tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
Jun 27, 2014 18:32:45 GMT
|
Post by tduby1 on Aug 1, 2015 14:36:09 GMT
I know someone like you in real life. It started years ago (27) with her ping ponging between her two oldest kid's dads. Back and forth, back and forth for several years, till one dropped out and she added another, who would be her third kids father, then back and foth for a few years between those two... And so on and so on until she had 5 kids by 5 men and one she has never been able to determine the father of, despite multiple DNA tests. She has never NOT been ping ponging between at least two men and she has never been happy, never found what she is looking for. Several years ago she was confronted on what it was doing to her minor kids and her response was, "I deserve to be happy too!" And not one person could get her to see that it was perhaps her own actions that kept her from happiness.
Every time she cheated it was not her fault. The cheated on partner was mean, didn't pay attention to her, etc. the new partner was her "soul mate". She got "butterfly's" when she was with him.... Until he was the cheated upon partner and she was back with the one who didn't make her happy merely 6 mos prior. The amount of times these dozen or so men took/take her back over and over and over again was/is amazing. It took one man 15 years to finally extract himself from the mess. I think she was truly shocked when he didn't take her back the final time. To this day she has no shortage of men waiting to fill the spot of a man who checks out. She has even ping ponged between brothers!
Now, this is the important part of the story. The part where OP needs to sit up and take notice. She doesn't have a decent relationship with any of her adult sons. Her adult daughter is a hot mess who has been engaged to three different men in two years! I could care less what you are doing to these men, neither of which seem to have any more moral character than you. The three of you deserve the mess you have created but your children do not. Quit being selfish.
|
|
tduby1
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,979
Jun 27, 2014 18:32:45 GMT
|
Post by tduby1 on Aug 1, 2015 14:38:19 GMT
nope, don't get back together with him. You've already cheated on him once and you obviously haven't learned your lesson. Let him be to find someone who is faithful Exactly. it's your ex husband that should be considering whether or not you are worthy to take back, not the other way around. Poor guy. Actually, I have no sympathy for any of the adults. She is with the paramedic and the ex is willing to be the "other man" now, at the expense of 4 of his kids and one other child. Selfish people.
|
|
|
Post by femalebusiness on Aug 1, 2015 14:38:53 GMT
The saddest part of the OP is that she is a breeder. