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Post by templatequeen on Sept 19, 2019 0:23:28 GMT
Ok, I am seeking some advice. I have a coworker who I work with 2 days a week. She drives me absolutely nuts. Shes the biggest a$$ kisser, always has to have the last work, talks non stop. It really is annoying.
I am at the point where I hate even going into work. I legit cam not stand her existence. I know it sounds awful. It's really wearing in me.
Other coworkers know how I feel and so does my boss. I just pretty much keep to myself. Do my job go home. I do have a few people to talk to. And a few other people get easily annoyed by her to.
My question is how to I let it go. Its seriously mentally exhausting. I think about it all the time, my way home, my weekends.
I am not looking to leave the company I do love my job.
Just looking for advice on how to deal with her existence... haha. Her voice.ugh
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 9:23:00 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2019 0:26:36 GMT
Ok, I am seeking some advice. I have a coworker who I work with 2 days a week. She drives me absolutely nuts. Shes the biggest a$$ kisser, always has to have the last work, talks non stop. It really is annoying. I am at the point where I hate even going into work. I legit cam not stand her existence. I know it sounds awful. It's really wearing in me. Other coworkers know how I feel and so does my boss. I just pretty much keep to myself. Do my job go home. I do have a few people to talk to. And a few other people get easily annoyed by her to. My question is how to I let it go. Its seriously mentally exhausting. I think about it all the time, my way home, my weekends. I am not looking to leave the company I do love my job. Just looking for advice on how to deal with her existence... haha. Her voice.ugh My advice was going to be avoid her but it sounds like you are. Can you wear headphones on your job to block the sound of her voice? My phone is connected to my computer so I can hear it ring with my head phones on, take them off to answer the call (or get a set with a mic) to shut out an annoyance even more. THe big thing is to not give her space in your head. |
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Post by femalebusiness on Sept 19, 2019 0:29:18 GMT
Bad me says maybe have a little fun with her and annoy her right back. Finish her sentences for her when she repeats the same things over and over, volunteer her for things because, you know, she knows every thing and is the smartest person who has ever worked here. Of course that will cause trouble but would be so much fun.  |
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samantha25
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,077 
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Post by samantha25 on Sept 19, 2019 1:13:30 GMT
I can sympathize and I know you are miserable. Maybe the head phones idea might work, for even a small break. Get a good playlist of your favorites. I dislike wearing headphones at work, but maybe if they are obvious and you point to your ears... like... la la la la alalalalala... I can't hear you, she will leave you alone.... or get small ear buds and listen to a book on tape.
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Post by nlwilkins on Sept 19, 2019 2:32:27 GMT
I think you need to learn how to tune her out. When she starts talking, just walk away or turn away and start working on something else. I know this might work cause it works on me. I am a talker and sometimes need hints and clues like this to make me realize that I need to shut up.
For your mental state I would also develop extreme politeness when dealing with her. Use it as a shield. Use a very formal and distant polite attitude towards her. Let it be your barrier between you and her and make sure you don't let her break through it. Any time she steps over, look shocked and kinds do a uppity "Excuse me?", kind of like a how dare you. A good response to questions from her would be, "I'm sure I don't know." Think of a few more and practice them when thoughts of her intrude on your time out of the office.
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Post by ~summer~ on Sept 19, 2019 2:36:45 GMT
Can you shift your hours? Can you move locations? Can you get a big plant and white noise machine? Can you transfer departments?
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pancakes
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,002
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Post by pancakes on Sept 19, 2019 3:22:24 GMT
This is not sound advice at all, but I’ve had to deal with similar, and niceties do not work here. It helps when they are proven wrong and it cuts them down a few notches. Being shamed or humiliated in front of the person they’re kissing up to can work. Being called out when they’re being egregious helps. You just have to pick your times to strike because you don’t want to seem petty. I’m a nice person but can be calculating and cold when I want to be.
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Post by annabella on Sept 19, 2019 3:40:00 GMT
Stop talking to her. It takes two people to have a conversation, if you’re uninterested she can’t rattle on.
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Post by chlerbie on Sept 19, 2019 3:53:32 GMT
I worked with someone like that and kind of did the opposite of what people are recommending. While she literally drove me batshit crazy, I went in one day and was super nice and tried my best to understand where she was coming from and who she was. Instead of listening to her prattle on about really random crap, I asked her questions about herself. When she did that, I learned about her and who she was and started liking her a little more. She stopped a lot of the nonsense talking and then it was easier just to work. We never became "friends" but the work environment improved and I was able to tolerate being around her. I was, however, relieved when she left a few months later.
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smginaz Suzy
Pearl Clutcher
Je suis desole.
Posts: 2,606
Jun 26, 2014 17:27:30 GMT
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Post by smginaz Suzy on Sept 19, 2019 3:58:57 GMT
It would help to understand your environment. Are you in an office? A hospital? Retail? Manufacturing? What is her relationship to you from a work perspective-does she assign you work? Do you have to coordinate your work with her? Is her behavior disruptive to you getting your stuff done?
You want to escalate it from the point of how it is affecting your customers. "Boss, can you provide some suggestions for me? I am focused on booping the doohickeys, and Captain America is determined to regale me with story after story of how he saved the world. Again. Although it is interesting, it is really interrupting my rhythm. I'd love some advice on the best way to give him some feedback."
That gives you a clear view of your focus-serving customers, the interference-your co-worker, and the desire to take ownership in fixing things-not complaining to your manager for them to handle it.
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,899
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Sept 19, 2019 10:21:22 GMT
Watching with interest, as next month I will be moving into a new office one shift per week with a talkative lady like this. I don't dislike her, but on the only other shift I worked with her, I had the concentrating part of the job and she had the customer-facing part, and she Did Not Stop Talking. I had already decided that if it happened again, I would say something like "I'm sorry if I'm ignoring you, but this is all a bit new to me and it needs concentration. I mustn't get it wrong." She's not stupid, and I hope she'll get the message without taking offence. I don't want it to get to the point where I hate being there, just for that.
It seems that for you, you're already at the "b1tch eating crackers" point. I'm sorry.
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Post by Fidget on Sept 19, 2019 10:54:55 GMT
Just offering my sympathy, I have no solution other than ear buds. I am in the same situation right now. My co-worker is loud and talks non stop. She is not talking to me, she is on the phone or talking to other co-workers. She goes on and on and on and on while on the phone and thinks it's ok because she's talking to other work associates. The problem is she is typically complaining about the same thing to 5 different people and the people she's complaining to can do nothing to help her. Her complaints are typically invalid and she has only been here for 6 months. She already thinks she knows it all, because "at my old job this is how we did it". STOP just STOP. Well thanks for letting me add my vent!
I will say I'm able to flex my hours so I do come in an hour earlier than her. My 1 hour in the morning is so peaceful.
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Post by thundergal on Sept 19, 2019 14:28:54 GMT
I can really relate to your situation so I want to add my sympathy.
I have a horrible relationship with my co-processor and have for years. She is horrible at her job and our manager has enabled her. I adore our manager, but as soon as she jumps my co-processor's butt about mistakes being made, co-processor just kisses her ass and the next thing you know, they are laughing and chatting and having a good old time. My co-processor knows she will never be held accountable if she just casually says she's sorry and proceeds to move on like it never happened and kiss our boss' ass.
It's maddening to listen to her getting SO much validation as a member of our team. And this has been going on for 6 years.
Anyway, I think I'm past the point of taking it home with me, thank goodness. And I really love what I do and everyone else in my office. That helps my state of mind greatly.
I hope you can devise some techniques that will be helpful to you. Hang in there.
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