samantha25
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,912 
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Post by samantha25 on Nov 28, 2019 5:51:58 GMT
So how you would respond to this situation- to tell everyone that this was funny as hell? I'll respond to your response as an interesting point of view and I can't quite comprehend why this is funny. What am I missing? Is this satire? Yeah, I'd tell people my story about waiting in line at Big Lots and getting yelled at as the lady drove away. I would find it an amusing anecdote of my day. I wouldn't take it personally or be offended either by the language or the racial element. I've heard worse in my life. Maybe you have, but I have not. Thanks for clarifying. |
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samantha25
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,912
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Post by samantha25 on Nov 28, 2019 5:53:12 GMT
I don't think people say things like that to make them feel better about themselves- people are not respectful. Where is the respect, patience and kindness? She won't care or make herself feel better that she yelled that at us. They say it because they are filled with nastiness and want the rest of the world to be just as gross as they are. They don’t care about respect, patience, or kindness. They are in it for themselves and anything to make them appear better than another. Most likely, this person treated the sales person poorly, did not say thank you or have a nice afternoon. There are mean, nasty people in the world. I choose to look at them with pity and tell the “funny, crazy thing happened today....” to my friends and family. Thanks for clarifying your point of view. I have never experienced something like this. |
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samantha25
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,912
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Post by samantha25 on Nov 28, 2019 6:37:26 GMT
While it hurts and stinks to have someone say hurtful things to you... It happened this one time. Maybe only a few times. Take a moment and think about what others have been dealing with for years/their lifetime. Native Americans, African Americans/Blacks, Latinos/Mexicans/South Americans, Pacific Islanders, those with mental disabilities, those with Autism/Aspergers, those who have MR/ID, those who are differently abled, those whose sexual preference is not straight, those who are binary... Yes racism and hate can go all ways but to make a mountain out of a mole hill when it was this one time is wrong. Especially when other groups get it daily. What do you mean by one time? One time is not ok for anyone or anyone that you described to above in your response to experience an act of unkindness. I did not make a mountain out of a mole hill. The "especilly when other groups get it daily" is unnecessary. Not sure what you are acknowledging. The response of every one does it, is not ok, to be ok. |
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Post by gmcwife1 on Nov 28, 2019 7:24:19 GMT
I'm sorry that happened to you. I've been on the receiving end of rude and racist comments a couple of times in my life and it does tend to stick with you. I have too and OP, I’m sorry you had this experience. I’m also sorry for some of the crappy things being said to you here. Sadly some members have decided to bring their ugliness here instead of their empathy. |
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samantha25
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,912
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Post by samantha25 on Nov 28, 2019 7:45:57 GMT
I'm sorry that happened to you. I've been on the receiving end of rude and racist comments a couple of times in my life and it does tend to stick with you. I have too and OP, I’m sorry you had this experience. I’m also sorry for some of the crappy things being said to you hear. Sadly some members have decided to bring their ugliness here instead of their empathy. Thank you for your response. Some of these replies I shake my head at and don't understand the responses. It is never ok for anyone to behave in such a manner... whether you are green, white, black purple gay, non-gay... non gender.. whatever. I was buying some butter at the store and got in the line for the next register to check out and then walked out to my car. Why would someone yell at me what they did indeed yell, especially since it's beginning the season of caring. I would not yell out such things.
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None
Full Member
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Sept 17, 2017 13:10:30 GMT
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Post by None on Nov 28, 2019 12:14:37 GMT
I find it interesting that the op is being told by some to laugh it off as a funny story or that other races have had to deal with this. Where is the outrage over the racism? Do white people not count? You can bet your bottom dollar if a pea of color wrote the exact same post everyone should be flipping out over the racism. Op, I validate your feelings. I get it. But then im just a white girl and to many on here our opinion doesn't matter.
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Post by Merge on Nov 28, 2019 12:23:11 GMT
Today I am thankful that I am not the daily target of racism both personal
and institutionalized, and since that is the case, that I can remember my unearned privilege and grant others a little grace.
Happy Thanksgiving. To the OP, I’m sorry you were upset.
