Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,544 
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Post by Just T on Jan 19, 2015 4:43:07 GMT
I am so beyond PI$$ED at my daughter right now. Way way WAY beyond pissed.
Not sure if anyone remembers my post around Christmas about my college daughter, who goes to a pet friendly college, who without telling me adopted a puppy. A 3 month old puppy who wasn't potty trained.
Well...I'll start from now and back track and do my best to keep this short.
She called me tonight, at 8 PM, and said that she can't keep the puppy because the school requirement is that all dogs have to be 1)--6 months old 2)--spayed/neutered and 3)--current on shots. At Christmas time, she told me that she might not be able to get away with having this puppy in her room until she is 6 months, but if she got "caught," her friend's boyfriend, who has her puppy's sister, would keep her if it was a problem.
Well, guess what? It's now become a "problem." She called me tonight, at 8:00, to tell me that she has until 8 am tomorrow to get the puppy out of her room. She's under the age requirement, she isn't spayed, but will be soon...our vet says she is too young. Daughter is crying, "I don't know what to do!" The friend's boyfriend won't take her after all. I told her she will have to get up early in the morning and take the puppy to the Humane Society then because I am NOT going to take the puppy. She is sweet as can be, but I have NO energy or patience for a puppy. She cries some more. I tell her, "sorry, life lesson learned here. Puppies are a LOT of work, you don't need that now...you should NEVER EVER EVER have gotten a puppy, I don't want that work," yada yada.
I hang up. My husband and daughter and son, who have overheard this conversation, think I am horrible. Terrible. MEAN. They ask me, "What is she supposed to do?" And, "She can't find a home for the puppy by 8 am tomorrow!" And, "We have to take her!"
Yeah. So, we are taking her. My daughter and her roommate are on their way here with the darn puppy.
UGH. I have let my traitor family know in NO uncertain terms that this will be a team effort, and that if I ended up being the only one taking care of and training this puppy, I will also be the one finding her a new home.
Did I say, "UGH? ?" This puppy is so sweet and cute. She really really is. But...she is very high energy, as puppies tend to be. She is close to being housebroken now, but not close enough that she can be ignored. I work. The dog is now crate trained, thankfully, but still. She's a PUPPY.
I am so pissed at my daughter. I have the sneaky feeling that she didn't just find out tonight that the puppy has to be gone by morning. She goes to a pet-friendly school that has a foster program (that my daughter is in and receives scholarship money for!). They have to know how hard it can be to find a new home for a pet, and I really do NOT for one damn second believe that they gave her 12 hours to find a new home for the dog. I think she knew and was afraid to tell me. I am pissed at the rest of my family for bullying me into taking this puppy in. My daughter has fallen head over heals in love with her puppy, and I am pissed that we are baling her out, when I didn't want to.
I realize this post is all over the place, and I'm sorry. I am just trying to calm myself down while she is on her way here with the puppy. She goes to a school two hours away, she should be here in an hour...her roommate is with her, but man...I am pissed. And not happy about her driving home and back to school so late. I am so not happy about inheriting this puppy.
I am feeling really evil and thinking that best revenge of all will be that we all fall head over heals in love with this puppy, get her trained, and then not want to give her up and give her back to my daughter when she is old enough to live in the dorm.  |
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Deleted
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May 15, 2024 19:24:50 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 19, 2015 4:45:34 GMT
I don't know what I would've done, but I would be very angry at being manipulated into taking the dog.
I would also make darn sure that the rest of the family was doing their fair share of taking care of the dog.
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YooHoot
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,417
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Post by YooHoot on Jan 19, 2015 4:46:43 GMT
A pet friendly college? Who thought this would be a good idea? Most young adults can't take care of a houseplant. Glad you are helping your dd but I understand your frustration. Just be glad it's a puppy and not a baby!  |
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MDscrapaholic
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,369
Location: Down by the bay....
Jun 25, 2014 20:49:07 GMT
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Post by MDscrapaholic on Jan 19, 2015 4:46:59 GMT
I agree. The puppy will fall in love with you and will not go back with your daughter!
