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Post by houstonsandy on Feb 2, 2021 1:37:03 GMT
My ex and I got divorced a little over 2 years ago. Within 8 months he remarried a 26yo (undocumented from Honduras) stripper with two young children. They were "in love" and she was "going to take care of him". (He has parkinsons). They are no longer living together...big surprise...and are supposed to be getting a divorce as soon as they can afford the lawyers. He moved out last summer.
Anyways...that synopsis alone is evidence of idiocy...but wait! It gets better!
He has employed a series of helpers/aids. They don't last long apparently. The latest one quit today.
He just got home last week after being in a rehab hospital since Thanksgiving following some surgery. So he called me and asked if I would do him a favor.
He had some prescriptions at Kroger to pick up and he needed a few other things from there as well.
I asked him why I should help him when he has not helped me financially with our dd for the past two years. He gave me a sob story about how he has no money and is $8000 behind on his rent.
I asked him why he was asking me to do his shopping instead of his wife? She has covid.
He has a sister on the other side of town, but I know she doesn't care to help him very much.
Sigh....so I try to be a good person. I feel sorry for him. Why, I don't know...I just do. So I told him to send me a list and I would try to get there tomorrow after work and pick the stuff up for him.
Then I got the list. OK...it has some essentials.
Prescriptions, wipes, toilet paper, paper plates.
Then Marsala cooking wine, Guyere cheese, potatoes, asparagus, mint jelly, hair remover.....and a Valentines card! 
WTF? He is obviously planning to cook his wife some fancy Valentine's dinner...and preparing for some action! And he is asking me to get her a Valentine's card?!?!?
Side note: we were married on Feb 14th....this year would have been our 40th anniversary.
Now I have a dilemma... Should I just get the essentials and not the fancy dinner items (and card)....or shall I get it all and have some fun picking out a really stupid, tacky card?
Of course there is also the option of just forgetting the whole thing and blocking his number from my phone which is what I think I may end up doing.... 
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Post by sudie on Feb 2, 2021 1:40:43 GMT
Honestly, if it were me, I would just get the essentials.
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Post by Zee on Feb 2, 2021 1:44:34 GMT
The last option. Fuck this guy.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Feb 2, 2021 1:46:03 GMT
Rx and essentials. He stated he has no money to pay rent, no need for frivolous items.
I would rather not do any of it but you did agree to get the Rxs THIS time.
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Post by ScrapbookMyLife on Feb 2, 2021 1:46:52 GMT
Since you already committed to help. I would pick up prescription, toilet paper, wipes, and paper plates.
I would not pick up any of the "valentines date items".
I would text him back, and say "I will swing buy and pick up the grocery/prescription co-pay money from you, prior to going to the store". Otherwise, you may end up not being reimbursed.
If he says he doesn't have any money, then politely say "neither do I, guess I won't be able to pick up your groceries and stuff after all".
In the future, I would say no I won't be able to help you.
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Post by Jennifer C on Feb 2, 2021 1:49:16 GMT
Nope. I would just let him know that something came up and you can not go to the store.
Then block his number.
He wants a fancy dinner but hasn't helped you with your daughter, nope, not on your dime or time.
Jennifer
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Elsabelle
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,623 
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Post by Elsabelle on Feb 2, 2021 1:49:18 GMT
Screw that. He can go buy his own damn hair remover.
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julie5
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,611
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Post by julie5 on Feb 2, 2021 1:50:40 GMT
Hang up the phone. Don’t answer if he calls. He’s not supporting your dd? Screw him.
You’re just letting him use your good nature.
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Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
Posts: 4,688
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Post by Rhondito on Feb 2, 2021 1:52:34 GMT
Screw him.
He needs to use Instacart.
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moodyblue
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,185
Location: Western Illinois
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 21:07:23 GMT
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Post by moodyblue on Feb 2, 2021 1:54:03 GMT
Who is paying for all this? I would not assume you’ll get reimbursed. I like the idea to tell him you’ll swing by and pick up the money for the Rxs and basic items before you go.
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Post by katiekaty on Feb 2, 2021 1:55:42 GMT
Kroger pharmacy does delivers in Houston metro area. Kroger’s goes instant delivery also. Let him take care of his own business.
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Post by Really Red on Feb 2, 2021 1:56:30 GMT
I’m guessing that he cannot drive. I also agree that Instacart is the obvious choice. However I’m not one to speak since I have done more for my ex than I should. I would get the prescription and the essentials and that is it.
Consider it your good deed for the month. Possibly the year.
