samantha25
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Posts: 2,912 
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Post by samantha25 on Mar 11, 2020 17:35:51 GMT
She has been undergoing chemotherapy every 3 weeks since June for parotid gland cancer. She developed neuropathy and made it hard for her to walk so they took her off paclitaxel for a few weeks, but the carboplatin alone was ineffective (tumor grew). Now she is trying a newer generation of the paclitaxel and taking Neulasta to boost white blood cells. She said that as of today, they are traveling from St. Louis to Las Vegas for vacation next week. This makes me sad, but it's her life and maybe her last chance to go. UGH! I am a wreck. She did not say if her doctor said it was ok to travel.
UPDATE: I just need to vent.... Talked to mom today and she said that she developed a blood clot in her leg several weeks ago. She is taking a blood thinner and upped her "water pill", so blood clot gone. She talked with her dr. about traveling and he said it's ok and btw he's traveling to Las Vegas a week after her travels. I asked if he mentioned the risks with Coronavirus and she said, no, why... She's read on FB that it's a conspiracy theory and the virus is manufactured and has parts of several viruses and that the flu has killed more people....... WTF! I can't believe that the doctor did not mention anything about her risk factors for traveling with Coronavirus. This is the Siteman Cancer Center. Maybe it's an end of life moment for her and the big hurrah, IDK. I did mention that things were shutting down in Vegas and she should check on what would be available.
FINAL-....not going, really relieved...but her text affirming this to me was, well...funny? Idk....here was the response and Lambert is the st. Louis airport.
"We're flying direct from Lambert......lol not going"
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Post by mom on Mar 11, 2020 17:45:21 GMT
Ugh, I am sorry. If she was my mom, I would encourage her to call her dr and let them know - that way the Dr is the bad guy if he thinks her going is too risky.
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Post by jenjie on Mar 11, 2020 18:11:51 GMT
Ugh, I am sorry. If she was my mom, I would encourage her to call her dr and let them know - that way the Dr is the bad guy if he thinks her going is too risky. Excellent. I’m sorry your mom has this added jeopardy. |
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Post by workingclassdog on Mar 11, 2020 18:16:52 GMT
Oh it is so hard to see our parents get old.. they can still make decisions but there is a line somewhere that some decisions are not the best. The us kids are the bad guys trying to help. I believe my mom, who is 81, still makes good decisions and pretty level headed.. She would cancel in a heartbeat. But I am still waiting for that day. I hope they change their minds!!
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Mar 11, 2020 18:23:34 GMT
Ugh, I am sorry. If she was my mom, I would encourage her to call her dr and let them know - that way the Dr is the bad guy if he thinks her going is too risky. EXCELLENT suggestion! |
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Post by dewryce on Mar 11, 2020 18:26:03 GMT
Ugh, I am sorry. If she was my mom, I would encourage her to call her dr and let them know - that way the Dr is the bad guy if he thinks her going is too risky. I think this is a good idea. Frankly, I’m surprised they didn’t automatically address her increased risks at her last appt even if she hadn’t mentioned her travel. |
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Post by librarylady on Mar 11, 2020 19:19:47 GMT
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Post by malibou on Mar 11, 2020 19:49:32 GMT
I'm sorry about your mom's parotid gland cancer, it is a grumpy one. I would also try to dump this on the dr.
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Post by elaine on Mar 11, 2020 19:53:08 GMT
If her counts are off enough that she needs Neulasta, she has no business going to Vegas - even if the Coronavirus wasn’t going around. I agree with the others, let her doctor be the bad guy.
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zella
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Posts: 3,884
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Post by zella on Mar 12, 2020 3:16:59 GMT
Can you not be honest with her? Tell her does she realize she's risking her life? Maybe she knows and doesn't care, just wants one last hurrah. I'd make sure they have travel health insurance too. Her doctor would definitely say it's not okay, but it's her choice, and it's not fair to make him the bad guy if she's determined to go. I'm sorry, I know this must be very difficult for you.
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zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884
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Post by zella on Mar 12, 2020 3:17:14 GMT
Sorry, double post.
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Post by refugeepea on Mar 12, 2020 5:25:46 GMT
Oh it is so hard to see our parents get old.. they can still make decisions but there is a line somewhere that some decisions are not the best. The us kids are the bad guys trying to help. I believe my mom, who is 81, still makes good decisions and pretty level headed.. She would cancel in a heartbeat. But I am still waiting for that day. I hope they change their minds!! I told my mom (she's 75) I wanted to take her to see Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons in July. She told me I might not be around. I said Oh! are you going on vacation somewhere? She went on a cruise last year. "No, that's not what I meant." I yelled MOM! You'll be fine and you are going! Since my dad died, I hate to hear some of the comments she makes. 
I hope things are under control with the virus by July. You know there's going to be a lot of old people there!  |
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samantha25
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Posts: 2,912
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Post by samantha25 on Mar 13, 2020 4:13:50 GMT
Bumping with a vent/update in OP
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zella
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,884
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Post by zella on Mar 13, 2020 4:47:12 GMT
Well, I guess there's no hope then, is there? Your mother believes that crap and the doctor is a complete moron.
