Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,145 
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Post by Just T on May 9, 2022 21:49:10 GMT
I should probably create an alter id for this post, but I am at the point where I really just don’t give a crap if my STBX asshole finds this. I really doubt he will…I have never talked about two peas to him, so I don’t know why he would. And I don’t have a home computer, so no way he will ever find it. If some other asshole who knows who I am decides to find him, I honestly don't care.
He has done so, SO many shitty things, too many to write about here. But recently, he did something so beyond. And I caught him, and he totally lied, and I knew he was lying, but I had no real proof, and today, I found definitive proof he lied.
A couple of weeks ago, he told me he was traveling to a city on the west coast for work. But the woman I have suspected of being his girlfriend, even though he denies it when I confront him, posted pictures of herself in a beautiful, tropical location, and of course, I immediately thought that he was probably there with her. I found evidence that he was, but he blew it off, said he was only there for a day with someone else, a guy he works with, blah blah blah. Of course, I KNEW he was lying but I had no proof. Basically, I found out that he ran a half marathon in this location because I found him in the results of the marathon. By the way, this is NOT a place that one just goes to on a last minute whim. He said he flew there with his friend on a red eye, ran, then flew back to where he was working. I didn’t believe him by the way.
Today I found proof that he was in this place with this woman for a week, and he spent $9,000 on a hotel! NINE THOUSAND DOLLARS. I found the hotel receipt. Her name was on it as the second guest. They had a deluxe beach view room on the beach at a rate of 1248 a NIGHT.
I am so angry…just for background, this is a place we used to talk about going someday. A place where he told our daughters we would go when they graduated from college. (We didn’t, of course.)
I am glad that it validates to me what a piece of shit he is when he is doing his best to convince me that I am crazy/paranoid/etc. But it makes me so angry that he is soooooo stingy with me, barely giving me money to pay our bills. (I have my own account, but try not to use if for house stuff because I am trying to save as much money as I can.)
So I am being so frugal, and he is spending that kind of money. That is just the hotel for a week. Flight, car, food….UGH
I hate him. That is all.
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Post by gar on May 9, 2022 21:52:56 GMT
Ugh…I’m so sorry ((hugs)) I would be as angry as you are I’m sure.
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Post by destined2bmom on May 9, 2022 21:54:18 GMT
Why don’t you give this information to your attorney to get more money out of him? That should teach the jerk that lying doesn’t pay.
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Post by mom on May 9, 2022 21:55:51 GMT
What an asshole. I am so sorry. And yes, turn all of this in to your attorney.
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,145
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Post by Just T on May 9, 2022 21:56:59 GMT
Why don’t you give this information to your attorney to get more money out of him? That should teach the jerk that lying doesn’t pay. Oh, I will be giving this information to her! |
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,145
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Post by Just T on May 9, 2022 21:58:37 GMT
What an asshole. I am so sorry. And yes, turn all of this in to your attorney. I took pics on my phone, and yes, I will be giving it to her. None of it really matters because I am in a no fault state, so it doesn't matter. I more wanted the proof for myself, to confront him with to make sure he knows that I KNOW what a lying d!ck he is. |
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Post by Really Red on May 9, 2022 22:05:00 GMT
Vent away. It truly sucks when you work so hard and have so many dreams and then this happens. I am so sorry.
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Post by scrapmaven on May 9, 2022 22:12:06 GMT
He's a lying piece of doo-doo. Good for you for bringing it to your lawyer. He doesn't get to decide when you can have money. The judge gets to decide and I hope you have a judge that has zero tolerance for jerks like stbx.
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Post by freecharlie on May 9, 2022 22:12:32 GMT
What an asshole. I am so sorry. And yes, turn all of this in to your attorney. I took pics on my phone, and yes, I will be giving it to her. None of it really matters because I am in a no fault state, so it doesn't matter. I more wanted the proof for myself, to confront him with to make sure he knows that I KNOW what a lying d!ck he is. are you sure it doesn't matter? My attorney told me that things like this count as marital waste and that he should have to give you half of what he wasted |
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Post by freecharlie on May 9, 2022 22:12:58 GMT
Oh, and I am sorry you are dealing with such an ass
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Post by mollycoddle on May 9, 2022 22:14:23 GMT
What a jerk! 😡 I’m sorry.
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Post by Zee on May 9, 2022 22:15:32 GMT
I'm pretty sure if I were you I'd be posting this from jail with the burner phone my best friend smuggled in to me to get my affairs in order.
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Post by mom on May 9, 2022 22:16:47 GMT
I took pics on my phone, and yes, I will be giving it to her. None of it really matters because I am in a no fault state, so it doesn't matter. I more wanted the proof for myself, to confront him with to make sure he knows that I KNOW what a lying d!ck he is. are you sure it doesn't matter? My attorney told me that things like this count as marital waste and that he should have to give you half of what he wasted It mattered in my divorce. |
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,975
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on May 9, 2022 22:22:54 GMT
What a douche.
