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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Jul 9, 2020 17:13:31 GMT
I am married, but childless....not necessarily by choice...I was 40 something when I got married...so really that ship had sailed! No one has ever asked what I scrap...however I was just thinking recently, what will become of all my scrapbooks My best friend never married or had children. I’m the one who will inherit her scrapbooks. I know the work and expense that went into them as well as how much they mean to her. I will go through them and divide them up among the other people who appear in them per her wishes.
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TXMary
Pearl Clutcher
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean. God, I wish I was sailin' again.
Posts: 2,811
Jun 26, 2014 17:25:06 GMT
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Post by TXMary on Jul 9, 2020 17:20:56 GMT
I am married and childless, not by choice but kids never happened for us and we are now 58 and 60 so the dream is over. We have a good life. I have also been asked why I scrapbook.
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wmninchrge
Shy Member
Posts: 21
Jul 2, 2014 12:16:54 GMT
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Post by wmninchrge on Jul 9, 2020 17:34:59 GMT
Single, never married. No kids. Very independent.
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Post by christine58 on Jul 9, 2020 17:37:26 GMT
Are there any other peas here who are single and childless? Me...
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Post by Lexica on Jul 9, 2020 17:48:18 GMT
My son and his fiancé are not going to have children. Apparently there are quite a few of his friends who are of the same mindset. It seems to be a very common trend these days as opposed to when I was young where there was an expectation on every female to marry and have children. They adopted a cat instead. He says when they eventually move out of their apartment and buy a home, they will adopt a dog. I'm obviously sad for myself that I won't have grand babies but I respect their decision. They just don't want to bring children into this world.
My oldest sister has two children, now adults, who do not plan on having children either. My niece is in her early 40s now and is a model and actress. She travels a lot and although she dated a lot, she never married and is not in a longterm relationship. My nephew is 38 and unmarried and has no plans to change that. At least I think he is still single. I don't see my sister now that Mom is gone. I assume if he had married, my son would mention it.
My sister was very disappointed and used to comment on it frequently at every family gathering, trying to guilt her children into it. Like that is going to work. I figure it is their decision and you just have to respect that. And in my son's case, he had cancer treatment as a child and some of the paperwork we signed during his many treatments warned that there was a very good chance that he would be rendered sterile from the chemicals so he might not be able to father children anyway. His not wanting any makes the probable sterility a nonissue and avoids the pain he would have dealt with if they did want to have kids.
Several of my friends have grown children who don't plan to have children of their own. Some are married and others are in longterm relationships. I'm curious what the statistics are as compared to when I was in my 20s and having children was an unspoken expectation.
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QueenoftheSloths
Drama Llama
Member Since January 2004, 2,698 forum posts PeaNut Number: 122614 PeaBoard Title: StuckOnPeas
Posts: 5,955
Jun 26, 2014 0:29:24 GMT
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Post by QueenoftheSloths on Jul 9, 2020 17:48:48 GMT
Not single but childless by choice. Me too, although DH has children from his first marriage. But since they are almost my age I don't consider them my stepkids, just his kids.
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Post by KelleeM on Jul 9, 2020 17:58:30 GMT
I am married, but childless....not necessarily by choice...I was 40 something when I got married...so really that ship had sailed! No one has ever asked what I scrap...however I was just thinking recently, what will become of all my scrapbooks My best friend never married or had children. I’m the one who will inherit her scrapbooks. I know the work and expense that went into them as well as how much they mean to her. I will go through them and divide them up among the other people who appear in them per her wishes. Kar...Meg will take them! I’ll be VERY old by the time you’re gone!!
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anaterra
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,844
Location: Texas
Jun 29, 2014 3:04:02 GMT
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Post by anaterra on Jul 9, 2020 18:02:29 GMT
I am single but in the process of going through fertility treatments to have a child ❤️ Good luck!!!
