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Post by ~Zoey~ on Nov 20, 2014 14:14:49 GMT
My son and I will be having a very small T-giving this year, which is fine, but for the past 3 years I've gone to my friend's house to celebrate the holiday with her, her family and a mutual friend and her son. My son (who turns 24 today! Time flies by!!) went with me last year and to be honest, was a bit of a wet blanket. He is quite introverted and it's worse around people he hasn't met or doesn't know that well. Fast forward to this year and my friend's daughter is hosting. My friend, her daughter and I were hanging out a few weeks ago and her daughter asked me about Thanksgiving and when I said I didn't know what we were doing, she invited my son and me. My friend had the look of a proverbial deer in the headlights and I knew right away that something was amiss.
After that my friend told me over and over about how small her daughter's condo is and I distinctly felt that we weren't welcome. Turns out I was right. I'm only welcome if my son goes to his girlfriend's house. I understand that the place is small (after being told so many times, how could I not know?) and my friend doesn't want my son hanging around being bored and uncommunicative, but it still hurts my feelings.  My son and I will just hang out at home and I'll make us a small dinner. And hey, I can catch up on the many shows I have recorded, so that's a good thing.
Sorry for whining, but I'm certainly not going to discuss this with my son or our mutual friend and it's been on my mind since my friend and I were talking earlier this week. I just had to get my thoughts out somewhere. 
I have no idea how my font turned brown; I tried to fix it, but didn't want to lose my post.
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amom23
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,635 
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Post by amom23 on Nov 20, 2014 14:28:15 GMT
Yeah I can see how your feelings are hurt, but I can understand where your friend is coming from too. Make alternative plans to do something fun with your DS.
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Deleted
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Aug 18, 2025 19:29:56 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2014 14:30:37 GMT
We haven't gone to any extended family Thanksgivings for years. Just DH & I, our kids and my mom and her husband (not quite the same, I know). Before kids and when we just had 1 kid we always traveled to a touristy city and had dinner out and made it a weekend away with skiiing and Christmas shopping. That's my back-up plan if the kids ever all bail on us...haha! Enjoy your day regardless, although I think your friend was being a little tacky in how she handled it. We always plan something to do, whether it is going to a movie, being outdoors or playing games. Maybe you and your son can find something like that to fill part of the day.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 19:29:56 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2014 14:34:30 GMT
We are both working. Dh during the day and me all night. So no thanksgiving anytime soon. I'm a little pissed honestly. We knew with my job that I would be working. But not dh. Amazon screwed that up. Now USPS delivers 365 days a year for them. And only the contracted guys that get paid less and no holiday OT. No one needs deliveries on holidays or Sunday. It's ridiculous.
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Post by ~Zoey~ on Nov 20, 2014 14:34:25 GMT
Thanks! I know this is a PVM post and I also completely understand where my friend is coming from. No one wants to hang around with a "Debbie Downer." We have such a great time, though, and I'm feeling sad that I'll not be a part of it this year. My son and I will have our small dinner and just be thankful that we are together. My son has a great sense of humor (once you get to know him -  ) so we'll have a good time too.
If there's a good new movie out, we'll head to the theater. They removed the Galaga game from the lobby, though, and I'm still mourning its loss. LOL
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akathy
What's For Dinner?
Still peaing from Podunk!
Posts: 4,546
Location: North Dakota
Jun 25, 2014 22:56:55 GMT
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Post by akathy on Nov 20, 2014 14:38:07 GMT
My feelings would be hurt too. Unfortunately we can't force our friends to like our adult children. When his own mother says he was a bit of a wet blanket I'd be willing to guess he was more of a downer than you even know and don't blame your friend a bit for not wanting to invite him again. Have you spoken to your son about this? Maybe he doesn't know how rude his behavior came across. I should think he needs to know so that he can work on it.
