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Post by pjaye on May 10, 2023 2:53:41 GMT
I'll validate you, you are 100% right on this. Everyone needs to wear life vets in water where it's deep enough to run a boat, but unfortunately you have no control over the decisions of other adults, but you do have control over your own children. They wear a life vest at all times on the boat - or they don't get on the boat, you need to stay firm on this.
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Post by roundtwo on May 10, 2023 3:24:53 GMT
every issue it is "we survived, so you are being a weirdo." I always say, "yes, you survived, but what about the kids who didn't?" and they roll their eyes. Another one here agreeing that you are definitely not over-reacting. I have no idea how old your inlaws are but I am guessing probably over 60 and the same generation as my parents. We grew up with a cottage and a boat and we always, every single time we were on the water, had to wear a life jacket. My grandparents also had that rule. Not sure what my point is, other than maybe not everyone of their generation was as lackadaisical as they want you to think.
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Post by busy on May 10, 2023 4:26:24 GMT
I grew up boating. EVERYONE, regardless of age, should wear a life jacket.
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Post by crazy4scraps on May 10, 2023 4:45:45 GMT
What ages are the kids and what type of boat? Not all situations are created equal. I would have them read up and get a refresher on what the actual boating laws are. We have a lake cabin and where we are, all kids 13 and under are *required* to have a life jacket ON at all times while boating, no matter what kind of boat or vessel. It’s the law.
People over 13 can wear one or not, but there has to be enough life jackets easily accessible on the vessel for every person on the boat plus at least one throwable coast guard approved floatation device readily available. So for us, technically, anyone over 13 doesn’t HAVE to physically wear one but it’s pretty dumb not to, depending on the boat. At our cabin, the rule was that no kid was allowed to play anywhere near the lakeshore, on the dock or in the boat at any time without a life jacket on.
Now that DD is older and a strong swimmer, those rules have been relaxed somewhat within reason meaning she doesn’t need one if she’s down by the water or out on the dock anymore or when we’re out swimming off of an anchored pontoon, which is the most used boat we own. But when the boat is in motion though, then yeah, the kids all have them back on because that’s the law. Once they’re over 13, if we’re in the pontoon we won’t require it. Most of the time our lake is pretty quiet and we don’t tend to go out when the water is rough because it isn’t enjoyable. There’s close to a zero chance that anyone would get knocked overboard out of that boat and an even smaller chance that it would tip over even if someone ran right into it. Most of the time we’re just putt-putting along at about 10-15 mph, everyone is sitting down, no one driving our boat drinks and we don’t tolerate any foolishness or horseplay.
If we’re out in the fishing boat though which has much lower sides, or out on jet skis or the paddle boat, etc. then yes everyone wears them because again it’s either the law or just plain dumb not to. Since the in-laws don’t seem to have much common sense, I would tell my kid to use her own when it comes to her personal safety when she’s in and around the water.
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seaexplore
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Apr 25, 2015 23:57:30 GMT
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Post by seaexplore on May 10, 2023 5:15:19 GMT
I haven’t read it all but the kids 100% need to wear life jackets. My own kids 11 and 7 (and any other kids on our boat) wear them at all times on our 23’ ski boat. I wear mine when I am being pulled behind the boat and also while swimming. I’m a strong swimmer but rather be safe than sorry and a good example for my kids.
The CA rule: California law requires that every child under age 13 must wear a life jacket at all times while on a moving vessel of any length. (There are three exceptions: Children are not required to wear a life jacket when they are wearing a harness on a sailboat, when they are in an enclosed cabin, and when they are on a vessel during an emergency rescue.)
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Post by scrapperal on May 10, 2023 7:08:49 GMT
I'm on team life jacket! If your in laws don't think life jackets are necessary, will they even have them for the kids? And if they do, will they be in good condition? the right size?
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sweetpeasmom
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Jun 27, 2014 14:04:01 GMT
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Post by sweetpeasmom on May 10, 2023 11:18:45 GMT
Huh, not a nutcase. In fact, I would say they are. You are well within your rights to ask that your kids wear a lifevest while on the boat. It doesn't matter but just curious what ages your kiddos are?
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SweetieBsMom
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Jun 25, 2014 19:55:12 GMT
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Post by SweetieBsMom on May 10, 2023 11:21:57 GMT
Absolutely not a nut case. Lifejackets are a must. I will tell you my child wouldn't be going out w/out a lifejacket. It is a hill I would die on.
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dawnnikol
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Sept 21, 2015 18:39:25 GMT
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Post by dawnnikol on May 10, 2023 11:23:05 GMT
How does your need for safety for YOUR kids impose on their belief in Well, they are evidently intent on taking the kids out in the boat. I won't be there. I don't want them out there without life jackets. I'm not being overcautious, right? My inlaws are very bad with kid safety -- they refused to use car seats, and have driven under the influence with my kids and left them unsupervised in pools, for example, which is why I don't let my kids visit them without a parent in the first place. But because I know I'm pretty o.O already about their child safety practices, and I do not myself boat, I'm checking in to make sure I'm not a nutcase on this. Those are all super red flags. If you're a nutcase, you can sit next to me. I'd be livid with my DH for not being on my side about it and trying to "be civil". Trying not to rock the boat could very well get someone killed or injured. Then who will be civil?
