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Post by pattyraindrops on Sept 26, 2019 22:33:36 GMT
If a couple doesn't register for wedding gifts and doesn't include "monetary gifts only/preferred" on the invitation what do you assume?
UPDATE: I'm in a forum group where we do surveys for a specific company brand, but we also can create threads on different topics like we do here.
Someone posted that they found out that the groom's side thought the lack of registry and the lack of what was preferred on the invitation meant the couple didn't want gifts so the couple got few gifts from that side.
With all the many invitations talked about here I had never heard of this so I had to ask. So far no one has voted for that so it is even more odd to me. So odd that I wondered what the peas would say.
Thanks everyone.
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Post by gar on Sept 26, 2019 22:36:37 GMT
I’d be confused probably, and call someone closer to them to see what they intend guests to do.
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iluvpink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,310 
Location: Michigan
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Post by iluvpink on Sept 26, 2019 22:43:21 GMT
I'd give money or gift cards unless I knew them well enough to know what they would use. I'd hate to buy something they don't need or want.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 26, 2024 15:52:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 26, 2019 22:45:49 GMT
IMO, it means the couple will be happy with whatever you gift them. I most likely would gift cash. If not, then I would think about where they are house-wise. Have they been living in a dorm room with no real personal furnishing? Or are they combining two fully function, style established households?
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Post by elaine on Sept 26, 2019 22:48:06 GMT
It really depends on the couple. If they were young, just starting out in the world, I’d give cash or a gift card. If they were older with well-establishes careers and clearly didn’t “need” anything, I’d ask what charity they would want me to contribute to in their name.
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Sept 26, 2019 22:49:57 GMT
doesn't include "monetary gifts only/preferred" on the invitation That they have manners  If it were a shower invite (where it's acceptable to mention a registry) then I'd give a gift I think they'd like along with a gift receipt. I'd assume they would be happy with anything. If it were a wedding invitation I'd gift money; that's typical around here. |
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Post by femalebusiness on Sept 26, 2019 22:51:17 GMT
I think it would be refreshing that the wedding couple let the attendees decide for themselves what to give instead of ordering them to buy specific items. Very respectful of their friends.
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Post by littlemama on Sept 26, 2019 22:53:01 GMT
Where I live, couples register for gifts for the shower and everyone gives money for the wedding.
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Post by myshelly on Sept 26, 2019 22:58:08 GMT
Where I live, couples register for gifts for the shower and everyone gives money for the wedding. Exactly this. First, are you sure they aren’t registered (as in did you ask). Maybe they’re just observing good old fashioned etiquette rules of not printing where they’re registered on the invites. If they truly aren’t registered, you take cash. No one wants a house full of knick knacks. |
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charlatan
Full Member
Posts: 319
Feb 7, 2015 3:53:07 GMT
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Post by charlatan on Sept 26, 2019 22:59:48 GMT
In my experience they would be happy with anything but they'd prefer cash.
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Post by summer on Sept 26, 2019 23:06:11 GMT
Where I live, couples register for gifts for the shower and everyone gives money for the wedding. This is what is done where I live too. I’m going to a wedding this weekend. |
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Post by monklady123 on Sept 26, 2019 23:14:12 GMT
My dh and I didn't register anywhere. I wasn't interested in collecting "place settings", and it just has always felt weird to me to specifically ask for things. No one asked us what we wanted, but maybe they asked someone else close to us like my matron of honor...? no idea. But I remember receiving some fun kitchen things, like an espresso machine, and "wedding" type things like a claddagh bowl set (dh is Irish), a lovely crystal mantel clock (that lasted for about 25 years before it died)... things like that.
I would hope that if there's no registry the guests will assume the couple will be happy with whatever the guests want to choose.
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Post by mikewozowski on Sept 26, 2019 23:40:48 GMT
i think it means they want money, but coming out and asking for money is rude. lots of young couples (even young ones with nothing) are putting out a very small registry and trying to "encourage" people to give cash.
a registry isn't a list of gifts they are demanding, in my eyes, it is a list of ideas of things they would like. i mean, you can't get them random dishes, but you can go off registry and get them something else based on the kinds of things they have registered for.
may depend on where they are in life, but nobody wants 100 - 200 gifts picked out by people who may not know their tastes at all.
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Post by lucyg on Sept 27, 2019 0:51:00 GMT
The point of a registry is to help guests choose something the bride and groom like, IF you want to. It isn’t an order of any kind. It’s supposed to make things easier for you (yes, and for them ... it’s nice to have dishes that match, rather than 7 different sets that aren’t even what they like), not make you angry. Registry information isn’t supposed to go in the invitation, either. Ask the bride’s mom or maid of honor if you want to know where she’s registered. But good lord, I truly, truly hope no one is sending out wedding invitations that say “monetary gifts only.”  I didn't vote in the poll. I have no idea what their intention is in not registering. Everyone makes their own rules now? |
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Post by SockMonkey on Sept 27, 2019 0:52:26 GMT
I don't know anyone who registers for "wedding" gifts. Shower gifts, yes.
