Funeral meal, planned meal or just go with what people bring

Where we live, the luncheon is usually held at a banquet hall. Where dh's family lives in TN, food appears at the house while the family is at the funeral

Provided by the church or small enough to be hosted at a restaurant or an open house with trays from Costco.

When my Grandpa died in 1984, it was a full wake, big ceremony and full meal with a roasted pig with an apple in his mouth and everything. It was the only time I ever saw something like that. I went to a ton of weddings as a kid but not very many funerals.

Usually at my old church.. the church would purchase the main dish.. like fried chicken and a few sides.  Then the church members (not family or at least they are not asked of course but some will bring something anyways) would do all the sides and desserts.  I haven't done a dinner at anyone's home for the luncheon since I have been to this church.  

My new church is to big to do this.. I don't even know what they do, if anything. 

Oh yes.. someone said "funeral" food.. we have Funeral sandwiches and funeral potatoes.  Both are delish!  Easily found on Google.  That would be in addition to what the church provides.

I e never even been to a funeral (I was always told that a funeral is when the body is present - but this might be a regional/varies for peas thing).

But I have been to multiple memorial services and the food is always either catered or at a restaurant- people do not bring food to the service.

I grew up Catholic and when I was young, they had a committee that would call people and ask them to bring a specified dish (casserole, salad, dessert) for a funeral luncheon and the church ladies would set up a buffet and clean up.  Now the family is responsible for paying for the food, but there still are a few church ladies that get it organized. And it seems that the church members will still bring food for the buffet.

Growing up, my mom was on the Bereavement Committee with other ladies.  They had a standing order at a bakery for raisin bread & danish and there was a local cheese store that had the cheese that the ladies sliced up and served with crackers.

Punch & coffee & tea were also served.  It was a basic $amount that the family paid for, but the work was done by church members in the kitchen and setup & tear-down in the church big gym.

In my former church, it was kind of a hodge podge of things. 

For my dd's funeral, we did things a bit differently.  The church has a HUGE foyer with room for long tables along the walls.  Some of my friends insisted on baking squares and made sandwiches, but I gave my ds $400.00 to spend on chocolate & candy.  A candy table was something that my dd wanted at her wedding, and thus, it was done at her funeral.  Lindt chocolate balls, and "good" candy was on a large table, with different layers, it looked beautiful.

We also had trays of fruit & veggies from Costco.  Her whole school was at the funeral and in total about 1,000 people, so a lot of people to feed.  It really looked lovely. 

Friends and some of my business partners provided food for everyone at our house for about a week.  I had a B&B with lots of room.  About 25 people/young adults were staying at our home during this time.  Apparently there was always a lot of food.  One business acquaintance  of mine brought in 4 huge lasagnas, salad, garlic bread and dessert one night.  

I paid for most of the food and was reimbursed by the car insurance as her death was the fault of another person.

PLEASE - if the death was due to the cause of an accident --- keep all receipts as you will get your money back.

We’ve done a platter of cold cuts or sandwiches & then added whatever was brought.

We’ve also done the go to a restaurant after the service kind of thing and then there is usually a set menu or a buffet

In my large Hispanic family and community we usually have everyone over at a designated persons home after the burial or wake if there isn't a burial. The family in mourning usually provide the main course but everyone always brings something without anyone asking. Anytime someone dies, we always discuss what we are bringing, it's a given, no questions asked. Depending on how close we are dictates if it's a bigger portion of the meal. It's been done like this since I was a child. When my dad died, we had so much food leftover from what everyone brought, each of us 5 siblings families had food for days.

I've never heard of a church providing the meal and we are catholic.

So funny on the food thing since 1972.  My friend and I always joke that there hasn't been a funeral in awhile cause we are wanting some good funeral food.  Nothing like lots of homemade stuff from ladies who really know what down home cooking is.  (And I am the first one that wants to eat out! lol)

I've never attended a funeral where there was a luncheon/food provided by the church (I'm Catholic) - that's something I'm only familiar with from reading online. I've also never been the recipient of food being dropped off around the time of a death/funeral although I have dropped off food for others.

When my mum died - we had rolls, a deli meat/cheese platter, and a cookie platter plus coffee and soda available at the house after the funeral - more than we needed but it was nice having the leftovers for eating in the days afterwards.

When my MIL died - her BIL hosted a meal at a local restaurant (he had done the same a few months earlier when his wife died). For one of my SILs - we hosted a family get-together/memorial/celebration of life (no actual funeral) at our house and provided ham and side dishes and desserts. My other SIL and my BILs - we did gatherings at MIL's house and her various children/grandchildren brought potluck.

Here there is usually sandwiches, veggie tray, desserts at the church hall or hall where the funeral was held. Funerals are usually held in the community hall as they are too big to be held in the small churches. No one could fit a 100-400 people in the house for lunch after.

Planned meal.

When our church had much younger members, we served a meal to the mourners.
Then age gripped us and the decision was made to have finger foods and most are purchased for a reception following the memorial service. Those on the food committee bring it before the service and help clean up.
We usually have some sandwiches, fruit and dessert items. It is more of a snack than a meal.

Various members take food to the home of the deceased in the 2-3 days ahead of the service.