Sarah*H
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,979
Jun 25, 2014 20:07:06 GMT
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Post by Sarah*H on Feb 25, 2022 0:05:39 GMT
Sending big hugs to your kids and a lot of hope that he recovers quickly and fully.
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Post by bc2ca on Feb 25, 2022 0:19:57 GMT
I'm sos sorry your kids are dealing with. Glad he seems to be responding to them and that he wasn't behind the wheel.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Feb 25, 2022 0:26:10 GMT
Sorry that your kids are having to deal with all this. Hopefully their dad recovers quickly. I am glad you are able to help under the circumstances.
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Post by flanz on Feb 25, 2022 0:51:14 GMT
Sending loving prayers for your family.
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Post by hmp on Feb 25, 2022 0:57:42 GMT
You are a gem of a human for helping your kids navigate this. I hope everything works out for the best. Please, please make sure the kids keep records of everything as Twinks suggested. He is in for a long recovery/rehab which typically comes with complications & setbacks. This is likely a million - multi million dollar “recovery.” Mistakes WILL be made. Huge billing mistakes will likely be made. Have the kids ask for itemized bills & tell them to review them line by line. Have them track all bills, copays, amounts paid by insurance, amounts he owes... Document all conversations with staff. Have them print out & keep a hard copy of family update emails. Have a sign in sheet for all visitors, including themselves. It’s a lot of work to do this kind of record keeping, but it will pay for itself when they are trying to solve problems. The more documentation you have, the more likely you are to be believed, and the more likely some one will help resolve the billing issues quickly.
Hugs to all of you, but especially you. You’re a great mom.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 20, 2024 16:09:31 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 25, 2022 1:17:05 GMT
Keeping you and your family in my prayers. You are an amazing person.
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kate
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,517
Location: The city that doesn't sleep
Site Supporter
Jun 26, 2014 3:30:05 GMT
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Post by kate on Feb 25, 2022 1:55:03 GMT
I will echo those who are encouraging your kids (or SOMEone) to keep detailed, dated records.
Sending love and light to your ex and all of his kids. Yours are lucky to have you for a mom!
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Post by mikklynn on Feb 25, 2022 13:08:26 GMT
Your DD17 is incredibly wise.
I am praying for him to recover and be able to be a great dad to your children.
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AmeliaBloomer
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,842
Location: USA
Jun 26, 2014 5:01:45 GMT
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Post by AmeliaBloomer on Feb 25, 2022 13:22:55 GMT
Good thoughts for your kids as they navigate this. We all need to learn these skills but that’s a baptism by fire at young ages.
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Post by destined2bmom on Feb 25, 2022 13:41:30 GMT
I am sorry that your kids are having to deal with this at their ages. I pray that he recovers and is able to go on living a normal life.
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Post by flanz on Feb 25, 2022 15:17:29 GMT
Oh wow I’m so sorry. Regardless of how it happened, it’s horrible and I am grateful for the way you are supporting your kids and hoping for a good outcome in all of this. Praying for all involved. I think your dd is right. There is plenty of time to be angry later. Now is the time for them to just BE. I second every word of this from our very wise pea. Sending you and your family lots of love from afar...
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Post by janet on Feb 25, 2022 16:07:24 GMT
You are a gem of a human for helping your kids navigate this. I hope everything works out for the best. Please, please make sure the kids keep records of everything as Twinks suggested. He is in for a long recovery/rehab which typically comes with complications & setbacks. This is likely a million - multi million dollar “recovery.” Mistakes WILL be made. Huge billing mistakes will likely be made. Have the kids ask for itemized bills & tell them to review them line by line. Have them track all bills, copays, amounts paid by insurance, amounts he owes... Document all conversations with staff. Have them print out & keep a hard copy of family update emails. Have a sign in sheet for all visitors, including themselves. It’s a lot of work to do this kind of record keeping, but it will pay for itself when they are trying to solve problems. The more documentation you have, the more likely you are to be believed, and the more likely some one will help resolve the billing issues quickly. Hugs to all of you, but especially you. You’re a great mom. I told them I could be their point person for insurance issues since I have 12 years in hospital insurance billing/collections. Happy to help. I talked to DD23 last night, and she was already keeping meticulous notes so that's good. He also did sign a POA for DD. So things are going ok in that department. Thanks all for the warm words...much appreciated. Surgery is at noon CST today.
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Post by crimsoncat05 on Feb 25, 2022 18:51:03 GMT
I hope his surgery is going well!! the waiting for that has got to be tough on your kids.
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Post by jenjie on Feb 25, 2022 20:42:55 GMT
Praying as he goes into surgery. Very encouraging that he’s been able to talk with them.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Feb 25, 2022 21:07:39 GMT
Hope the surgery goes well toward his recovery. Remind the kids and yourself to take good care of yourselves, he will need them strong.
