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Post by lesserknownpea on Dec 23, 2014 14:38:55 GMT
I live closer to 3 of my children, and the other one lives just far enough away it's hard for either of us to get out to spend time together. She also is the one who has chosen a radically different enough life from the rest of us that she misses many occasions where the rest of my children and grandchildren will be. We we all love her and go out of our way to include her and spend time with her, but it can be hard, she's practically a hermit in some ways, and her SO is more so. A couple days ago I accidentally discovered that she is not following me on Instagram. This and fb has been a helpful way to keep up with each other, and she and I haven't had any misunderstandings in the years we've used them. We actually get along great, so I was puzzled. Then today I realized when it must have happened. DD has started an extreme eating program about 6 months ago. She is not just vegan, but eats almost only raw food, mostly fruit. She eats about 15 bananas a day. The only thing she cooks are beans and lentils and rice. I've been very encouraging all this time, while frankly she's been the typical obnoxious new believer. She's told her sister that she is sad that sister will die sooner because of her diet. She's advised her brothers that this way of eating will cure every ill. She's said such things to me also, but I just smile and accept that she is just trying to help. I've encouraged her siblings to be patient, and be glad that DD feels good about herself. But I know what she must have quit my Instagram over, 10 days ago my son got an alpaca from a local coop, and I posted a pic of making sausage, ( which turned out super yummy), and mentioned that I was grateful we had this hormone and antibiotic free meat that was not raised on a feedlot. I quickly get this text: "should be #no hormones added. You will be getting tons of alpacas naturally occurring hormones, including the cortisol, epinephrine, and norepinephrine. Prob not a big deal for people who aren't as sensitive to hormone balance like me  " I replied, "thanks for the biology lesson. I'm pretty sure people know what I mean. We eat meat. Be happy we have a source for better meat." As as far as I knew, we were good. Then I figured out she had to have unfollowed me over this. I haven't decided whether to bring this up or just leave it alone. I still see and comment on her posts. And she is pleasant to me when we talk or text. I'm happy she feels so good about her eating. She has a history of anorexia and bulimia and feels so in control now. She has also successfully quit smoking, which she credits the diet for. |
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styxgirl
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,875
Jun 27, 2014 4:51:44 GMT
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Post by styxgirl on Dec 23, 2014 14:53:19 GMT
The un-follow could have been an accident. I have hit the wrong button before. If she is still cordial in every other way, there's no reason to assume she did it on purpose. Give her the benefit of the doubt and ask her.
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Post by lesserknownpea on Dec 23, 2014 14:57:09 GMT
You know, I thought it was an accident when I first noticed. Then I remembered the sausage making pic and I'm pretty sure that's what happened. But you're right, I should just ask.
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Country Ham
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Jun 25, 2014 19:32:08 GMT
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Post by Country Ham on Dec 23, 2014 15:07:23 GMT
You made homemade sausage out of an Alpaca you bought and posted a picture of the process?
It wouldn't be farfetched that someone might unfollow you. I know folks who unfollow deer hunters for similar things.
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scorpeao
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Posts: 4,521
Location: NorCal USA
Jun 25, 2014 21:04:54 GMT
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Post by scorpeao on Dec 23, 2014 15:22:23 GMT
Let it go. So she doesn't follow you on Instagram, what's the big deal? I stopped following my mom on FB; if she knows she has never said anything to me, and our relationship is marginally better than if I followed her.
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Post by lesserknownpea on Dec 23, 2014 15:23:09 GMT
You made homemade sausage out of an Alpaca you bought and posted a picture of the process? It wouldn't be farfetched that someone might unfollow you. I know folks who unfollow deer hunters for similar things. Yeah, I'm not crazy about trophy pics either. I have nephews that always post those. This was a pic of me using the kitchen aid to grind the scraps. If a person were a vegetarian because they hated the killing of any animals for food, I could see it bothering them. DD is eating this way because she believes it is healthier. I think she may be upset at the idea of us ingesting all that cortisol, ect. |
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Post by annabella on Dec 23, 2014 15:28:15 GMT
Wow people eat alpaca??? I had no idea! Yeah I learned through the peas that people post deer hunting pics to facebook, I find that disgusting and would unfollow someone to not ever see such a thing.
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Post by SabrinaM on Dec 23, 2014 15:31:03 GMT
I'd let it go. It's only "drama" if you allow it to be.  I don't care who follows me on FB and who does not. If your issue with her is that you want her to be more involved with the family, say so. Even then, she will do what she wants. |
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Post by lesserknownpea on Dec 23, 2014 15:33:29 GMT
I was surprised to learn people eat alpaca, too. I shouldnt have been, we've raised lamb, and I love that. I googled and got a lot of info, a lot of people eat alpaca, who knew?
