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Post by gillyp on Apr 14, 2025 14:41:42 GMT
Is it even a word in places other than the UK? Here it means "to speak to or address in a witty and teasing manner". I'm noticing that now people use it when they are being called out for being down right rude or belligerent. "Oh, it's only a bit of banter" they say dismissively, as if the term absolves them from being rude. I really dislike the word now and it immediately gets my back up to hear it.
What do you think of it or are there similar words that irk you?
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Post by melanell on Apr 14, 2025 14:44:17 GMT
Is it even a word in places other than the UK? Here it means "to speak to or address in a witty and teasing manner". I'm noticing that now people use it when they are being called out for being down right rude or belligerent. "Oh, it's only a bit of banter" they say dismissively, as if the term absolves them from being rude. I really dislike the word now and it immediately gets my back up to hear it. What do you think of it or are there similar words that irk you? Oh no! I'm sorry you dislike it now. To me it means exactly as you described it first: "to speak to or address in a witty and teasing manner". I think of it as fun, teasing back and forth conversation between people who are fond of one another. I'd say that some of my favorite relationships include a lot of banter.  |
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Post by ntsf on Apr 14, 2025 14:44:53 GMT
it is used in a slightly different way in the usa but I have no problem with the word.. it is not used in a negative or dismissive way here
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Post by BSnyder on Apr 14, 2025 14:46:49 GMT
Yes, it’s used on the US, but not commonly. It usually means back and forth conversation with some light debate, and maybe some light teasing involved. I haven’t yet heard it used otherwise.
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Tearisci
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,964
Nov 6, 2018 16:34:30 GMT
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Post by Tearisci on Apr 14, 2025 14:48:04 GMT
I banter back and forth with my BIL a lot and it's just in a fun, teasing manner. Occasionally, if he's been drinking, he can get more aggressive but in general I think of it as a positive word.
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Post by lainey on Apr 14, 2025 15:43:01 GMT
I think banter only truly works when there's an established relationship or affection involved. It's been turned into a poor excuse for rudeness and misogyny because saying'it's just bants innit' makes it all OK.
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Post by gillyp on Apr 14, 2025 15:51:53 GMT
I think banter only truly works when there's an established relationship or affection involved. It's been turned into a poor excuse for rudeness and misogyny because saying'it's just bants innit' makes it all OK. Yes, this is exactly what I'm getting at; the way in which it's excusing bad behaviour. All the previous posters - your use of it, is how it used to be here. I hope it stays that way with you.  |
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FuzzyMutt
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,644 
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Post by FuzzyMutt on Apr 14, 2025 16:11:11 GMT
To me (and I use it a little) it is always fun and lighthearted.
Most of what goes on here, even the fluff, is more accurately (in my mind) debate, discourse or something along those lines.
I think any negativity takes it from banter to something else.
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Post by 3boysnme on Apr 14, 2025 16:26:08 GMT
I've heard of it of course, but I've only thought of it as lightly teasing with another person, the back and forth.
I've had a conversation with a friend in the UK and he said that it can get quite rowdy. To the point of being rude, but that both parties understood that it is only joking, and not to be taken seriously.
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Post by lucyg on Apr 14, 2025 17:23:18 GMT
I agree with you on all counts. I don’t like the way some people have started using it lately.
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Post by 950nancy on Apr 14, 2025 18:52:19 GMT
I hear it and use it. I haven't really heard of it with a negative connotation though.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Apr 14, 2025 19:13:12 GMT
Is it even a word in places other than the UK? Here it means "to speak to or address in a witty and teasing manner". I'm noticing that now people use it when they are being called out for being down right rude or belligerent. "Oh, it's only a bit of banter" they say dismissively, as if the term absolves them from being rude. I really dislike the word now and it immediately gets my back up to hear it. What do you think of it or are there similar words that irk you? Same here! |
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Apr 14, 2025 19:24:19 GMT
I am fine with that word. I think it means a lively conversation back and forth.
However..... tone, body language and attitude....can make "banter" come as across as unfriendly, hostile, bitter, etc...
Banter can be interpreted differently by everyone. Everyone is going to have a different opinion, of what someone else's banter commentary meant to them.
Banter interpretation is even worse, when it is done with written words and not in person. Especially when you can't hear a person tone, or attitude(or lack thereof) in their voice or see someone's body language.
Happens here on this message board, while texting, and on social media.... all the time.
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Post by malibou on Apr 14, 2025 19:24:46 GMT
Is it even a word in places other than the UK? Here it means "to speak to or address in a witty and teasing manner". I'm noticing that now people use it when they are being called out for being down right rude or belligerent. "Oh, it's only a bit of banter" they say dismissively, as if the term absolves them from being rude. I really dislike the word now and it immediately gets my back up to hear it. What do you think of it or are there similar words that irk you? I agree with you whole heartedly. It even sounds a bit like gaslighting to me sometimes. Bantering is supposed to be fun in my book. |
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Post by mollycoddle on Apr 14, 2025 19:48:28 GMT
I’m a fan of the word. But I have not heard it used in the way that you describe.
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Post by Zee on Apr 14, 2025 19:49:34 GMT
Banter always means a playful, fun tone here. It's not used much, you're more likely to read it than hear it used. But it's definitely used to describe a light-hearted back and forth.
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Post by Zee on Apr 14, 2025 19:52:13 GMT
And I'm sure it means the same thing as you say, only rude people are using it to excuse their behavior. Like saying "hey, I'm just brutally honest" when you're being a dick. No, you're a dick.
(Sometimes I'm a dick too but I try not to be one when it's uncalled for) 🤭
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Post by KiwiJo on Apr 14, 2025 20:44:06 GMT
I think that when someone uses ‘banter’ to try to excuse rudeness or belligerence, it reflects more about them than about the word; they are quite simply using the word incorrectly. They obviously know what ‘banter’ really means, why else would they say it? They are trying to downplay the behaviour and they should be called on it.
I also think most people see through their attempts, and know that ‘banter’ is light-hearted teasing and not an excuse for rudeness. There’s no need to dislike a word, or discontinue using it, just because some idiots use it incorrectly in an attempt to justify something they obviously know was wrong.
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Post by gar on Apr 14, 2025 20:59:50 GMT
I have heard it too often in cases of men being verbally abusive to women (often in the workplace) and they dismiss it by saying it’s banter meaning that the women were making a silly fuss about nothing.
Having said that I still use it/hear it in the original way.
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