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Deleted
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May 19, 2024 14:28:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 28, 2019 12:24:31 GMT
No one deserves to be at the receiving end of racist behavior. I hope your day today is much better.
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rickmer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,123
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Post by rickmer on Nov 28, 2019 12:51:33 GMT
anytime someone says something with hate, it's awful to be on the receiving end of that. i would try not to let one miserable person who was ignorant get to me... i am not sure anyone would agree what was said to you was okay.
but it would serve as a reminder to me that others *do* put up with horrible behaviour on a regular basis for things that are out of their control (race, sexuality, weight, etc).
years ago i drove past my sister-in-law walking down the street and honked to get her attention to wave and say hi. she heard the honk, but stared straight ahead and continued walking as i drove by.
i thought it was so weird and mentioned it to my MIL. she said i shouldn't have done that and i was so confused, i asked why. my SIL is pretty significantly overweight and my MIL said people drive by and yell rude, horrible things to her so she probably just assumed someone was honking to get her attention for that reason. i was so sad. i had no idea.
what happened to you was rude and awful and some people just suck.
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Deleted
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May 19, 2024 14:28:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 28, 2019 13:27:01 GMT
I'm so sorry that happened to you.
I can't imagine what it would be like to have to hear stuff like that all the time.
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msladibug
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,533
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Post by msladibug on Nov 29, 2019 19:35:41 GMT
I’ve had that happen too many times to count, and it stings every time. Sorry that happened to you.
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Deleted
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May 19, 2024 14:28:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 30, 2019 15:34:24 GMT
I’m so very sorry. I don’t care who you are, this behavior is NEVER okay. To me, ANY type of group hate is unacceptable.
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Post by peace on Dec 1, 2019 2:14:02 GMT
I’m so very sorry. I don’t care who you are, this behavior is NEVER okay. To me, ANY type of group hate is unacceptable. Here is where some are getting confused. It is not okay to behave like this. Not for anyone. BUT to say it's racist- it isn't. Racism has to do with power and white folks have it. It's discrimination - hateful- yes. But we are so very uneducated in this country about how things work and the situation white people have created. So TO ME- when black person yells "I hate white people" I think to myself "I get it." Do I know about this particular situation? No. Do I really think it was personal to the OP? No. But white folks need to start stepping up. And we aren't. We look for reasons not to. POC really do have a reason to not like us. Many many reasons. Let's start changing the way society treats POC and things will change. It isn't about this particular situation- it's about why every situation like this happens. It's way bigger than this. And if you don't get that, you got some learning to do. |
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
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Post by ashley on Dec 1, 2019 2:16:08 GMT
I’m so very sorry. I don’t care who you are, this behavior is NEVER okay. To me, ANY type of group hate is unacceptable. Here is where some are getting confused. It is not okay to behave like this. Not for anyone. BUT to say it's racist- it isn't. Racism has to do with power and white folks have it. It's discrimination - hateful- yes. But we are so very uneducated in this country about how things work and the situation white people have created. So TO ME- when black person yells "I hate white people" I think to myself "I get it." Do I know about this particular situation? No. Do I really think it was personal to the OP? No. But white folks need to start stepping up. And we aren't. We look for reasons not to. POC really do have a reason to not like us. Many many reasons. Let's start changing the way society treats POC and things will change. It isn't about this particular situation- it's about why every situation like this happens. It's way bigger than this. And if you don't get that, you got some learning to do. I disagree that racism involves who is in power — it is about putting down another group of individuals based on their cultural attributes and the belief that your own culture is superior. |
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Deleted
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May 19, 2024 14:28:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 1, 2019 4:10:17 GMT
I do find it interesting that this has become a race issues when nowhere in the post did the OP mention the race of the two women behind her in line. It’s certainly possible that two women behind her weren’t POC but of a different race. Either way, what was said WAS wrong and I wouldn’t blame the OP for taking it personally when it was directed at her and her husband.