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Post by sugarmama on Jan 19, 2015 4:47:58 GMT
I'd be pissed too, but I can't resist having a puppy around. |
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Post by ScrapsontheRocks on Jan 19, 2015 4:52:26 GMT
You are not evil- strength to you. Manipulation sucks and as you know your daughter best, you are probably spot on. Best of luck and many loving licks to you.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 15, 2024 19:24:50 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 19, 2015 4:55:56 GMT
The pup would be coming to me on one condition. It is forever mine. Mine to keep, mine to rehome, mine to have put down. MINE. No one else in the family will have a say. And the dog would be taken to the humane shelter tomorrow morning. This isn't a group decision. And if the college dd acquires another dog I'd be pulling any support I send her. She obviously has too much time on her hands and do much funding if she can afford to care for a dog on her allowance.
eta: now you can feel not quite so evil. I'm more evil than you. You're a saint and your dd is taking advantage of it.
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Post by bc2ca on Jan 19, 2015 5:00:02 GMT
I'd probably be doing what you are doing, and be feeling angry & manipulated.
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,544
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Post by Just T on Jan 19, 2015 5:06:44 GMT
Yeah. It's definitely interesting. She goes to a small private college. They have pet-friendly dorms. They also work with a local organization that hooks students up with animals that need foster care. My daughter has had 3 "foster dogs" this school year. She is a pet/animal lover, and was so thrilled to be accepted into the fostering program. She adopted this particular dog without telling us until it was a done deal.
I told my husband when she was home at Christmas that I had a very bad feeling about the whole thing. She was only home for a week because she plays basketball there, too...but I just KNEW that something was stinky. LOL
Now, at least I know I was right. Not that I WANT to be right. 
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conchita
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,141
Jul 1, 2014 11:25:58 GMT
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Post by conchita on Jan 19, 2015 5:08:24 GMT
I would have bullied them all right back. No way would I be taking in that pup. No way. Daughter would be dealing with the consequences and I'd be staunchly roasting marshmallows in hell but would be okay because of my cold, cold heart. Just call me Cruela De Ville!
Honestly though, I hope by you keeping the dog that it becomes fiercely loyal to you and only you. Everyone else can clean up doggie piddle and poo and wake up in the wee hours of the morning to let her outside to pee. They can do all the work and you reap all the benefits. Puppy snuggles, cuddles and sniffs only for you and no one else.
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,544
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Post by Just T on Jan 19, 2015 5:13:01 GMT
No, she really doesn't have much of either. She plays basketball, travels, etc. That is the main reason why I was so upset with her for adopting the puppy. And, her "allowance" comes from US. LOL
She is just a dumb animal-loving girl. I say that with the utmost kindness and love, because I have always loved her giving spirit. I just wished she would have waited until after college to act upon that loving, giving spirit.
OH, give me strength...she just pulled into the driveway...
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Deleted
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May 15, 2024 19:24:50 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 19, 2015 5:14:05 GMT
Have you considered that if she can't abide by the pet rules she may not be in a good college situation for her? Taking care of dogs that she doesn't have the emotionally capacity to say "no" to can derail her education.
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,368
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Jan 19, 2015 5:14:20 GMT
How many months till the puppy is 6 months old and can return to the dorms? Also the DD would either be paying for all the food and vet bills or would be working that money off over breaks and summer by doing chores. Good luck.
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Post by Sukkii on Jan 19, 2015 5:16:45 GMT
I'd be really pissed too but would take the pup and make sure the rest of the family know it is a joint effort. Start NOW delegating responsibilities.
I had a similar thing with my DD in 2013. Her BF at the time was living with his mum in a small flat, a distant friend of a friend had passed away leaving a 4 year old Staffordshire Bull Terrier and the BF wanted my DD to 'look after' the dog until he found a flat so he could take the dog. I had just arrived back in Scotland and told DD we would foster the dog for the short-term but there was absolutely no way she was getting to keep it long-term. She is in Uni, has a part-time job and a 4 year old Staffie needs loads of exercise. We had Rocky for about 5 weeks and he was a total joy but hard work. My DD soon realised, even with my help, that keeping him was not realistic and we found him a lovely home. She is Facebook friends with his new owner and has visited him a couple of times and can really see how happy he is
Anyway, perhaps this episode will show your DD that getting a pet, any pet, is a huge responsibility and maybe she will think twice about doing something like this again. My DD and DS got two cats without asking us, they are living in our house in Scotland and we were both pissed about it and when I go back there I do feed and water the cats and love them - but will not clean the litter tray. Not my cats I say
ETA: I must say my kids have been fantastic cat owners, they pay for all the food, litter, toys, vet bills (vaccinations/sterilisation) pet insurance. DH and I are the softies and have bought the catties a play tree, water fountain and super deluxe litter boxes |
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Post by crazy4scraps on Jan 19, 2015 5:16:56 GMT
Ugh, indeed! BOTH of my sister's DD's did that to her, and she doesn't even like dogs! At all! First the older one came home with a chihuahua that was a "gift" from her BF when she was in college. She dumped the BF and ended up back at home and guess who got to take care of the dog? Yup, mom. Then the middle kid goes away to school and gets a BOXER that she bought with her BF. BF dumped her, she ended up back at home with the dog. Yeah, my sister that doesn't like dogs in the house had TWO of them that she got to take care of while both girls were constantly at school and/or work. Nice.
