Thanksgiving vent feel free to add yours.

Why didn’t you stop them from taking leftovers? No way I let that shit happen.

I could totally picture that moment of shock when you can’t believe what you are seeing and then feeling like it was too late to say anything without creating a scene.

And then, of course, when all the relatives have watched one load up, it becomes even harder to stem the freeloading without feeling like you would say something that would cause a lot of conflict at the holiday get-together. 

I can see how it all got away from you - I can see it happening to me too. And like you, I would be livid. Both at my relatives/guests and also at myself for not saying something in the moment. I would also resent the hell out of having to cook again tomorrow. I’m not cooking again - other than to reheat leftovers - until Chanukah on Sunday, when I have another Herculean load of cooking to do. 

And that would be the very last Thanksgiving I would ever host for these people. That is ridiculously rude. Have they ever done this before?

I cant imagine taking containers to a meal, let alone filling them without being invited by the host. Very presumptuous and rude. I would not be cooking for them next year.

My story - I was invited to a friend’s house for TG. I was asked to bring veggie sides for 13 people. Ok, no problem.
Discovered yesterday I was providing all the veggie sides for the whole meal. I brought 4 dishes and a dessert. One family didn’t bring any food at all.

And, by the time the food was served, it was almost cold. I suggested microwaving made up plates, but the host said it wasn’t needed.

Well that's too bad. Wonder why suddenly this year they decided to take leftovers? Did they think you had cooked more than usual, so you were expecting this and they were "helping you" by taking the leftovers off your hands?

We always plan for the day after a feast to be leftover day, so I cook extra. But if I know someone can't come the first day, I will save the food for them before I put out the meal, just in case their favourite foods are gone by the time kitchen clean up happens.

If you do it again, take the food you need to give to others that aren't there and put it aside. I assume, since this is the first time this has happened, that your Aunt set the ball rolling by helping herself to the left overs. Others then thought that they could help themselves too.
Sorry this has happened. I can see why you are pissed.

Can you ask and say “the extra food I prepared was for your sister. Since you guys took it all, may I assume you’ll be bringing it to her? I wish you would have checked with me first.”

That she pulled out her own leftover containers tells you she came prepared to do exactly as she did. Really presumptuous. I get how you’d be stunned and pissed and not want to explode on them. I hope I’d be able to speak up in the moment, as I’d be pissed too if I had specifically planned to have extras left for tomorrow.

I am so sorry that happened to you and it was rude. I probably would not have been able to say anything at the time either because of shock and then would have been pissed at myself later.  I also agree that you will have to think about how to stop this next year, if you continue to host them, as now that it has happened once it will happen again.

Kind of off topic:
I love that reading these threads make me very introspective and look at all different perspectives..and then realize how many rules I break and/or don’t know are rules. Hahaha. Said tongue in cheek as I do know that situations are all different.

I will admit I brought my own takeout containers this year also.  But truthfully, I was just returning ones that I took previously and just used them again today.  It was just my parents and I this year and my dad made extras so we could all have some leftovers.  They love sending me home with food and I love taking it.  😄.

Before my best friend passed away, it was always a joke that leftover containers were communal property and went back and forth between ours houses so much no one knew whose were whose.  I always brought leftovers home when I ate there and did not hesitate to ask, but that was expected and acceptable to both of us…so not considered rude in our world. I also usually left the rest of whatever I brought. 😉  

I have another set of friends who alway do a reminder text before I come over to remember to bring some containers with me.

So while it was extremely rude and I would never do it as those guest did, I do have to fess up to bring my own takeout containers in certain situations also. 

Yes! Just call them a month before and tell them you will not be able to host them this year. Don't give any excuse.

Like you, I know I would have been too stunned to react the way I wanted to.

I'm on board with everyone that said no invitation for next year. The good thing is that at least now you are prepared mentally for it to possibly happen again and you'll have your go-to phrase ready. It's so difficult to address when you are overwhelmed and caught off guard. I'm floored that they had the gall. And since they all did it, it seems like maybe they discussed it beforehand.

My TG vent is that we had made reservations to go out. I don't particularly like going out for Thanksgiving. Especially now that I'm vegan BUT there is this fancy plant based place here and they were going to be open. It was just going to be my partner and his mom We work 7 days a week trying to get our retail store up and going. AND I live on a boat now with an itty bitty kitchen. No really way to cook anything. Or store anything. My child then decided he would comedown for thanksgiving and I call the restaurant about 10 days ago to amend the count to 4. I spoke to someone and she said it wasn't a problem. I was actually excited to go out, to NOT cook, and to enjoy myself.

Partner's mom texts Wednesday at 6:30 to say she went online to see their menu and they have an announcement that they will be closed Wed and Thur. We never got a call. Nor an email. I reached out through the website and called. After I left a post on their fb page they responded. She said her daughter was in the hospital from exhaustion and they thought they called everyone. oopsie. Their website made it sound like it was planned to give their employees time off with family. sigh

I’m so sorry! I’m angry for you!
Definitely don’t invite them next year - so selfish and rude!

I would have a talk with the food takers now. Not a text, not an email, don’t wait. Tell them you were too shocked to say anything at the time. Stress how the leftovers were for your mom and her husband. Tell her/them IF they are invited next year, there will be no taking left over food. Period. They will try to blame you “oh, but you didn’t say anything” but don’t let that happen. Be a broken record “the leftovers were meant for mom and you didn’t ask.”