peppermintpatty
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1345
Posts: 3,947 
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Post by peppermintpatty on Oct 10, 2019 13:00:49 GMT
Sorry if this gets long...
I became a Christian in 2011 when I was at the lowest point I have ever been in my life. A friend brought me to know Christ and helped me somewhat in finding a church. She moved away shortly after she helped me and I was kind of left to my own devices. That's okay, everyone's journey is different. That being said, I am an introvert (who wants to be an extrovert) and have always had problems making really good friends (I have a few but I don't have that huge group of friends that many do). Now on to the story..
I belonged to a church where I was baptized and was a part of a great small group. Took classes, met more people, felt like I was becoming part of something....until the church decided to change how they do small groups. This was in order to break up the cliques that were forming. I get it, fine. However, don't mess with my small group! They changed the every other week to every week. Nope, can't do that because of other obligations. The small group leader, who is a friend, said not to worry about it and just come when I could. Well, I totally lost focus because I couldn't keep up with it every week and then I felt like I was missing a lot because I wasn't there every week. Not to mention the new members we would get every 10 weeks. There were instances of new members completely monopolizing the meetings like their own therapy session. While the leader tried to control it, it didn't work. So she stopped being a leader and I had to find another group. I jumped from group to group but never felt like I fit in because either I hated the study or they were so tight that I couldn't wiggle my way in. I wasn't comfortable with that so I gave up.
Next problem, the church has gotten too big. 3 services on Sunday. The church is very cliquey and after the service everyone would scatter and find their friends. I would walk out of the church and sit in my car and cry. I never felt so completely alone. I asked myself why I would put myself through this every week? Eventually I stopped going.
Another issue all along is I wanted to get more involved. Requested info on serving on more than one occasion. The connection pastor contacted me once. I couldn't do the "training" session because my son had a karate belt test. Never heard from her again. Even my other requests went unanswered.
What really hurt is those whom I thought were my friends never even realized I stopped going. Really? I feel like I am high school all over again!
I spoke to 4 people in leadership roles without going into a lot of detail. The first was the lead pastor. He sent me an email asking if I would like to discuss this further. I responded yes (back in February) but then crickets. No response until about a week ago when he apologized and said he would put me at the front of the line if I wanted to discuss it further! The second was the head of the middle school ministry. She asked if she could have someone contact me to discuss it further...crickets. The third was the wife of the creative arts pastor. Again, she asked if she could tell others about my situation and get back to me...you guessed it....crickets. The fourth was the executive pastor. I told her through FB messenger generally what was going on. Her response was a thumbs up....WTF?
I decided to respond to the lead pastor and tell him everything in an email. Guess what.....crickets!
I even did a cryptic hair flip on FB and my old small group leader contacted me to get together. I couldn't do the day she wanted (it was the next morning) and said I would like to find another time....drumroll please...crickets.
I know I need to find another church as I feel incredibly lost but looking by myself is so hard. It's just easier to stay home and deal with the hole in my heart than to put myself out there and be rejected over and over.
Thanks for listening.
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Post by disneypal on Oct 10, 2019 13:22:28 GMT
As you said, it does sound like you need to find another church - this one doesn't seem like it is a good fit for you any more - perhaps you will do better in a smaller church setting.
I know what you mean though, it took me 3 years to find a church - I visited so many, some multi times before I found the right one. It was interesting though, as soon as I walked in the door and sat down I felt like "This is the the one" even before I met anyone, maybe it was a little nudge from God telling me that. Then after the service, a couple invited me to their Sunday school class and I've now been there 17 years (sometimes I can't believe it has been that long!)
Like you, I did church shopping by myself and it is hard but the rewards are worth it. Don't give up. Pray about it, ask God to guide you to the church that is right for you.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,891
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Oct 10, 2019 13:32:22 GMT
It sounds to me like you'd do better in a smaller, intimate church environment rather than one of these "huge, have a million things going on and are too busy to really care about individual members" places.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Oct 6, 2024 11:27:03 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 10, 2019 13:36:31 GMT
I agree with the advice already given about a smaller, intimate church. This has happened to me as well over the years and it takes a while to find a "good fit"...good luck. Sadly this does not just happen with churches..it happens in any type of organization  |
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Post by Basket1lady on Oct 10, 2019 13:37:25 GMT
I agree—this is not the church for you. Shame on these leaders. We are all busy—it doesn’t take much to get back to someone asking for help! As hard as it is, you need to shop for a new church. We do this every time we move (military family).