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
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Post by ashley on Dec 1, 2019 4:12:54 GMT
I do find it interesting that this has become a race issues when nowhere in the post did the OP mention the race of the two women behind her in line. It’s certainly possible that two women behind her weren’t POC but of a different race. Either way, what was said WAS wrong and I wouldn’t blame the OP for taking it personally when it was directed at her and her husband. It was indicated as a race issue with the statement being about hating white people. Unless you think white people were yelling this at other white people? |
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Deleted
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May 19, 2024 14:28:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 1, 2019 4:17:29 GMT
I think there are White people who certainly don’t have tolerance for their own race. It could be a person from Asian descent, Indian decent, etc. I’m not trying to point fingers anywhere. I actually went back a few times thinking I missed something in the post. Lol!
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thwarth
Full Member
Posts: 152
Sept 15, 2018 0:33:00 GMT
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Post by thwarth on Dec 3, 2019 22:53:02 GMT
I’m so very sorry. I don’t care who you are, this behavior is NEVER okay. To me, ANY type of group hate is unacceptable. Here is where some are getting confused. It is not okay to behave like this. Not for anyone. BUT to say it's racist- it isn't. Racism has to do with power and white folks have it. It's discrimination - hateful- yes. But we are so very uneducated in this country about how things work and the situation white people have created. So TO ME- when black person yells "I hate white people" I think to myself "I get it." Do I know about this particular situation? No. Do I really think it was personal to the OP? No. But white folks need to start stepping up. And we aren't. We look for reasons not to. POC really do have a reason to not like us. Many many reasons. Let's start changing the way society treats POC and things will change. It isn't about this particular situation- it's about why every situation like this happens. It's way bigger than this. And if you don't get that, you got some learning to do. I will also respectfully disagree with you. This statement implies that only white people can be racist. Which is patently untrue if you study any world history. Racism is any discrimination or irrational dislike for any individual based on their race. My opinion is that as a whole, people are far more tolerant then they were even 20 years ago. However to say there aren't individual incidents of racism on a daily basis, from all different races, in this country would be naive. I do think that people have gotten less civil in the last 20 years and as a result we have incidents like what happened to the OP. Where a person who was racist and uncivil was allowed to verbally assualt a complete stranger. I'm sorry that happened to you. No one deserves to be treated like that. No excuse of "systematic oppression" justifies poor individual choices. However don't stew too much about it. If you do she wins. You did nothing wrong. |
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Post by papersilly on Dec 3, 2019 22:59:12 GMT
ooh, if that happened to me, i would have had a good comeback but then that would have reduced me to their level.
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Olan
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Post by Olan on Dec 3, 2019 23:19:31 GMT
I’m sorry that happened to you. Discrimination sucks. The single most helpful advice I’ve ever gotten was “Their sin was against God”. Whenever someone treats me poorly I imagine how wrathful God is and know he will do a better job “checking” that person than I ever could.
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Olan
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Post by Olan on Dec 3, 2019 23:23:01 GMT
I find it interesting that the op is being told by some to laugh it off as a funny story or that other races have had to deal with this. Where is the outrage over the racism? Do white people not count? You can bet your bottom dollar if a pea of color wrote the exact same post everyone should be flipping out over the racism. Op, I validate your feelings. I get it. But then im just a white girl and to many on here our opinion doesn't matter. To a bunch of other white women, your white opinion doesn’t matter? What a strange alternate universe you must live in lol |
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MizIndependent
Drama Llama
Quit your bullpoop.
Posts: 5,836
Jun 25, 2014 19:43:16 GMT
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Post by MizIndependent on Dec 3, 2019 23:51:40 GMT
I’m sorry that happened to you. Discrimination sucks. The single most helpful advice I’ve ever gotten was “Their sin was against God”. Whenever someone treats me poorly I imagine how wrathful God is and know he will do a better job “checking” that person than I ever could. This. 1,000 times, this.
It's not your problem, it's not your fault and it's not an actual reflection of you. It is a direct reflection of them though.
