Depression…what has helped?

Not to be flippant ... this weekend can you stay in bed all day and cry? 12 years ago (also in January) I had my first panic attack, then a few days later my beloved father in law passed away. I spent a couple of days crying my eyes out at the receiving of friends and then his funeral - after all that crying, I felt much, much better. I felt (and still feel) a little odd that the grief from his passing helped ease my anxiety, but I'm grateful for it.

January is the hardest month IMHO. It helps me a bit to know that I won't always feel like this, that as the days get warmer and longer I will feel more energy and good feelings.

Can you take a long weekend to fly somewhere warm and sunny? Travel helps me by having something to anticipate and I usually get a boost of energy by changing my surroundings.

I'm sorry you're going through this - a big hug to you.

Oh hon. I’m so sorry. Can you take a few personal days?

I agree with maybe looking for online therapy if you can.

As far as work goes, take a hard look at what you’re doing and figure out what you can get rid of. Not every paper needs to be graded. Not every lesson needs to be spectacular. Cut expectations for yourself wayyyyy back.

Hang in there, and vent here anytime. Lots here who know what you’re going through.

You might also want to look at bumping up your meds to trying a different one.

Prozac is what helped me. My primary care prescibed in late 2019 after I had a mini breakdown in the exam room.

Prior to that I had been treating anxiety as needed with Xanax/Ativan, since about 2004.

I wish someone had thought to give me prozac years ago.(Among other things, the prozac isn't a controlled substance the way the benzodiazepines are. It's so much easier to get the medication refilled, and I didn't have to see a counselor before I could get the prescription, and I didn't have to sign a "I'm not abusing scheduled drugs" agreement with my clinic.)

And you can take it and still go to work. I have Ativan as a rescue drug for panic attacks, but I can’t take it at work. Zoloft doesn’t get me in trouble. 😂

Depending on how they are medicating your anxiety, it sounds like you really need to be on a different or additional med geared more towards depression. Waiting another month is too long. I would call your doctor and ask to be seen asap even if it is just a phone or telehealth visit. I applaud you for recognizing what is going on and trying to manage it on your own Maybe tagging our resident mental health resource jeremysgirl might also bring more helpful advice

I had bad experiences with Lexapro and Prozac as it made me want to drink all the time. It sounds crazy, but I quit within 2 weeks of stopping those meds.
What helps me is therapy, exercise, sleeping (particularly in a nice well made bed sprayed with lavender) making sure I am up to date on hair cuts, pedicures, and eyebrows. I am also seeing a therapist virtually through an app. It is through talkspace, they accept my insurance and I have traditional appointments face to face but over the computer.

This is not a joke and I seriously would consider it - kittens
(I am not trying to make light of what you are going through, and am seriously recommending this.)
Pics of cute kittens, tik tok videos of cute kittens, etc.

How is your support system at home? Is your husband helping share the burdens equally, and is he emotionally supportive for you?  I ask this because many years ago when I was in a similar place, a therapist asked me this. My first answer was yes- but over time I realized I was carrying most of the responsibilities in the marriage and the family. 

Do you have a close friend to share these feelings with? 

Also there is a lot to be said for self care. Something else that helped me a lot during my parent and teacher years was learning to set aside 30 mins a day to do something just for me. A manicure, a hot bath, watching a tv show only I want to see, painting, etc. Everyone in the house knew it was mom’s time to be “self” ish and accepting the absolute necessity for this special time to recharge. As teachers, we give all day long, then come home and give to our families. It’s depletes our emotional energy because no one is giving to us. What would you do if you were forced to spend 30 mins/ day just on yourself? 

So many good suggestions from the peas that I just sat here nodding. My heart goes out to all of you suffering with depression and I'm so glad that so many of you have found the tools you need to cope.

I need medicine. I'm glad you have a doctor appointment, but at a month away, I can see how the idea of living with depression can be daunting, especially if this is your first experience with it. I would try everything in my power to get seen sooner, however, I understand if that's not possible. Quite frankly, without being an established patient and/or suicidal, getting an appointment a month out is not too terrible, IME.

But here are the things I find helpful:

Counseling, so many times there are ways to tweak things, steps we can take to lower our stress levels, tools we can employ to lighten our load. A good therapist is genius at this.

Vitamins D and B12. I take these vitamins on the regular. Have your doctor check your levels, because if they are way off, they can prescribe vitamins in higher doses than an over the counter vitamin. Then take an over the counter vitamin to maintain your levels.

