I am a widow. How do I do this? *Updated 2/14
Feb 14, 2022 4:37:15 GMT
lucyg, blue tulip, and 19 more like this
Post by bothmykidsrbrats on Feb 14, 2022 4:37:15 GMT
On January 27th, my 55 year old husband, of 35 years (39 together), fell slightly ill. He admitted to eating the last few bites of the burrito he had for lunch, after it sat on the counter for 12 hours, and thought he had a touch of food poisoning. You can take they guy out of construction work, but you can never take the construction worker out of the guy. Friday and Saturday, I took him Gatorade and Vernors, and some saltine crackers that he seemed to be able to hold down for a few hours, but came back out one end or the other forcefully. I joked I was going to serve him a greasy pork sandwich in a dirty ashtray... a regularly used line from Weird Science, in our home.
He got up Sunday morning to use the bathroom, his left knee buckled, and he fell and broke his hip. He was scheduled for knee replacement on the 23rd of this month. The paramedics said he was dehydrated and his blood pressure was a little low, more than likely from being dehydrated. As they wheeled him out, I told him I did not have hip replacement before knee replacement on his retirement BINGO card, as he had just early retired October 1st. He lovingly said, F*ck you, call Dr. Orthopedic surgeon, and see if he can do my knee and hip at the same time. I joked maybe going Kanye West's mamas route with all the "plastic surgery" at once wasn't a good idea, but I would call. The last thing we said was I love you, and he told us not to come to the ER, to wait until he was in a regular room.
The hospital called to tell me he did in fact break his hip, he was still in the ER, and was totally out on pain medication. I asked them to call, if he couldn't, when he was moved to a regular room. The next call I received was from a PA asking if my DH was a hemophiliac, on blood thinners or took a lot of aspirin, because they couldn't get his blood to clot, and were having trouble keeping his blood pressure up. I was sure they had the wrong patients contact information. My DH was no longer in the ER, but the ICU having medications pushed, they were running out of options, and he had been intubated. First his kidneys shut down, and he was put on dialysis through his neck, and then his liver started to fail. All his medical team said they have seen multi system failures with a broken hip in 85 year old people, but not a healthy 55 year old man.
He passed at 4:29 (4/29 is our DD birthday) on February 1st. When we left the hospital Monday night, at 8:PM, all the nurses said he was improving, and really thought he was turning the corner. Eight and a half hours later, he was gone. We have been together since we were just kids, and I have been a SAHM/W for almost 24 years. I do not know who I am without him. I'm 19 days older than him, so I was obviously going to go first, so we joked.
I apologize in advance if this post is an unreadable mess. I already got hand slapped for a brain fart, when I was just trying to participate to feel normal, before I was ready to say why I'm a scattered brain mess.
Update: Thank you all so much for you love, hugs, prayers, well wishes, and condolences. I was almost embarrassed to update this, because I was such I mess when I wrote it, but I knew y'all would have my back, as I melted down. Yes, our relationship was based on being best friends, and humor, and it's how he would want me to handle this hot ass sick shit storm that is coming, for me and our children. We are taken care of financially, but the paperwork is overwhelming. He used to call me Shecky Greene, because my comedy was just good enough, for '60s Vegas. To all my fellow widows, I can't tell you how much it means to know I can PM you, for hugs, inspiration, advice, and a good cry, or laugh. Except for my 2 SILs that were remarried within a year of my BILs passings, all my widow friends are 70+ and got their 2nd act, that my DH and I were planning. Thank you for everything! So much love back, to you all!
He got up Sunday morning to use the bathroom, his left knee buckled, and he fell and broke his hip. He was scheduled for knee replacement on the 23rd of this month. The paramedics said he was dehydrated and his blood pressure was a little low, more than likely from being dehydrated. As they wheeled him out, I told him I did not have hip replacement before knee replacement on his retirement BINGO card, as he had just early retired October 1st. He lovingly said, F*ck you, call Dr. Orthopedic surgeon, and see if he can do my knee and hip at the same time. I joked maybe going Kanye West's mamas route with all the "plastic surgery" at once wasn't a good idea, but I would call. The last thing we said was I love you, and he told us not to come to the ER, to wait until he was in a regular room.
The hospital called to tell me he did in fact break his hip, he was still in the ER, and was totally out on pain medication. I asked them to call, if he couldn't, when he was moved to a regular room. The next call I received was from a PA asking if my DH was a hemophiliac, on blood thinners or took a lot of aspirin, because they couldn't get his blood to clot, and were having trouble keeping his blood pressure up. I was sure they had the wrong patients contact information. My DH was no longer in the ER, but the ICU having medications pushed, they were running out of options, and he had been intubated. First his kidneys shut down, and he was put on dialysis through his neck, and then his liver started to fail. All his medical team said they have seen multi system failures with a broken hip in 85 year old people, but not a healthy 55 year old man.
He passed at 4:29 (4/29 is our DD birthday) on February 1st. When we left the hospital Monday night, at 8:PM, all the nurses said he was improving, and really thought he was turning the corner. Eight and a half hours later, he was gone. We have been together since we were just kids, and I have been a SAHM/W for almost 24 years. I do not know who I am without him. I'm 19 days older than him, so I was obviously going to go first, so we joked.
I apologize in advance if this post is an unreadable mess. I already got hand slapped for a brain fart, when I was just trying to participate to feel normal, before I was ready to say why I'm a scattered brain mess.
Update: Thank you all so much for you love, hugs, prayers, well wishes, and condolences. I was almost embarrassed to update this, because I was such I mess when I wrote it, but I knew y'all would have my back, as I melted down. Yes, our relationship was based on being best friends, and humor, and it's how he would want me to handle this hot ass sick shit storm that is coming, for me and our children. We are taken care of financially, but the paperwork is overwhelming. He used to call me Shecky Greene, because my comedy was just good enough, for '60s Vegas. To all my fellow widows, I can't tell you how much it means to know I can PM you, for hugs, inspiration, advice, and a good cry, or laugh. Except for my 2 SILs that were remarried within a year of my BILs passings, all my widow friends are 70+ and got their 2nd act, that my DH and I were planning. Thank you for everything! So much love back, to you all!