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Post by Sparki on Jul 9, 2020 18:07:41 GMT
Not single but childless by choice. Me too, although DH has children from his first marriage. But since they are almost my age I don't consider them my stepkids, just his kids. Same exactly. Actually, his children are slightly older than me. lol
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 18, 2024 7:45:45 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 9, 2020 18:48:41 GMT
I am married and childless, but not by choice. Years ago I had someone snarkily ask me what I scrapbook if I don’t have any kids. That was fun. My 2 older sisters are not married, and both are childless. And not by choice. They are successful, attractive women, but for whatever reason neither one of them have ever found someone to settle down with. My younger sister is not married and childless. Mostly by choice. I used to say things like "She's attractive, but never found someone to settle down with..." etc. But I don't do that anymore. I felt like it was feeding into the stereotype that single women must be unattractive, and that's why I had to make sure to say, "but she's attractive." So, now, if people ask, I just say "Nope. Single and happy."
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Post by heathers on Jul 9, 2020 19:16:41 GMT
I am married and childless, but not by choice. Years ago I had someone snarkily ask me what I scrapbook if I don’t have any kids. That was fun. My 2 older sisters are not married, and both are childless. And not by choice. They are successful, attractive women, but for whatever reason neither one of them have ever found someone to settle down with. My younger sister is not married and childless. Mostly by choice. I used to say things like "She's attractive, but never found someone to settle down with..." etc. But I don't do that anymore. I felt like it was feeding into the stereotype that single women must be unattractive, and that's why I had to make sure to say, "but she's attractive." So, now, if people ask, I just say "Nope. Single and happy." I appreciate this I don’t consider myself unattractive and do okay for myself in a high COL city. I do think the fact that I am so secure in just doing my own thing in life does ‘scare off’ some men. I’m also okay with being alone and I hope people don’t look at it as a bad thing if I (or other women) never marry.
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Post by darkchami on Jul 9, 2020 19:22:19 GMT
I am married and childless, but not by choice. Years ago I had someone snarkily ask me what I scrapbook if I don’t have any kids. That was fun. My 2 older sisters are not married, and both are childless. And not by choice. They are successful, attractive women, but for whatever reason neither one of them have ever found someone to settle down with. This is me. We wanted children, but it just wasn’t in the cards. I scrapbook for myself. I am married, but my husband would describe me as independent. Before all of this mess, I was planning a vacation by myself because my husband wouldn’t enjoy the destination. Our house is two stories. Often I will be upstairs, and he will be downstairs. Married life doesn’t look much different than single life. I did get married later than most. I totally understand feeling like an outsider.
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Post by mnmloveli on Jul 9, 2020 19:33:43 GMT
Married for 24 years but childless by choice. We met when I was 36 & DH was 32. We both had lots of nieces and nephews and no desire for our own. We love our life.
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Post by 505scrapper on Jul 9, 2020 19:39:46 GMT
Single and childless. Same situation as OP, not on purpose just never found the right person. However, for the past 13 years I've helped my sister raise her two kids (13 and 8). They all lived with me on and off over the course of those 13 years. Well, this past April, my sister passed away. As neither of the dads were involved in the kids lives and since they were living with me at the time, I've inherited two kids. Life hasn't changed much other than my sister not being here, because the kids were living with me at the time and I've supported them for the most part all these years. So, in a sense, I'm not childless any longer.
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katybee
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,378
Jun 25, 2014 23:25:39 GMT
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Post by katybee on Jul 9, 2020 19:46:50 GMT
While we are talking about board demographics, I have another question to ask. I've never been married and have no children. Not on purpose- I just never found anyone to marry. I would have loved to have a husband and kids. But that is all water under the bridge now. I think I live a very different lifestyle than a lot of you. I mentioned this in another thread, but I essentially live the same lifestyle I did when I was in my twenties. Are there any other peas here who are single and childless? I’m the same as you. I never intended to NOT have kids....I love them. I just never did. I sometimes get pangs if regret. But then I think about how tired I am with just a puppy and get over it.
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Post by 950nancy on Jul 9, 2020 20:05:56 GMT
I am married and childless, but not by choice. Years ago I had someone snarkily ask me what I scrapbook if I don’t have any kids. That was fun. My 2 older sisters are not married, and both are childless. And not by choice. They are successful, attractive women, but for whatever reason neither one of them have ever found someone to settle down with. I’ve had several bitches say that to me over the years at crops. I told the last one to eat a bag of dicks. Some people think their way is the only way. They simply cannot fathom not raising kids as an option. I wonder if she took your advice.
