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Post by peasapie on Jan 19, 2015 16:09:10 GMT
My daughter got a puppy 7 years ago when she was living off campus while in college. Cute little guy. She had him for around 8 months and then decided to spend a summer on a ranch where she couldn't bring him. I agreed to take him for the summer. After the summer, I was so attached I asked my daughter if she minded if I kept him, and she understood.
Kids make mistakes. Me? I would take the puppy for a while. But I would never presume to tell someone else what they should or shouldn't do in this case.
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mallie
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,253
Jul 3, 2014 18:13:13 GMT
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Post by mallie on Jan 19, 2015 16:29:03 GMT
I would not have taken the dog. She got herself into the problem and was deceitful and manipulative? Sorry, baby, you on your own.
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Post by Dori~Mama~Bear on Jan 19, 2015 16:29:49 GMT
I would have taken the puppy. I know that you are upset about this but like you said it is your daughters puppy. I would have told her that I would take the puppy for 3 months until she turns 6 months old. In the mean time daughter would be finding puppy a proper for ever home or getting ready to take puppy back. I would be making a schedule for the other family members on who will care for puppy when so that everybody knows their roles and the times they need to be with the puppy. I know that life is life but if you all work and go to school then there has to be some kind of schedule on who does what with/for puppy when. Like feed water, potty, bathe, walk, play with.
In our house daughter and I do most of the work with the dogs. but we do work together and we know when who is going to feed them. We have them on a twice daily feeding time so it is easy. Our biggest issue in our house is where the little one is going to sleep. he does have his nightly person. one night it might be me and husband that he wants to sleep with or he wants to sleep with daughter. and if he wants out in the middle of the night (too tiny to make hold all night) he always wants to go in with daughter after he comes back in the house.
I hope all goes well with puppy.
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Post by Pahina722 on Jan 19, 2015 17:21:18 GMT
That puppy would not be coming into my house. We have told DS that if he wants another dog (we had to put down our last a couple of months ago), he will have to wait until he has graduated from college and has his own pet friendly home. We don't have the time, energy, or desire to raise another dog.
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Post by pierkiss on Jan 19, 2015 17:44:37 GMT
Nope. I love dogs and think they're wonderful creatures.
But I am not having one live in my house. I am allergic, they smell, and I don't want to have to clean up the poop.
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georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846
Jun 27, 2014 18:02:10 GMT
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Post by georgiapea on Jan 19, 2015 17:55:11 GMT
Puppies are hard work. But as a huge animal lover I would have caved I'm sure. We found a starving pup by the side of a road and he's now a family member. Do the best you can with this little guy.
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mstubble
Junior Member
Posts: 81
Jun 26, 2014 23:42:13 GMT
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Post by mstubble on Jan 20, 2015 3:21:52 GMT
The pup would be coming to me on one condition. It is forever mine. Mine to keep, mine to rehome, mine to have put down. MINE. No one else in the family will have a say. And the dog would be taken to the humane shelter tomorrow morning. This isn't a group decision. And if the college dd acquires another dog I'd be pulling any support I send her. She obviously has too much time on her hands and do much funding if she can afford to care for a dog on her allowance. eta: now you can feel not quite so evil. I'm more evil than you. You're a saint and your dd is taking advantage of it. Most likely the OP can't do any of these. Almost all rescues require that an adopted animal be returned to the rescue. So if you are not going to keep this dog until your daughter can keep it at school, then your daughter needs to return the dog to the organization she fosters for; do not re-home or take to the Humane Society.
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Post by librarylady on Jan 20, 2015 3:30:14 GMT
Husband, daughter, and son should be 100% responsible for caring for the puppy. They want it, they take care of it. I WOULD NOT care for the puppy, clean up, feed, water or walk the dog. They want it, they have the responsibility. "I'm at work." tough "I'm at school." tough Dog makes mess--one of those that want the dog would be the one to clean it up. I'd be Miss Hard Hearted Hannah.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 11, 2024 4:55:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2015 3:30:41 GMT
What would I have done? I wouldn't have taken the dog. Ok, well, I would have taken it with the understanding that I was going to start looking for a safe, loving home for it immediately.