Basically, we make a list of the churches in the area that are of our faith (Roman Catholic for us). Then we visit them. We look for mass times that fit in with our life, how friendly the congregation is, how was the sermon, the parking, the programs offered... when our kids were young, we considered youth programs in the mix. We would narrow down to a parish or two, then visit again. I found that I could figure out what works for us in a very short amount of time.
And realize that even within the same denomination there are great variances. Even among Catholic churches. You have your parishes focused on church law, on ministry, on youth programs, etc.
Then I volunteer for a ministry. IMO, the best way to get to know a church and it’s people is to volunteer. To begin with, I chose a short term commitment—a one time event or once a year event. At this time of year, you could look for an angle tree committee, a Christmas event, a baby bottles drive (we send out empty bottles and parishioners fill them with spare change), a soup kitchen, a food pantry (those last two aren’t one and done events, but in our church they are open door volunteering opportunities). Sometimes you will find a great niche that you can fill, other times you are on a committee with a nutter whom no one else wants to work with!
I really believe that your church is out there. And it’s waiting for you. I encourage you to take that leap of faith and find it.
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Post by workingclassdog on Oct 10, 2019 13:43:14 GMT
It is so hard.. I found myself not liking my small church because of so much drama... they know when you are there and when you are not. Then the questions where were you last week and stuff like that. I volunteered to watch the babies, help cook Thanksgiving, attend Sunday School, all kinds of stuff. Then it got weird. And more drama and I felt like an outsider.
It took me a few years to find a place.. funny enough I go to a HUGE church now. I like no one knows me really.. I can pray, listen to the sermon, listen to the music and do my thing. I don't volunteer for anything (burnt out).. I go to church (sometimes I meet up with some friends, but normally not often).. and do what I want to do and feel much better. Much better than before.
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Post by LisaDV on Oct 10, 2019 13:46:03 GMT
I'm so sorry you have experienced this. Hugs. I do believe it is time to find another church. Maybe a smaller church that does Bible class in between services or just has one service and a Bible class would be a better fit for you. (as others have said)
Don't commit to one until you have been several times. When we've moved (which we've done quite a bit) we always look at that denominations churches that our closest to us. During one moved we found one of "our" churches and bought our house based on its location. But by the 3rd time visiting it, we were like we cannot attend this church. We spent a few months searching out a new church. We did not stay in our denomination. We pray that we will be led to the ideal church for us. We're currently searching for a new church at our new house. Due to the distance and our dd travel sickness, we probably won't stay within our denomination at this house either.
Just remember that people are sinful by nature otherwise we wouldn't need God's saving grace. This said to say that the problem of cliques and high school drama can affect small and large churches alike due to human nature.
I'm an introvert too so it takes me a while to get to know people so I can completely empathize with you on change up to the small group. Big hugs to you.
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peppermintpatty
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1345
Posts: 3,947
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Post by peppermintpatty on Oct 10, 2019 14:00:36 GMT
Thank you to everyone for your kind words!
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J u l e e
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,531
Location: Cincinnati
Jun 28, 2014 2:50:47 GMT
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Post by J u l e e on Oct 10, 2019 14:01:39 GMT
Churches are a mess. Really. They're made up of people. And people are messy. Some churches do this better than other churches, but I haven't been to a perfect one yet.
However, I'm sorry for what you've experienced. I'm glad you still want to try again.
I wonder if there is anyone from that last group you felt comfortable with who feels the same way after the new changes to groups and weekly scheduling? The group of people you land with doesn't necessarily have to be church sponsored. You can grab some like minded people from your church and create your own group. I have a group of friends that I do "bible study" with outside of church (I put that in quotes because sometimes we read a book together, sometimes we just meet to pray as a group, and sometimes we just go to breakfast!) We meet regularly though, so we stay a group, but it's what we make of it.
