suzette
Junior Member
Posts: 59
Jun 26, 2014 23:35:03 GMT
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Post by suzette on Jul 15, 2014 22:30:20 GMT
That sucks that you can't have fun with your friend because her husband is a Jackhole! Maybe you can spend just some girlfriend time together.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 2, 2024 0:17:45 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 15, 2014 22:32:34 GMT
I know so many nice, sweet women that have total assholes for husbands/BF'a and are either oblivious, make excuses for or are terrified of the unknown to do anything about it. Including my BFF and my sister. I am a very blunt person and simply say that I can't handle being around "xxx" because he's an asshole, and just do my best to make plans without him. Some times it works and sometimes I have to bite my tongue f he's there, for the sake of my friend or sister. So while I may be playing nice on the outside, inside I'm planning on where to hide the body parts.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 2, 2024 0:17:45 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 15, 2014 22:33:38 GMT
Please be careful about messing with him about it. Guys like that "take it out" on the people they deem weaker around them...ie: the wife and daughter. You are in a difficult situation. Hang in there!
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rodeomom
Pearl Clutcher
Refupee # 380 "I don't have to run fast, I just have to run faster than you."
Posts: 3,658
Location: Chickasaw Nation, Oklahoma
Jun 25, 2014 23:34:38 GMT
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Post by rodeomom on Jul 15, 2014 22:34:10 GMT
I can't get past the child/cheesecake incident. What a twat. Why does your friend stay with him? That's the question of the century. She's such a sweetheart. I don't know. Maybe low self-esteem? He really has no redeeming qualities. He's not nice, he's not attractive, he's not charming, he's not any of those things. He's an Engineer, but that alone could never be enough for me to justify marrying such a terrible person. I don't think she is such a sweetheart if she lets her child be treated like that.
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grammanisi
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,740
Jun 26, 2014 1:37:37 GMT
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Post by grammanisi on Jul 15, 2014 22:38:09 GMT
I had a great friend whose husband was terrible. He finally got his way and came between our friendship. It is sad and I really miss her, but she wouldn't stick up for herself or me.
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Post by 3dcrafter on Jul 15, 2014 22:41:30 GMT
Time to make plans excluding the husband.
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Post by theboydbunch on Jul 15, 2014 22:52:40 GMT
Eeeeewwwwww! My sister's (soon to be ex) husband is like this...I feel your pain and agree it ruins things for everyone!
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Rhondito
Pearl Clutcher
MississipPea
Posts: 4,661
Jun 25, 2014 19:33:19 GMT
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Post by Rhondito on Jul 15, 2014 22:54:57 GMT
What an utter waste of space. I cannot imagine leaving a young child to watch everyone else get a treat and saying it's too expensive for her (but not for himself,huh?) Disgusting creep. Exactly. Shitty is what it is and I have less than zero respect for a parent who will do that. That includes the OP's friend too - she should have at least given some to her daughter!
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Post by Erica on Jul 15, 2014 23:01:29 GMT
Please be careful about messing with him about it. Guys like that "take it out" on the people they deem weaker around them...ie: the wife and daughter. You are in a difficult situation. Hang in there! I agree with this
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Post by giatocj on Jul 15, 2014 23:06:19 GMT
OMG, who does that to their own kid??? That is terrible...poor little girl.
As for the rest, the guy sounds like a complete idiot and I'd spend as little time around him as humanly possibly!
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Post by turangaleela on Jul 15, 2014 23:09:02 GMT
Yeah, I'd definitely do things with the friend but WITHOUT that buttcheek of a husband (no offense to buttcheeks). She's probably thrilled at any opportunity to be away from him.
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Post by polz on Jul 15, 2014 23:12:05 GMT
What a horrid person. Can you hang out with this friend without the husband?
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Post by stampnscrap1128 on Jul 15, 2014 23:16:02 GMT
That's the question of the century. She's such a sweetheart. I don't know. Maybe low self-esteem? He really has no redeeming qualities. He's not nice, he's not attractive, he's not charming, he's not any of those things. He's an Engineer, but that alone could never be enough for me to justify marrying such a terrible person. I don't think she is such a sweetheart if she lets her child be treated like that. Exactly. BOTH of them are abusing that child - verbal abuse by him and her by passively allowing him to do that. Time to call both of them on it and then cut the friendship cords. Who needs that toxic crap in their lives? I sure feel sorry for their kid though.
