Panhandler drives 2013 car

That's despicable.  We have a neighbor who we've seen panhandling.  Granted, we don't live in an ultra-deluxe neighborhood, but it's not the ghetto either.  I never give money to panhandlers. 

Even when my DH was unemployed and we were worried about how to pay our bills we NEVER panhandled.

Even when he doesn't have his wits about him a shelter/agency may be reaching out to him. I know I worked with a mission in Hawaii. We knew the homeless that generally stayed in our area. There were some who were quite migratory in their living patterns and others who were rather stable in the areas they stayed. We had a food bank but it wasn't often open to people asking for help. We took help to those we knew were hiding under the underpass and camping in difficult to access areas where they weren't likely to be driven out by the police. 

So research local groups see how they work. Fund them. You very well may still be helping those who won't/can't go to the shelters. 

I would rather be guilty of giving to someone who perhaps misrepresented themselves than of not giving to a person with a genuine need because of my own skepticism and mistrust.

I have been given much.

For every single instance of someone impersonating a homeless person, there are 20 truly homeless hungry people you and I will never see who suffer quietly and go unhelped and unacknowledged by society. I can only pray that my eyes will be keenly aware of my own ability to give and help with wisdom and generosity...whenever and wherever.

One person in Oklahoma being a scammer really doesn't let me off the hook.

I can understand his frustration. I remember once going to buy a Big Issue ~Click~ from someone, and my son stopped me. He had noticed his really expensive trainers, and the fact that he had been using an iPhone. I don't give to individuals now.

I have always tried to trust my gut. I gave money to a college age girl who said her car broke down and she was stranded, once. It was dark, she seemed panicked. I decided I'd rather give her money than take the chance o leaving her stranded at night with no money. If she was lying- that's for her to live with, not me.

I've bought a meal for a homeless guy drinking coffee at McDonald's on a cold day. He looked pretty down and out. If he was faking it, it was an incredible performance.

But when people station themselves outside of stores, or they walk on the median strip in traffic with signs- I tend to resist (though I'm tempted to give). There's something about it that feels manipulative. Like 'See? You have so much- bags of groceries, a nice car, etc. Give me some of that money.' I know people in real need would choose the place to station themselves wisely- of course. I mean- you aren't going to stand next to the plumbing supply store vs. stand near Walmart. You have to choose for the best advantage, I guess. But it still feels manipulative and I don't like it.

Trying to figure out who is really in need and who is maybe scamming and walking back to a new car at the end of the day - forget it. If I gave money to the woman in the OP- I'd be really mad. I'd feel duped. (How can she get a license to panhandle when she apparently doesn't really need it?)
And stories like that aren't exactly scarce.

In the end, I can't give to every person asking for money. I can't give to every person raising money for a cause. I can't send a check to every charity request I get in the mail. I have a finite number of dollars for giving and the bulk of it has to go to organizations that will do the most good, for the most people.

If someone approaches me at a gas station, I offer to pay for gas. If someone is in a restaurant, I offer food or drink. I don't give cash. I don't like the ones in the median because they scare me with their waving and walking about. I've seen them cause accidents.

But my overall theory is that by giving them cash, we are endorsing the behavior. Maybe it is because I tend to be a tough love parent, but I feel that our giving of cash so freely has not helped the situation at all. I support organizations that offer assistance. Those organizations have experts that are far better than me at effecting long term change.

We had this young man on a corner next to a Ruby Tuesday's. He was there for about 2-3 years. My NDN's DD worked at that restaurant as a server. She said that twice management went out with an application telling him they had an opening and would be interested in interviewing him. He said he made too much money panhandling to bother applying. Pathetic! He moved to another major intersection. I haven't seen him around town in a few months. I wonder what happened to him. 

I feel there should be laws barring panhandling.

Cosign,

I didn't mean anything by it.. he IS a big black dude.. HUGE dude.. Can't really miss him.  I guess if it was a big huge white guy or a teeny tiny Chinese woman.. I would have said the same... He's been gone for two days now.. now I am wondering where he is at... although the weather is colder he might be near some shelters.  

Fine then.  

I hate the people that chase you down in the parking lot and ask for money because they ran out of gas. I have had this happen more times that I can count. Ugh.

I never give cash to panhandlers because I only have so much to give and I would rather donate to organizations. I don't want to risk giving my limited amount of money to a con artist. It's money that is wasted and money that could have gone to a reputable organization.