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peppermintpatty
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1345
Posts: 3,947
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Post by peppermintpatty on Oct 10, 2019 14:01:52 GMT
I'm so sorry you have experienced this. Hugs. I do believe it is time to find another church. Maybe a smaller church that does Bible class in between services or just has one service and a Bible class would be a better fit for you. (as others have said) Don't commit to one until you have been several times. When we've moved (which we've done quite a bit) we always look at that denominations churches that our closest to us. During one moved we found one of "our" churches and bought our house based on its location. But by the 3rd time visiting it, we were like we cannot attend this church. We spent a few months searching out a new church. We did not stay in our denomination. We pray that we will be led to the ideal church for us. We're currently searching for a new church at our new house. Due to the distance and our dd travel sickness, we probably won't stay within our denomination at this house either. Just remember that people are sinful by nature otherwise we wouldn't need God's saving grace. This said to say that the problem of cliques and high school drama can affect small and large churches alike due to human nature. I'm an introvert too so it takes me a while to get to know people so I can completely empathize with you on change up to the small group. Big hugs to you. I totally know what you mean. I went to a church 3 times and thought it was a great fit. The fourth visit was so over the top and against everything I believe that I got up in the middle and walked out. |
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Post by mom on Oct 10, 2019 14:05:25 GMT
I agree with the others. You need to find a small church. I'd start by looking at various churches social media. Then pick a random Sunday and try them out.
II am curious though - what do you expect them to tell you about you not being happy in your small group? About not liking that there are 3 Sunday services? Also? Were you specific with your small group leader on what alternate date you'd like to get together? If someone told me that they couldn't meet when I asked but didn't offer another day, I would most likely assume they really didnt want to meet with me and were trying to be nice.
I am not saying all these things are you fault. There are obviously communication issues going on. But I also know there is only so much that they can do for you.
I hope you are able to find a better fit church for you. No church will be perfect, but there is one out there that is probably a better fit.
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Post by mustlovecats on Oct 10, 2019 14:08:41 GMT
I have felt this way at times also. I go to a large church that doesn’t create a lot of connection points and it’s hard sometimes.
I am trying a couple of other churches right now to see if I might find some connections. Do you have any neighbors or friends who go other places?
I just want to say that I’m sorry you feel so sad as to cry after church and I hope you can find people who you connect with.
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Post by nlwilkins on Oct 10, 2019 14:46:04 GMT
I am so sorry you have experienced this. It really hurts when you reach out for help and get crickets in return.
For me the answer is not to go to church which is a not a good solution. In the past I have looked at the people around me and the ones that impress me with how they live and apply their beliefs to their daily lives are the ones who I want to know where they go to church. Because, obviously their church is doing something right.
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Post by Sparki on Oct 10, 2019 15:03:31 GMT
I am an extrovert, and still have the problems you are describing. So, I don't go to church. I've gotten a little burned out on churches right now.
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Post by snowsilver on Oct 10, 2019 15:07:11 GMT
I hope I can say what I want to say without hurting you more. My heart goes out to you and I'm so sorry you have experienced what you have. But PLEASE when searching for a church, search for a church that teaches God's message. Not for a social club. That is not what a church is supposed to be all about. Search for a God-focused church and forget about the people. Like J u l e e said, people are "messy". They all--and I mean all-have their own problems. They (we) make mistakes. We are unkind. We are thoughtless. Usually we don't mean to be, but that's how it is. God is none of those things and He will never forsake you. He loves you as though you were the only person on His earth, and He completely understands your hurt. Just go to worship Him and thank Him for his goodness. Find a church that is Bible based and try to learn more and more about Him. Forgive those who aren't as kind as they should be--God forgives them AND you when you, too, may slip and not be all that you wish you were. I agree that for you a smaller church might be just what works. And yes, there will be drama. Please understand that and remember that just because we Christians are attempting to be like our God, we fail miserably far too often. But God forgives and loves us. And He loves you more than you can ever even imagine. Don't focus on the people; focus on the Master. I'll be praying for you.