I always give money, unless they have some other thing (like honeymoon registry).
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Post by mom2samlibby on Sept 27, 2019 1:04:04 GMT
I lurk on a wedding message board also and if they did not register for gifts, they want cash. There are often brides that ask on there how they should let their guests know that they want cash and that is the standard answer -- just don't register and your guests will get the hint that you want cash.
It is not proper etiquette to mention cash preferred on the invitation, which is why you aren't seeing that on there. It's not correct to mention gifts at all on the invite.
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Post by lisae on Sept 27, 2019 1:08:11 GMT
Is this a first wedding for both? If so, I'd say they would be happy with whatever you choose. They had their chance to make suggestions with a registry.
Particularly if both have been married before, they probably don't want gifts.
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Post by gmcwife1 on Sept 27, 2019 3:22:48 GMT
I wouldn’t assume anything, I would give cash  |
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Post by pattyraindrops on Sept 27, 2019 4:17:51 GMT
Updated in OP.
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Post by anniefb on Sept 27, 2019 6:08:45 GMT
I’d assume the couple would be happy with any gift. I’d probably get them a gift card and let them choose something, unless they were good friends and I felt confident choosing somethings.
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,668
Location: Ohio
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Post by StephDRebel on Sept 27, 2019 13:32:32 GMT
In our case, it just never occurred to us.
We were older and didn't need anything and it just never crossed our minds. We started to leave after brunch the next day and someone said "wait. Don't forget your cards" and I thought that was nice but I was speechless when some people had put money in them.
I think I just thought that wasnt really a thing when you were established. Not even on my radar.
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trollie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,580
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Post by trollie on Sept 27, 2019 13:35:47 GMT
We were young and had no money when we married. I didn't register anywhere because I wasn't comfortable with it. Honestly, if someone wanted to gift us, I was happy with whatever they decided to do.
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pancakes
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,993
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Post by pancakes on Sept 27, 2019 13:50:56 GMT
I think it would be refreshing that the wedding couple let the attendees decide for themselves what to give instead of ordering them to buy specific items. Very respectful of their friends. I actually find it somewhat disrespectful because it’s a big question mark. We could assume the best in this situation but who knows what they’re actually thinking. To me, it’s similar when someone leaves off the dress code on an event or makes one up that no one actually can decipher. You’re making your guests spend too much time worrying about something that should be straightforward. Guests shouldn’t have to guess if they have a toaster already or if XYZ gift fits their style. Most people want to give the right gift. There are so many registries these days where people can put items on the list but ultimately just get cash in the end, like Zola. I don’t know why they wouldn’t opt for something like that. |
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Post by tentoes on Sept 27, 2019 13:58:58 GMT
I like it when a couple registers and gives the attendee suggestions! It also usually helps not getting 15 or 20 of the same thing! I like buying something the couple would like. If I can't find anything on the list that I like, I give money.
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Post by femalebusiness on Sept 27, 2019 14:45:32 GMT
I think it would be refreshing that the wedding couple let the attendees decide for themselves what to give instead of ordering them to buy specific items. Very respectful of their friends. I actually find it somewhat disrespectful because it’s a big question mark. We could assume the best in this situation but who knows what they’re actually thinking. To me, it’s similar when someone leaves off the dress code on an event or makes one up that no one actually can decipher. You’re making your guests spend too much time worrying about something that should be straightforward. Guests shouldn’t have to guess if they have a toaster already or if XYZ gift fits their style. Most people want to give the right gift. There are so many registries these days where people can put items on the list but ultimately just get cash in the end, like Zola. I don’t know why they wouldn’t opt for something like that. I get that. Some people need direction to feel comfortable in social situations. |
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Post by mayceesgranny on Sept 27, 2019 14:59:42 GMT
I generally always give cash as a wedding gift, so I wouldn't even notice.
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Post by tuva42 on Sept 27, 2019 15:08:34 GMT
I went to a wedding like that this weekend. Couple was older, first marriage for the man, the woman had 2 middle school-aged kids. They didn't register anywhere. My husband got them a gift card to their favorite restaurant and I made them a wood burned cutting board with their names and date.
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Post by hockeyfan06 on Sept 27, 2019 15:13:59 GMT
I ALWAYS give haroshi, moolah, cheddar, insert your favorite slang for good old fashion cash money.  |
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Deleted
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Jun 26, 2024 15:52:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Sept 27, 2019 16:16:31 GMT
I did not register for wedding gifts. Not intentionally rude. Just trying to keep peace with my mom who insisted that there was no need to because no one was going to give me wedding gifts. I think she must have been shocked when the church ladies had a bridal shower and people actually came to my wedding and brought gifts.
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scrappyesq
Pearl Clutcher
You have always been a part of the heist. You're only mad now because you don't like your cut.
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Post by scrappyesq on Sept 27, 2019 18:53:05 GMT
But good lord, I truly, truly hope no one is sending out wedding invitations that say “monetary gifts only.”
I've seen that. Not worded exactly that way but something along the lines of in lieu of gifts cash/ gift cards are acceptable (wording I've also seen in baby shower and house warming invitations).
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