(((hugs)))
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Deleted
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May 19, 2024 14:28:16 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 4, 2019 0:18:28 GMT
I’m sorry that happened to you. Discrimination sucks. The single most helpful advice I’ve ever gotten was “Their sin was against God”. Whenever someone treats me poorly I imagine how wrathful God is and know he will do a better job “checking” that person than I ever could. Wow. Amazing advice! |
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Post by peace on Dec 4, 2019 5:11:56 GMT
Here is where some are getting confused. It is not okay to behave like this. Not for anyone. BUT to say it's racist- it isn't. Racism has to do with power and white folks have it. It's discrimination - hateful- yes. But we are so very uneducated in this country about how things work and the situation white people have created. So TO ME- when black person yells "I hate white people" I think to myself "I get it." Do I know about this particular situation? No. Do I really think it was personal to the OP? No. But white folks need to start stepping up. And we aren't. We look for reasons not to. POC really do have a reason to not like us. Many many reasons. Let's start changing the way society treats POC and things will change. It isn't about this particular situation- it's about why every situation like this happens. It's way bigger than this. And if you don't get that, you got some learning to do. I disagree that racism involves who is in power — it is about putting down another group of individuals based on their cultural attributes and the belief that your own culture is superior. you are free to disagree but you would be wrong. This isn't my opinion. |
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Post by peace on Dec 4, 2019 5:19:00 GMT
Here is where some are getting confused. It is not okay to behave like this. Not for anyone. BUT to say it's racist- it isn't. Racism has to do with power and white folks have it. It's discrimination - hateful- yes. But we are so very uneducated in this country about how things work and the situation white people have created. So TO ME- when black person yells "I hate white people" I think to myself "I get it." Do I know about this particular situation? No. Do I really think it was personal to the OP? No. But white folks need to start stepping up. And we aren't. We look for reasons not to. POC really do have a reason to not like us. Many many reasons. Let's start changing the way society treats POC and things will change. It isn't about this particular situation- it's about why every situation like this happens. It's way bigger than this. And if you don't get that, you got some learning to do. I will also respectfully disagree with you. This statement implies that only white people can be racist. Which is patently untrue if you study any world history. Racism is any discrimination or irrational dislike for any individual based on their race. My opinion is that as a whole, people are far more tolerant then they were even 20 years ago. However to say there aren't individual incidents of racism on a daily basis, from all different races, in this country would be naive. I do think that people have gotten less civil in the last 20 years and as a result we have incidents like what happened to the OP. Where a person who was racist and uncivil was allowed to verbally assualt a complete stranger. I'm sorry that happened to you. No one deserves to be treated like that. No excuse of "systematic oppression" justifies poor individual choices. However don't stew too much about it. If you do she wins. You did nothing wrong. You are also wrong. Racism has to do with POWER. Read up on it. This is part of the reason our country is in the mess it is in. White folks do not do the work. We *think* we know. We do not. People of color can have prejudice. They can discriminate but racism involves power and white people have it. You are feeling fragile. I get it. But what I am telling you is that you have a lot to learn and you will eventually understand if you do the work. Usually I do not get involved in all of this. I am not as eloquent as some of the more vocal peas. But what I do know- that as a white person, I have to start speaking up. |
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thwarth
Full Member
Posts: 152
Sept 15, 2018 0:33:00 GMT
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Post by thwarth on Dec 4, 2019 5:36:58 GMT
I will also respectfully disagree with you. This statement implies that only white people can be racist. Which is patently untrue if you study any world history. Racism is any discrimination or irrational dislike for any individual based on their race. My opinion is that as a whole, people are far more tolerant then they were even 20 years ago. However to say there aren't individual incidents of racism on a daily basis, from all different races, in this country would be naive. I do think that people have gotten less civil in the last 20 years and as a result we have incidents like what happened to the OP. Where a person who was racist and uncivil was allowed to verbally assualt a complete stranger. I'm sorry that happened to you. No one deserves to be treated like that. No excuse of "systematic oppression" justifies poor individual choices. However don't stew too much about it. If you do she wins. You did nothing wrong. You are also wrong. Racism has to do with POWER. Read up on it. This is part of the reason our country is in the mess it is in. White folks do not do the work. We *think* we know. We do not. People of color can have prejudice. They can discriminate but racism involves power and white people have it. You are feeling fragile. I get it. But what I am telling you is that you have a lot to learn and