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Post by Patter on Oct 10, 2019 16:16:45 GMT
As a connection staff member of my church, I ache for you! I am SO sorry. As J u l e e said, churches are made up of people. People are messy, and we all have our faults/sins but I am SO sad you have reached out multiple, multiple times only to hear crickets. I never like to direct people to other churches; however, in your case, it sounds like your walk with Christ could be helped by being at a different place of worship. If you would like ideas on what to look for when visiting a church as far as connections go, let me know. I would be happy to talk to you. Also, have you thought about joining Bible Study Fellowship (BSF)? I cannot say enough things about BSF. I went for about 15 years. My girls started at the age of 3 1/2 in BSF. One of my girls' schedule allows her to even go as adult now. It is awesome. Anyway, please let me know how I can help from afar. Praying God directs you to the place where He wants you so that you can thrive! Hugs! |
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Post by monklady123 on Oct 10, 2019 16:44:13 GMT
I agree with the advice to find a smaller church. Although...I am biased since that's what I prefer. lol. And certainly a smaller church can also be cliquey and full of unfriendly people. That's why you'll need to look around for awhile. You didn't say if you were baptized in a denominational church... But you might look around for one. Baptism is baptism (as long as it was done with the trinitarian formula) so it won't matter to them that you weren't baptized in their denomination. If you consider yourself a liberal then you might take a look at a Presbyterian More Light church, or the Methodist/Lutheran/Episcopalian counterparts. At my church we have quite a few same-gender couples and they know from personal experience how it is to be rejected. So probably because of that I find them to be among the most welcoming people. Also, a smaller church is less likely to have small groups and more likely to do things all together as a church. We have monthly get-togethers -- "Beer and Hymns" (where we play "try to stump the music minister as we call out hymns we'd like to sing...then we eat dinner together), and "Pizza and Game Night", and "Night at the Movies" (dinner also), and "Soup and Singing" (the pastor brings his guitar and we sing anything he can play -- he has a huge repertoire so we sing a lot of different things)... and a few others. lol. These are community-building get-togethers, and are purely for fun. It brings a different energy into the things we do as a church for social service and justice -- working at the food pantry, protests in DC, our immigration workshops, etc. I always wish that everyone could find a church like mine.  |
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pancakes
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,002
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Post by pancakes on Oct 10, 2019 17:43:33 GMT
Ugh, so sorry this happened to you. I became a Christian in 2010 and ended up really loving the first church I went to. I think we would probably like the same churches, ha.
I can't offer any different advice than what's already been said, except: Definitely seek out another church, but DO consider different but similar denominations if you can't find one that you like in your denomination.
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Post by Patter on Oct 10, 2019 18:46:12 GMT
Ugh, so sorry this happened to you. I became a Christian in 2010 and ended up really loving the first church I went to. I think we would probably like the same churches, ha. I can't offer any different advice than what's already been said, except: Definitely seek out another church, but DO consider different but similar denominations if you can't find one that you like in your denomination. I was baptized in a Methodist church and for a while our family went to a Methodist church. However, when we moved here, we visited UCC, Methodist, Baptist, etc. We just wanted a church that taught from the Bible and taught about Christ. We didn't always see that in some churches where we had been. We LOVE our church now, and I pray you can find a church that you love too! |
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Post by destined2bmom on Oct 10, 2019 21:12:02 GMT
I am sorry that you have had such a rough time. I have been in your shoes. I never found a church in CA that I felt was home. I did attend services and did Bible studies but never felt the deep connection to the members.
When we moved 3 years ago, we tried different churches and gave up. After Easter, this year, my childhood friend and her daughter came down to visit for a weekend. They wanted to go to a certain denomination church and asked me to go along with them.
I walked in and found my home church. I looked at it from the point that God was guiding me. This was so I could have a deeper relationship with him. Maybe he is doing the same for you. Look at this as a blessing. You will find your church. It may not be today or tomorrow but you will find it.
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Post by scrapqueen01 on Oct 11, 2019 0:52:56 GMT
Have you thought about home churches? Do you live in an area that might have these? Churches don't have to be brick and mortar buildings.
