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Post by MalleyCat on Jul 27, 2020 5:24:16 GMT
Yeah, you must be dealing with all sorts of emotions over this! Maybe talking to a counselor will help.❤️
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Gennifer
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by Gennifer on Jul 27, 2020 5:27:44 GMT
My sister’s ex-husband is gay. Therapy is a great tool to help you process. 💕
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Gennifer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,991
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Post by Gennifer on Jul 27, 2020 5:32:35 GMT
Mel, okay lady... I can relate to all of this and it’s kind of a relief to know that these feelings are normal. My ex is also gay. There were moments in the marriage that I would wonder... is he gay? And then convince myself otherwise. After the divorce, multiple people have straight up asked me if he is gay, which made me feel so dumb that I couldn’t see it myself for so long. Even though I consider myself an LGBTQ ally, even though I voted for gay marriage in WA years ago, even though I understand that his parents would crap their pants if they knew, even though I know our church surely impacted his decision to marry a girl and pretend you are straight... I am still so mad that he didn’t tell me before we got married. I am so mad that I spent 20 years trying to fix a busted marriage without understanding the real issue. The issue that HE KNEW but had to keep hiding, so instead he placed all the blame on me. And every now and then I can actually pity him, but then without fail he acts like a complete asshole again and I’m back to wishing painful and debilitating diseases on him. He definitely should have told you. My sister knew going in, and went ahead with the marriage. They thought they could fix it. For years, after the divorce, she still felt guilt that she was his one chance to overcome his trial, and that she wasn’t faithful enough. |
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MaryMary
Pearl Clutcher
Lazy
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Post by MaryMary on Jul 27, 2020 6:15:40 GMT
I had a friend knowingly marry someone that was gay with the intention of “fixing” him or whatever. It only lasted a few years before they divorced. I’d met enough women that divorced gay husbands that I would never have married him if I’d known.
I hope your sister is in a happier situation.
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Gennifer
Pearl Clutcher
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Post by Gennifer on Jul 27, 2020 7:48:34 GMT
I had a friend knowingly marry someone that was gay with the intention of “fixing” him or whatever. It only lasted a few years before they divorced. I’d met enough women that divorced gay husbands that I would never have married him if I’d known. I hope your sister is in a happier situation. I wish that the idea of “fixing the gay” didn’t prevail as long as it did... there were many kids being raised by divorced parents because of it. She is much happier now, thank you! She is hoping to do some dress shopping in the next few days (while she’s still here in Utah) for her wedding this fall. |
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