I have a dog, but I have also tried to impress upon my kids that pets are a big deal and you can't just buy one on a whim. I know your dd knows they are a big responsibility...she is doing a great thing by fostering the dogs at school. But, I also don't believe that that she just found out she couldn't have the dog and was only given 12 hours notice to get rid of it.
If you don't want the dog, don't keep it. Don't give in.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 11, 2024 4:55:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2015 4:03:34 GMT
I am with you in that I think she had much more than a 12 hour notice. I would be really frustrated. I don't know how I would handle it.
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vickie
Junior Member
I am bilingual. I speak sarcasm as a second language.
Posts: 97
Jun 27, 2014 1:10:46 GMT
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Post by vickie on Jan 20, 2015 4:04:56 GMT
You have been totally manipulated! I would make sure that puppy duty fell on everyone except ME in this situation! Mom's always end up taking care of the pets. "Oh mom, pleeeeeaaase can we get a puppy??? We PROMISE we will take care of it!" Yea, right! That lasts about a week, then it is mom's responsibility. Ugh!
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QueenoftheSloths
Drama Llama
Member Since January 2004, 2,698 forum posts PeaNut Number: 122614 PeaBoard Title: StuckOnPeas
Posts: 5,955
Jun 26, 2014 0:29:24 GMT
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Post by QueenoftheSloths on Jan 20, 2015 4:07:04 GMT
Don't punish the puppy for your daughter's lack of foresight. Open your heart, and your home, at least temporarily.
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Post by theroadlesstraveledp on Jan 20, 2015 4:13:03 GMT
I would be annoyed too. Firstly at the (possible) deception by your DD, and then the fact that you were "bullied" and guilted into taking the dog by the rest of your family. If I were in your position I would NOT do a damn thing in relation to looking after the dog. If the rest of them are so keen on keeping the dog, then make them do EVERYTHING for it - feed it, walk it, clean up after it - everything. sounds harsh but it is true.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 11, 2024 4:55:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2015 4:27:16 GMT
The pup would be coming to me on one condition. It is forever mine. Mine to keep, mine to rehome, mine to have put down. MINE. No one else in the family will have a say. And the dog would be taken to the humane shelter tomorrow morning. This isn't a group decision. And if the college dd acquires another dog I'd be pulling any support I send her. She obviously has too much time on her hands and do much funding if she can afford to care for a dog on her allowance. eta: now you can feel not quite so evil. I'm more evil than you. You're a saint and your dd is taking advantage of it. Most likely the OP can't do any of these. Almost all rescues require that an adopted animal be returned to the rescue. So if you are not going to keep this dog until your daughter can keep it at school, then your daughter needs to return the dog to the organization she fosters for; do not re-home or take to the Humane Society. !) Any agreement would be between the college student and the rescue. By putting the dog in her parent's home she has already re-homed it. So I doubt there is such an agreement in place. 2) If such an agreement is in place I wasn't the one that signed it. I don't have to abide by a contract I didn't sign. 3) I have serious doubts about the ethics of any rescue or shelter that will allow a college student living in a dorm to permanently adopt a dog even if the dorm is pet friendly. Foster is one thing. Permanent adoption is another. If it really was one of the organizations working with the college they knew the rules about the dog's age, shots, spay, etc.
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Post by 950nancy on Jan 20, 2015 5:58:06 GMT
You had every right to say no. I am anxious to see how much the rest of your family helps. That being said, I have a puppy addiction like some ladies have for babies. If someone called me tonight to tell me I was getting one, I would be over the moon. I know I am in the minority on this, but puppies are the BOMB!
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Post by 950nancy on Jan 20, 2015 6:02:52 GMT
Well, on the bright side, she isn't asking you to take care of a baby… or maybe some people would prefer that. I just can't imagine that!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 11, 2024 4:55:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2015 6:12:58 GMT
@just T I think we will need to get a puppy for my mother when our elderly dogs pass away and we aren't ready for a new dog. We love ours so much. They eat better than most humans do. We give them excellent care, food, love, exercise, etc. and that is why they are alive now.