We're dog people and we've always had 2-3 of them at a time for the last 25+ years, but I can still relate. Our three are all old right now and when these guys are gone I NEED a break from pet ownership. It's a lot of work and responsibility, and ours are all trained! I'm the one home with them during the day, I'm the one who feeds them, makes sure they have clean water, let them in and out countless times a day, mop up the dirt, mud and snow they track in, vacuum up the dog hair balls constantly and clean up their puke. I'm also sick of the near constant barking every time anyone walks past the house (even across the street!), which people do all. day. long. I've already told DH that the next dog we get will be a few YEARS down the road when DD is old enough to really help out with caring for one. Key word there being ONE! More than one is just too much work.
Good luck, I hope that if you end up keeping it that it will not be all on you to take care of it, and if you end up giving it back to your DD once it's old enough that it doesn't break your heart too much to let it go back!
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Post by scrapmaven on Jan 19, 2015 5:19:35 GMT
Is there an on-campus vet service that offers free/low cost care? The idea of a pet friendly college is really cool, but how do students afford pet food, supplies and medical care? Seems like a college student is booked and doesn't have money or time for a pet. How did things go w/your dd?
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Deleted
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May 15, 2024 19:24:50 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jan 19, 2015 5:27:13 GMT
Husband, daughter, and son should be 100% responsible for caring for the puppy. They want it, they take care of it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 19, 2015 5:31:32 GMT
I am baffled I have kept my son alive for 19 years. I kill every plant I have ever owned (except some aloe vera someone gave me). I kill all silk plants too. A puppy? Goodness. I couldn't deal with a young dog. (A puppy sounds cute). A young dog sounds like work. My mother is trying to talk me into having another baby. WTF?
You aren't mean. You aren't cruel. You are being manipulated but I don't know what I would do. My son (boy remember) likes animals but not enough to have one of his own. If he gets anything it will be a goldfish. I would not encourage him to attend a school that supported pet adoption. Teens (I am assuming your daughter has a wonderful heart and is a loving girl) but she isn't ready to take care of a young dog. She has to study, attend classes, do research, eat (either make her food, shop, or go to the cafeteria but all this takes time), there is laundry, recreation (I don't mean play constantly but get exercise, or do aerobics, gym, swim, walk or something). First year student doesn't have time for a young dog. My son is in first year too and he doesn't have time for anything. You are very sweet for taking in this new family member. I hope she adjusts to your family life quickly. She may revert to peeing and pooping in the house as this is a big change for her and she won't understand what has happened. Make every single family member work with this new pet. Every single one of them. No one gets out of walking, taking out to pee, training...everything!
Wishing you good luck! I am sure you will fall in love with the dog. I am sure she melt your heart as soon as she kisses you. Oh man that new puppy smell too. And they way they shake their ears. I love puppies. I wish my old dogs were still puppies.
Take pictures of her when she arrives!!!
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Post by chaosisapony on Jan 19, 2015 5:45:33 GMT
Your daughter is an idiot. She goes to a pet friendly college that works with fostering animals and she was too stupid to realize she would get caught having a puppy that violates the rules? She is clearly not mature enough for pet ownership. You are a much better person than I am because as much as I love animals that dog would be on Craigslist and all local Facebook animal groups the next day to find a new home.
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Post by epeanymous on Jan 19, 2015 5:45:47 GMT
Good luck. You are less evil than I am, if that makes you feel better, because I would not take a puppy. I would send out emails, post on local parenting lists, and otherwise assist in rehoming, and I might house the puppy for a few days if that were logistically necessary to get it to a new home. But that home would not be my home.
