The Great Carpezio
Pearl Clutcher
Something profound goes here.
Posts: 2,920 
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Post by The Great Carpezio on Nov 29, 2019 16:38:24 GMT
The weird gift thread had a few people talking about kids and phones, and it’s been a while since I’ve seen this discussion (but may have missed it, so I’m sorry if this has been done lately).
My boys started asking for phones, seriously, around nine. They are turning 12 next month and got their first cell phones two days ago as their early birthday presents.
They did get iPhone 8’s because we got them free with a new line on ATT.
I had always told them that at 12 I would consider it. I didn’t like the idea of them having them in elementary. It seemed about 60% or more had them by fifth grade. In sixth it seems most have them, but that is certainly an unofficial assessment. I think all but maybe one of my son’s hockey team has them. They are 11 to 13.
For the most part, it wasn’t a burden not having them. However, There were a couple things——we don’t have a home phone line (but we did download and use kids messenger when I left them at home —-and now this year Snapchat—- so they could communicate with me from their iPads).
Also, like many told me they would, things just got crazier suddenly in middle school. Hockey player takes bus to my mom’s after school but has practice at varying times, at varying lengths and in varying locations most nights, Other son is in robotics for two hours a day after school, Dh has been working crazy hours, I teach and always have stuff going on. We have multiple games, practices, tournaments, a lot more homework, friend commitments....it was inconvenient once in a while before, now it’s getting “almost” necessary.
Anyone can chime in, but if your kids are GenZ age when did or are you getting phones? Millennial parents can chime in, but understand the data is a bit old.
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Violette Vixen
Full Member
Jenn
Posts: 292
Location: The Poconos, PA
Nov 27, 2019 19:11:25 GMT
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Post by Violette Vixen on Nov 29, 2019 16:39:45 GMT
Ours got them around 12 or 13. When they were riding the subway to school on their own. 🙂
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johnnysmom
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,682
Jun 25, 2014 21:16:33 GMT
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Post by johnnysmom on Nov 29, 2019 16:44:18 GMT
Can’t remember exactly but Ds (now 18) was either 11 or 12 (def middle school). We tried a trackfone but they didn’t work where we are (rural) so before long we got him an older (not ancient, similar to your boys getting an 8... a couple models back) iphone. That was the age when he started going places without adults, had practices that could change, etc. I expect ds9 will be a similar age when he gets his first phone (much to his dismay🙄)
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psiluvu
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,217
Location: Canada's Capital
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Post by psiluvu on Nov 29, 2019 16:46:00 GMT
Both of mine got them as "graduation" gifts from grade 6. They were a very basic no frills models They are now in grade 11 and 3rd year university and I still pay the monthly bill but they pay for the upgrades to their phones. I think now one has the iPhone xs and one has the Iphone 8.
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Post by leslie132 on Nov 29, 2019 16:47:07 GMT
My husband has a hard rule that the kids have to be 14/ 8th grade. I would have caved because “everyone else has one” , but I’m glad we didn’t. He appreciates it more and he understands that we mean what we say about being smart with what you do on the phone.
My twins turn 7 in January and a phone is in their list. They like to copy their big brother. It’s going to be a long additional 7 years.
One thing that really pushed me was getting rid of the home phone. I agree there has to be a line available to make an emergency call. We waited until we gave him the phone before we shut off the home phone. He also pays a portion of the bill every other month. I like to use the whole phone as a lesson in being responsible!
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Post by Merge on Nov 29, 2019 16:51:07 GMT
6th grade - which is the beginning of middle school here.
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garcia5050
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,728
Location: So. Calif.
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Post by garcia5050 on Nov 29, 2019 16:52:21 GMT
I believe we did 8th grade/13 years old. I was hoping to push it to high school, but didn’t, they had been asking since they were 9. Of course, lots of their friends had cell phones by 7 and 8 years old.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 5, 2024 12:33:04 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 29, 2019 17:02:05 GMT
Dd got hers for her 13th birthday. She got a cheap droid phone that was $99. Gave her a basic plan. She has taken great care of her phone and is respectful of our rules (hand it over no later than 8pm, ask before you download an app, no inappropriate sites - that happened 2x and we talked about it and she lost her phone for a day)
She will be getting a nice Samsung Galaxy for her 17th birthday next year.
Also dd wasn't allowed to take it to school until this year (jr) as she has after school activities and they can be used in math class for calculator and in science.
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Post by Linda on Nov 29, 2019 17:09:08 GMT
DS was 16 but he's 28 now so that was some time ago. The girls at 13 (DD13 will get at Christmas)
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
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Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Nov 29, 2019 17:09:51 GMT
Teacher hat..... they are SUCH a classroom disruption when they are on and in their pockets at school. I take several phones a week away. If they are OFF from the time they step foot on campus until the final bell rings and used properly when given permission to use it during class, I have no problem with them.