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oh yvonne
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,003
Jun 26, 2014 0:45:23 GMT
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Post by oh yvonne on Feb 25, 2022 21:25:30 GMT
I'm so sorry your poor kids, and ex husband what a terrible thing to happen! Sending up thoughts of healing and prayers, I pray his surgery goes well and he recovers as fully as possible.
Your kids are amazing, shouldering what needs to be done and being brave on top of it.
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Post by janet on Feb 28, 2022 20:21:11 GMT
Update: The surgery went fine but he's regained zero movement. Still nothing below the shoulders. Still on a ventilator, and now they are going to replace it with a trach tube for comfort/long term. I went to see him yesterday for a bit, and honestly I sat in my car and cried when I was away from all the family (who quite honestly were very nice to me which was nice) He can nod, shake his head, shrug and wink. And mouth a few words. He has a letter board that people can use if he needs to communicate. It's really starting to sink in that he's going to be a quadriplegic unless some miraculous healing occurs.
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,744
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
Aug 2, 2014 13:03:45 GMT
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Feb 28, 2022 20:46:30 GMT
I'm so sorry. There may be inflammation still causing paralysis, which could go down. Keeping everything very crossed for him.
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Post by flanz on Feb 28, 2022 20:53:09 GMT
I'm so sorry. Praying that things can still turn around for him.
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Post by auntiepeas on Feb 28, 2022 20:56:05 GMT
It's really starting to sink in that he's going to be a quadriplegic unless some miraculous healing occurs. I’m so sorry.😔 Sending up prayers for comfort to all of you, and for the best possible outcome.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Feb 28, 2022 21:11:02 GMT
That's disheartening to hear. Hopefully may there be some improvement soon. Wishing you all the very best.
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peasquared
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,458
Jul 6, 2014 23:59:59 GMT
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Post by peasquared on Feb 28, 2022 21:12:18 GMT
I'm so sorry! I'm praying that he regains some mobility.
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Post by librarylady on Feb 28, 2022 22:58:21 GMT
I am sorry that all his loved ones will have to deal with this, and him and your children.
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Post by christine58 on Feb 28, 2022 23:07:44 GMT
Update: The surgery went fine but he's regained zero movement. Still nothing below the shoulders. Still on a ventilator, and now they are going to replace it with a trach tube for comfort/long term. I went to see him yesterday for a bit, and honestly I sat in my car and cried when I was away from all the family (who quite honestly were very nice to me which was nice) He can nod, shake his head, shrug and wink. And mouth a few words. He has a letter board that people can use if he needs to communicate. It's really starting to sink in that he's going to be a quadriplegic unless some miraculous healing occurs. I am so sorry. There can still be healing for him. Praying
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Post by sunnyd on May 3, 2022 1:57:04 GMT
janet You, your kids and your xh have all been on my mind. How are things going? Any updates? How are your kids coping? Sending good thoughts your way.
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Post by janet on Jun 21, 2022 15:21:03 GMT
I just saw this - so sorry I didn't respond last month. He's still the same - ventilator, paralysis. He was moved to Shirley Ryan Ability Lab, which is the best rehab around the Chicago area - and he promptly came down with pneumonia so he's now in the ICU at Northwestern Memorial. I hear he's doing ok on antibiotics and might go back to Shirley Ryan tomorrow. My youngest daughter is 17, and Shirley Ryan doesn't allow any visitors under 18, so she's at the hospital seeing him today - probably won't be able to see him again until she turns 18 in December. They had asked for her to be an exception and were told NO. The last time I saw him, about 3 weeks ago, he looked like he had given up on life - very tired, sad, and I don't blame him because he's not going to have any quality of life again. So, not the best update but the kids are handling things pretty well. Oldest DD moved to Seattle as planned and youngest DD is starting college, also in Seattle, in September - life goes on.
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oh yvonne
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,003
Jun 26, 2014 0:45:23 GMT
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Post by oh yvonne on Jun 21, 2022 15:28:26 GMT
oh gosh janet, your poor kids, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine his pain. Poor guy. I'm glad your children are moving on with their lives though, I pray they have a happy one despite the circumstances.
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Post by silverlining on Jun 21, 2022 15:30:38 GMT
I'm so sorry that your kids have had to go through this. I can't imagine seeing a parent on a ventilator and paralyzed for four months without improvement. I'm happy to hear that they're going ahead with their plans to move, but I know that none of this is easy for them. You've done such a good job of providing the support they need. Thank you for the update.
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scrappinwithoutpeas
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,914
Location: Northern Virginia
Aug 7, 2014 22:09:44 GMT
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Post by scrappinwithoutpeas on Jun 21, 2022 15:47:38 GMT
Thanks for posting an update, janet. I'm so sorry for your family going through this - I can't even imagine how hard it is for all involved. So glad you are able to help your kids navigate through this, and glad their lives are moving forward.
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Jun 21, 2022 17:15:31 GMT
Oh, janet , what a mess for your whole family, particularly the kids and you. Are your sons shouldering any of the responsibilities? Wishing you all the very best!
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