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Post by maryland on Nov 20, 2014 14:38:19 GMT
Sounds like your son would have much more fun with just the two of you! Enjoy that. I have 2 teens that wish I would fall off a cliff (can't wait until the teen years are over!!haha!). Could you have fun cooking a dinner together, or even going out? Then rent some movies and have a good time. My friend told me her favorite Thanksgiving was one with just her and her husband (the kids were in college and couldn't come home). They were sad that it would be just the two of them, but they ended up having a blast! Watching the parade, cooking, not having to worry about traveling and trying to please everyone else.
Sorry you are missing your friend, but maybe you can still make a great Thanksgiving and great memories for your son!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 19:29:56 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2014 14:41:29 GMT
My feelings would be hurt too - sorry they put you in that situation. We are going out to dinner this Thanksgiving. A local hotel does a great Thanksgiving Dinner so we have reservations there.
I hope you and your son have a good day despite your friends poor invitation.
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Post by ~Zoey~ on Nov 20, 2014 14:41:58 GMT
That's a good point, akathy; thanks for bringing that up. I'll be thinking of a way to bring this up to him to prevent (as much as I can) this from happening in the future. I'm feeling better already and I appreciate all the responses.
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Post by mikklynn on Nov 20, 2014 15:23:37 GMT
I bet it wasn't very enjoyable for your son, either, if he's uncomfortable people he doesn't know well.
I am sure you two can have a wonderful day.
We are having just 4 this year. Me, DH, DD, and hubby's brother. I ordered everything from our local upscale grocer. All I have to do pop it in the oven.
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Post by samcro on Nov 20, 2014 15:30:45 GMT
It's just me and my husband, so I think I will roast some Cornish Hens with potatoes and carrots for a meal. As for festivities, none really. I will just spend the day giving extra thanks that we have each other and that my son is healthy and happy, although living many states away.
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Post by pretzels on Nov 20, 2014 15:33:57 GMT
We kind of are. My DH and DS are going to the A&M-LSU football game that evening, so we're going to run the local Turkey Trot that morning, eat at the ILs and then they're heading to College Station. DD and I have decided we're going to see "Mockingjay" and then come home and chill (I'm hoping to get the tree up or work on some other Christmas stuff). I'm totally fine with it. There was drama last year with my side of the family, so I'm avoiding them altogether.
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Post by denda on Nov 20, 2014 15:53:26 GMT
We are not having anything. Our kids will be going to other family Thanksgivings.
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Post by ScrappyJac on Nov 20, 2014 17:31:51 GMT
In the last several years, we have taken the low-key approach to Thanksgiving. It has become one of my favorite holidays. We travel over Christmas, so it is always exhausting an chaotic. Thanksgiving is about DH & I spending time together. We are able to cook and relax at home. I love it! Honestly, even when we have gotten the invite to spend it with friends, we have declined in favor of our quiet holiday at home.
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Anita
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,891
Location: Kansas City -ish
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Post by Anita on Nov 20, 2014 18:01:20 GMT
DH is having surgery two days before Thanksgiving, and won't be home until either Friday or Saturday. So I'll be spending Thanksgiving in the hospital.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 19:29:56 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2014 18:14:04 GMT
In the last several years, we have taken the low-key approach to Thanksgiving. It has become one of my favorite holidays. Thanksgiving is about DH & I spending time together. We are able to cook and relax at home. I love it! Honestly, even when we have gotten the invite to spend it with friends, we have declined in favor of our quiet holiday at home.  I used to think I needed the Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving...when we scaled back a few years back my kids told me it was the best Holidays they ever had.... |
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Post by **Angie** on Nov 20, 2014 18:35:26 GMT
This is the first year in a long time that we've had space to host a big gathering. Invited a bunch of family last month, and sure enough, they all have something else to do (my personal favorite is that they can't leave their dog home alone - it's too cold to leave her outside and she'll destroy the house if someone isn't there with her. Heaven forbid they get a crate.)