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Post by hop2 on Oct 11, 2019 1:10:36 GMT
The church is very cliquey and after the service everyone would scatter and find their friends. I would walk out of the church and sit in my car and cry. I never felt so completely alone. This is why I pretty much gave up on organized religion. It seems to happen at so many churches eventually. People just going thru the motions with so little actual fellowship 2 things you can do Try finding a smaller bible study Try to find if there is something like a Christian women’s association or other multi denominational group in your area and cultivate friends from multiple parishes/churches. One of the most spiritual times in my life I was attending different functions at different denominational churches with different friends ( none of them the church I actually ‘belonged’ to ) it was very enriching spiritually ( disclaimer this was quite some time ago when I was in college so things might be different now I don’t know. ) ( My other very spiritual period of worship was at Temple but that’s probably not your route lol ) But I find my connection to the priest/Pastor/Rabbi can really make or break what I get from worshipping with organized religions. I’m fine walking my walk with god by myself until I find the next house of worship that fulfills me rather than drain me. I hope you find your spiritual home. Worshipping shouldn’t make you cry. Worshipping should fulfill you, lift you up, and make you feel more peaceful. Good luck |
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Post by Outspoken on Oct 11, 2019 1:44:07 GMT
Oh, boy! Can I relate! I am sorry you are experiencing this. My family moved a few years ago and at the time we had 2 middle schoolers. We visited so many churches, I became numb and withdrawn. We did finally find a church that had great adult small groups, but our kids suffered due to lack of youth programs and kid cliques. Broke my heart. And still does.
You do need to find a new church. And, don’t think it will be easy. Remember that satan is thrilled that you are struggling and will use this journey to invade your life. Every day, you have to say NOT TODAY, SATAN! I know you can do this! You have been equipped to fight this battle with the armor God has provided. You’ve got this! Come here when you need encouragement or to vent!
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peppermintpatty
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1345
Posts: 3,947
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Post by peppermintpatty on Oct 11, 2019 12:07:03 GMT
I agree with the others. You need to find a small church. I'd start by looking at various churches social media. Then pick a random Sunday and try them out. II am curious though - what do you expect them to tell you about you not being happy in your small group? About not liking that there are 3 Sunday services? Also? Were you specific with your small group leader on what alternate date you'd like to get together? If someone told me that they couldn't meet when I asked but didn't offer another day, I would most likely assume they really didnt want to meet with me and were trying to be nice. I am not saying all these things are you fault. There are obviously communication issues going on. But I also know there is only so much that they can do for you. I hope you are able to find a better fit church for you. No church will be perfect, but there is one out there that is probably a better fit. I was happy with my small group until they changed the formats. I was not the only one unhappy with this move and it is a common move for churches around here. Others have their church going to this format and none I spoke to were happy about it.
I didn't say I didn't like the 3 services. It was a statement of fact to show how big the church is. The fact that you can go to a service and not really know anyone there because they could be at one of the other services.
As for getting together with the leader, she has said over and over she would like to meet up. She and her dh don't have kids and travel a lot as well as are always out with friends for dinner. I'm not faulting her for not getting together with me BUT she has repeatedly said she wants to get together but never follows through. I'm not initiating this. She is.
It does sound like you are putting a lot of this on me.
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peppermintpatty
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1345
Posts: 3,947
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Post by peppermintpatty on Oct 11, 2019 12:10:56 GMT
I hope I can say what I want to say without hurting you more. My heart goes out to you and I'm so sorry you have experienced what you have. But PLEASE when searching for a church, search for a church that teaches God's message. Not for a social club. That is not what a church is supposed to be all about. Search for a God-focused church and forget about the people. Like J u l e e said, people are "messy". They all--and I mean all-have their own problems. They (we) make mistakes. We are unkind. We are thoughtless. Usually we don't mean to be, but that's how it is. God is none of those things and He will never forsake you. He loves you as though you were the only person on His earth, and He completely understands your hurt. Just go to worship Him and thank Him for his goodness. Find a church that is Bible based and try to learn more and more about Him. Forgive those who aren't as kind as they should be--God forgives them AND you when you, too, may slip and not be all that you wish you were. I agree that for you a smaller church might be just what works. And yes, there will be drama. Please understand that and remember that just because we Christians are attempting to be like our God, we fail miserably far too often. But God forgives and loves us. And He loves you more than you can ever even imagine. Don't focus on the people; focus on the Master. I'll be praying for you. Thank you. I don't want church to be a social outlet. I am more interested in the message (which is another issue I am having with that church) but I spent most of my life feeling like I didn't belong to anyone group of people and the people I thought were my friends would hurt me in unimaginable ways. I thought I found a place where I could open up and be welcomed. Sunday after Sunday I began to not feel welcome anymore. As much as I would like to find a God-Focused church, community plays a HUGE part in my faith. |
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 11:27:03 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2019 12:39:04 GMT
I have the same problem. I cant change churches because of circumstances with DH
I've found a place where I feel at home and accepted at Community Bible study. There are lots of them all over the world.