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Post by yoursweetwhimsy on Jan 19, 2015 6:03:32 GMT
We foster puppies and usually have at least two at all times. They can be a lot of work, but do really well on a schedule. Plus, there is nothing better than cuddling with that sweet baby every evening. My current two get sleepy around 7:00 and become the biggest snugglers. I look forward to it every night!
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,544
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Post by Just T on Jan 19, 2015 6:23:25 GMT
Gee. Thanks so much. She is NOT an idiot. She loves animals/pets. When she was a kid, she wanted to bring home every stray animal she saw. Yeah, she made a bad decision. She just left here in tears with her roommate and another good friend. She loves this puppy, and she feels terrible that she made a snap decision to adopt her. She sobbed and sobbed into my shoulder. She brought her friends with her for moral support. They both hugged me when they left and said that they love my daughter's kind heart.
I guess if that makes her an idiot, so be it.
I was pissed when I posted this because I got bullied into taking in this puppy. Yes, I was pissed at my daughter. I do not think she is an idiot.
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Just T
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,544
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Post by Just T on Jan 19, 2015 6:26:10 GMT
I did tell her that if it doesn't work out, if we can't housebreak her or give her the time and exercise and attention that she needs, I WILL look for another home for her. She cried, but she agreed that she just wants the puppy to be happy.
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NoWomanNoCry
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,856
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Post by NoWomanNoCry on Jan 19, 2015 6:48:47 GMT
I personally don't think your DD is a idiot. I guess I see myself in her lol I'm always wanting to rescue animals. I do understand why you're upset and you have every right to be. Maybe it's hard to see it now but I do think you did the right thing because the dog is at least in a home and not in a shelter.
Good luck with the puppy!
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gramma
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,903
Location: Sacramento, Ca
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Post by gramma on Jan 19, 2015 7:13:03 GMT
JustT - I don't think your daughter is an idiot and I think that was a mean thing to say.
Several years ago our daughter brought Home a pup. Her dad stood in the door and hollered at her that she could not have the dog. A year or so passed and she moved out leaving her little dog with us. A year or so passed, she married, they bought a house. She wanted to take her dog. Her dad said - I told you years ago you couldn't have that dog - and you still can't!!
Maybe this pup will turn into your number one buddy!
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Post by leftturnonly on Jan 19, 2015 7:23:12 GMT
I am feeling really evil and thinking that best revenge of all will be that we all fall head over heals in love with this puppy, get her trained, and then not want to give her up and give her back to my daughter when she is old enough to live in the dorm. If your revenge is falling in love with a puppy that you are forced to take care of, well, then all I can say is I'm glad to know you (if only on the board). I hope you get your revenge!  |
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Post by jumperhop on Jan 19, 2015 7:45:10 GMT
In no way were you being mean. That is ridiculous. You just taught her that it's ok to manipulate you she will be doing something like this again in the future.
Taking on a dog is a huge 24*7 10 year+ responsibility not to mention the financial responsibility. Dog ownership should not be manipulated on your lap.
having said that, I love my dog she is my bestie! She was manipulated on my lap. Best thing ever.
jen
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Post by lightetc on Jan 19, 2015 8:17:46 GMT
I'm 27 and the commitment involved in a pet terrifies me. Pretty sure it will have to wait until I'm married. (I may be a little twisted, but at least in marriage you're only semi responsible for another life. Theoretically they contribute to their well being as well).
I'm glad your husband, son and daughter have so generously offered to take on all responsibility involved in their new dog.
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Post by AussieMeg on Jan 19, 2015 8:33:15 GMT
I would be annoyed too. Firstly at the (possible) deception by your DD, and then the fact that you were "bullied" and guilted into taking the dog by the rest of your family. If I were in your position I would NOT do a damn thing in relation to looking after the dog. If the rest of them are so keen on keeping the dog, then make them do EVERYTHING for it - feed it, walk it, clean up after it - everything.
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Post by grate on Jan 19, 2015 8:46:39 GMT
Your daughter is an idiot. She goes to a pet friendly college that works with fostering animals and she was too stupid to realize she would get caught having a puppy that violates the rules? She is clearly not mature enough for pet ownership. You are a much better person than I am because as much as I love animals that dog would be on Craigslist and all local Facebook animal groups the next day to find a new home. A bit harsh!?! She is a kid for goodness sake and they make what seems unbelievable choices to us sometimes but that is part of growing up. Sucks that mom is brought into it but the she is not an idiot or "too stupid". Totally unnecessary to call names. |
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