When we moved away, we always drove back home to do things with family. I always heard "we wish you lived closer so we could do more things together". I wrongly thought that if we moved back that meant they'd come do things with us.
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Post by lorieann13 on Nov 20, 2014 18:52:30 GMT
"my personal favorite is that they can't leave their dog home alone - it's too cold to leave her outside and she'll destroy the house if someone isn't there with her. Heaven forbid they get a crate. That is us this year. We just got a 5m old puppy, who is crate trained btw, and live in a townhouse with no fenced yard. She is still very much in the chewing phase so we can't leave her unattended. The drive itself is 4 hours (2 there, 2 back) and then at least 3-4 hours for the party. We asked to bring the dog and keep her in the garage in a crate but we were told no. So this will be our first 'our family' Thanksgiving. Just the 5 of us - dh, dd, ds, dog, and me. And I am actually looking forward to it! No traveling, no traffic. We can enjoy the parade on tv, the football games, go to the park, and know everything being served is gf and df for dd. We can all enjoy the meal. |
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Nink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,963
Location: North Idaho
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Post by Nink on Nov 20, 2014 18:58:55 GMT
After spending the last 17 or so Thanksgivings with DH's family and all the drama that goes with it, I will be cooking for just me and the dogs this year.  DH is currently out of state and I just don't feel like dealing with the whole family alone, especially since it's his. DS and his girlfriend are coming over for a little bit earlier in the day and then they are going to her folks house for dinner. I'm going to cook a small turkey breast and some stuffing and other fixin's and will give the pooches a little bit of a treat that night. I'm actually looking forward to having the day to myself. |
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maurchclt
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,654
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Post by maurchclt on Nov 20, 2014 18:59:01 GMT
Just the two of us this year, will Skype with family out of state. Still planning on a turkey and all usual side dishes, we love leftover, lol.
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Post by **Angie** on Nov 20, 2014 19:57:48 GMT
"my personal favorite is that they can't leave their dog home alone - it's too cold to leave her outside and she'll destroy the house if someone isn't there with her. Heaven forbid they get a crate. That is us this year. We just got a 5m old puppy, who is crate trained btw, and live in a townhouse with no fenced yard. She is still very much in the chewing phase so we can't leave her unattended. The drive itself is 4 hours (2 there, 2 back) and then at least 3-4 hours for the party. We asked to bring the dog and keep her in the garage in a crate but we were told no. In your case, I can understand. A whole day in a crate for a puppy - not good. This is an adult dog, and they'd only be gone for three, maybe four hours total. Heck, a 5 month old puppy, I'd say bring her if she'll be okay around another dog. Oh well. |
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Post by beachbum on Nov 20, 2014 20:03:32 GMT
DH and I have just moved, we are in a rental condo waiting to close on our house and the 3 kids are coming at Christmas. So, it's just the 2 of us for Thanksgiving. We're having lobster. Yum. I will cook the whole turkey dinner for Christmas when everyone is here.
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
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Post by freebird on Nov 20, 2014 20:37:42 GMT
It was rude for your "friend" to uninvited your son to a party not even hosted by the "friend". The daughter invited him, she's been around him, she clearly didn't care. Your friend isn't a very good friend. God you can't put up with your BFF's adult broody kid for a few hours on *thanksgiving* so they don't celebrate alone?
I'd totally reevaluate my friendship with her. I have pretty high expectations from people I guess.
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My son and I will just hang out at home and I'll make us a small dinner. And hey, I can catch up on the many shows I have recorded, so that's a good thing. 
) so we'll have a good time too.
DH is currently out of state and I just don't feel like dealing with the whole family alone, especially since it's his. DS and his girlfriend are coming over for a little bit earlier in the day and then they are going to her folks house for dinner. I'm going to cook a small turkey breast and some stuffing and other fixin's and will give the pooches a little bit of a treat that night. I'm actually looking forward to having the day to myself. 
