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Post by lesserknownpea on Dec 18, 2020 5:58:18 GMT
UPDATE: DS informed me this is a listening device, she will be able to hear anything said or happening the whole time they are with him.
He initially felt he had no choice to accept it, as their mom coached the five year old to be excited and happy about it.
He’s now considering wether he wants to allow a precedent like this, as well as the over controlling intrusive nature of this.
My 5 year old grandson just informed my son that his mother, who’s been obstructing parenting, and just lost big time in court, has purchased a bracelet to know where he is at all times.
Is anybody familiar about how the courts view this?
I know different states may feel differently, but any experience at all would give me something to think about. DS does not have a lawyer, he’s behind broke. But so far that hasn’t hurt him as far as the court.
Even though when she left their home, it was a disgusting mess, while he was working full tune and she was home, now she is demanding proof that the house is pristine, acting like she gets to make tons of demands before he finally gets as chance to bring them home.
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Post by candleangie on Dec 18, 2020 6:20:15 GMT
He can just take them off the kids when they arrive.
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Post by calgaryscrapper on Dec 18, 2020 6:50:47 GMT
Is there a lawyer he can see? I watched a Dr Phil episode (I don’t usually watch them) and it sounds like the courts decides whom sees the kids,maybe wears monitors etc
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Post by lesserknownpea on Dec 18, 2020 6:54:11 GMT
Is there a lawyer he can see? I watched a Dr Phil episode (I don’t usually watch them) and it sounds like the courts decides whom sees the kids,maybe wears monitors etc He doesn’t have a lawyer. They just went to court and she lost on every issue she’s banging in about and was ordered to cooperate in visitation. So now this. She’s trying to claim that DS is risky about social distancing and other measures, which is not true. I know she’ll try to use anything she sees from the bracelet as a way to cause trouble |
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Dec 18, 2020 7:06:34 GMT
I would think, that unless a monitoring device is court ordered, then it is not mandatory.
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kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
Posts: 3,305 
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Post by kibblesandbits on Dec 18, 2020 11:27:50 GMT
He needs to get a lawyer. Try ADAM (American Divorce Association for Men). Even a simple google search will pull up divorce attorneys that cater to the male side of the issue.
Really. He needs a lawyer. If this is how it's all going down now, imagine what will be going on when things get really contentious.
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Post by Lexica on Dec 18, 2020 12:14:01 GMT
I agree with the peas that recommended removing the bracelets when the kids arrive to spend time with him. Since it isn't court ordered, there wouldn't be any reason to have to keep them on.
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Post by hop2 on Dec 18, 2020 12:25:21 GMT
Actually, as long as it is not court ordered, remove the device and calmly hand it back to the parent that bought it at the time when the child ( children ) are picked up /dropped off
I don’t see any need to hide it. The can’t prevent you from seeing your child why play their petty game? Document that you gave it back to the purchasing parent too so they can’t say you lost it. And document any insanity they start up over it. Document all the crazy - it’s the best defense you’ll have.
If it’s court ordered obviously don’t mess with it.
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Post by peasapie on Dec 18, 2020 12:45:49 GMT
I hope she had to pay court costs with her frivolous lawsuit.
I would ignore her demands and not allow her in the house (is she the arbiter of pristine?) or anywhere nearby, where she will try to drum up more fake allegations.
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Post by Really Red on Dec 18, 2020 13:30:14 GMT
Actually, as long as it is not court ordered, remove the device and calmly hand it back to the parent that bought it at the time when the child ( children ) are picked up /dropped off I don’t see any need to hide it. The can’t prevent you from seeing your child why play their petty game? Document that you gave it back to the purchasing parent too so they can’t say you lost it. And document any insanity they start up over it. Document all the crazy - it’s the best defense you’ll have. If it’s court ordered obviously don’t mess with it. I agree with this. Be upfront and open about it. Your poor grandson. I am really sorry he's going through all of this. I know it stinks to have to get a lawyer for this, but he needs someone on his side. This mom sounds scary. |
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Country Ham
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Dec 18, 2020 13:43:07 GMT
We have a discussion thread on two peas right now where a pea is upset with where her husband brings the children during his time with them and most everyone supports her knowing where the kids are when they are with him. She's not suggesting anything like this mom, and she has covid fears but when children are with one parent, the other parent needs to step back a bit.
This bracelet sounds like a step up from location trackers on phones and other devices. I know quite a few folks "in real life" who follow their kids when they are with the dads with life 360, and snap chat. Snap Chat is so easy to do that on.
