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Post by Darcy Collins on Aug 10, 2023 13:17:01 GMT
Honestly I kind of hope my kids have destination weddings. I have a huge family with lots of drama, and I'd like to have an excuse not to invite a ton of them. Unfortunately my parents' health makes it tough for them to travel, so I doubt it'll happen. I understand the vent though. I think most understand when you really can't make it, but feelings can definitely be hurt when you CAN, just don't really want to.
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Post by auntkelly on Aug 10, 2023 14:17:44 GMT
We're attending a destination wedding next month. I don't really consider a destination wedding to be a vacation. When you have to get dressed up and attend events that someone else has planned, that's not really a vacation in my mind. It's easy to say "you don't have to go," but realistically, when you've been friends w/ the parents for forty years, it's pretty hard to say "we just don't want to spend the money and take the time to go to your child's wedding." With regard to the handful of destination weddings we've attended, I've never felt like the couple chose a destination wedding to save money. I think all the destination weddings we've attended would have been cheaper in the couple's hometown. I think the bride and groom just wanted to have a destination wedding. Everyone is different so I respect that. Respectfully though, I would agree it would be tough to say you don't want to spend time and money to go to a dear friend's child's wedding (though unless I was very close with the child I wouldn't feel obligated personally), but ONLY if the wedding was a typical event...a gift, a local venue, an evening...that I think is reasonable. When you start talking travel, taking off work, etc...all bets are off, IMHO. That's a big ask. I just don't agree you ate obligated. And I would absolutely understand if I was your dear friend. I don’t know that I would use the word “obligated” to describe how I feel about attending my friend’s daughter’s wedding. Both my husband and I really want to be at the wedding. We just wish it wasn’t a destination wedding! Our friends would understand if we didn’t make it and they have specifically told us that. In the end, we’ll go and have a good time and be glad we went. We’ll have another great memory to share with our friends. As others have said, I was just venting because it would be easier for me if the wedding was local.
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garcia5050
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,729
Location: So. Calif.
Jun 25, 2014 23:22:29 GMT
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Post by garcia5050 on Aug 10, 2023 14:38:30 GMT
I also don’t like destination weddings. Though I have to admit that if I had a choice, I prefer an American destination, just because I think it’s less of a hassle. The most fun destination weddings for me were local-ish. I’m in Southern California, and the ones in Napa, Portland and a couple of Vegas ones were fun. The Mexico ones we’ve been to, not as much, but we were young and poor, and there were not any fun events outside of the weddings. So maybe it was just my experience. I do remember for one Vegas wedding, there were several car accidents, more than one fatality the night before, and people were stuck for hours in traffic. The bride/groom were very worried that one of the deaths was an invited guest.
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Post by maryland on Aug 10, 2023 20:45:57 GMT
Not a fan, but the couple should do what they want to do. Just lower expectations on everyone being able to attend. Travel can be expensive, and I would prefer to spend it on a family vacation that we choose at the time we choose instead of feeling obligated to attend. So we would politely decline.
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,508
Jun 30, 2014 12:52:45 GMT
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Post by ellen on Aug 11, 2023 1:26:25 GMT
I’ve never been invited to one. If my nieces and nephews were to have destination weddings, I would go. I have a set of friends where I would travel to their kids weddings. My friends who have attended destination weddings have really enjoyed them, so I would go in with the feeling that I probably would have a great time. I am at the point in my life where I don’t feel like I have to pay for full trips for my adult kids.
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Post by mom on Aug 11, 2023 3:04:18 GMT
Honestly I kind of hope my kids have destination weddings. I have a huge family with lots of drama, and I'd like to have an excuse not to invite a ton of them. Unfortunately my parents' health makes it tough for them to travel, so I doubt it'll happen. I understand the vent though. I think most understand when you really can't make it, but feelings can definitely be hurt when you CAN, just don't really want to. Same. I will be thrilled if either of my sons decide to have a destination wedding. DH and I had a destination wedding and I would not have changed a thing. Less than 30 people there....it was perfection. We did pay 100% for DH's parents, grandma and sister to come because they did not have the means to pay for that themselves. We didn't choose a destination wedding to save money (it was more expensive!) but we did choose it knowing we wouldn't have to invite the entire family + world. Only the ones we wanted there were invited. DH and I have gone to destination weddings in the past and I don't mind them so much. I think its fun getting to see a new place and see if we like it before committing to it for a long vacation.
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Post by Darcy Collins on Aug 11, 2023 14:42:19 GMT
I’ve never been invited to one. If my nieces and nephews were to have destination weddings, I would go. I have a set of friends where I would travel to their kids weddings. My friends who have attended destination weddings have really enjoyed them, so I would go in with the feeling that I probably would have a great time. I am at the point in my life where I don’t feel like I have to pay for full trips for my adult kids. I think a huge part of my non-issue is every wedding is a destination for us as we moved away from our family. So airfare and hotel are a given, a fun destination is better than the local holiday inn for us.
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