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Post by bbkeef on Mar 29, 2021 19:10:33 GMT
To clarify, it's your niece that is getting married? This would color my opinion. Are you close with her? Are your kids close with her?
I highly doubt that 350 people will show up to a wedding right now. I know way too many people that would send their regards and stay home. And I would eat before I go and politely visit during the meal. I am a hell no at buffets as it is, much less now!
Is it possible to skip church and go to just the reception? Just you and DH (if kids aren't close to her). Can you borrow a nice dress from a friend?
If it was my niece/nephew, I would be there. But I am close with mine and I wouldn't want to miss out. We will be vaccinated soon, so maybe that is coloring my opinion now too.
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Post by iamkristinl16 on Mar 29, 2021 19:13:14 GMT
I would likely not go.
My cousin’s daughter is getting married in a few weeks I’m Iowa. I don’t know details about who is invited but usually that side of the family has large weddings (small town, everyone is invited to the reception. Large family as well. I do know that the number of guests was limited to two per family. I’m not going. I’m vaccinated but the kids and dh aren’t, and I assume most of the people at the wedding aren’t, either. And from what I hear, not many are wearing masks there at this time.
I think it will be awhile before I feel comfortable being with that many people, even if most are vaccinated. But at this time I just need more info about where this virus is headed and how effective the vaccines are. There was a report last week that 98 people in MN have tested positive after being vaccinated. That makes me nervous. A few weeks ago five of us had a cold and didn’t get tested because I figured if I had the symptoms, it was unlikely to be Covid since I was vaccinated. But now It sounds like that isn’t necessarily the case.
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Post by belgravia on Mar 29, 2021 19:14:28 GMT
I wouldn’t attend even without a pandemic. It sounds so pretentious. But even if I would, I wouldn’t under these circumstances. Porta potties and a self serve buffet sound pretentious to you??
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Post by dewryce on Mar 29, 2021 19:16:53 GMT
But her allergy doesn't prevent others from using it does it?
Oh, I see your question about the MOB. No, it doesn’t, but maybe if she was shaking lots of sanitized hands it would? Then her rear can keep her hands to herself! I’m sorry (and this isn’t aimed at you at all Jen) but I think this is ridiculous...put others health/lives at risk because of it? How does she exist day to day? It seems off. And you can make your own sanitizer, or have it made, without a lot of the added ingredients that she might be allergic too.
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StephDRebel
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,666
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Jul 5, 2014 1:53:49 GMT
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Post by StephDRebel on Mar 29, 2021 19:16:59 GMT
that sounds terrible. i would be trying to avoid it before covid. no way now.
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milocat
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Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
Mar 18, 2015 4:10:31 GMT
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Post by milocat on Mar 29, 2021 19:23:17 GMT
It'd be a nope from me and I am vaccinated. The very most I would do, if it was local to me is attend the ceremony while wearing a mask. No way would I go to the reception with that lack of precautions. And how is the MOB allergic to hand sanitizer? Yeah, I am trying to not get snarky, but discussing this brings out the snark. The MOB is my SIL. She has a "fragrance" allergy and has "lung damage"----yet got covid and no issues. The invites say no fragrances allowed. One of my other SILs (my friend) is decorating (she does it as a side job and why I know a lot of this). She had fake greenery out during their meeting last week and SIL couldn't be in the same room.....yet....this is being held in a backyard of a "master gardener"....they are just going to pray she doesn't have any reactions to the flowers. You have no idea what can and can't trigger an fragrance allergy. Real flowers don't usually. The fake greenery could have had an artificial scent or just a plastic chemical scent that triggered her. I can't handle people that have washed their clothes in too strong of a detergent, go in a house that had candles going a day ago never mind the obvious perfumes and scented lotions etc. Most hand sanitizers are too strong for me. I could go on listing things. What is the point of wrist bands if people are at mixed tables? Self serve buffet, not good. Hopefully they ordered extra sinks for the portapotties so they don't run out of water. But 350 would be a no from me.
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Post by mrsscrapdiva on Mar 29, 2021 19:28:14 GMT
I would not go.
My best friend since college got married in Feb two states away and I did not go for multiple reasons. My boys did not feel comfortable at that point to travel out of state either (tween and teen) because we could have decided to go overnight etc. It was a Catholic church wedding, no reception, masks required in church. Again, I still did not go. It was an extremely hard decision not to be there in person, but because of my own reasons and some outside ones. We watched it as a family on fb live on our big screen and I was okay with my decision. I wish circumstances were different but they weren't.
In your family members case, I get people are ready to move on from Covid. I get that people are adults and they are responsible for their own decisions, but this is an extremely large wedding. I would not take any risks, especially with the sharing buffet and mixed comfort level tables AND especially the porto potties. yuck! Add on your travel and having to buy suits for the boys they will only wear once...nope.