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Post by bratkar on May 10, 2023 12:40:29 GMT
I'll just echo everyone else and say you are absolutely right. Parenting just means some uncomfortable conversations with family. I had to tell one of my grandparents that my kids couldn't visit because they smoked in their home. If they wanted to see my kids they had to go to my mom's house. I had to tell another set that my kids absolutely would not be allowed over there with unsecured firearms. I think they both thought I was being a little nuts--after all, I survived didn't I? But they complied and our relationships were no worse for wear in the long run. They understood my kids my rules. Hopefully, your DH stands with you and takes the heat on this. OMG about literally every issue it is "we survived, so you are being a weirdo." I always say, "yes, you survived, but what about the kids who didn't?" and they roll their eyes. Thank you, everyone. Sometimes it's hard for me to know because I've had so many awful experiences with them over the years, and dh is so determined to maintain a civil relationship with them that I worry I'm overreacting to normal things. The only kids I'm sending are the teenagers, who are old enough to both self-advocate and narc, so I'm pretty confident that if I tell them "you do not get on the boat without a life jacket" they will not, but I wanted to make sure I wasn't engaging in the functional equivalent of telling them they needed life jackets in the swimming pool. I know I am late to the party and I dont have kids but you will never overreact when it comes to keeping your children SAFE. Dont even worry about how they take it. They are your kids.....
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Post by summer on May 10, 2023 12:49:32 GMT
They absolutely need life jackets.
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Post by candygurl on May 10, 2023 12:57:42 GMT
Honestly, I would not leave your kids alone with them. They have shown in the past, your kids safety isn’t important to them.
And yes, here kids 12 and under have to wear them at all times.
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Post by mikklynn on May 10, 2023 13:17:51 GMT
You are validated. I just read my grandson, almost 15, the riot act for not wearing his life jacket fishing with a friend. The friend's little brother ratted them out .
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huskergal
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Jun 25, 2014 20:22:13 GMT
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Post by huskergal on May 10, 2023 13:18:58 GMT
I would not let children on a boat without life jackets.
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Post by hop2 on May 10, 2023 14:35:26 GMT
You can’t swim if you’re unconscious. And it can happen. A sudden wave, a shoal, an accident and stuff can hit the fan in an instant. Even if your in-laws are the very bestest boater ever, not everyone else is nor can they count on everyone else being sober.
Much easier to find floating people than not floating people. Life jackets are a must.
Your in-laws are so full of themselves that they can’t take your kids safety into consideration.
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Post by aprilfay21 on May 10, 2023 14:36:35 GMT
I'm not sure where your husband stands, and if he'd back you up, but if he didn't I'd be questioning his parenting. My SO and I have gotten into arguments over our kids and he realized pretty quickly that in certain situations, it's my way or the highway. He's figured out over the years which hills I'm willing to die on.
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Post by hop2 on May 10, 2023 14:51:42 GMT
There have already been fatalities on the sound *this* year 2023. ( even if you dont include the bomb )
NY is #4 in amount of boating accidents.
So much so there are law firms that specialize in boating accidents.
Not having life vests can affect wether or not your insurance pays out. Insurance policies require life vests. I’m 100% positive theirs does if they have insurance.
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Post by hop2 on May 10, 2023 14:55:19 GMT
You are validated. I just read my grandson, almost 15, the riot act for not wearing his life jacket fishing with a friend. The friend's little brother ratted them out . 15 was the age my nieces & nephews rebelled against it - because they were sport swimmers and had life guard certifications. But my dad stood firm that they wear it because he wanted to be able to find them in the water if something happened.
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Post by angieh1996 on May 10, 2023 15:04:43 GMT
I'll validate you. Here in Iowa anyone under 13 has to wear a life jacket. I believe they also have to have life jackets on the boat for each person even if they choose not to wear it. My kids had life jackets on anytime they were on a boat or in a large body of water, and they knew how to swim at a very young age.
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GiantsFan
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Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
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Post by GiantsFan on May 10, 2023 15:37:25 GMT
Validated!
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Post by scrapnatya on May 10, 2023 16:52:57 GMT
In order to have a boat license, they need to have very specific gear on board, including life vests. Everyone on the boat should be wearing one, most especially kids. Having boated on the Sound for many years there is no way I would allow my kids to not have a life vest.
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Post by scrapmaven on May 10, 2023 17:31:12 GMT
I wouldn't allow my children to be near them w/o both parents being present. You need to be there to monitor their safety at all times. Your dh's parents are clearly not suitable caretakers for minors.
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Jili
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Jun 26, 2014 1:26:48 GMT
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Post by Jili on May 10, 2023 17:40:25 GMT
My parents had a small boat, and I spent a lot of time on Lake Erie while growing up. Lifejackets were non-negotiable until we were of an age where they weren't needed (it may have been the law, but I can't remember) and we had swimming and survival floating skills.