Let go of things you don't need to do. I read your other post and I didn't comment because I had no input. But it sounds like you are teaching in a homeschool co-op and are taking a step back? I think that is excellent. Say no to all the things you can say no to right now. Depression has been a battle for me all my life and even little kids understand that mommy is not feeling well. I'm guessing from your past posts that your DD (and you only have the one DD, right? I can't remember) is at least middle school aged. She is old enough to understand and step up to help out. Get your DH on board too. It's totally OK if you have turkey sandwiches or heat and eat meals that everyone can be responsible for feeding themselves for a while. It's OK to say you need some alone time. It's alright to not clean your house or pay someone to do it or to have your DD and DH step up and do some things around the house for a bit. Now I'm not saying letting everything just go to hell from here on out. I'm just saying, it's a month until you see the doctor and a month is nothing in the grand scheme of a marriage or a child's life.

Maximize the good times. I am rapid cycling bipolar. So I have times when I'm so far up I'm unfunctional and times when I'm so far down it's hard to move. But the in-between I have days where I feel energetic and normal. And I take advantage of every single moment. I work harder at work to catch up from a slower day, I tidy up my house in some way, I might bake cookies or prepare a really good meal. But I pack things into the good times. This can even be that I feel refreshed and good to go in the morning, but I'm dragging by end of day. So I go to bed early and wake up early and try to get things done in the wee hours of the morning when I'm feeling fresh before I know the depression is going to creep in as the day goes on.

Consistent sleep. Try to go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time each day. You might be tempted to sleep 10 hours and that's a mistake. Too much sleep can leave you feeling draggy all day. I'm assuming you know how long a refreshing sleep is for you. Set your alarm for that amount of sleep and get up. If you are really dragging through your day, take a half hour rest/cat nap in the afternoon after work to refresh. Again, set your alarm. I promise, promise, promise, that it might be harder to get yourself going, but you'll be happier if you don't over/under sleep.

Self-care rituals are so important. Even when you are feeling good. I work from home and I found that I was having trouble unplugging from my day. So I have begun the practice each day that when my work is done, I make a cup of coffee and sit and listen to music for a half hour while I drink my coffee. This helps relax me and get me in the mindset I need for the evening. In the morning before I start working, I do a bit of meditation and I use ritual to do that too. I light incense, I ring my Tibetan singing bowl and I sit in my meditation space saying my prayers and doing my meditations. Find what works for you and make it a regular part of your day. It can really help you feel refreshed, a reset button sort of, and then you feel energized to take on the next task.

Creating is another good tool. It is funny because people who receive my yarn crafts as gifts always say there's a lot of love in them. For a long time I thought, if only they knew how much depression was in them! Well, it is love. It's self-love. Crafting gives my brain a break from other things. In nearly every mental health program I'm familiar with, they have an art/craft component because it is so good for mental health. Consider setting aside time to craft (or hell, if you get going really good, ignore everything and craft for a 5 hour marathon). Sometimes lifting that crochet hook is all the energy I can muster. But it's better than laying on the couch staring up at the ceiling. At least I feel like I'm accomplishing something with my time, but it takes like no brain space and very little energy.

Anyway, just some things that really help me out. I hope you find something from all these good pea suggestions that works for you. And please hang in there until your appointment. You will be surprised at how much better you feel with a low dose of some kind of medicine. But if you do nothing else, please heavily consider the therapy. I promise you a good therapist is magic.

So may great suggestions. I’m going through something similar and my usual coping strategies just aren’t sufficient any more.

As others have said, first go to your dr and have your meds evaluated - they may need to be changed or increased.

Along with exercise and fresh air - here are a few other tools - others said sleep and this is a critical element in my mental health. You nigh also want to cut your caffeine and alcohol consumption. Physical connection if possible, like a 20 second full body hug.

While you wait for a therapist, I found the workbook Feeling Good by Dr David Burns extremely helpful teaching CBT I could use myself. I still find those tools helpful.

I have found meditation, especially body scans and self-compassion to be helpful.

So sorry you’re going through this. Know that you’re not alone.

Just here posting in support, I feel ya sister. I'm struggling as well. <hugs> to everyone struggling.

I'm interested in MMM since it is legal here. I never thought of it for treating depression. I always thought it was a downer. Following this thread for more insight.


I lost a dear friend on Monday night to COVID. She was high risk, took every precaution and it still got her. She was gone before I even was told she was sick. That phone call from her son took me out.

I can't take this anymore. I've lost so much hair and am grinding my teeth.  Worrying about the state of our country and what's going on in the world.

Tired of all this taking my joy.

As silly as it sounds, still take a shower or bath everyday.
You may not feel like it at first but it does help,
even if you go back to bed.

(((Hugs)))