samantha25
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Post by samantha25 on Jan 15, 2023 3:59:47 GMT
Fluff: DH and I have disagreements/discussions, which are insignificant/significant. One of the insignificant is- to turn off the porch light when going to sleep because the light bothers me and my daughter's sleep (he doesn't agree). So I turned off the light and he yelled- can you keep the porch light on? And I said NO and walked away, with no other comments. The light is off. No is pretty powerful as I'd usually give some explanation and never used a simple No.
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scrappinwithoutpeas
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Post by scrappinwithoutpeas on Jan 15, 2023 4:50:16 GMT
Good for you!
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samantha25
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Post by samantha25 on Jan 15, 2023 4:54:48 GMT
Does anyone else have this sense of light disrupting your sleep, even though a door could block out most of the light? It's just this aura of it being on.
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Post by lucyg on Jan 15, 2023 4:59:39 GMT
I leave my front porch light on all night, every night. I live at the end of a dark court and I like for there to be some light out there.
But my guest room (formerly kid’s room) faces right out to the front of the house, and when my DD is visiting the light bothers her, even though she grew up with it on all night, every night, so I turn it off at bedtime when she’s here.
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samantha25
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Post by samantha25 on Jan 15, 2023 5:06:52 GMT
I leave my front porch light on all night, every night. I live at the end of a dark court and I like for there to be some light out there. But my guest room (formerly kid’s room) faces right out to the front of the house, and when my DD is visiting the light bothers her, even though she grew up with it on all night, every night, so I turn it off at bedtime when she’s here. Does the porch light penetrate your sleeping room or to other neighbors? Is there light pollution for other neighbors? This may be why I want the light off at night as a neighbor across our green space keeps their light on which shines directly into our bedroom for the last 15 years and we have kept our curtains closed. Feels like it's a burning death stare, lol. |
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Post by lucyg on Jan 15, 2023 5:16:31 GMT
I leave my front porch light on all night, every night. I live at the end of a dark court and I like for there to be some light out there. But my guest room (formerly kid’s room) faces right out to the front of the house, and when my DD is visiting the light bothers her, even though she grew up with it on all night, every night, so I turn it off at bedtime when she’s here. Does the porch light penetrate your sleeping room or to other neighbors? I have become aware of light pollution for others, which may play into the part of keeping the light off at night. The light is pretty much blocked for me (upstairs, right above the light, but there’s a roof over the porch) but if not, it doesn’t bother me. My next-door neighbors leave their outside lights on most nights, too, so no worries there. Their house is at right angles to mine, so our fronts do kind of face each other, but their bedrooms are all upstairs. It has just not been an issue for us. Only my DD and only since she grew up and moved away. |
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Post by FrozenPea on Jan 15, 2023 6:11:39 GMT
Light didn't bother me, dark does. I cannot sleep in a completely dark room. I think the light not bothering me comes from living in Alaska for 41 years. I have never had blackout curtains so there is light coming at night in the summer. Yes, it is dark on the winter but I have a small night light on.
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Post by myshelly on Jan 15, 2023 6:11:49 GMT
We leave front porch, back porch, and driveway lights on all night, every night. I feel strongly that it’s safer.
Well lit = safety
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breetheflea
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Post by breetheflea on Jan 15, 2023 6:43:55 GMT
My neighbors across the street put a motion activated spotlight on their garage and I had to buy both my kids black out curtains…. I leave our porch light on but it’s not LED and won’t singe anyone’s eyeballs when they’re trying to sleep.
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Post by mom on Jan 15, 2023 7:02:58 GMT
We leave front porch, back porch, and driveway lights on all night, every night. I feel strongly that it’s safer. Well lit = safety This is us. Lights on everywhere outside, all night. BUT I can’t sleep with light shining in so I sleep with a sleep mask. |
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Post by gorgeouskid on Jan 15, 2023 8:21:11 GMT
Our front porch light is always illuminated at night for safety reasons. (It's on a timer to go on at sunset and off at dawn.) It bothered me until we got blackout curtains and now while I don't love it (it seeps through), I can live with it.
