katybee
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,378 
|
Post by katybee on Aug 9, 2023 2:52:39 GMT
UPDATE: He’s gone. He passed a couple of hours ago. His breathing was so struggled today. I went to walk the dogs, and when I came back, he was completely still, and I just knew. My SIL had just stepped out of the room to update her work, and she feels so guilty. I know he is at peace and no longer in pain. But I am still overwhelmed with grief. I don’t know what to do with myself. Thank-you for all of your support over the last 13 years. I spoke of my brother and his battle often, and y’all always had kind words and advice to share. OP: My brother in in his last days of life. He went downhill VERY quickly. A week and a half ago, he was alert, eating small amounts, drinking, getting up to go to the bathroom by himself, watching the Witcher season 3, having conversations. Then he started to show signs of mental decline, confusion, memory issues. Within a day or 2, he was sleeping nonstop. Now he is in a hospital bed, unconscious (except when we have to move him, then he is VERY verbal). He has 2 fentanyl patches and is getting liquid morphine about every 2 hours. He is in a diaper and we are turning him to make sure he doesn’t her pressure sores. We just want him to be pain free and at peace. Seeing him like this is so hard. We know he has bone metastasis, which the nurses say is unbearable pain.  At the same time, I am starting a new school year in a new school/district. I’ve been sneaking into my room here and there and have a lot done. My goal is to be completely set up by Friday. Teachers go back August 17, the first day of school is August 23. Timing is lousy, but what are you gonna do? My sister-in-law is amazing. She takes such good care of him and has handled all of the doctors, nurses, legal stuff, etc. Doing is her love language. My older brother is over daily, allowing my SIL to work from home. It sucks. It just does. I have had my share of breakdowns. He is leaving such a huge hole in our lives. But overall, we’re hanging in there. Hugs to everyone here who is or has ever gone through something like this. |
|
hutchfan
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,092
|
Post by hutchfan on Aug 9, 2023 2:57:22 GMT
Sending you hugs. Hate that your brother is going through this and the family too. Prayers being said.
|
|
|
|
Post by crazy4scraps on Aug 9, 2023 2:59:51 GMT
I’m so sorry Katy. Sending your family wishes for comfort and peace. ((hugs))
|
|
Gennifer
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,991
|
Post by Gennifer on Aug 9, 2023 3:00:20 GMT
I’m so sorry. Wishing you peace as you navigate this tumultuous time.
|
|
|
|
Post by revirdsuba99 on Aug 9, 2023 3:01:11 GMT
Sorry your brother is suffering. May be and your family find peace.
|
|
|
|
Post by quietgirl on Aug 9, 2023 3:04:40 GMT
I'm really sorry about your brother.
|
|
TXMary
Pearl Clutcher
And so many nights I just dream of the ocean. God, I wish I was sailin' again.
Posts: 2,796
|
Post by TXMary on Aug 9, 2023 3:06:19 GMT
I’m so, so sorry. Taking care of my sister during her last days with cancer was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done but I’m so glad that I could. She did so much to take care of me when I had cancer. I hate that you have to go through this. Cherish every moment and remember to take care of yourself too. Hugs and prayers for all of you.
|
|
|
|
Post by Basket1lady on Aug 9, 2023 3:06:42 GMT
I’m so sorry. What a difficult time for all. I wish him a peaceful passing.
|
|
|
|
Post by flanz on Aug 9, 2023 3:12:45 GMT
Oh, Katy. I'm so sorry.
I hope you have hospice nurses also helping out.
You've shown your brother how very much you love him and he knows it.
What a gift. I hope that is of some comfort at this unimaginably difficult time.
xoxo
|
|
|
|
Post by Merge on Aug 9, 2023 3:16:09 GMT
I’m so sorry. I’ll be keeping all of you in my thoughts.
|
|
pantsonfire
Pearl Clutcher
Take a step back, evaluate what is important, and enjoy your life with those who you love.
