Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,544 
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Post by Just T on Nov 10, 2023 15:08:46 GMT
jeremysgirl messaged me on IG to let me know some of you are worried about me. Thank you for thinking of me. I have been on 2 peas some, but I just haven’t logged in to post anything. We finally had a hearing on Wednesday this week, and I’m feeling really down in the dumps again. I know it’s part of the process, but it still sucks. He has been court ordered to pay temporary alimony and he has to pay for a forensic accountant to look into his business finances. He doesn’t really do a good job keeping them separate from his personal finances, and we need to know what his business is worth so my attorney knows how much to ask for in the divorce. I will say that he has a shit ton of $$, and it is hard for me to wrap my brain around that when he thinks I should barely get enough from him to live on while the divorce proceeds. I think what is the hardest about all of this is that I have been with this man for almost 40 years, and he clearly cares so little about me. That is hard to come to terms with. It's comical, too--my attorney finally got his income/expense and property/debt forms. The lying liar who lies put on his expense form that he spends $350 a month on "recreation." OMG. He spends more than that in one damn DAY on his luxurious trips. He even lies to his attorney. How stupid does he think I am?? There is so much more I could say, but I don’t really have the energy for it at the moment. My life is a daily struggle of trying to enjoy life even though it’s pretty shitty right now. But I am doing my best. Baking good things, going for walks with a dear friend, going out for drinks with friends, etc. I even put up my Christmas tree last weekend. LOL Thanks again for asking about me. I appreciate it and all of you so much.
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Post by librarylady on Nov 10, 2023 15:19:49 GMT
Hang in there. It will get better, I assure you. He is trying to wear you down, but you will eventually get to the truth and your new life can begin.
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Post by threegirls on Nov 10, 2023 15:21:48 GMT
You deserve to have peace in your life and I hope it finds you soon.
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Post by leannec on Nov 10, 2023 15:24:20 GMT
Thanks so much for checking in! Of course we worry about you! It sucks right now but eventually things will turn around for you and you will feel freedom!  Hang in there! |
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Post by Susie_Homemaker on Nov 10, 2023 15:36:48 GMT
Even though it's a truly crappy time, keep looking for the good things in life- little and big. You will get through this and come out of it with an amazing new life. (((hugs)))
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Post by sean&marysmommy on Nov 10, 2023 15:42:17 GMT
I think what is the hardest about all of this is that I have been with this man for almost 40 years, and he clearly cares so little about me. That is hard to come to terms with. . Please know that while this speaks VOLUMES about him and the kind of person that he is, it says absolutely nothing about you and the kind of person that you are. Sending you all the pea love as you go through this difficult time! |
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Post by jeremysgirl on Nov 10, 2023 15:44:59 GMT
I'm so sorry things are going this way. Your divorce must feel endless at this time. For that I'm terribly sorry. And the heartbreak you must be feeling over his treatment of you! I just want to hug you. ❤️
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peasquared
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,438
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Post by peasquared on Nov 10, 2023 15:52:04 GMT
I'm sorry you are having to go through all this. And I'm sure it feels like it has been forever.  I was in your shoes about 35 years ago and while each situation is different, I can tell you once it's over you will have a wonderful life. There is something to be said for being in complete control of yourself. In the meantime, I hope things proceed quickly and in your favor. (These guys think they can pull a fast one, but lawyers and judges have seen it all) Take care and big hugs! |
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Post by Lurkingpea on Nov 10, 2023 15:54:12 GMT
I am so sorry. I agree with everything posted above. I am sure this seems endless but it eventually will end and you will be so much better off without him in your life. I hope your attorney gets the truth about his spending and his lying hurts him in the end.
I am glad you are taking care of yourself. Check in when you can. We care about you.
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Post by Scrapper100 on Nov 10, 2023 15:55:56 GMT
Hugs. I hope things start looking up and you can have sone peace snd enjoy life. Living your best life is the best revenge. I really hope that an accountant is hired and finds what is needed and you get what you deserve. I don’t understand how someone can treat another like this after so long. Hugs.
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Post by femalebusiness on Nov 10, 2023 16:02:37 GMT
I know it doesn't seem like it now but eventually this all will pass and you will have your life back. Change the things that you can and the things that you cannot change you will have to endure. It will make you stronger.
Being the vindictive bitch that I can be I will be waiting for the first of your posts when you say that you are deliriously happy and your ex's life has crumbled down around him leaving him broke, friendless and in a heap on the floor. It will happen.
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Post by Tearisci on Nov 10, 2023 16:03:17 GMT
jeremysgirl messaged me on IG to let me know some of you are worried about me. Thank you for thinking of me. . I think what is the hardest about all of this is that I have been with this man for almost 40 years, and he clearly cares so little about me. That is hard to come to terms with. I think this was one of the hardest things I dealt with in my own divorce. The fact that after 20 years together, he thought so little of me that he would lie and connive his way through the divorce. The fact that he couldn't even be a decent human to me after all of our time together that I just wanted some fairness. I'm sorry this is still dragging on for you. You've been in my thoughts so much over these past months and I hope things can wrap up quickly and smoothly for you. |
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Post by revirdsuba99 on Nov 10, 2023 16:03:50 GMT
Sounds like credit card records need major audit!
You can do this and come out ahead of him in every aspect of your life!!