Our driveway (side door) and backyard lights are motion detectors so they go on if there's even a whiff of disturbance. Neither bother me.
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Post by compeateropeator on Jan 15, 2023 11:49:26 GMT
My front door light is set to motion detection mode, so it comes on when there is movement and then will shut off.
But I am like FrozenPea and do not like complete dark, I especially do not like waking up to darkness. I have a nightlight in the bathroom that shines into my room and I do not have shades or curtains. This is how I have slept all my life. I never had shades or shut curtains as a kid either.
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Post by littlemama on Jan 15, 2023 13:32:18 GMT
We have a motion sensor light, so it is dim unless someone approaches. Thst might be a better solution than arguing about whether the light should be on or off.
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momto4kiddos
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Jun 26, 2014 11:45:15 GMT
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Post by momto4kiddos on Jan 15, 2023 13:44:37 GMT
Our lots are an acre and were wooded on 3 sides, it's dark here. Our lights go off when the last person comes in at night.
I'm not bothered by light when I sleep, but I can certainly believe it bothers some people.
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Deleted
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May 7, 2024 16:20:50 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2023 13:48:58 GMT
Yes!! Good for you
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Post by Really Red on Jan 15, 2023 15:56:51 GMT
I think when you have a good reason for something, then it is valid.
The police chief lived in our neighborhood. He said the number one thing you can do in your house for safety is to leave your front light on.
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Deleted
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May 7, 2024 16:20:50 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2023 16:01:26 GMT
What if he was the one to say no?
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Post by auntkelly on Jan 15, 2023 16:18:00 GMT
Honestly, I would be very upset w/ my husband if his philosophy was to just say "no" when we disagreed about something. For me, the porch light is a matter of safety and I'd be pretty angry if he just turned it off and refused to discuss the matter any further. I would think we could discuss the matter and work out a reasonable compromise such as moving the light so it doesn't shine in the bedrooms or maybe getting blackout curtains on the bedroom windows.
For me the "no is a complete answer" is an unfair way to resolve most marital disagreements.
I see the "no is a complete answer" more as a way to prevent someone from manipulating you into saying "yes" when you've already said "no." For example you say "no" to being PTA President, but the head of the nominating committee says "oh, come on, it's really not that big of a job and we'll all help you."
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Post by 950nancy on Jan 15, 2023 16:21:32 GMT
I agree with your no means no. I do not feel the same about lighting at night. We live on a street with houses that have lots of trees all around them. There aren't any street lights. We have really powerful lights on the front of our house. I would have to get my kid room darkening shades.
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Post by Zee on Jan 15, 2023 16:27:08 GMT
No would not be a complete answer coming from my husband about a light being on overnight. We would have to come to a compromise.
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Post by freecharlie on Jan 15, 2023 16:54:12 GMT
I'd a sleep mask if the light bothered me. Outdoor lights are a crime deterrent
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Post by myshelly on Jan 15, 2023 16:58:56 GMT
Honestly, I would be very upset w/ my husband if his philosophy was to just say "no" when we disagreed about something. For me, the porch light is a matter of safety and I'd be pretty angry if he just turned it off and refused to discuss the matter any further. I would think we could discuss the matter and work out a reasonable compromise such as moving the light so it doesn't shine in the bedrooms or maybe getting blackout curtains on the bedroom windows. For me the "no is a complete answer" is an unfair way to resolve most marital disagreements. I see the "no is a complete answer" more as a way to prevent someone from manipulating you into saying "yes" when you've already said "no." For example you say "no" to being PTA President, but the head of the nominating committee says "oh, come on, it's really not that big of a job and we'll all help you." 100% agree with this. I’m firmly in the “no is a complete sentence camp,” but this is a really shitty application of it. OP needs to have an actual, adult conversation with your husband because that’s how a marriage is supposed to work. No is a complete sentence is for salespeople and pushy volunteer coordinators and service providers. Not spouses. |
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samantha25
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Post by samantha25 on Jan 15, 2023 18:36:47 GMT
We have a ring camera and activated light wyze camera. We keep our cars locked in the garage. No need for the porch light to be on, unless packages being delivered.