Mom hat.... when needed it will be given. Sports, staying home with no home phone and a responsible kid who follows the school rules of proper phone use and social expectations to not use it 24/7 (for example at dinner or when out socially with friends or driving) would all be valid reasons. I plan on my kid getting one sometime in high school. She will get a stripped down basic phone unless she wants to pay for a better phone and her own bill.
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Post by huskermom98 on Nov 29, 2019 17:14:18 GMT
When I need them to have one is when they get/got one.
For my oldest that was early on in 7th grade (he was 12) when he started doing middle school sports. Before that either DH or I took him to and from every sports event and pretty much everything else so there was no need for him to have one. My youngest is in 6th grade and doesn't have one yet because I haven't needed him to have one yet. He asked about one for a while, but at some point realized that he liked his tablet better for watching and playing--the only upside of a phone would be being able to do that stuff outside of the house (and we don't require him to go to big brother's events that are close by so it's not a huge issue).
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Post by crazy4scraps on Nov 29, 2019 17:19:05 GMT
Mine started asking for one when she was six. Yeah, NO, LOL. She’s nine now and has my old iPhone 6s (that has no service, so she can only use it for WiFi games, texting me or her dad, listening to music, etc. but can’t make any actual calls) when I upgraded to an 8 last summer. It was cheaper to give her my old phone than to buy her a new iPod.
We don’t have a landline home phone in the house, but I work from home so I’m almost always there. I think once she gets to middle school in two years and is able to stay home alone or go to a friend’s house after school, maybe be more involved with school activities, etc., she should probably have a phone with service. If I were to get a different full time job where I’m not home after school when she gets home, I would probably want her to have a phone in that case too just so she has one.
I think it is a combination of many people dropping their home phone lines/answering machines and kids getting really busy with sports and other activities that makes people want their kids to have a phone so they can keep tabs on them better. A phone equals more freedom for both the kid and the parents because the kids can go off and just call or text when they need to get picked up. Maybe it’s a false sense of security but it’s what people do now.
ETA: She got her own iPad when she was 8 for Christmas and she uses that all the time when she’s at home. She likes the portability of the phone to play games, etc. sometimes though.
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Post by Restless Spirit on Nov 29, 2019 17:19:53 GMT
I'm the grandmother to a 12 going on 13 yr old 7th grader. He got his iPhone XR when he turned 12. His mom works 30 min from home, his dad works 45 min from home in the opposite direction. I'm under 10 min from both his home and school. Since I'm the one that takes him to school every day and picks him up, it makes life so much easier to be able to stay in contact with him and his parents. (They have no landline at home and neither do I). For example, one day a couple of weeks ago, I got an alert from school and then a text from him telling me the school had lost power and to come and pick him up. His dad was too far away, his mom was deep inside her school building and didn't get the text, while I was there in 10 mins to get him.
He also plays AAA Travel Hockey and Travel Baseball. Between practices and games, it's been so much easier for them to keep in contact. When he went to Cooperstown for baseball he had to bunk with his teammates and Mom & Dad's hotel was a distance away. It gave them great peace of mind for him to have the iPhone.
Being able to contact me and DGS keeps all of us in the loop when work, school, hockey or baseball practices or game schedules change with little to no notice is beyond being just a convenience but really a necessity.
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iluvpink
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,281
Location: Michigan
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Post by iluvpink on Nov 29, 2019 17:20:48 GMT
DD got one for her 11th birthday, so near the end of fifth grade for her. It was 2011 and not a smart phone. She got an iPhone two years later.
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ashley
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,400
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Post by ashley on Nov 29, 2019 17:29:02 GMT
Around age of 12. Seems to be a good compromise between growing responsibility and what they’re friends are all doing/have.
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Post by LavenderLayoutLady on Nov 29, 2019 18:11:56 GMT
My kids get cell phones when they have to start getting themselves to and from school on their own. That happens to be ninth grade/ high school here.
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Nov 29, 2019 18:13:52 GMT
Girl on my FB got her newly turned 3yr old a iPhone for Christmas years ago lol. I thought it was stupid but she also owes me money so I’m bitchy about her reguardless lol.
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Post by snugglebutter on Nov 29, 2019 18:16:47 GMT
My oldest will get one next year for ninth grade. Most kids I know here seem to get them for middle school (7th-8th grade) but she is currently homeschooling and it's not really needed. We do have an extra phone that we pay a few dollars a month for that she uses if home alone or the occasional babysitting job.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 5, 2024 12:33:05 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Nov 29, 2019 18:20:49 GMT
I think daughter was in 4th grade. She was in a dance company.... she got my old phone because I didn’t want the studio to have my number.