An aside, but related-- my maternal grandparents had one car, and it was in terrible shape. My father told us we were not allowed to go in the car with our grandparents! Our grandparents knew this, too. My father was very clear that when we stayed over, there would be no trips in the car. I will say that my grandmother usually respected this.
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Post by ntsf on May 10, 2023 17:42:32 GMT
after being around boats.. there is no way I wouldn't have everyone on a boat without a life jacket on.. too many things happen, even to adults, even to great swimmers.. there are very light unbulky ones now.. so don't be cheap. wear a jacket.
in washington state, in ca along the russian river.. they have life jackets any kid can borrow.. no excuses..
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Post by workingclassdog on May 10, 2023 17:58:33 GMT
Nope my kids would not be going.. need lifejackets.
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Post by dewryce on May 10, 2023 19:08:39 GMT
I'm on team life jacket! If your in laws don't think life jackets are necessary, will they even have them for the kids? And if they do, will they be in good condition? the right size? This is exactly what I was thinking. And with their history, I wouldn’t trust them even if they answered affirmative for all questions.
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Post by bunnyhug on May 11, 2023 2:35:26 GMT
Your kids absolutely need to wear life jackets, and I would buy them myself and send them along with the kids so I knew there would be no issue about them having trouble accessing a life jacket.
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Post by birukitty on May 11, 2023 20:58:39 GMT
I wouldn't allow my children to be near them w/o both parents being present. You need to be there to monitor their safety at all times. Your dh's parents are clearly not suitable caretakers for minors. I agree. It's not just the lifejackets, which I also agree should be worn absolutely not just be children but by anyone in a boat because you never know what can happen. Yes, you may be an excellent swimmer but if a power boat runs into your boat (can happen with all of the drunk power boaters on the water) or something like that and you bang your head as you are thrown in the water you might not be conscious to swim to save yourself. Which brings me to my biggest problem with these grandparents. OP you said they've been known to drive drunk with the kids in the car. If they've done this I'm almost positive they're probably boating drunk too. I've lived next to the Chesapeake Bay for the past 27 years. I can see the bay from my mailbox. I've owned mostly sailboats in that time, although we did have a very small powerboat for a few years. I'm very familiar with the boaters we've had on the bay nearby over those years. Drinking and power boating seem to go hand in hand. I have no idea why, but it does. So add this (the fact that they are probably handling that power boat drunk) to their reluctance over your children wearing life jackets. Suddenly it's not just the danger of not wearing life jackets (which is very dangerous) but the danger of handling a powerboat drunk! So many tragic accidents can happen from this. I hear about them every summer here. Honestly if I were you I wouldn't allow my children to visit there unless I could be there also to supervise them. I hate to say it but I wouldn't be able to trust my DH because he is their son and might be swayed by them (he's the one that wants to get along with them and is willing bend to them because of this). They are YOUR children. Who cares what they think? They are dangerous people when it comes to supervising children and that's a fact.
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Post by librarylady on May 11, 2023 21:10:50 GMT
I would be very tempted to notify the Coast Guard to check the boat. I think the CG monitors Long Island sound....
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Post by epeanymous on May 11, 2023 21:28:22 GMT
I wouldn't allow my children to be near them w/o both parents being present. You need to be there to monitor their safety at all times. Your dh's parents are clearly not suitable caretakers for minors. I agree. It's not just the lifejackets, which I also agree should be worn absolutely not just be children but by anyone in a boat because you never know what can happen. Yes, you may be an excellent swimmer but if a power boat runs into your boat (can happen with all of the drunk power boaters on the water) or something like that and you bang your head as you are thrown in the water you might not be conscious to swim to save yourself. Which brings me to my biggest problem with these grandparents. OP you said they've been known to drive drunk with the kids in the car. If they've done this I'm almost positive they're probably boating drunk too. I've lived next to the Chesapeake Bay for the past 27 years. I can see the bay from my mailbox. I've owned mostly sailboats in that time, although we did have a very small powerboat for a few years. I'm very familiar with the boaters we've had on the bay nearby over those years. Drinking and power boating seem to go hand in hand. I have no idea why, but it does. So add this (the fact that they are probably handling that power boat drunk) to their reluctance over your children wearing life jackets. Suddenly it's not just the danger of not wearing life jackets (which is very dangerous) but the danger of handling a powerboat drunk! So many tragic accidents can happen from this. I hear about them every summer here. Honestly if I were you I wouldn't allow my children to visit there unless I could be there also to supervise them. I hate to say it but I wouldn't be able to trust my DH because he is their son and might be swayed by them (he's the one that wants to get along with them and is willing bend to them because of this). They are YOUR children. Who cares what they think? They are dangerous people when it comes to supervising children and that's a fact. They have a person who drives their boat (a captain? I do not pretend to know). After I found out they drove my kids while intoxicated it became a hard rule that they never, ever drive the kids, and that would absolutely include a boat. I can't believe I actually had to make a rule out of it, but here we are.
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