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Post by myshelly on Jan 15, 2023 18:49:23 GMT
We have a ring camera and activated light wyze camera. We keep our cars locked in the garage. No need for the porch light to be on, unless packages being delivered. So every safety expert and police officer is wrong. Good thing we have you to let us know! |
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Post by mom on Jan 15, 2023 19:02:06 GMT
Honestly, I would be very upset w/ my husband if his philosophy was to just say "no" when we disagreed about something. For me, the porch light is a matter of safety and I'd be pretty angry if he just turned it off and refused to discuss the matter any further. I would think we could discuss the matter and work out a reasonable compromise such as moving the light so it doesn't shine in the bedrooms or maybe getting blackout curtains on the bedroom windows. For me the "no is a complete answer" is an unfair way to resolve most marital disagreements. I see the "no is a complete answer" more as a way to prevent someone from manipulating you into saying "yes" when you've already said "no." For example you say "no" to being PTA President, but the head of the nominating committee says "oh, come on, it's really not that big of a job and we'll all help you." I agree. If this was her husband who was bragging about just saying no and that being the end of the conversation then we’d call him an ass for not trying to come to a compromise. |
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samantha25
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Post by samantha25 on Jan 15, 2023 19:16:08 GMT
We have a ring camera and activated light wyze camera. We keep our cars locked in the garage. No need for the porch light to be on, unless packages being delivered. So every safety expert and police officer is wrong. Good thing we have you to let us know! For our house, there's a street light and houses across the street, about 50% keep their lights off and all the neighbors park their car in the driveway/street so they can have thugs mess with their cars. We keep ours in the garage. There's nothing for someone to mess with and the activation camera would notify me. If my DH said no to me, not sure what I'd do as neither one of us has just responded that way until last night. There was no bickering as we have discussed this many times. |
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samantha25
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Post by samantha25 on Jan 15, 2023 19:18:23 GMT
Honestly, I would be very upset w/ my husband if his philosophy was to just say "no" when we disagreed about something. For me, the porch light is a matter of safety and I'd be pretty angry if he just turned it off and refused to discuss the matter any further. I would think we could discuss the matter and work out a reasonable compromise such as moving the light so it doesn't shine in the bedrooms or maybe getting blackout curtains on the bedroom windows. For me the "no is a complete answer" is an unfair way to resolve most marital disagreements. I see the "no is a complete answer" more as a way to prevent someone from manipulating you into saying "yes" when you've already said "no." For example you say "no" to being PTA President, but the head of the nominating committee says "oh, come on, it's really not that big of a job and we'll all help you." I agree. If this was her husband who was bragging about just saying no and that being the end of the conversation then we’d call him an ass for not trying to come to a compromise. My compromise is a ring camera and light detection wyze camera and park cars in the garage, so no need for the light on. |
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Post by myshelly on Jan 15, 2023 19:20:56 GMT
If this were Reddit, I’d be voting YTA.
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peaname
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Post by peaname on Jan 15, 2023 20:51:49 GMT
The peas are right!
And they will also argue about YOU being right when you were only sharing that you were proud of yourself for saying no.
Lol.
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Post by jjpeapea on Jan 15, 2023 21:06:40 GMT
I like it dark. I have to put socks over the lights on my air cleaner, and a bandana over the light at the back of my weather station display - the front panel can be turned off but the "wifi is receiveing" light inside shines too brightly for me. DH covers the weather station for me if I forget before I get under the covers, even though it doesn't bother him. Thoughtful!
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