Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 15:21:39 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2019 17:29:20 GMT
Is this right after the service? If so, it doesn’t sound like there is time for people to grab dinner before coming to your house and I would feel obligated to serve food. I’d probably do a tray of sandwiches, a salad of some sort, chips and cookies. Its before the service (days before). We are all getting together with the minister of grandma's church. She has been a member of this church for years, but the pastor who will do her service, is new and doesn't really know her. The minister asked to get together with the entire family so he could get a sense of what grandma was like, her favorite verses, etc.
In that case, perhaps just some cookies and coffee/tea/water. I wouldn't do anything more than that.
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Post by katlaw on Nov 13, 2019 17:31:07 GMT
Since this is at meal time I would make a pot of soup. Put out some lunch meats, buns, sandwich toppings. People can help themselves to soup and make a sandwich. Add a vegetable tray with dip and a tray or brownies or a simple dessert. Make a pot of coffee and have some cold drinks. I would also make sure I chose items my own family would be happy to eat the next day in case no one eats.
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Post by stingfan on Nov 13, 2019 19:21:32 GMT
I'm in the no food camp. I'm thinking that if this meeting were being held in the minister's office or at the church, he wouldn't be serving food. Why should you serve food just because of the location?
If you feel like you have to do something, a plate of cookies and some water bottles should be plenty.
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Post by dewryce on Nov 13, 2019 19:41:41 GMT
To me, that’s dinnertime, and family is in town. As a host, I would want to feed them. It may only take the 30 minutes, it may go longer. I can’t imagine family coming over en masses at a time like this and not staying to chat after. Is this the first time the whole group will be gathering? If so, that would make me think it was more likely people would stay longer.
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Post by dewryce on Nov 13, 2019 19:43:42 GMT
I'm in the no food camp. I'm thinking that if this meeting were being held in the minister's office or at the church, he wouldn't be serving food. Why should you serve food just because of the location? If you feel like you have to do something, a plate of cookies and some water bottles should be plenty. I would serve food because they’re family, it’s dinner time, and they’re at my house.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Nov 13, 2019 21:22:59 GMT
I would just do something simple like cookies or bars and a beverage. I think most people would have ate dinner by then. Not necessarily. We usually eat dinner around six, so if we had to be somewhere at 6:30 and there was any amount of travel time, we wouldn’t have eaten yet because we wouldn’t have had time beforehand unless we stopped for fast food on the way. My vote would be for a veggie tray plus a deli meat and cheese tray with an assortment of crackers, plus some nonalcoholic beverages (water, soda,coffee) and maybe some cookies. Just enough to stave off starvation if people haven’t yet eaten, but not enough to really camp out and make a meal of it.
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Post by crazy4scraps on Nov 13, 2019 21:25:14 GMT
I'm in the no food camp. I'm thinking that if this meeting were being held in the minister's office or at the church, he wouldn't be serving food. Why should you serve food just because of the location? If you feel like you have to do something, a plate of cookies and some water bottles should be plenty. I would serve food because they’re family, it’s dinner time, and they’re at my house. This is how I feel too. We would serve something in an effort to be a good host. No one ever leaves our house hungry.
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 15:21:39 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2019 22:50:43 GMT
I'd have food and beverages available, probably buffet-style and things that, if leftover, your family will eat or can freeze.
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gina
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,305
Jun 26, 2014 1:59:16 GMT
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Post by gina on Nov 13, 2019 23:15:01 GMT
A meeting at 6:30/7 would seem like after dinner time to me (even if I sometimes eat late myself). I would not expect dinner. I would put out coffee, tea and a tray of cookies.
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 15:21:39 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2019 0:24:58 GMT
There absolutely must be food—coffee, coffee cake, cocoa and doughnuts at least.
It gives your guests something to do with their hands. Food avoids awkwardness.
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Post by mollycoddle on Nov 14, 2019 0:43:08 GMT
It seems like normal dinner time to me. I hate to say it, but it seems like maybe you ought to offer something (simple!) resembling dinner. A pot of chili, maybe? Chili, cornbread and salad. Easy peasy.
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Post by silverlining on Nov 14, 2019 2:46:06 GMT
I would serve food because it's dinner time and even though the family dynamics might be strange, they are family who have experienced a loss and are away from home. Maybe this reflects my own lack of confidence, but even if I don't know or like people, I want them to have a good impression of me, and a good experience in my home.
I would let them know that you will have snacks there, or dinner food, or dessert, so they can plan accordingly. And plan stuff you like, cause you might have lots of leftovers:)
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Post by scrapmaven on Nov 14, 2019 2:58:11 GMT
I would serve beverages and appetizers. I'm so sorry for your loss. May your dh's grandmother's memory be for a blessing to all who knew her.
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Gennifer
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,168
Jun 26, 2014 8:22:26 GMT
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Post by Gennifer on Nov 14, 2019 5:53:45 GMT
Yay for friends! How is your FIL doing? What a nightmare, on top of planning a funeral!
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Deleted
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Oct 6, 2024 15:21:39 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2019 6:57:46 GMT
I find that people during times like this are like cats, if you feed them they will stay and then you end up taking care of them instead of family.
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Post by mom on Nov 14, 2019 7:07:04 GMT
Yay for friends! How is your FIL doing? What a nightmare, on top of planning a funeral! FIL is ok. He has critically high potassium and critically low hemoglobin, and is retaining water in his legs. It was kinda weird. He had to have some blood work done before his eye dr would do surgery on his eyes and they found all this when they did the blood work. They wouldn't even let DH's mom drive him to the hospital - he went from the Dr's office where he got his results straight to ICU via ambulance. DH's dad says he feels fine....but his legs are huge now. He was in ICU back in Feb for similar things and they never could figure out what the problem was.
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Post by Basket1lady on Nov 14, 2019 7:42:43 GMT
Hurray for friends and healing thoughts for your FIL. That’s a lot for one week.
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Post by peano on Nov 14, 2019 14:00:52 GMT
Wow, you've got a lot on your plate right now. I'm glad you have such nice friends and found a workable plan.
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Post by katlaw on Nov 14, 2019 15:02:56 GMT
Update - thanks for everyone chiming in. I knew deep down I needed to serve food. I just really don't have confidence in my cooking ability. BUT my close circle of girlfriends asked what they could do and they are great at this kind of thing. So I told them to handle it! Yay for friends you can boss around, lol! (actually they didn't mind at all & know I struggle in this area). So they are going to make some finger foods, some cookies, etc. I just have to pick up the beverages. I can handle that. This is perfect. Because good friends really do want to help in situations like this. I would gladly do something like this for a friend in a similar situation.
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