We aren't ready for a new dog. Our boy dog is my mother's baby. She loves him so much. He doesn't love anyone but himself. He is so aloof and you earn affection from him. Yeah, I know we suck as owners but he is very beautiful and a lovely addition to our family. He is old and sick.
The girl is old too. She isn't sick but she is deaf and maybe a little crazy. She will be 15 in a couple of weeks. She is definitely old. My mother loves to snuggle up to her because she is very affectionate and loves to cuddle.
Back to you...your puppy adventure will improve. It will. You will grow to love her I am sure. Your daughter is just "young" and she has a beautiful heart. She doesn't fully get the implications of what she did, yet. You will love puppy though. You will cuddle her, and put her in your apron and walk around the house talking to her. You will tell her if you are having a good day or a bad day. She will understand if your hair is a mess and you don't feel like getting dressed. She will just tell you with kisses that everything is going to be ok. That's why God made puppies.
You will get through this. You will.
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Post by spitfiregirl on Jan 20, 2015 7:08:35 GMT
I am so beyond PI$$ED at my daughter right now. Way way WAY beyond pissed.
Not sure if anyone remembers my post around Christmas about my college daughter, who goes to a pet friendly college, who without telling me adopted a puppy. A 3 month old puppy who wasn't potty trained.
Well...I'll start from now and back track and do my best to keep this short.
She called me tonight, at 8 PM, and said that she can't keep the puppy because the school requirement is that all dogs have to be 1)--6 months old 2)--spayed/neutered and 3)--current on shots. At Christmas time, she told me that she might not be able to get away with having this puppy in her room until she is 6 months, but if she got "caught," her friend's boyfriend, who has her puppy's sister, would keep her if it was a problem.
Well, guess what? Its now become a "problem." She called me tonight, at 8:00, to tell me that she has until 8 am tomorrow to get the puppy out of her room. She's under the age requirement, she isn't spayed, but will be soon...our vet says she is too young. Daughter is crying, "I don't know what to do!" The friend's boyfriend won't take her after all. I told her she will have to get up early in the morning and take the puppy to the Humane Society then because I am NOT going to take the puppy. She is sweet as can be, but I have NO energy or patience for a puppy. She cries some more. I tell her, "sorry, life lesson learned here. Puppies are a LOT of work, you don't need that now...you should NEVER EVER EVER have gotten a puppy, I don't want that work," yada yada.
I hang up. My husband and daughter and son, who have overheard this conversation, think I am horrible. Terrible. MEAN. They ask me, "What is she supposed to do?" And, "She can't find a home for the puppy by 8 am tomorrow!" And, "We have to take her!"
Yeah. So, we are taking her. My daughter and her roommate are on their way here with the darn puppy. UGH. I have let my traitor family know in NO uncertain terms that this will be a team effort, and that if I ended up being the only one taking care of and training this puppy, I will also be the one finding her a new home.
Did I say, "UGH??" This puppy is so sweet and cute. She really really is. But...she is very high energy, as puppies tend to be. She is close to being housebroken now, but not close enough that she can be ignored. I work. The dog is now crate trained, thankfully, but still. She's a PUPPY.
I am so pissed at my daughter. I have the sneaky feeling that she didn't just find out tonight that the puppy has to be gone by morning. She goes to a pet-friendly school that has a foster program (that my daughter is in and receives scholarship money for!). They have to know how hard it can be to find a new home for a pet, and I really do NOT for one damn second believe that they gave her 12 hours to find a new home for the dog. I think she knew and was afraid to tell me. I am pissed at the rest of my family for bullying me into taking this puppy in. My daughter has fallen head over heals in love with her puppy, and I am pissed that we are baling her out, when I didn't want to.
I realize this post is all over the place, and I'm sorry. I am just trying to calm myself down while she is on her way here with the puppy. She goes to a school two hours away, she should be here in an hour...her roommate is with her, but man...I am pissed. And not happy about her driving home and back to school so late. I am so not happy about inheriting this puppy.