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Post by crazy4scraps on Nov 10, 2023 16:15:01 GMT
Hang in there, Just T and know that you’re in our thoughts! You’ve got this, we know it sucks but you can muscle through until it’s done. Someday all this drudgery will be in the rear view. Hugs friend! |
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Post by monklady123 on Nov 10, 2023 16:18:47 GMT
I know it doesn't seem like it now but eventually this all will pass and you will have your life back. Change the things that you can and the things that you cannot change you will have to endure. It will make you stronger. Being the vindictive bitch that I can be I will be waiting for the first of your posts when you say that you are deliriously happy and your ex's life has crumbled down around him leaving him broke, friendless and in a heap on the floor. It will happen. .  And I agree with whoever said that the lawyers have seen it all. Your soon-to-be-ex-idiot might think he can outsmart them but he can't. |
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Post by epeanymous on Nov 10, 2023 16:29:58 GMT
I am really sorry. This process completely sucks. I will say I know
many IRL divorced women and they all felt *much happier* than they had been while married once the whole thing was over -- I was just talking yesterday to a friend who really didn't want to get divorced, had a husband who was hiding money and activity, all of it, and, now that she is on the other side, is literally a different person, in the best ways possible. She glows! You will glow too.
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Post by workingclassdog on Nov 10, 2023 16:33:07 GMT
Hang in there!!! My old job was an assistant to a forensic accountant. People suck. They try to hide money. My boss was GOOD at finding it. I did A LOT of tracing of assets for him back in the day. IT's worth it to find that money!
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Post by mikklynn on Nov 10, 2023 17:53:19 GMT
Just remember, YOU did nothing to deserve this. It's all on him.
I'm glad he has to pay for the forensic accounting.
Hang in there!
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Post by Linda on Nov 10, 2023 18:00:36 GMT
(((Hugs)))
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Post by lurker on Nov 10, 2023 18:46:04 GMT
Sorry this has been so hard. Dealing with his AH behavior is bad enough, not to mention the additional financial stress. I hope you have a shark for an attorney!
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Post by mom on Nov 10, 2023 18:46:22 GMT
You are so loved, sweet friend. Even if the lying bastard who lies cannot see it, you are the best thing to ever happen to him. Keep your head up! In the meantime, lets plot ways to make him life hell --- sign him up for all the political bullshit you can, add his number to every service that can alert him to that he needs to get STD testing. Is it too late to add glitter to his A/C unit in his car? Ok, maybe all those ideas are sucky but one day he will regret his choices.
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scrappinghappy
Pearl Clutcher
“I’m late, I’m late for a very important date. No time to say “Hello.” Goodbye. I’m late...."
Posts: 4,306
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Post by scrappinghappy on Nov 10, 2023 18:59:05 GMT
I think what is the hardest about all of this is that I have been with this man for almost 40 years, and he clearly cares so little about me. That is hard to come to terms with. . so well said. Hugs |
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snyder
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,939
Location: Colorado
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Post by snyder on Nov 10, 2023 19:38:55 GMT
Sorry you're going through this and I so hope it is over soon. My niece was in a similar situation in her divorce, except they didn't have quite the money you speak of, but her ex lied so much about the finances that her attorney made them hire an accountant to figure out their finances. He was caught in so many lies. He had to provide every recipt he had access too even if it was going back to retailers and getting copies. Copies of credit card and bank statements going back quite a few years and on and on. They really did an excellent job of putting the true picture together. I will pray this accountant wil provide the judge with enough information that they award you every dime you deserve and then some. Big {{{{HUGS}}}}
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Post by Merge on Nov 10, 2023 19:40:57 GMT
Thinking of you and wishing you peace.
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Post by scrappintoee on Nov 10, 2023 19:53:14 GMT
I'm sooo sorry you're going through this! I cannot imagine what it'd be like after loving him for 40 years! And the waiting....omg, it must be absolute torture for you. (( hugs )) I cannot WAIT until you get EVERYTHING you deserve, (they need to HURRY UP!) and move onto a much happier life!  |
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RedSquirrelUK
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,732
Location: The UK's beautiful West Country
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Post by RedSquirrelUK on Nov 10, 2023 20:10:02 GMT
Hugs hun. Things will improve. They really will.
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Post by Gem Girl on Nov 10, 2023 20:15:19 GMT
If it's any consolation, going through a forensic audit is about as much fun as a proctology exam (and mirrors it, in that the prep is horrible, too).
Don't let him rob your life of joy. Living well is truly the best revenge.
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scrappyesq
Pearl Clutcher
You have always been a part of the heist. You're only mad now because you don't like your cut.
Posts: 4,029
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Post by scrappyesq on Nov 10, 2023 20:24:43 GMT
I am glad that you came to update us. Know that you are not alone. A year after finally walking away I still have moments where I am floored by the utter disregard he had for me and the life I thought we built together. It gets better, and anyone who has been through a divorce can see part of their story in everything you wrote. That may not comfort you at all right now but it may help you continue to push through and fight for everything everything you know you deserve.
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mimima
Drama Llama
Stay Gold, Ponyboy
Posts: 5,017
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Post by mimima on Nov 10, 2023 20:57:24 GMT
Thinking of you, good to see you check in.
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Post by kkrenn on Nov 10, 2023 21:03:15 GMT
((((hugs))))
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