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freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927 
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Post by freebird on Dec 23, 2014 15:34:30 GMT
I think I would just leave it be for now. Maybe she'll come back around. Don't make a big deal out of it. Lots of stuff my mom does drives me nuts too (and I'm sure vice versa).
I eat meat, I believe that we were meant to eat meat and I know where it comes from. I still love animals though and I wouldn't ever be able to kill one to eat it. (well, depends on how hungry I got lol). In the fall, I sometimes hide hunting pictures. On the other hand, my son went hunting for the first time this year and got his first deer. I was proud of him and bought him a rifle for Christmas. Clearly you can see how back and forth I am on the topic. lol
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Post by gonewalkabout on Dec 23, 2014 15:37:16 GMT
I wouldn't worry about it, and wouldn't take it personally if she did unfollow.
I probably would unfollow too only because pics like that or of any animal related sad thing makes me upset. I'm not vegan and don't hold it against anyone either, but pics stick in my head for years.
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kelly8875
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Posts: 4,391
Location: Lost in my supplies...
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Post by kelly8875 on Dec 23, 2014 15:43:43 GMT
I would leave it alone personally. Sounds more like the issue is that you wish she were closer, and was more family involved... But yet you understand her lifestyle all at the same time. Those situations are tricky. I think your best option is to just talk to her about 'life' and not worry about if she's following you online.
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Post by pierkiss on Dec 23, 2014 16:01:02 GMT
You made homemade sausage out of an Alpaca you bought and posted a picture of the process? It wouldn't be farfetched that someone might unfollow you. I know folks who unfollow deer hunters for similar things. Pretty much that. I have old family friends who I adore on my Facebook. But they are big time hunters, and every deer season they will post several pictures of their kids with their kills. And some are pretty gross, like the one where it's hung up and they're getting the blood out of it (don't know what that's called). I have to hide them for a few months every year. I'm not a hunter, I don't want to see pictures of it. So I hide them. No biggie. I don't Instagram. Is there an option to hide a picture/person from your feed? I would think that would have been a better solution. But if not, then I can understand why she unfollowed you. |
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Post by cindyupnorth on Dec 23, 2014 16:10:38 GMT
Heck, I'm a meat eater, my family hunts, and I'd UNfriend you! Yikes. Who the hell eats alpaca's? and then posts pic's of it? Yi
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 2:36:02 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2014 16:19:16 GMT
Let it go. So she doesn't follow you on Instagram, what's the big deal?  |
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scrappinmama
Pearl Clutcher
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Jun 26, 2014 12:54:09 GMT
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Post by scrappinmama on Dec 23, 2014 17:16:16 GMT
Leave it alone. You can agree to disagree on topics. She doesn't want to see those pictures.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 2:36:02 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2014 17:27:06 GMT
There is no drama, yet. If you bring it up, do it as an apology. You posted/commented without regard to her sensibilities about meat eating. She has set a boundary there. You can respect it and keep peace. Or you can disrespect her boundaries and have drama. But she has rights to set boundaries on what she is exposed to.
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Post by doesitmatter on Dec 23, 2014 17:39:10 GMT
I'm a vegetarian (neatly lifelong) and while I won't lecture anyone or even mention what they eat- I don't want to see anyone's hunting or sausage making pics  |
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Post by gmcwife1 on Dec 23, 2014 17:43:01 GMT
Let it go. So she doesn't follow you on Instagram, what's the big deal? I don't understand why it's a big deal either. And I really don't understand why adults create drama out of nothing. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 2:36:02 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2014 17:48:23 GMT
I am a knitter and spinner, I had zero idea that it was economical to eat alpaca. The good fiber quality animals are 5 figures! Anyway, I doubt it was a mistake if she's young and tech savvy. I'm 43 and have never accidentally unfriended or unfollowed someone. I guess it could happen, but she's probably miffed. She'll get over it? And can I just tell you I have been that overzealous new diet plan believer before? So embarrassing in retrospect. Hee! |
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Post by moveablefeast on Dec 23, 2014 18:00:10 GMT
Who the hell eats alpaca's? Well, folks in South America, for at least a few thousand years. There is demand now for it elsewhere in the world but that's where it started. |
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iluvpink
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Posts: 4,291
Location: Michigan
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Post by iluvpink on Dec 23, 2014 18:17:22 GMT
The OP has said that there weren't any pictures of the animal's carcass, etc. Just her making the sausage in the kitchen. And her dd does eat meat, so it doesn't sound like the daughter was disturbed by any "hunting" pictures etc.