I am feeling really evil and thinking that best revenge of all will be that we all fall head over heals in love with this puppy, get her trained, and then not want to give her up and give her back to my daughter when she is old enough to live in the dorm. [ Well, you're not the only one. I told my son not to get a dog while he was away at college. Guess what? He did. And guess who is sleeping at the foot of my bed, while their "owner" is 800 miles away at college? This kind of stuff happens. To be honest, the dog has turned out to be a great companion. It was much easier than I thought it would be. Even though when I first got the dog, it wasn't even allowed in my condo. I had to sneak it in. I'll be sad to see her go when my son takes her. It's still his dog, but I watch over her. Maybe your puppy will turn out great like mine did. Take one day at a time. It might all work out ok.
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Post by scrappinmom3 on Jan 20, 2015 7:26:37 GMT
We have one of those puppies. Different details but same end result. He is now 3 1/2 and I am madly in love with him. My ds, not so much at the moment.
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mstubble
Junior Member
Posts: 81
Jun 26, 2014 23:42:13 GMT
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Post by mstubble on Jan 20, 2015 11:11:46 GMT
Most likely the OP can't do any of these. Almost all rescues require that an adopted animal be returned to the rescue. So if you are not going to keep this dog until your daughter can keep it at school, then your daughter needs to return the dog to the organization she fosters for; do not re-home or take to the Humane Society. !) Any agreement would be between the college student and the rescue. By putting the dog in her parent's home she has already re-homed it. So I doubt there is such an agreement in place. 2) If such an agreement is in place I wasn't the one that signed it. I don't have to abide by a contract I didn't sign. 3) I have serious doubts about the ethics of any rescue or shelter that will allow a college student living in a dorm to permanently adopt a dog even if the dorm is pet friendly. Foster is one thing. Permanent adoption is another. If it really was one of the organizations working with the college they knew the rules about the dog's age, shots, spay, etc. Having the dog stay with her parents in the home she lives in (I assume she is still a resident of her parents home when not living in the dorm) is not re-homing. The OP didn't sign an agreement but the daughter did and the organization could come after the daughter for not following the agreement and returning the dog to them. All I'm pointing out is that the way to handle this and to prevent any issues for the daughter is to return the dog to the organization he/she came from. They have already invested the time and money in this dog and it will be much easier for them to re-home and they will find the dog a home and not euthanize. I don't understand why the easiest and most obvious solution is such an issue. I'm involved with dog rescues and Ive seen all kinds of things happen when people with the best intentions re-home a dog from a rescue. Last thing I want is someone charged with dog larceny because they broke their agreement. Oh and there are legitimate organizations that do work with colleges and allow college students to adopt; most work with vet colleges but it does happen.
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Post by utmr on Jan 20, 2015 13:02:13 GMT
It would be nice to return the dog to the original rescue, but I don't see how the agreement you sign is legally binding or how the rescue would have any recourse against the owner. Or how they would know you got rid of the dog for that matter.
I'm not a lawyer, but a dog is personal property. Absent abuse, you can do what you want with it - give it to mom, find another owner, take it to the pound. I wouldn't get too worried about the rescue coming after me
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Post by buddysmom on Jan 20, 2015 14:22:54 GMT
My DD did that with a cat--obviously a lot less work than a dog.
She had found a kitten on campus her freshman year and kept her in her dorm.
At Christmas, the RA did an "inspection" of the room and left a note--
"Take down the Christmas lights (fire hazard) and get rid of the cat."
So we have had the cat for two years now. Oh and she found another kitten about six months before that we also adopted. I told her no more!
Now we have two dogs and three cats.
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,555
Jun 26, 2014 1:20:09 GMT
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Post by Just T on Jan 20, 2015 14:27:52 GMT
Sorry I didn't come back.
Just to clarify a few things that people have mentioned... She didn't adopt the dog from the organization she fosters through, so there isn't an organization to give the puppy back to. She adopted her from a friend's mom. She is going to ask if she wants her back, but her friend says it's not likely.
I am going to try to find her a new home. She is super sweet, but man, puppies are so much work, and I'm just not up for it. My daughter swears she will take her back once she is 6 months old and spayed, but I'm not sure I want her to. Also, I have a sneaky feeling the dog is going to be pretty large, and I think she will be over the size requirement. I'm telling everyone I know that if they know someone who wants a puppy, I've got an adorable one.