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PaperAngel
Drama Llama
Posts: 7,310
Jun 27, 2014 23:04:06 GMT
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Post by PaperAngel on Jul 15, 2014 23:23:46 GMT
...We all proceed to get out the cheesecake and eat it and I realize that their little girl doesn't have any, and the parents are stuffing their faces with cheesecake! I'm serving my 2 kids theirs and say, "Allison doesn't have cheesecake?" and the husband just says, "No. It's expensive." Poor thing starts getting really upset and saying, "But where's mine??" Since the parents are making no effort to share, I cut some off of my kid's pieces and give to Allison... I love my friend, but I'm almost at the point where this dude isn't worth it... ...They follow Dave Ramsey and he's not only a stickler for the rules, he's just really MEAN. This is the guy who we invited over for breakfast, the wife said they'd pick up Chick-Fil-A for everyone in addition to what we had (donuts), and then they call to say they don't have time, that they'll just eat our donuts, then the husband shows up with a bag of Chick-Fil-A only for him... Based on your OP, it appears both your friend & her husband are rude, inconsiderate, & cheap. Most recently, they excluded their own daughter knowing everyone would be enjoying cheesecake (since they're the ones who ordered/picked up dessert for everyone), except her! Earlier the wife committed to bringing CFA, lied to you about stopping at the restaurant, & waltzed in with her husband's breakfast in hand. Is it possible you're giving your friend the benefit of the doubt while crediting her husband with all their negative traits? She certainly doesn't seem worthy of being described as a "sweetheart." Regardless, neither of the adults are people I would choose to spend time with; I would not make future plans with this family!
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Post by molove on Jul 15, 2014 23:33:02 GMT
Well I doubt you make that same mistake twice---vacationing with them as a family. Never again! Looks like it's time for nice girlfriend lunches and coffee dates. Just the two of you.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
May 2, 2024 0:17:45 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Jul 15, 2014 23:41:58 GMT
I know you say he's the asshole, but she doesn't come off looking any better in this situation.
And honestly, you know what he's like. Quit putting yourself in situations that involve him. You can still do things with her and the kids.
And, is he abusive? If so, I can understand her hesitance to speak up. Does she want to leave him? Does she need support and/or guidance with this?
If he's not abusive, then she needs to woman up and insist that he treat the kids better. And that goes for her, too (treating the kids better)
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Post by AN on Jul 15, 2014 23:48:17 GMT
They did post on Facebook, "We officially HATE Houston," meanwhile my kids, my DH and I are having a blast. They were miserable butts the whole time -- mostly because the husband was being a jerk and ruining everyone's fun because he had to spend money. They follow Dave Ramsey and he's not only a stickler for the rules, he's just really MEAN. This is the guy who we invited over for breakfast, the wife said they'd pick up Chick-Fil-A for everyone in addition to what we had (donuts), and then they call to say they don't have time, that they'll just eat our donuts, then the husband shows up with a bag of Chick-Fil-A only for him. Same dude, different day. I remember this story. I can't remember if I said it or someone else said it on that thread, but THIS IS NOT A DAVE RAMSEY THING. This is a he's a jerk thing. Dave Ramsey is actually all about generosity. He encourages people to continue tithing 10% throughout. He says giving is the most fun you'll ever have with money. Baby Step 7 is to Build Wealth and Give a Bunch of it Away!
I just point this out because you've brought up the Dave Ramsey things both times you've talked about this guy, and while I'm sure it's that he has bastardized it and beat you up with the "Dave Ramsey" excuse (or his wife is using it as an excuse for his asshole behavior), they are totally misrepresenting it. And now you posting it here to explain his behavior is misrepresenting it to an even larger audience. And as someone who has followed Dave Ramsey principles for over 10 years, I just can't let that slide by for everyone reading. This is totally the anti-thesis of what Dave Ramsey teaches. He'd say if you can't afford to tip well or if you are in an earlier baby step, then you shouldn't go out or on vacation at all.
I'd recommend you just stop socializing with this guy, but if you're going to continue to hang out with him against your better judgment, I'd be happy to provide you with Dave Ramsey quotes that would totally refute his jerk behavior.
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Post by ihaveonly1l on Jul 15, 2014 23:48:33 GMT
I always wonder how mean people are in private if they are that mean in front of others.