They are not associated with a church or denomination, but they meet in a church
You might check and see if there is 1 near you. If there is, look on the web site for a "visitors day" to check them out. It is the high light of my week
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Post by Patter on Oct 11, 2019 13:33:20 GMT
I have the same problem. I cant change churches because of circumstances with DH I've found a place where I feel at home and accepted at Community Bible study. There are lots of them all over the world. They are not associated with a church or denomination, but they meet in a church You might check and see if there is 1 near you. If there is, look on the web site for a "visitors day" to check them out. It is the high light of my week I went to CBS one year. It is a "spin-off" from BSF. It was started by a BSF person. Anyway, it's great and very much the sam format as BSF. Either is great! While I love them, having a church for me is also important but I did get more "meat" so to speak from BSF/CBS. It's what grew my faith and understanding the most. |
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Post by mom on Oct 11, 2019 14:21:54 GMT
I agree with the others. You need to find a small church. I'd start by looking at various churches social media. Then pick a random Sunday and try them out. II am curious though - what do you expect them to tell you about you not being happy in your small group? About not liking that there are 3 Sunday services? Also? Were you specific with your small group leader on what alternate date you'd like to get together? If someone told me that they couldn't meet when I asked but didn't offer another day, I would most likely assume they really didnt want to meet with me and were trying to be nice. I am not saying all these things are you fault. There are obviously communication issues going on. But I also know there is only so much that they can do for you. I hope you are able to find a better fit church for you. No church will be perfect, but there is one out there that is probably a better fit. I was happy with my small group until they changed the formats. I was not the only one unhappy with this move and it is a common move for churches around here. Others have their church going to this format and none I spoke to were happy about it.
I didn't say I didn't like the 3 services. It was a statement of fact to show how big the church is. The fact that you can go to a service and not really know anyone there because they could be at one of the other services.
As for getting together with the leader, she has said over and over she would like to meet up. She and her dh don't have kids and travel a lot as well as are always out with friends for dinner. I'm not faulting her for not getting together with me BUT she has repeatedly said she wants to get together but never follows through. I'm not initiating this. She is.
It does sound like you are putting a lot of this on me.
I truly did not want to to feel like I was blaming you. I was trying to see what you truly expected them to do to make things better for you. Did you expect them to change small group meeting times? I have been on both sides of issues like this - as a member who was unhappy and as a small group leader in a Mega Church. Being a leader in a huge church is so incredibly hard. After being a leader for 5 years, I ended up walking away from my church because of the toll it took on me. So many decisions were out of my hands and yet I was expected to listen, daily, to the members who weren't happy but my hands were tied about what I could do. I had to come to the realization that because Church is a very personal experience, people wanted it to be exactly what they wanted it to be vs. what was good for the continued growth and health of the church. I will also admit that *I* was part of the problem, though I did not realize it at first. I wasn't in a great place mentally - and now I know that I was on the verge of a depression. So in my mind, its was the Church who was leaving me, but now I know the reality was it was a combination of me not being happy (in general) and the Church not meeting my probably not realistic expectations. When you listed the '3 services' as the next problem, I took that to mean you didn't like the three services. 🤷♀️ My Church has 3 Sunday services and I found that yes, it can be hard to regularly see the same people each week, but it also gives me a chance to meet even more people. We (almost) always sit in the same section (not always same seat) but after awhile people get to know you. For me, I've learned to reach out to those around me. Compliment them on something (their dress, their kids, etc) and those small conversations grow into friendships over time. There is no doubt that your Church has let you down communication wise. As was said earlier, people are human and mess up daily. While I am sure it was not intended to be a personal slight to you - and most likely a result of too much work to do and not enough time/people/resources to get it all done. None the less, if you aren't getting what you want/need out of church, then its time to look around. I remember something my friend told me when I told her I was leaving my Church - it has stuck with me and also helped me keep things in perspective. She said 'Churches are like men. A lot of them look good but aren't right for you. But even when you find the 'right one' there will always be something that irritates you (just like with your husband). No Church is perfect. Find one with 'flaws' that you can live with, that doesn't change on its core values and teachings.' I've always kept that in the back of my mind when things pop up that I don't like. I really hope you are a able to find a smaller church that is a better fit for you. Everyone deserves to have a Church home that can meet their needs. |
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