I feel like anyone of the adults that is antivax and still wants to go and not wear masks, that's on them. But there still could be a chance someone out of that large number of people could be asymptomatic.
ETA: I didn't read any responses first because I wanted to add mine and then go back to see what others said. It is good to read like minded posts because the past few weeks it seems like so much with covid has changed at once. I really thought the re-opening would be gradual.
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Post by *sprout* on Mar 29, 2021 19:37:34 GMT
Even though I am fully vaccinated, I would not go. My dd is about the same age as your kids. There's no way she would be vaccinated by then, and I would not want to take the chance on exposing her.
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akkaren
Junior Member
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Jul 16, 2014 5:09:00 GMT
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Post by akkaren on Mar 29, 2021 19:45:29 GMT
The red, green, and yellow groups will be staring at each other suspiciously. What a way to showcase differences! It would be a hard and fast no for me. The long mass is really not that unusual for Catholic weddings.
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teddyw
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Jun 29, 2014 1:56:04 GMT
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Post by teddyw on Mar 29, 2021 19:46:48 GMT
I'm still stuck on the 2 hour ceremony and then a 1.25 hour drive to the reception? Who planned this wedding anyways? What are the COVID restrictions for MN right now? Me too! Who plans a reception that far from the ceremony?
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purplebee
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Jun 27, 2014 20:37:34 GMT
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Post by purplebee on Mar 29, 2021 19:48:49 GMT
In pre-COVID times, I probably would have gone. It sounds like it could be a really fun family event. But....COVID has become so politicized that I am afraid the wristband system is just to (as someone else mentioned) identify the “sheep.” I would be right up there sporting a mask (even thought I have been vaccinated)and baaing away and I am afraid that I would find myself in an unattractive altercation regarding my feelings on trump and COVID. It wouldn’t take much to set me off, especially if there was wine involved! So for that reason, along with many of the above-mentioned, I would probably pass.
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Post by epeanymous on Mar 29, 2021 19:56:23 GMT
I am fully vaccinated, have young kids who are not, have a summer family wedding in Minnesota, and we are not going.
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Post by rockymtnpea on Mar 29, 2021 20:02:40 GMT
The thing is you don’t want to go. And asking on 2peas you are guaranteed to get the responses that you want (based on previous posts/history of the board...no snark). And that is ok...don’t go. But if you are trying to figure out a way to go bbkeef said it well.
Bring your own food (which you can eat in the long azz trip to the reception). Steer clear of the buffet. Bring your own hand sanitizer...I know they asked guests to be fragrance free...but seriously. Of the 350 guests my guess is that more then half will be scented up. As guests are getting ready they are going to follow their typical daily routine and grab for their favorite scent from Bath and Body works.
As for the bands...who is checking the vaccination cards. People can say whatever they want as to if they have been vaccinated...it is sort of an honor system.
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scrapngranny
Pearl Clutcher
Only slightly senile
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Jun 25, 2014 23:21:30 GMT
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Post by scrapngranny on Mar 29, 2021 20:15:07 GMT
For me the decision would depend totally on how bad I wanted to be at wedding. If I was dying to go, I would acquire the clothes necessary, you would have to do that even if COVID wasn’t a factor. Everything else is a cross your fingers and hope scenario.
If I wasn’t dying to go I would send my regrets and best wishes.
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Post by Skellinton on Mar 29, 2021 20:32:00 GMT
Even if it were my own children I wouldn’t go. I am fully vaccinated but no masks and no sanitizer a buffet and 350 people? Easy no for me. Too many unknowns abort the variants and being able to pass covid around after being vaccinated.
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The Great Carpezio
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Something profound goes here.
