How would you take this - perspective please

Both. Confirming that since you feel this job isn’t for you, you need to start looking for something else.

Hm. I would hope my boss would say "of course it is; let's figure out some ways to make it work better." But I guess they're saying "maybe it's really just not the right fit anymore."

How friendly are you with the boss?

I think "the amount of work that I am handling is not manageable, and I think I will perform better on my tasks if we scale back my workload" is a completely reasonable thing to say to your boss.  Possibly even "I'm feeling overwhelmed right now," although I would want to have a concrete ask that comes with that.  

"Maybe this isn't the job for me" is to me something you would say to a friend, not a supervisor or boss; if I'm supervising someone, to me, that calls for more of an interpersonal than a professional response, which may be why the boss responded as they did.  They just may not have had a good workplace response.  That said, I think "yeah, maybe you should look for someone else" is a pretty reasonable interpretation of what the boss said as well, and I'd start looking around.

Well there's the first mistake. Work bosses are not people to do things with outside of work


SO this person either asks why she got that response or start looking for a new job

time to touch up that resume

I was thinking along these same lines. The boss' response signals to me that they don't want to put in the effort to beg your friend to stay or work with him/her to improve their work situation.

First, no matter how friendly I felt I was with my boss, I would never ever express that I felt perhaps I wasn't up to doing my job anymore, even if it was the truth.  I think there are other ways their frustration and feelings of being overwhelmed could have been phrased rather than maybe the job was not a good fit any longer.  That just leaves the door wide open to replace you since they themselves expressed it first. 

Is the stress coming solely from the job itself or are there other contributing factors arising from this person's personal life?  If it is just the job, the optimal way to have approached it would have been to go into the boss's office to state the problems, but also to offer up numerous possible solutions.  
My father always told me to never bring a problem to my boss without bringing multiple solutions with me.  Yes, it is the boss's job to figure out an answer, but if you come forward with some possible solutions yourself, it takes the sting out of the complaint.  You want to show you are a team player and are not just complaining but looking for ways to improve the situation.

What did this person hope to get out of the conversation with their boss?  Do they want fewer responsibilities?  Fewer hours?  Change of department?  Or do they really think they are no longer a good fit for the company?  It is always best to go in knowing what you would like to happen and then doing all you can to make that be the end result.

Just an FYI, my dad also taught me to always give 110% to any job I ever did.  The 100% is because that is what your paycheck is for.  The extra 10% is your "job insurance" policy.  We have insurance on our health, our cars, our lives, our homes, etc.  But our jobs are really one of the most important factors in our lives and what makes everything else possible.    

You don't want to be the first name that comes to mind when layoffs are imminent.  Giving that extra 10% means not getting up and walking out the door second the clock signals quitting time. And always try to get to your job early.  Even if you go get your coffee to drink at your desk, read the newspaper, or eat some breakfast, do it from your desk and finish up so that you are ready to begin working when the job starts.  Volunteer for assignments that are less than exciting but need to be done.  Put forth that extra effort.  Show that you value your job and want to be there.

I have worked with people that show up a few minutes after starting time, then spend the next 15 to 20 minutes getting coffee, going to the bathroom, toasting their bagel, visiting with coworkers in the lunch room, etc.  They were never ready to start working when the rest of us were.  Sure, they were in the building, but not working.  And that was always the person that left a few minutes early every day too.  And undoubtedly that will be the person whose name pops into the boss's mind when they need to cut jobs.

Dad owned his own business and I would hear him talking to my mom about some of his employees - both good comments and bad.  I learned a lot.

I guess that response means the boss thinks it’s a reasonable amount of work and knows it won’t change, and feels that if the employee doesn’t agree then perhaps it truly isn’t the right job for them.  

I think the friend could benefit from self care and counseling.
Sounds like this is more than just "unhappy with work", sounds like it goes deeper than that.
Your friend sound like she is emotionally and mentally unhappy, unfulfilled and out of sorts.
Work is probably not the only thing that your friend is struggling with. When someone is unhappy and struggling within their core foundation of themselves, it affects everything in their life (home, friendship, work, relationships, etc...). 

It sounds like your friends aura and personal atmosphere is negative. What the friend sees at venting and communicating, may be perceived by someone else as whining and complaining, always negative. 

I do not totally agree with this.  There certainly may be situations where this is true but I have always ended up friends with my bosses/supervisor.  I also ended up having to manage my best friend because upper management moved her department to my group.  It can be done.

It is hard not to become friends with people you have worked with for a lot of years and who you like.  🤷🏻‍♀️

In fact I am on vacation with a great friend who was my manager at the company I worked for 20 years ago(I worked there for 15 years).  

ETA - for your question I would say both.  But I would certainly suggest they have an honest and frank conversation with their boss to determine their next step.

I think it's hard to know without knowing more about how often your friend complains about struggling, etc.

If I were her I would really evaluate and either refocus or start looking for a new job.

As to those that say you can't be friends with your boss/employee ... I think that's simply not true across the board. I'm the head of my Department and about 18 months ago she wished to transfer to work under me. We had a pretty serious, honest conversation about what that looks like. I'm not a bitch boss, but I have high expectations and mostly I expect people to do their jobs, stay on task and don't make me micro manage you. It's been going well, no issues. I can be honest with her and her me. And it doesn't affect our friendship.