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seaexplore
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Posts: 8,496
Member is Online
Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on Feb 2, 2021 2:00:52 GMT
I'm with others who say to swing by and get the cash. No cash, no pick up. Sorry.
Then essentials only- meds, tp, etc... nothing extra that will make his valentine's day. I mean, you COULD get a tacky card but there's not telling he'll actually give it and if you pay for it you're out the money. So... nope. Essentials only.
AND I get that you want to be a good person. At one point you loved him and had a life with him. BUT his life choices after you are questionable. I think maybe I'd be blocking him if you don't need to be in contact about things with your DD.
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scrapngranny
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Only slightly senile
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Post by scrapngranny on Feb 2, 2021 2:00:53 GMT
I would LOVE to pick out the Valentines Day card!!
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Post by elaine on Feb 2, 2021 2:05:20 GMT
Another vote for InstaCart. And if you feel really guilty about it, you can buy him an e-gift card to InstaCart. I’d limit it to the amount you’d chip in for grocery essentials on this trip.
Honestly, there is absolutely no reason, given where you live, for you to shop for him. I haven’t set foot in a grocery store since New Year’s Eve and we have a full fridge and freezer.
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Post by femalebusiness on Feb 2, 2021 2:09:04 GMT
Straight up tell him, I'm not doing that. Period. Then hang up.
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Post by summer on Feb 2, 2021 2:11:03 GMT
I wouldn’t be picking up anything for him. He has some nerve asking you to pick up Valentines stuff!
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Post by littlemama on Feb 2, 2021 2:14:30 GMT
The only essentials I see on that list are prescriptions and toilet paper; however, I think we all know you arent going to be reimbursed for any of it, so include that in your debate.
I wouldnt even have let it get as far as him sending me the list.
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Post by mnmloveli on Feb 2, 2021 2:14:46 GMT
WHAT NERVE ! I wouldn’t be lifting a finger for him. No way, no how!!!
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Post by Baseballmom23 on Feb 2, 2021 2:19:59 GMT
Kroger pharmacy does delivers in Houston metro area. Kroger’s goes instant delivery also. Let him take care of his own business. I was going to suggest this as well. But if for some reason you have to pick up his prescriptions in person, have him order AND PAY FOR his groceries online and you can pick them up when you get his meds. |
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Post by lisae on Feb 2, 2021 2:21:35 GMT
Unless there is no grocery delivery in your area, I wouldn't get him a damn thing. Because you share a child, blocking his number probably isn't a good idea but "No" should be the first word out of your mouth whenever he asks for anything.
(My first husband is on at least his 4th wife - I don't keep up with him so I can only count the ones I know about. I was the original model. Men are idiots.)
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MaryMary
Pearl Clutcher
Lazy
Posts: 2,975
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Post by MaryMary on Feb 2, 2021 2:26:19 GMT
Tell him to eat your farts.
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Post by juanita on Feb 2, 2021 2:28:52 GMT
Nope not a chance on HELL would I get him anything for a valentines day dinner. I personally wouldn't even get his Rx or essentials.
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Post by freecharlie on Feb 2, 2021 2:28:55 GMT
Has he already given you money?
Get the prescription
He can use instant cart for the rest
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,668
Location: Ohio
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Post by StephDRebel on Feb 2, 2021 2:34:01 GMT
fuck this dude.
go get cash, drop off his presctions and basics and then use the rest to order dinner with your kid.
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Post by Eddie-n-Harley on Feb 2, 2021 2:39:30 GMT
I would LOVE to pick out the Valentines Day card!! The vindictive part of me says to buy a 40th Anniversary card. That's what happens when you stiff your ex-wife on your financial obligations and ask her to buy a valentine's card for the new wife. |
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Post by alexa11 on Feb 2, 2021 2:43:26 GMT
Get the prescription He can use instant cart for the rest Actually, Instacart will deliver the prescriptions along with his groceries. Most of us are prescription certified even though I've never had an order with one. You don't need to feel guilted into doing his shopping. |
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Post by kristi on Feb 2, 2021 2:46:01 GMT
I understand you felt bad/were trying to be helpful but there is a reason others won’t help him. You set the standard for how people treat you. I would say sorry but something came up & I won’t be available to assist. Include the link for Instacart and Kroger delivery. Then I would be rejoicing that I wasn’t married to him anymore  |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 11, 2024 5:54:31 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2021 2:52:47 GMT
The last option. Fuck this guy. This. He's the ex for a reason. You owe him nothing. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 11, 2024 5:54:31 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2021 3:01:51 GMT
Umm just who is the idiot here?   Block that guy. Not your problem. |
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