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Jun 25, 2014 21:50:33 GMT
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Post by The Great Carpezio on Mar 29, 2021 20:39:36 GMT
The thing is you don’t want to go. And asking on 2peas you are guaranteed to get the responses that you want (based on previous posts/history of the board...no snark). And that is ok...don’t go. But if you are trying to figure out a way to go bbkeef said it well. Bring your own food (which you can eat in the long azz trip to the reception). Steer clear of the buffet. Bring your own hand sanitizer...I know they asked guests to be fragrance free...but seriously. Of the 350 guests my guess is that more then half will be scented up. As guests are getting ready they are going to follow their typical daily routine and grab for their favorite scent from Bath and Body works. As for the bands...who is checking the vaccination cards. People can say whatever they want as to if they have been vaccinated...it is sort of an honor system. I can honestly say that I am torn. 2peas won't make my decision for me; I was curious and making sure I wasn't crazy for questioning all of this. If there wasn't a pandemic, I would be a little annoyed by some of this, but we would be going 100%. With a pandemic, I really can't decide what to do. I am not really worried that much about me, personally, but all of this goes against so many principles, and I am trying to decide what is worse: not showing up for my niece's special day (I genuinely like her) or participating in an event that seems irresponsible and/or even illegal (certainly questionable). There are so many ways she could have done this without the overly large production during a pandemic (albeit a dying one by June, hopefully). I want to support her and be there on her big day. I want to see the wedding because I am curious and nosey. I don't mind dressing up that much. I don't want to see this turn into a super spreader event and participate in that. I don't want to deal with the MAGA greens vs Snowflake "other colors" vibe that is likely to permeate. I don't want to condone this level of frivolity and apathy for covid. I want my 75 year old anti-vax MIL and (I think a lot the rest of the bridal family are anti-vax too---some are for sure...not sure about the bride and groom) to suffer consequences for their choice not to vaccinate (she really wants us all there). I want to put aside my feelings and make logical choices as well, so that is why I asked the peas--to get some different perspectives. I thought, based on what I have seen, I would get a variety of responses. Yes, a lot are similar, but they are not all the same. ETA: The bands are just "your comfort level." Has nothing to do with vaccinated or not. They don't care.
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QueenoftheSloths
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Jun 26, 2014 0:29:24 GMT
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Post by QueenoftheSloths on Mar 29, 2021 20:41:21 GMT
Excuse me while I mark my calendar to watch for the covid surge this superspreader event will cause.
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The Great Carpezio
Pearl Clutcher
Something profound goes here.
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Post by The Great Carpezio on Mar 29, 2021 20:42:26 GMT
I'm still stuck on the 2 hour ceremony and then a 1.25 hour drive to the reception? Who planned this wedding anyways? What are the COVID restrictions for MN right now? Me too! Who plans a reception that far from the ceremony? It is weird, but i think they are doing that for a couple reasons...one, it is the groom's parents property. Also, he has a large Greek Orthodox family, so I think this may be a compromise AND they have been planning this since the fall, so they had to have something outdoors and privately located in case the guidelines were still too stringent.
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Post by tuva42 on Mar 29, 2021 20:46:35 GMT
Are they just guessing that gatherings of 400 people will be legal in June?
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Post by bc2ca on Mar 29, 2021 20:52:38 GMT
I'm vaccinated, but don't like the sound of this at all! I don't like the sound of the wristbands at all. What is even the point, except to identify you as one of the 'sheep'? I had a hard time getting past this idea. Unless those with red wristbands get to be first in line at the buffet table to limit their exposure, I just don't understand what the point of colored wrist bands would be. While I completely agree whomever planned is is self centered, it may not be the couple. I was allowed to invite 10 of my friends to my own wedding. My parents were paying and therefore they got to invite who they wanted first. So while it could very well be the self centered couple, it could also be someone else involved in the wedding and they're trying to keep the peace by giving in. (or in my case having no other choice. I wanted to get married in the church, if it had been up to DH we would have flown to Vegas and been done with it) IME, the pressure from Greek Orthodox side to have a big, formal wedding can be unrelenting. I would not put my kids through attending a two hour formal wedding that they won't see much between the walk down the aisle at the beginning and end in nonpandemic times, let alone now. I would not be buying suits for DSs. No one is going to remember what they are wearing and the suit jackets would be off pretty quickly IME anyway. If I was fully vaccinated, DH and I might attend the wedding, but it would be a hard no on the reception.
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Post by Basket1lady on Mar 29, 2021 20:58:27 GMT
If I wanted to go, I’d wait until the week before to decide if I was going. We just don’t know how effective it will be with not everyone vaccinated. I’d check CDC guidelines and go with the science. They will know a lot more about how the vaccines work by June. I would not eat from the buffet. I’d wear my red arm band with pride. Heck, I’d wear a red dress!
I’ve used a portapotty at the White House. It even had running water, so they can be nice.
I’d leave the boys at home. They won’t be vaccinated by then and it’s too risky for them IMO. If they did go, I’d have them wear dress pants and button down shirts with a tie. I would not buy a growing boy a suit for this occasion. My DS grew 3” in 6 weeks the summer between 7th and 8th grade. I always measured the kids the last day of school and when he got home from camp I knew he was taller.
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Deleted
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Jun 2, 2024 4:14:20 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 29, 2021 21:05:39 GMT
Oh, I see your question about the MOB. No, it doesn’t, but maybe if she was shaking lots of sanitized hands it would? Then her rear can keep her hands to herself! I’m sorry (and this isn’t aimed at you at all Jen) but I think this is ridiculous...put others health/lives at risk because of it? How does she exist day to day? It seems off. And you can make your own sanitizer, or have it made, without a lot of the added ingredients that she might be allergic too. I totally agree!