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Post by 950nancy on Jul 9, 2020 20:08:07 GMT
I am single but in the process of going through fertility treatments to have a child ❤️ My good friend married at 40 and then had fertility treatments. She got pregnant pretty quickly after that. Good luck!
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Post by travelsoul on Jul 9, 2020 20:40:16 GMT
I’m married with a kid but I’m replying because 1. I didn’t get married and have a kid until later in life. I’m 45 with a 5 year old. I really feel that because of this, I act (whether it’s good or bad) the same age as the younger moms. People are always surprised to learn I’m 45. And 2nd reason, I have several friends in their early 50’s who are single and without kids. They also look and act way younger!!
Spouses and kids age you!!!
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Jul 9, 2020 22:20:02 GMT
I am currently single and childless.
I was together with/married from 18 to almost 32. I was together with/lived with boyfriend from 34 to 45. I have now been single since I was 45, now I am 55. I dated a couple different men (one at 46, one at 48) but neither lasted more than a couple/few months.
I never wanted children. I have never regretted that choice.
I haven't dated since I was 48. I love, love, love my freedom. I do what I want, and don't have to compromise with anyone. Being in a relationship means compromise. I have no desire to go back to a situation in which compromise occurs, as it does when one is in a relationship, especially if living together with someone else. Never say never....I am not opposed to being with someone. But, I would have an extremely hard time letting go of my freedom as I know it. With any relationship would come a shift, and taking someone else into consideration and compromising is part of the package. The longer I am single, the more I want to remain single. It would have to be the right person for me to give up single and all the freedom it entails.
Up until two and a half-ish years ago, I always lived with someone(Family, Husband, boyfriend, room-mate). At the age of 52 1/2-ish, I moved into a little studio all by myself and I absolutely love it. For the first time in my life the decor is all my choice only, no compromising with anyone, no incorporating someone else's stuff in the mix.
I love being single. I love living by myself. I am in charge of everything. I make all the decisions. My money is mine and I spend it (or not) how I want. My home (as small as it is) is decorated to suit me. I sleep when I want. I eat only what I want to. Stay home when I want. Go out when I want to. I am very content.
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boymama
Shy Member
Posts: 20
Mar 11, 2018 3:17:12 GMT
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Post by boymama on Jul 9, 2020 22:24:51 GMT
I’m single, not by choice, just the way life’s gone so far. I did choose not to be childless, so I used a sperm donor to get pregnant- I have a 3 year old son, now 10 weeks pregnant with another baby boy. I definitely think it helps the community to hear from people outside of the majority demographic, so don’t feel like you shouldn’t contribute to conversations just because you aren’t married with 3 kids and a dog.
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Post by snoopy on Jul 9, 2020 22:48:02 GMT
I started dating my husband when I was 16, and we married just after I turned 23, so finding the right person was not a challenge, but we do not have children. We never made a definite decision to not have them, but we never got to the point of feeling like it was something we wanted. The older we got, the less appealing children seamed.
I do think it’s been surprising to my family that we don’t have kids. I was always the go-to babysitter as a teen. My sister always swore that she would never have kids and her daughter is soon to be 13 years old!
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Jul 9, 2020 22:50:30 GMT
I too, have heard the "what do you scrapbook" comment. As if I have no life.
I've also heard "you're lucky, to have so much free time". People seem to think I can do a favor, errand, provide a ride, etc... at any given time or on a moments notice.....because I'm single and no kids.
My pet peeve, is the comment "must be nice to sleep all day". My reply is always the same >> "I sleep 6-8 hours in 24 hour period". It just so happens that my sleep times are usually outside the "normal" sleep parameters deemed by society.
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Post by scrapmaven on Jul 9, 2020 23:46:03 GMT
My sil travels all over the world. She is a wonderful auntie and considers my kids her kids. Children didn't fit into her lifestyle. Nevrtheless, she has a full and fantastic life. She does have a partner. He's a great guy and also never wanted kids. They've been together for many years. If you're single and don't have the responsibility of children then enjoy and embrace your freedom.