I'm really sorry.
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samantha25
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,912
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Post by samantha25 on Mar 13, 2020 4:58:19 GMT
Well, I guess there's no hope then, is there? Your mother believes that crap and the doctor is a complete moron. I'm really sorry. Agreed... Her party of friends will travel and surprisingly everyone will be fine and then they will all say.. "see what was everyone freaking out about, we had the best time, etc..." Can't wait for that idea to go around FB.... |
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Post by dewryce on Mar 13, 2020 5:05:08 GMT
Do you think she’s being honest with you? I just can not imagine an oncologist not telling her the risks of germs in her immune compromised state. Even without COVID19 going around. Colds can be dangerous. I say this very gently, is it possible she is late in her disease and doesn’t want you to try and talk her out of it? And thinks you might not worry since her doctor said it was okay?
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Post by roberta on Mar 13, 2020 5:06:27 GMT
I’m sorry you have this to deal with on top of her being ill.
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samantha25
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,912
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Post by samantha25 on Mar 13, 2020 5:09:52 GMT
Do you think she’s being honest with you? I just can not imagine an oncologist not telling her the risks of germs in her immune compromised state. Even without COVID19 going around. Colds can be dangerous. I say this very gently, is it possible she is late in her disease and doesn’t want you to try and talk her out of it? And thinks you might not worry since her doctor said it was okay? That's kind of what I'm thinking... but when talking with her she sounds like her old self. Even when she said, "the flu kills more people than Coronavirus"... she falls in the category of dying from the flu, too. She said... it is what it is... Thanks for your reply... |
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Post by dewryce on Mar 13, 2020 5:12:10 GMT
Do you think she’s being honest with you? I just can not imagine an oncologist not telling her the risks of germs in her immune compromised state. Even without COVID19 going around. Colds can be dangerous. I say this very gently, is it possible she is late in her disease and doesn’t want you to try and talk her out of it? And thinks you might not worry since her doctor said it was okay? That's kind of what I'm thinking... but when talking with her she sounds like her old self. Even when she said, "the flu kills more people than Coronavirus"... she falls in the category of dying from the flu, too. She said... it is what it is... Thanks for your reply... I hope that is not the case and it is more that she’s drinking the koolaid. If she goes, I hope it is wonderful and she stays as healthy as possible. I’m sorry, this must be so difficult for you. |
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Post by mikklynn on Mar 13, 2020 11:22:50 GMT
Ugh, how frustrating. I hope she ends up staying home.
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Post by hop2 on Mar 13, 2020 12:25:34 GMT
I’m sorry your worried.
My parents lied to me when they were ill. My dad was not regularly a liar so when he did it stuck out like a neon sign. But my dad wasn’t putting anyone else at risk, just himself so how could I tell him no?
I hope your mom is ok and doesn’t put anyone else at risk
Hugs
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Post by elaine on Mar 13, 2020 13:12:26 GMT
Do you think she’s being honest with you? I just can not imagine an oncologist not telling her the risks of germs in her immune compromised state. Even without COVID19 going around. Colds can be dangerous. I say this very gently, is it possible she is late in her disease and doesn’t want you to try and talk her out of it? And thinks you might not worry since her doctor said it was okay? I think this too. |
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Post by scrapmaven on Mar 13, 2020 16:49:19 GMT
I agree with dewryce. Sick people and elderly people aren't always honest about their health. I'm sorry that you have this worry. |
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freebird
Drama Llama
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Post by freebird on Mar 13, 2020 16:53:31 GMT
Here's what I'd say to my mom. Keep in mind I'm a pretty blunt person.
So mom, just so you know. If you get sick and things go down and are really overwhelming, you'll be in the group of people that they decide is too far gone and will allow to die so they can treat others more apt to live.
Like in Italy.
*dead silence*
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Post by librarylady on Mar 13, 2020 17:16:53 GMT
Who knows what is going on in her mind? I really doubt her doctor agreed with her decision.
Maybe she is tired and has a death wish--or is going to make this last trip and all caution throw to the wind.
I am sorry she is making you worry.
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samantha25
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,912
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Post by samantha25 on Mar 17, 2020 1:10:55 GMT
My mom still waiting to hear from her travel agent on any updates. trip scheduled to leave on the 18th. I texted her that she should consider postponing....
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samantha25
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,912
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Post by samantha25 on Mar 18, 2020 3:02:03 GMT
Final update in op
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Mar 18, 2020 3:51:39 GMT
I'm glad she decided not to go... I was just coming to let you know I'd gotten notification from the Caesars group that they're closing their Nevada properties through April 16. Between that, MGM, and Wynn, that's pretty much everything on the strip. |
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Post by dewryce on Mar 18, 2020 4:54:21 GMT
So glad she’s not going!
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Post by sleepingbooty on Mar 18, 2020 4:58:28 GMT
Relieved for you, samantha25. I've noticed this air of nonchalance everywhere regarding the new coronavirus so I'm not surprised at the text she sent you. |
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