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Post by finally~a~mama on Jul 16, 2014 0:11:55 GMT
He's an ass. I would guess he is abusive because why else would a MOTHER allow her child to go without when everyone else INCLUDING herself was enjoying dessert. Sorry, but your friend would be upsetting me a great deal in these situations. Mothers are supposed to stand up for their children.
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Post by Spongemom Scrappants on Jul 16, 2014 0:13:22 GMT
What a horrid person. Can you hang out with this friend without the husband? I think I might look to spend time just with her and not the husband. Although I do think some of the people posting have made valid points about the fact that she allows her husband to treat not only her poorly, but their child, too. You might be giving her too much the benefit of the doubt. Why didn't she share her portion of the cheesecake with her child?
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Post by gonewalkabout on Jul 16, 2014 0:15:08 GMT
Oh what an ass! I feel for her and their little girl!! I feel for you having to put up with it!! Have a girls night with her. It may mean the world to her.
As much as I hate to say it, sounds like my dh. He's also an engineer. I personally know 6 people who have been married to engineers who were like that. They all ended up getting divorced.
And yeah, she probably ate the cheesecake in front of her child because she would be put down and questioned about it 'not being good enough for her' or 'I spent good money on you and you waste it' or something stupid like that, if she didn't. Like I said it's a deep issue, not surface.
Does she know there are free abuse counselling places? It makes me so angry to hear about people in these situations.
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Post by originalvanillabean on Jul 16, 2014 0:16:38 GMT
Wow! I would be embarrassed to be with him. What a jerk!
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Post by epeanymous on Jul 16, 2014 0:17:59 GMT
You should tell him that Dave Ramsey doesn't approve of getting fired from your job for cause.
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Post by AussieMeg on Jul 16, 2014 0:23:04 GMT
Oh yes, I remember your Chick-Fil-A story! What a complete jerk. I bet you don't go away with them ever again. I feel sorry for your friend, and even more sorry for their poor daughter.
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Lesia
Shy Member
Posts: 25
Jul 1, 2014 1:47:40 GMT
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Post by Lesia on Jul 16, 2014 0:27:18 GMT
what a jerk, but let me say that "engineers" aren't typically like this. anybody can be an asshole. I'm an engineer, and I'm generous to the bone, and so is my husband who is an engineer also, as is my brother and my BIL. so please don't stereotype us a tightwad assholes.
Thanks.
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Post by chaosisapony on Jul 16, 2014 0:27:28 GMT
Oh my god it's the Chick Fil A guy?! That's all I need to know right there.
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Post by drawkcab on Jul 16, 2014 0:28:54 GMT
my x was a lot like the a$$ the op has described. i lost friends over it too. i can say the reason i stayed was i thought i was better able to help my kids by being able to see what was happening and any chance of him having custody meant i wouldn't. leaving was the best thing i did. if you have friends like her please support her even if it means only seeing her, without him. she will pick up on signals that you don't want him around and it will help her to learn she is worth more than his crap and when she does she will be grateful you were there and not missing you or hearing "i told you so".
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Post by turangaleela on Jul 16, 2014 0:33:30 GMT
I remember that Chik-Fil-A story, too. That guy is a pile of crap, and the wife is spineless. If she'll allow him to treat her terribly, that's her business, but their kid? NOPE.
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eastcoastpea
Prolific Pea
Posts: 9,252
Jun 27, 2014 13:05:28 GMT
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Post by eastcoastpea on Jul 16, 2014 0:35:57 GMT
Oh yes, I remember your Chick-Fil-A story! What a complete jerk. I bet you don't go away with them ever again. I feel sorry for your friend, and even more sorry for their poor daughter. AussieMeg beat me to it. I agree with her comments.
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Post by gonewalkabout on Jul 16, 2014 0:43:33 GMT
what a jerk, but let me say that "engineers" aren't typically like this. anybody can be an asshole. I'm an engineer, and I'm generous to the bone, and so is my husband who is an engineer also, as is my brother and my BIL. so please don't stereotype us a tightwad assholes. Thanks. Oh I'm sure many Engineers are fantastic people. Just my experience, thats all. Believe me, I know anyone can be an ass, I've met them, men and women. Unfortunately in my industry, I get to meet them more often than most.
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