However I agree, I wouldn't really worry about her unfollowing. It sounds like she feels very strongly/overly enthusiastic about her way of eating. I'd just try to ignore it. I have known people like that in regards to their diet and other aspects of their life. It's highly annoying and frustrating until they calm down and realize that they can't convert everyone. Most eventually do they or at least shut up about it.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 2:36:02 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2014 18:24:52 GMT
It sounds like you are trying to have some bit of relationship with her (through social media) and she's just not trying at all.
That hurts.
Hugs Mama.
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Post by cindyupnorth on Dec 23, 2014 18:25:48 GMT
Laurie her Dd does not eat meat. She eats only raw.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 2:36:02 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2014 18:26:57 GMT
The OP has said that there weren't any pictures of the animal's carcass, etc. Just her making the sausage in the kitchen. And her dd does eat meat, so it doesn't sound like the daughter was disturbed by any "hunting" pictures etc. Her daughter is a vegan. Not sure where you got the idea her dd eats meat. Her dd is a vegan. "She is not just vegan, but eats almost only raw food, mostly fruit. She eats about 15 bananas a day. The only thing she cooks are beans and lentils and rice." |
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craftykitten
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Jun 26, 2014 7:39:32 GMT
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Post by craftykitten on Dec 23, 2014 18:27:06 GMT
It's only a drama if you make it one. You sound quite disparaging about her lifestyle so perhaps she just wants to keep things separate?
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
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Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on Dec 23, 2014 18:27:08 GMT
Heck, I'm a meat eater, my family hunts, and I'd UNfriend you! Yikes. Who the hell eats alpaca's? and then posts pic's of it? Yi I think I'm missing something here. Her daughter is not morally opposed to eating meat. Who eats alpacas? Lots of people eat alpaca. Lots of people eat cow.
Would you unfriend a person who posted a picture of themselves grilling a steak?
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iluvpink
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Location: Michigan
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Post by iluvpink on Dec 23, 2014 18:32:38 GMT
The OP has said that there weren't any pictures of the animal's carcass, etc. Just her making the sausage in the kitchen. And her dd does eat meat, so it doesn't sound like the daughter was disturbed by any "hunting" pictures etc. Her daughter is a vegan. Not sure where you got the idea her dd eats meat. Her dd is a vegan. "She is not just vegan, but eats almost only raw food, mostly fruit. She eats about 15 bananas a day. The only thing she cooks are beans and lentils and rice." Oops, sorry. I guess I read the part where she responded about her dd not being opposed to meat for animal cruelty but health reasons and interpreted that wrong in my head somehow. Still, while I can understand her dd not wanting to see pictures of meat, many seemed to think that it was just awful of the OP to post a picture of such a thing. I don't think posting a picture of some meat in your kitchen is a horrid thing that's going to offend most people and thus one should avoid it. |
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 17, 2024 2:36:02 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2014 18:36:47 GMT
Oops, sorry. I guess I read the part where she responded about her dd not being opposed to meat for animal cruelty but health reasons and interpreted that wrong in my head somehow. Still, while I can understand her dd not wanting to see pictures of meat, many seemed to think that it was just awful of the OP to post a picture of such a thing. I don't think posting a picture of some meat in your kitchen is a horrid thing that's going to offend most people and thus one should avoid it. It may not offend most of us because most of us are meat eaters. It would offend most vegans or at least be tiresome to deal with. The op has a choice: say it is my right to cook meat, take photos of it and post it to instagram and cause her daughter to further reduce contact over it. Or the op can realize this issue is a big deal to that daughter and respect it so that meat cooking is left off of social media. If the daughter was a pea and posted about how insensitive her mother was to post sausage making photos on social media the dd would have the support. |
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Post by gmcwife1 on Dec 23, 2014 19:07:59 GMT
Oops, sorry. I guess I read the part where she responded about her dd not being opposed to meat for animal cruelty but health reasons and interpreted that wrong in my head somehow. Still, while I can understand her dd not wanting to see pictures of meat, many seemed to think that it was just awful of the OP to post a picture of such a thing. I don't think posting a picture of some meat in your kitchen is a horrid thing that's going to offend most people and thus one should avoid it. It may not offend most of us because most of us are meat eaters. It would offend most vegans or at least be tiresome to deal with. The op has a choice: say it is my right to cook meat, take photos of it and post it to instagram and cause her daughter to further reduce contact over it. Or the op can realize this issue is a big deal to that daughter and respect it so that meat cooking is left off of social media. If the daughter was a pea and posted about how insensitive her mother was to post sausage making photos on social media the dd would have the support. Support if it was MIL, might be iffy on support if it was mom You know how fickle the Peas can be |
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I don't care who follows me on FB and who does not.