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Deleted
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Jun 2, 2024 4:14:20 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 29, 2021 21:06:45 GMT
I wouldn’t attend even without a pandemic. It sounds so pretentious. But even if I would, I wouldn’t under these circumstances. Porta potties and a self serve buffet sound pretentious to you?? That many people at events that long, at such a distance, with a controlling dress code, with so many “systems” in place, all to get what they want despite what’s best, yes, sounds pretentious.
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TXMary
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Post by TXMary on Mar 29, 2021 21:08:37 GMT
If my immediate family was vaccinated we would probably go. Right now my 25 year old and I are the only ones. If that was the same, probably would not go. I have a 12 year old and my 26 year old son and husband not vaccinated. If we were all vaccinated and money wasn't an option (buying clothes and traveling) we would probably go. I am supposed to go to a wedding in June, but much much smaller... and I am 90% sure we are going. I am waiting to see the invite if there are any covid arrangements being made or discussed. OHHHH almost forgot.. no hand sanitizer.. FORGET we wouldn't be going. Ohhhhh and another thing PORTA POTTIES? nope no way.. I'm out... I can't do Porta Potties... at all. The kind of portapotties with sinks can be pretty fancy! I've seen some really nice ones at upscale events, which it sounds like this would be. They're just like small bathrooms. Yes! We went to a wedding reception pre-Covid that had the nicest porta potties I have ever seen. They had sinks and stalls and you would have never known it was a porta pottie if you didn't know it. As for the event in question...no, we would not attend. Sounds like they want their guests to go out of their way to protect MOB from fragrance (and I understand if she is really allergic to it) but they aren't willing to do anything to protect their guests from Covid.
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The Great Carpezio
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Something profound goes here.
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Post by The Great Carpezio on Mar 29, 2021 21:09:47 GMT
Are they just guessing that gatherings of 400 people will be legal in June? IDK. I am not sure if this is considered a social gathering or an event. If it is a social gathering, it is restricted to 50 outdoors. If it is an event (which I think it is considered that), I am unsure. It depends on square footage, etc...
PER MDH Outdoor entertainment venues For all outdoor venues, including venues with less than 500 Occupant capacity, occupancy is limited to no more than 50%; up to a maximum of 250 patrons. Beginning April 1, 2021, venues with occupant capacity greater than 500 may increase patron count accordingly: For seated outdoor venues with capacity greater than 500, the venue may operate with an additional 25% of the occupant capacity above 500, with a maximum capacity not to exceed 10,000 for the entire venue (seated venues must have assigned seating, and patrons must remain seated). For non-seated outdoor venues with capacity greater than 500, the venue may operate with an additional 15% of the capacity above 500, with a maximum capacity not to exceed 10,000 for the entire venue. If there is no capacity, take the square-footage of the venue accessible by patrons (e.g. no employee only/unauthorized/inaccessible space), divide by 113, and apply the max. cap. Capacity must always be reduced of social distancing of at least 6-feet between groups cannot be maintained. Face coverings are required for patrons and required for workers. Food service must adhere to restaurant guidance, except as modified by the outdoor venue guidance. Patrons must be seated when eating or drinking. Food and beverage service and consumption, with the exception of water, is prohibited between 11:00 p.m. and 4:00 a.m., but venues may remain open during this time. Drive-in gatherings are not restricted if they follow the drive-in gathering guidance requirements.
FYI: Churches are open 100% with social distancing between families and masking.
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Post by SockMonkey on Mar 29, 2021 21:30:05 GMT
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Deleted
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Jun 2, 2024 4:14:20 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Mar 29, 2021 21:52:28 GMT
I'd send my best wishes (with a gift off the registry, of course) and stay home. That whole wrist band thing is ridiculous. Will COVID only infect those with green wrist bands? COVID must be extremely polite: "Excuse me, sir, but may I see your wrist? Oh good, green! I'm just gonna jump right into your nasal cavity and attempt to make you terribly ill (if not flat-out kill you) but not before infecting as many other people as I can!" SMH.
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Post by janniepea on Mar 29, 2021 21:53:28 GMT
I would not go. Too many risks.
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Post by gramasue on Mar 29, 2021 21:53:47 GMT
Send a gift along with your congratulations and stay home with sane people.
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Post by maryland on Mar 29, 2021 21:57:59 GMT
No way would I go! Even if I was vaccinated, it doesn't seem like a good idea to have that many people, so I wouldn't feel right going. I guess certain states don't have any restrictions, so they are probably allowed to have full capacity. Also, I wouldn't want to spend so much time driving to the reception. But I am also not a fan of attending weddings.
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