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Post by warrior1991 on Jul 10, 2020 0:11:29 GMT
Divorced for 22 years now, no kids. I'm 47 years old. Never felt like getting remarried. I love spoiling my niece and nephews and my friend's kids. I always assumed I would have kids. But when the divorce happened and I didn't get remarried right away, I realized I had a choice and I could focus on the other kids in my life.
"The why do you scrapbook" question comes to me more so after they find out I don't have pets either. I get blank stares.
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Post by 950nancy on Jul 10, 2020 2:02:18 GMT
Divorced for 22 years now, no kids. I'm 47 years old. Never felt like getting remarried. I love spoiling my niece and nephews and my friend's kids. I always assumed I would have kids. But when the divorce happened and I didn't get remarried right away, I realized I had a choice and I could focus on the other kids in my life. "The why do you scrapbook" question comes to me more so after they find out I don't have pets either. I get blank stares. I often wonder how many of us have kids who might not actually want the books. Having kids isn't a guarantee the books will be kept. And I am pretty sure none of my pets will want them either. My kids are kind enough to tell me they want them, but we will see.
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Post by prapea on Jul 10, 2020 2:22:55 GMT
My personal opinion- ya’ll are child-free and not child-less. If ever, you get hit with a “child” bug, I am sure one of us peas can let you borrow our teenagers and ya’ll will be so glad that you are child/free....lololol
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Post by berty on Jul 10, 2020 2:32:30 GMT
I too am single and childless.
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Post by hookedonpeas on Jul 10, 2020 3:24:44 GMT
🙋🏼♀️. Single and childless. God knew me better than I knew myself. I wanted so badly to have 4 kids, names picked out and all. I cannot image being married or having children. I’m very content with my life.
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peabay
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,616
Jun 25, 2014 19:50:41 GMT
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Post by peabay on Jul 10, 2020 3:34:05 GMT
Single and childless. Same situation as OP, not on purpose just never found the right person. However, for the past 13 years I've helped my sister raise her two kids (13 and 8). They all lived with me on and off over the course of those 13 years. Well, this past April, my sister passed away. As neither of the dads were involved in the kids lives and since they were living with me at the time, I've inherited two kids. Life hasn't changed much other than my sister not being here, because the kids were living with me at the time and I've supported them for the most part all these years. So, in a sense, I'm not childless any longer. Wow! How lucky they are to have you!!!
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luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,421
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
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Post by luvnlifelady on Jul 10, 2020 4:46:03 GMT
My son and his fiancé are not going to have children. Apparently there are quite a few of his friends who are of the same mindset. It seems to be a very common trend these days as opposed to when I was young where there was an expectation on every female to marry and have children. They adopted a cat instead. He says when they eventually move out of their apartment and buy a home, they will adopt a dog. I'm obviously sad for myself that I won't have grand babies but I respect their decision. They just don't want to bring children into this world. My oldest sister has two children, now adults, who do not plan on having children either. My niece is in her early 40s now and is a model and actress. She travels a lot and although she dated a lot, she never married and is not in a longterm relationship. My nephew is 38 and unmarried and has no plans to change that. At least I think he is still single. I don't see my sister now that Mom is gone. I assume if he had married, my son would mention it. My sister was very disappointed and used to comment on it frequently at every family gathering, trying to guilt her children into it. Like that is going to work. I figure it is their decision and you just have to respect that. And in my son's case, he had cancer treatment as a child and some of the paperwork we signed during his many treatments warned that there was a very good chance that he would be rendered sterile from the chemicals so he might not be able to father children anyway. His not wanting any makes the probable sterility a nonissue and avoids the pain he would have dealt with if they did want to have kids. Several of my friends have grown children who don't plan to have children of their own. Some are married and others are in longterm relationships. I'm curious what the statistics are as compared to when I was in my 20s and having children was an unspoken expectation. My kids are 20 and 23 and I'm not sure if they plan to have kids. My daughter talks about not having them, then having them. Right now anyway, I wouldn't mind if they don't. My bf's kids are 34/35 and his son may not have kids and his daughter only has one who will be 5 in August. Not sure of them having another. Out of me and my 4 siblings, only 2 of us had kids (2 each).
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