratch for breakfast and quesadillas for lunch. They are 21 and 17 and still talk about spending those 24 hours together, their "what if they never come back" talk, and really realizing no matter what, they would always have each other.
|
|
|
Post by darkangel090260 on Sept 15, 2019 2:04:38 GMT
I started staying overnight every night at 12. My mom worked overnights, We knew everyone on the block and most have been family friends for longer than I was alive. So they knew the rules etc. My family had the house for about 40 years at that point.
|
|
moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,173
Location: Western Illinois
Member is Online
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
|
Post by moodyblue on Sept 15, 2019 2:24:45 GMT
When I was a young teacher I stayed overnight at another teacher's house because she was going out of town and her daughter wasn’t comfortable being alone in the house. I think her daughter was about 16 at the time, and they lived less than a block from my apartment.
I’m honestly surprised reading how young some of the kids are when staying home alone, especially when it’s more than one night.
|
|
Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,313
Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
|
Post by Country Ham on Sept 15, 2019 3:43:43 GMT
My 16 year old son has. My 14 year old daughter went to a friends. She preferred it. It was more that my son had to be at work by 7am that next day and she would of been bored home by herself all day.
I was babysitting for whole weekends by the time I was 13.
|
|
|
Post by ktdoesntscrap on Sept 16, 2019 1:43:05 GMT
I am considering leaving my 16 yearold dd home alone for 2 nights next month when I travel. I'm not worried about her going wild, or not making it to school. I'm just worried something will freak her out.
I think my niece who goes to college in our town will be on call if things go wrong.
|
|
|
Post by workingclassdog on Sept 16, 2019 1:52:17 GMT
15-16 I would say depending on the kid. I used to stay home alone overnight about that age. I had to work and they were going to a family reunion or something. I do remember being all excited about it and told some people at work. I ended up getting REALLY sick (strep) and got fired for calling in sick (they thought I was going to have a party.. ). I was sicker than a dog and calling like some huge bigwig manager and giving him a piece of my mind. I handled it all on my own. Totally got an apology phone call the next day. This was before cell phones and such. Mom was worried about me but I told her I was fine.
|
|