Posts: 4,722
|
Post by pantsonfire on Aug 9, 2023 3:16:24 GMT
Wrapping you and your family up in warm, tight hugs. Praying your brother passes softly, and with ease and in no pain. The peas have your back. It just sucks. Life isn't fair. But know you have a whole lot of peas holding you close.
|
|
katybee
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,378
|
Post by katybee on Aug 9, 2023 3:35:50 GMT
Oh, Katy. I'm so sorry. I hope you have hospice nurses also helping out. You've shown your brother how very much you love him and he knows it. What a gift. I hope that is of some comfort at this unimaginably difficult time. xoxo Oh my gosh, yes. The hospice agency is amazing. At this point, they have a nurse coming over daily. We also have a counselor and social worker, and CNA’s that come bathe him. They have his meds delivered, along with everything else we need. They even send fresh flowers and a chocolate chip cookie every weekend. (My brother doesn’t like cookies…shame… someone has to eat them….) And we can call 24/7 for anything. A few nights ago, Mark was delirious and slipped out of the fancy recliner he’d been sleeping in. My SIL and I could not get him back in. So hospice sent the SB fire department. It was the middle of the night and we had 6 good looking firemen in their tiny little bedroom to lift my brother back into his chair. It was scary then, but funny now. |
|
|
|
Post by AussieMeg on Aug 9, 2023 3:38:38 GMT
I'm sorry that your brother, and all of you, are going through this. I keep thinking to myself how fortunate that you moved to CA and got to spend all this time with your brother.
|
|
|
|
Post by elaine on Aug 9, 2023 3:38:50 GMT
(((Hugs)))
Thank you for sharing Mark’s journey with us, so we can walk a minuscule amount of your walk with you.
|
|
|
|
Post by cadoodlebug on Aug 9, 2023 4:12:13 GMT
I am so, so sorry. Losing a sibling is so very hard. Blessings to you, your brothers and your sister-in-law.
|
|
tanya2
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea #1604
Posts: 4,422
|
Post by tanya2 on Aug 9, 2023 4:26:49 GMT
I am so sorry! It is so hard to watch loved ones in pain.
|
|
teddyw
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,814
|
Post by teddyw on Aug 9, 2023 5:23:06 GMT
I’m so sorry he’s suffering now. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
|
|
inkedup
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,837
Jun 26, 2014 5:00:26 GMT
|
Post by inkedup on Aug 9, 2023 5:26:13 GMT
My heart goes out to you all. 💔
|
|
|
|
Post by NanaKate on Aug 9, 2023 5:34:54 GMT
I am so very sorry. Our family went through this with my brother 10 years ago. Hugs to all his family and friends ❤️
|
|
|
|
Post by FrozenPea on Aug 9, 2023 5:49:17 GMT
I am so sorry. I am wishing him peace.
|
|
wellway
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,760
Jun 25, 2014 20:50:09 GMT
|
Post by wellway on Aug 9, 2023 6:53:32 GMT
I'm sorry.
|
|
|
|
Post by jeremysgirl on Aug 9, 2023 7:32:26 GMT
This is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry. ❤️
|
|
|
|
Post by compeateropeator on Aug 9, 2023 7:39:26 GMT
I am so sorry. Sending loving thoughts and hugs to you all as you all go through this very difficult and painful time.
|
|
RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,730
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
|
Post by RedSquirrelUK on Aug 9, 2023 8:47:46 GMT
Just hugs from me. This is so unbearably hard that it will be a relief when it's all ended. I'm very thankful you and your SIL have each other.
|
|
Chinagirl828
Drama Llama
Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 6,466
Jun 28, 2014 6:28:53 GMT
|
Post by Chinagirl828 on Aug 9, 2023 8:52:20 GMT
It is so difficult watching loved ones go through this. Wishing you all peace as you navigate the coming days and weeks.
|
|
|
|
Post by scrappinmom3 on Aug 9, 2023 8:55:31 GMT
I am so sorry.
|
|
|
|
Post by KelleeM on Aug 9, 2023 9:02:55 GMT
I’m so sorry.
|
|
|
|
Post by monklady123 on Aug 9, 2023 10:24:41 GMT
 So sorry to hear this. But what a blessing to him that you, your other brother, and your SIL are there. |
|
|
|
Post by Neisey on Aug 9, 2023 10:38:28 GMT
Thinking of you and your family at this difficult time.
|
|
|
|
Post by MZF on Aug 9, 2023 11:13:30 GMT
I'm so sorry your brother and family are going through this. ((hugs))
|
|