Son was 16. He went sailing for the summer so we needed to stay in touch. We shared a phone.
We got rid of the landline when I got a phone.
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Post by maryland on Nov 29, 2019 18:29:36 GMT
We caved and got our daughters cell phones at 14. We lectured them on proper use of the phone, and possible legal consequences involved, being respectful to others on social media, etc. And that when they are in the car, their phone is in the back seat, turned off, etc.
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Post by Basket1lady on Nov 29, 2019 18:29:53 GMT
My kids were 12. DS was doing after school activities and I needed to be able to contact him. We did the same with DD when she turned 12. They each got smartphones when they turned 14. Their HS had a BYOD policy with 2 hour long classes where they did homework for part of the class. They needed the phones to do the homework in class. I kept them locked down pretty tight until mid-junior year.
The important thing to remember is that you need to do what is right for your family. But also realize that most kids communicate via social media/texts and your child may be left out if they aren’t able to be part of friends’ conversations.
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craftymom101
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,623
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Post by craftymom101 on Nov 29, 2019 18:31:34 GMT
My son was the last of his friends to get one. He was almost through 7th grade and was 13. He’s had it taken away twice for poor choices. The past month or so I’ve noticed he’s much more aware of his online behavior and has been make much better choices with his phone; hopefully that continues.
My youngest son, who is 10, thinks he needs a phone. Nope! I told him to ask when he turns 13.
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Post by worldwanderer75 on Nov 29, 2019 18:33:43 GMT
We've gotten our kids phones the summer before they enter high school (age 14.5 for my kids). So far it's worked out just fine. We live overseas and that seems to be the timing of most of their friends as well. I can't imagine getting them much earlier since I find that my kids are plenty distracted by their phones. I have 2 younger kids that don't have phones yet but they know not to even ask until after 8th grade. We have time limits on their apps and bedtimes set where their phones turn off by a certain time every night.
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Post by bc2ca on Nov 29, 2019 18:40:10 GMT
The kids were 11 &13 and in 6th & 8th grades. DD had been wanting a phone for ages and we decided to get her one when my 2 year contract came up in October. Shopping around, the best deal included a third line/phone for free.
She was not happy that DS got his first phone at the same time. He really didn't care but was the one I needed to have a phone more because of activities and carpools.
Whenever we upgraded, DD always pays the difference to get the best iPhone available while DS and I usually take advantage of getting older phones deals.
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seaexplore
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,410
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Nov 29, 2019 18:40:43 GMT
Girl on my FB got her newly turned 3yr old a iPhone for Christmas years ago lol. I thought it was stupid but she also owes me money so I’m bitchy about her reguardless lol. Move over on your bench. I’ll join ya. |
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
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Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on Nov 29, 2019 19:46:46 GMT
As soon as they were walking to and from school on their own. So one was in grade 4 and the other in grade 6.
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Post by freecharlie on Nov 29, 2019 20:00:27 GMT
Ods got a flip phone when he was 7 or 8 years old.
I dont remember when yds got his first.
First smart phones were in middle school
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iowgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,123
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Post by iowgirl on Nov 29, 2019 20:04:48 GMT
My kids are not really kids any more... all in mid-20's. But they got their first phone at 14 when they started driving to school/started high school.
They bought their own smart phones when they went to college.
I know the smart phone is now about the only phone, but I am glad they didn't have it when they were in school.
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janeliz
Drama Llama
I'm the Wiz and nobody beats me.
Posts: 5,633
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Post by janeliz on Nov 29, 2019 20:10:50 GMT
My girls got them around 7th grade. That was the year that they started staying after school for sports and activities, so the phones made it easier to arrange pickups, etc.
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Post by gale w on Nov 29, 2019 20:31:42 GMT
Not until they were older, but we homeschooled. If they were in public school my daughter with food allergies would definitely have had one at an early age. When the kids were younger I had a spare tracfone that I gave them for when they were away from home. My son used to go to pokemon tournaments with his friend and his friend's dad so at that time I got a cheap smartphone for all the kids to share since it had internet access, maps, etc. When pokemon go came out my son was 17 and the shared phone didn't work for it so at that time he got his first personal smartphone and my daughter (at that point she was 20) got one for herself as well. Up until then they just used the shared phones.
They also weren't allowed to sign up for any websites, including social media, until they were 13, and no rated M games in the house until they were at least 16 (my youngest was the only one who ever wanted any so the others were older already anyway).
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