Why do we treat people better...

i would take the higher road there... who wants to be dragged into the mud with the pig??

eventually, people like your SIL continue to do what they do and people learn who they are. i don't believe it's *my* job to yell from the rooftops. those dumbasses will do themselves in, eventually.

As mentioned above--often we don't want to let the world know the ugly things in the family.

Often it eventually comes out and then the guilty one gets their due.

Keep taking the high road, although I know it is hard.

What an awful situation, especially since it sounds like the whole town now knows her side of it. I’m sorry. You are the better person, even though it is hard. (((Hugs)))

If you justifiably bad mouth her, there is a high likelihood that she will use that to play the victim for some - “Poor me! see what a b*tch, SIL TankTop is to me?” No point in giving her anything to fuel the drama with.

I like to think it's because we chose to take the high road.

Because you are the better person! You took the high road and people will admire you for not getting into mud slinging. The person who asked you may even know about what has gone on in your family so you may have saved both of you from a long, embarrassing encounter.

I'm so very sorry you are having to deal with your SIL at holidays and other family events. It must be awkward for you, your DH, and your BIL especially, but for everyone else too.

Because we make a conscious decision to rise above the pettiness? That’s all I got.

I would be furious if I were you, and I don’t know that I would be able to keep my mouth shut in this situation. Esp with her badmouthing you all over town on top of trying to steal your husband.

I have to agree with these ladies... it's because you take the high road. It's difficult though especially since she's talking smack. And she'll get what's coming to her eventually. People like that tend to dig their own graves and people usually see them for what they are.

Because women are programed from a very early age to be nice, stay in your place and above all else do not offend anyone no matter how horrible a person they are. While there are times it is better to take the high road most times it leaves one feeling frustrated and less than.

I have found looking back over my life, in the times before I found my voice, when I sucked it up and took the so called high road are the times that I regret the most. I should have let it fly. There have been times when I have mouthed off and maybe shouldn't have but I don't regret those times nor do I think about it. I do remember the times that I should have been stood up for myself, been brutally frank and said what I wanted to and didn't. Those times still bother me at times.

Don't ever hold back calling a jerk a jerk. It will haunt you that you didn't speak up. In most cases the high road is highly overrated. Call a skanky, whore of a bitch a skanky, whore of a bitch....in public. It is so liberating! And fuck anyone who takes offense. Those people are not your friends.

To me there is a difference between not fueling the drama and replying in kind. If someone confronts me, you best believe they’re going to get what they give but I’m certainly not going around bad mouthing people and looking for trouble. Why drag other people into my business?

This made me smile. As of a few months ago I can say truthfully, 'He is dead!'

My priority is to be true to who I know myself to be. I refuse to be baited into mudslinging and name-calling. As I taught my sons over and over, "Never let someone else's behavior determine your own."

That said, I do have a way with words and a well-placed facial expression or two. I can tell someone exactly what I think of a person like your SIL without ever stepping off my high road. As we southern women say, "Bless her heart."

Merry Christmas to her hemorrhoid AND her yeast infection. I hope she gets a bout of diarrhea to boot. Ho ho ho (literally)!

Because you obviously have much more class and integrity.

In my many years of observation of people, I’ve noticed that those who must tell everyone their business typically feel guilty about the situation and are hoping that the best defense is a detailed offense spread all over town, true or not.  She is trying to sell her side in the hopes they buy it.  

Speaking for myself, when someone tries to oversell a story like this, I don’t buy a word of it.  In fact, it makes me think less of them.  I bet there are many people who feel the same way that I do and her blabbering is just making her look bad.