you will eventually understand if you do the work. Usually I do not get involved in all of this. I am not as eloquent as some of the more vocal peas. But what I do know- that as a white person, I have to start speaking up. I appreciate that you are defending what is obviously a very cherished and tender belief. However there are some holes in your logic. You tell me people of color are allowed to have prejudices and discriminate based on race, but then say that isn't racism. That is the very definition of racism. You tell me racism is about power, does that mean when the Irish who migrated to the United States in the 1840's, and were targeted with hate crimes, is not an example of racism? By your definition it couldn't be racism becuase everyone was white. They were all white, who had the power? I'd venture that the Irish would tell you it wasn't them. Look I have no problem with the fact that you want to apologize for the fact that you are white. Go ahead. It's a free country, but my sense of reason, logic and fair play tell me that prejudices based on a person's skin color or ethnicity is racist. |
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,375
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Post by cycworker on Dec 4, 2019 6:09:48 GMT
You are also wrong. Racism has to do with POWER. Read up on it. This is part of the reason our country is in the mess it is in. White folks do not do the work. We *think* we know. We do not. People of color can have prejudice. They can discriminate but racism involves power and white people have it. You are feeling fragile. I get it. But what I am telling you is that you have a lot to learn and you will eventually understand if you do the work. Usually I do not get involved in all of this. I am not as eloquent as some of the more vocal peas. But what I do know- that as a white person, I have to start speaking up. I appreciate that you are defending what is obviously a very cherished and tender belief. However there are some holes in your logic. You tell me people of color are allowed to have prejudices and discriminate based on race, but then say that isn't racism. That is the very definition of racism. You tell me racism is about power, does that mean when the Irish who migrated to the United States in the 1840's, and were targeted with hate crimes, is not an example of racism? By your definition it couldn't be racism becuase everyone was white. They were all white, who had the power? I'd venture that the Irish would tell you it wasn't them. Look I have no problem with the fact that you want to apologize for the fact that you are white. Go ahead. It's a free country, but my sense of reason, logic and fair play tell me that prejudices based on a person's skin color or ethnicity is racist. Then you don't understand racism . |
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
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Post by ashley on Dec 4, 2019 12:34:25 GMT
I disagree that racism involves who is in power — it is about putting down another group of individuals based on their cultural attributes and the belief that your own culture is superior. you are free to disagree but you would be wrong. This isn't my opinion. ok, well, all the definitions and courses I’ve taken on racism say you’re wrong, so I’m not too concerned. |
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Post by elaine on Dec 4, 2019 12:43:23 GMT
I think there are White people who certainly don’t have tolerance for their own race. It could be a person from Asian descent, Indian decent, etc. I’m not trying to point fingers anywhere. I actually went back a few times thinking I missed something in the post. Lol! POC means “persons of color” and includes Asians, Indians, Native Americans, Latinos, etc. While people who are black are POC, so are many many other people in our country, including the examples you gave. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Dec 4, 2019 12:52:26 GMT
I think the bigger picture is being missed.
I had something similar happen to me a few months ago. I was turning off a busy street into a busy gas station. A car was facing me but not moving and in the 2 seconds of me pulling in I drove around her and pulled into the parking spot. What I didn't know is that it was her intention to back into the very same parking spot. I assumed she was waiting for me to get out of her way so she could exit. I was trying to be kind and get out of her way and the misunderstanding is that I ended up taking her parking spot.
She pulled behind my car trapping me in and got out screaming at me. Some phrases involving my race. I apologized to her. I said I misunderstood and was trying to be kind by getting the heck out of her way so she could exit. And that I'd be happy to move. She continued screaming. Went into the store all while my car was trapped. Came out then sped away.
I sat there shocked and quite frankly I was scared because the level of anger she felt I wondered if it would escalate.
When that subsided, I wasn't angry. I was sad. Sad that this women's experience in life was such that she's so used to being disrespected because of her race that she assumed that's exactly what I was doing to her too. Because that's the real hurt. When a minority lashes out at a white person like that it is because they have years of racial incidents leading up to it that they assume your mistake is another slap in their face. No matter how right or innocent your intentions might be. And isn't that sad? Isn't that a sad commentary on the world we live in that people are so oppressed they assume we are doing it too? And I left there feeling very poorly that I couldn't make it right with her. I was sad that I was going to be another disrespectful incident instead of a positive experience.
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