For those saying I shouldn't have taken the puppy, in theory, I know you are right...she made the mess. That is one reason I'm so angry with her--I got manipulated into a dog I didn't want. However, I honestly don't know what she would have done otherwise. She was told to have the dog out by 8 am, and it was Sunday night. I would rather have taken the puppy myself rather than have her just go dump it somewhere. She wouldn't have done that anyway, but still.
Thanks for all of the thoughts and suggestions. So far so good. Thankfully, the puppy is crate trained and is doing pretty good at potty training. MUCH better than she was at Christmas.
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mstubble
Junior Member
Posts: 81
Jun 26, 2014 23:42:13 GMT
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Post by mstubble on Jan 20, 2015 14:40:42 GMT
It would be nice to return the dog to the original rescue, but I don't see how the agreement you sign is legally binding or how the rescue would have any recourse against the owner. Or how they would know you got rid of the dog for that matter. I'm not a lawyer, but a dog is personal property. Absent abuse, you can do what you want with it - give it to mom, find another owner, take it to the pound. I wouldn't get too worried about the rescue coming after me Dog adoption contracts, just like any other contract, are legally binding in a court of law. They will and do charge people with dog larceny for keeping a dog that belongs to someone else. It's rare but I've seen it happen and I've been told by our local animal control that if the animal shelter tells them someone is in possession of a dog that belongs to someone else, they will arrest them. But that's beside the point now since we know that the OP's daughter didn't adopt from the rescue she fosters for. The OP should contact a local no kill shelter or dog rescue and have the dog re-homed.
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,555
Jun 26, 2014 1:20:09 GMT
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Post by Just T on Jan 20, 2015 15:44:33 GMT
I meant to add a photo since some of you asked. Here is a picture of the dog and the girl that is in the doghouse. They're both pretty adorable. I guess if my daughter has to have a bad trait, it's nice that she has way too much of a soft spot for animals. She has definitely learned a very hard lesson.
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Post by beebee on Jan 20, 2015 16:19:28 GMT
I meant to add a photo since some of you asked. Here is a picture of the dog and the girl that is in the doghouse. They're both pretty adorable. I guess if my daughter has to have a bad trait, it's nice that she has way too much of a soft spot for animals. She has definitely learned a very hard lesson.
I think your daughter and the puppy are adorable! If this were my daughter, I really would keep the puppy for her. I personally think the world needs more like her. Yes, she probably should not have gotten it in the first place but it's not the end of the world.
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Post by utmr on Jan 20, 2015 16:26:30 GMT
Dog adoption contracts, just like any other contract, are legally binding in a court of law. They will and do charge people with dog larceny for keeping a dog that belongs to someone else. It's rare but I've seen it happen and I've been told by our local animal control that if the animal shelter tells them someone is in possession of a dog that belongs to someone else, they will arrest them. . [/quote] You're right. I did some Google reading (instead of what I should have been doing lol) and holy cow. Apparently there are some legal nuances depending on if the contract is a bill of sale or an adoption but the rescue can come after you in court for money and/or the dog back. I guess instead of rehoming the dog you just have it put down? That's crazy. Our experience with a rescue was that they lied about the dogs breed, health, and age, and when we tried to return it to them (as in the agreement) they refused to respond to email or phone calls. What were we supposed to do then? The fact that these agreements are enforceable is amazing to me. Shaking my head.
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Peamac
Pearl Clutcher
Refupea # 418
Posts: 4,218
Jun 26, 2014 0:09:18 GMT
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Post by Peamac on Jan 20, 2015 16:50:25 GMT
What a cute puppy!
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 11, 2024 4:55:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2015 19:00:35 GMT
That pup isn't going to grow up to be a dog... it is going to grow up to be horse sized.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 11, 2024 4:55:23 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2015 19:13:02 GMT
As much as I'd like to chant 'tough love' and all that, I know that I would cave and help one of my daughters if they needed it, regardless of fault, blame, manipulation, short-notice, etc. No one ever had my back when I was young. I want them to know they can count on me if they get into a bind.
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