Would you hold back a 1st grader?

My cousin kept her dd back either at 1st or 2nd grade. It was the beat thing for her dd. She was no longer struggling in school and was much better adapted socially.

I have b/g twins going into first grade. They are one of the youngest in the class. My son seems to lack the social aspect, but is tops academically. Daughter is middle of the road. They both love school. Holding the young ones back is definitely an option and I think easier at a younger age. I believe that my twins will be ok going forward. I volunteered every week during Kindergarten and witnessed a girl who started in first grade, but after a few weeks went back to K, and she thrived and had many friends. It may be good thing for her to gain confidence.

I worked in an elementary school for 14 years and helped to make the decisions to hold kids back. I have never seen a child hurt by it in first grade.  In first grade they adapt easily and the other kids have always treated them well. If she is right at cut off she isn't going to be too old. My daughter was right at cut off and we actually started her the later year. Extra maturity never hurts, especially as they become teens. I always look at it as you don't regret giving them that extra year but you could regret it if you don't retain and they don't do well. After first grade there are a lot more negatives to holding kids back.

I couldn't agree more. Your know your child better than anyone.

Is it possible to get her a psycho-educational evaluation over the summer? If all she needs is a bit of a boost from tutoring and normal maturing, then repeating first grade is probably a good option. If it's a learning difference, then holding her back won't suffice.

How flexible is your school? Our school had a child who was held back in Kindergarten for maturation reasons (he's a smart kid - nobody argued about that!) - he grew in his own time, thrived, and was put back with his original class for 3rd grade. That was a few years ago, and he's doing great. If your school is willing to work with your DD to make sure she's in the place for her optimum growth, then there's no reason not to try her in 1st grade again - especially if she's amenable.

My brother was held back in 1st grade. It was definitely the best thing for him and even though he was involved with sports the social aspect wasn't an issue at all. For him it was dyslexia along with immaturity and ADHD. He ended up with a tutor until he graduated high school, taking main stream classes and then immediately went on to college and earned a bachelors in history. He is currently 33 years old and working in Special Ed and working towards his masters... All without medication. Overall, I know he would agree it was the best thing, and mothers (and fathers) intuition was right on.

{{{hugs}}}

We seriously talked about holding DD back in first grade and were discouraged by the principal & school psych. It took us until third grade to get her fully diagnosed with an Auditory Processing Disorder even with her K teacher pointing us clearly in that direction. DD ended up with her K teacher again in 2nd grade which was the biggest reason we did not hold her back. DD was so relieved to be going to a teacher that already knew her. 

I think you need to trust your gut especially if your DD is not socially connected to the class, but you also need to push for a reason why she is struggling. The best thing we did for DD was outside testing through a Behavioral Psychologist and an Audiologist.

I was talked out of holding DS back in first grade. We were moving and it would have been seamless. So he struggled through school. I broached the subject with his new school after third grade and again was told it wasn't the correct thing to do. So DS kept struggling and the school tested for everything up to dyslexia but wouldn't test for that. Finally after 6th grade in middle school where he was failing every subject and was getting physically I'll at school over the stress I put my foot down and did what I knew was right. Outside testing finally gave us a difinitve dx of dyslexia and as we were moving again he redid 6th grade in a new school. He was the youngest in his class so no one notices the age difference and the extra year gave him some of the maturity he was lacking. He still struggles but is doing much better. But I will always regret not following my gut after 1st grade. It could have possibly saved us so much grief.

Do what you feel is best.

My sweet little baby graduated from HS two weeks ago . Her story did get a little worse before getting tons better.

It really was her K teacher that told me within 6 weeks that she thought there was a processing issue. DD couldn't "hear" rhyming words. If you asked her to give you a word that rhymed with dog she would say cat. She quickly memorized rhyming pairs and learned the right answer for a word that rhymed with dog was frog, which complicated things a bit. It hid the problem but did nothing for ability to translate letters to sounds and learn to read. She was diagnosed with a nonspecific communication disorder before the APD diagnosis, so started working with a Speech Therapist in 2nd grade. We had to go outside the school district to an Audiologist to get the full diagnosis. DD has both input and output deficits and it did take her longer than other kids to process and answer a question and sometimes she would say the exact opposite of what she meant. In addition to the APD that we expected to hear, she was also diagnosed with ADHD Inattentive Type which we did not expect. The two often go together and there is definite overlap, so more often the ADHD is diagnosed and they stop looking for something else.

Our first SLP in WA was fabulous. We moved to CA in 4th grade and the services were provided by a parapro and consisted of worksheets. She was sooo unhappy, had no confidence and we decided to pull her out and homeschool through a charter school for a couple of years. This was absolutely the best decision ever. We had speech therapy through the school district with a fabulous SLP and I cried when she exited out in 7th grade. Night and day difference in services and this SLP was always giving me tips and things to work on with DD at home.

DD transitioned back into school in 7th grade. She is confident, has a great set of friends and graduated with a 3.65 GPA.

Trust your instincts. A new friendship group might be what she needs too.

My dd started first grade but was struggling with reading. She didn't understand the sounds letters made and how they fit together. The school suggested I put her back in kindergarten. Dd visited the class one day and loved it. She's 11 now and thanks me for putting her back. She is going into 5th and reads on a 7th grade level.

For the sake of fourteen days she would have been in a different year group. Listen to you gut, I think she will benefit from being the oldest in the next group, she will have the advantage of knowing the lie of the land and can become a little helper to the younger ones in the new group, that has to help her self esteem. Good luck