Consider yourself lucky to be rid of him.
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Post by gramasue on May 9, 2022 22:36:08 GMT
Ugh. Cheating bastard. You have every right to be livid. I'm sorry.
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Post by sunnyd on May 9, 2022 22:39:03 GMT
 What did he say when you confronted him with the receipt? I know you already know this but you are so much better off without him!!
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Post by ~summer~ on May 9, 2022 22:51:42 GMT
I’m sorry. You will be better off without him.
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Post by busy on May 9, 2022 22:57:23 GMT
I'm so sorry. What a massive dick. I know it doesn't make it hurt any less, but you truly are going to be better off without him. He's a garbage human.
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Sarah*H
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,098
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Post by Sarah*H on May 9, 2022 23:37:26 GMT
I am so so sorry.
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Post by SallyPA on May 9, 2022 23:42:16 GMT
Wow, what an absolute jerk. I am so sorry. That’s a lot of crap to wade through all while he’s gas lighting and lying to you.
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 9, 2022 23:43:27 GMT
I would be PEA LIVID. He would come home to all of his shit out on the lawn and all the locks changed.  I’m so sorry. That *really* sucks. What a colossal dick. |
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Post by lisacharlotte on May 9, 2022 23:51:11 GMT
I don’t understand how being in a no fault state has anything to do with marital assets. I worry you’re getting bad advice.
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luckyjune
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,788
Location: In the rainy, rainy WA
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Post by luckyjune on May 10, 2022 0:09:43 GMT
What an assholian move. I'll bet you are counting the days to be rid of him.
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Post by AussieMeg on May 10, 2022 0:11:46 GMT
It always amuses (or should I say bemuses) me how men like this make up the most outlandish ridiculous lies to try and keep their infidelity a secret. Do they really believe we are gullible enough to believe this shit? A red eye flight to run a marathon with a mate? Please. If it weren't so hurtful it would be hilarious watching them try to twist and contort themselves into lie after lie when presented with evidence.
I'm sorry you're going through this, and I cannot wait until you are free from this prick forever.
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Post by papersilly on May 10, 2022 0:31:35 GMT
$9,000....What a gut punch! Even I felt that.
I'm sorry you had to be faced with that. Stay strong. Forge ahead to that new life of yours.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Aug 18, 2025 19:30:17 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 10, 2022 0:34:38 GMT
The worst for me with my cheating ex was his lying and denial and me doubting myself, so I congratulate you on good detective work in finding out. And I’m very sorry - as good as it is not to be gaslighted any more, I know how much it hurts.
I don’t know if you’ve told him you have proof yet or not. Me, I’d speak with the lawyer first and the STBX last.
Thinking of you tonight.
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Loydene
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,639
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
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Post by Loydene on May 10, 2022 0:47:52 GMT
What the evidence might help with is : 1) proving he is making more money than he is telling you -- possibly increasing alimony/child support/property division; 2) proving that he should get a larger amount of any debt to be divided.
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Post by Clair on May 10, 2022 1:08:04 GMT
You should determine your separation date asap.
Depending on your state if monies aren’t separated - he’s paying for these trips with marital money instead of out if his ‘half’ of the money.
My husband was buying all kinds of things for his girlfriend out of our marital assets and I had absolutely no idea.
I’m so sorry - this absolutely sucks. Life will get better and you are definitely better off without him.
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janeinbama
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,257
Location: Alabama
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Post by janeinbama on May 10, 2022 1:08:23 GMT
Good detective work on your part. I am so sorry that jack#@@ ruined a place that you and your daughters had dreamed about for many years. How is he keeping all his lies straight?  ?? |
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Post by Lexica on May 10, 2022 1:09:27 GMT
Well, at some point, you need to thank him. Thank him for making it so that you don't have even a scintilla of regret for divorcing him. My ex did stupid things like this and I ended up thanking him for doing so. It just made me walking away from him and filing for divorce that much easier and I never ever once looked back with regret. He told me later that knowing I had no regrets for leaving him was the most painful thing I could have ever said to him because he constantly regretted screwing up our marriage. After I thanked him he knew there wasn't a speck of hope that I would ever allow him back into our lives again.
He even told me that I was forcing him to marry the girl he was having the affair with because I knew he couldn't be alone. I think I was supposed to feel bad about that. But it was true that he could not be alone. That's why he keeps getting married. I told him numerous times that he wasn't the type of man to be married because he can't help himself from cheating. He is on marriage #5 now and apparently has been cheating on this one too. And he is almost 70 years old!
The money that he spent may matter when it comes to getting support for you and the equal division of property.
You are a million times better off without this cheater. Now that you have that validation, let it go. What he does and what he says no longer matters. What matters is the type of future you want to build for yourself.
Oh, and you need to reframe your thinking. This wasn't a terrible, no good very bad day. This was a day that freed you up to move forward. This was a great day!
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What did he say when you confronted him with the receipt? I know you already know this but you are so much better off without him!!
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