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Post by Rainy_Day_Woman on Dec 18, 2020 13:44:05 GMT
Actually, as long as it is not court ordered, remove the device and calmly hand it back to the parent that bought it at the time when the child ( children ) are picked up /dropped off I don’t see any need to hide it. The can’t prevent you from seeing your child why play their petty game? Document that you gave it back to the purchasing parent too so they can’t say you lost it. And document any insanity they start up over it. Document all the crazy - it’s the best defense you’ll have. If it’s court ordered obviously don’t mess with it. My friend went through this recently too with his ex- it went to court, and the judge told him to do just that- remove it if he wishes, and either put it back on when he goes home, or document giving it to the other parent. Such a nightmare- his son is 5 now, he has spent minimum $150K on lawyer fees just trying to get her to adhere to regular visitation (a couple of nights a week, every other weekend). She just up and moved 2 hours away without telling him, and is now claiming that he lives too far for regular visitation. The judge basically told him that he needs to move closer to HER, so now he is selling his house and moving.  The amount of fighting and money wasted on lawyer fees just makes me sick- I can't see how any of this is in the child's best interest. |
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Post by maryland on Dec 18, 2020 15:02:54 GMT
I'm so sorry your son and grandchildren have to deal with her. I hope he can find an affordable attorney. And if it is court ordered, I hope they children wear them with the mom too! She sounds like the more dangerous parent. That is awful when a parent screws over the other parent just to hurt the kids as well as the spouse.
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Post by jeremysgirl on Dec 18, 2020 15:35:55 GMT
We have a discussion thread on two peas right now where a pea is upset with where her husband brings the children during his time with them and most everyone supports her knowing where the kids are when they are with him. I want to address this. I am a divorced mom. My kids were 10 & 11 years old when I divorced their dad. And at least for the first three years, he took some of his court ordered visitation. I never said a single word about where he took the kids. I didn't put up any crazy court fights. I never had a lawyer. I didn't fight with him on anything. But I was one of the ones in that thread to say she should fight it. Not because I oppose his rights. But because it's a freaking pandemic and he wanted to take the kids to a family wedding. NOT SMART given circumstances. And could have been against state orders on top of it. Risking the health of her children and by default herself when the children were returned is to me something he would need to compromise on given that both of the them have legal right to healthcare decisions. And yes, given that it's a pandemic, I would absolutely push that. My stepchildren haven't been in my house since Father's Day weekend. Because it's a pandemic. We aren't pushing court ordered visitation, not even for the holidays. We miss them terribly. But this situation is different than normal times. We are protecting them and protecting ourselves. And that's where my comment came from on that thread. If it wasn't a pandemic, I wouldn't give a care if that dad took his kids to a wedding. |
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Post by lesserknownpea on Dec 18, 2020 23:24:04 GMT
We have a discussion thread on two peas right now where a pea is upset with where her husband brings the children during his time with them and most everyone supports her knowing where the kids are when they are with him. I want to address this. I am a divorced mom. My kids were 10 & 11 years old when I divorced their dad. And at least for the first three years, he took some of his court ordered visitation. I never said a single word about where he took the kids. I didn't put up any crazy court fights. I never had a lawyer. I didn't fight with him on anything. But I was one of the ones in that thread to say she should fight it. Not because I oppose his rights. But because it's a freaking pandemic and he wanted to take the kids to a family wedding. NOT SMART given circumstances. And could have been against state orders on top of it. Risking the health of her children and by default herself when the children were returned is to me something he would need to compromise on given that both of the them have legal right to healthcare decisions. And yes, given that it's a pandemic, I would absolutely push that. My stepchildren haven't been in my house since Father's Day weekend. Because it's a pandemic. We aren't pushing court ordered visitation, not even for the holidays. We miss them terribly. But this situation is different than normal times. We are protecting them and protecting ourselves. And that's where my comment came from on that thread. If it wasn't a pandemic, I wouldn't give a care if that dad took his kids to a wedding. Former DIL used COVID as an excuse to keep the boys from DS. The judge shut her down fast on that. He said precedent all over is that the pandemic should not be used to keep kids from their parents. I feel for parents whose former partners make horrible decisions, but that’s not happening here. What’s happening is the woman has turned into an obsessive control freak regarding those kids. DS has no intention of risking infection. He lives alone, wears masks, hasn’t hugged me in 8 months. But to hear her talk, he’s a social butterfly loving it up. Not true at all. Meanwhile, she lives with her parents, her mom regularly gets her hair done, shops, takes their dogs to the vet, ect. And the boys get taken to several different houses for babysitting. But it’s ok because she’s doing it. This is very one sided. Someone mentioned lawyer costs. The other day, the boys mother lost on many issues at court. The one that upset her the most was her request to have DS pay her lawyer fees. She was counting on that and lost. Now I’ll bet she’s not so smug about those many, many, delays she filed for. She thought she was keeping him from his kids, AND costing him a fortune. I appreciate the posts here. This was a new one to me, and I was looking for perspective. Mostly, for my mental health, I have to back away and try NOT to think about these problems. |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Dec 18, 2020 23:28:47 GMT
lesserknownpea I'm sorry for all the challenges. And know my post wasn't directed at you but a defense of my thoughts on the other post. My stepchildren live with their grandparents, their mothers sister and her 4 kids. Part of us not pushing for visitation is protecting ourselves. We are ok with the isolation right now because we don't trust them either. I think people taking normal precautions is ok. And I certainly wasn't meaning to judge your son. I think anyone who goes to a family wedding right now is exercising very poor judgement, though. And I stand by that opinion.
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Post by scrapqueen01 on Dec 19, 2020 3:56:27 GMT
Like in a bug to listen in on conversations? Is this being recorded? For me that wouldn't be no but a hell no. That is invasion of privacy. He needs to check into the laws of his state concerning that. If he lives in a two party consent state he does not have to consent to that. If it isn't court ordered it would not happen.
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kibblesandbits
Pearl Clutcher
At the corner of Awesome and Bombdiggity
Posts: 3,305
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Post by kibblesandbits on Dec 19, 2020 3:58:02 GMT
Now you've piqued my curiosity - it's a "listening device"? Elaborate, please.
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Post by AussieMeg on Dec 19, 2020 3:59:58 GMT
UPDATE: DS informed me this is a listening device, she will be able to hear anything said or happening the whole time they are with him. He initially felt he had no choice to accept it, as their mom coached the five year old to be excited and happy about it. He’s now considering wether he wants to allow a precedent like this, as well as the over controlling intrusive nature of this. Assuming that such a device actually exists....... No Fucking Way! |
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Post by greendragonlady on Dec 19, 2020 4:00:18 GMT
Yeah....no.
HELL no.
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Post by busy on Dec 19, 2020 4:06:34 GMT
There is no way that anything that's running GPS and recording environmental audio would last even a day without being charged. It's all batshit crazy (and honestly, I think she's lying about the device - the audio part does not make sense), if he wants to minimize conflict until he can get a court ruling, he could just "forget" to charge it.
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Post by elaine on Dec 19, 2020 4:08:51 GMT
As far as I know, this type of device doesn’t exist. Are you certain that she wasn’t just yanking his chain?
Apple watches allow you to talk on your watch, but it has to be connected to your phone, or have cellular. And then you have to accept or make a call. And who is putting a $500 watch on a 5 year old child?
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Post by busy on Dec 19, 2020 4:10:05 GMT
As far as I know, this type of device doesn’t exist. Are you certain that she wasn’t just yanking his chain? Apple watches allow you to talk on your watch, but it has to be connected to your phone, or have cellular. And then you have to accept or make a call. And who is putting a $500 watch on a 5 year old child. And it doesn’t just automatically record without the user starting a recording. |
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Dec 19, 2020 4:12:50 GMT
Not acceptable in any way shape or form! Just no!
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Post by mom on Dec 19, 2020 4:15:47 GMT
I call bullshit and I would NOT allow it in my home, car, or anywhere.
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Post by elaine on Dec 19, 2020 4:18:42 GMT
As far as I know, this type of device doesn’t exist. Are you certain that she wasn’t just yanking his chain? Apple watches allow you to talk on your watch, but it has to be connected to your phone, or have cellular. And then you have to accept or make a call. And who is putting a $500 watch on a 5 year old child. And it doesn’t just automatically record without the user starting a recording. Yes! all wearable recorders need someone to start and stop a recording. And no wearable has enough space to record a day’s worth of conversation. Let alone a weekend. And, as you mentioned, the need to charge something like that would have to be every 6-12 hours of use if it was constantly recording. I think the son is being told an amazing tale, unless the ex-wife has 007’s Q in her employ. |
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Post by mom on Dec 19, 2020 4:21:15 GMT
I call bullshit and I would NOT allow it in my home, car, or anywhere. On second thought, put that watch/listening device right on the counter and then turn a radio on and let it play all day. If she wants something to listen to, I'd give it to her. |
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Post by lesserknownpea on Dec 19, 2020 4:31:48 GMT
So my DD uses this technology to keep tabs on her 12 olds when they are alone at home. It has a “super listening @ function so parents can listen in whenever they choose. It does not record anything, but XDIL can listen in whenever she wants.
The first visitation will only be 8 hours, so the battery will be fine.
I love the suggestion of putting it near a radio!!!!
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Post by MissBianca on Dec 19, 2020 5:09:22 GMT
I hate to say it because I know it’s expensive but he really needs an attorney and he needs to go back to court ASAP. She’s bugging his home and in some states it’s against the law to record people without their knowledge and consent. He doesn’t know if she’s listening and using a secondary device to record their conversations. But this is why he needs professional advice.
This chick is nuts and he needs to dig in now because it’s going to be a long ass 13 years. He needs to be prepared to take her to court every time this stuff comes up, and it will come up often.
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Post by lesserknownpea on Dec 19, 2020 5:19:20 GMT
I hate to say it because I know it’s expensive but he really needs an attorney and he needs to go back to court ASAP. She’s bugging his home and in some states it’s against the law to record people without their knowledge and consent. He doesn’t know if she’s listening and using a secondary device to record their conversations. But this is why he needs professional advice. This chick is nuts and he needs to dig in now because it’s going to be a long ass 13 years. He needs to be prepared to take her to court every time this stuff comes up, and it will come up often. You’re not wrong. He just shared with me that a year ago he found an actual bug in his living room, evidently to spy on what kind of entertainment he enjoyed when alone. All I can say is if she was bugging the house this week while DD and I waded through hundreds of boxes she left behind for the trash and Goodwill, and prepared fresh new bedding for the boys, she got an earful!!! |
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The amount of fighting and money wasted on lawyer fees just makes me sick- I can't see how any of this is in the child's best interest. 
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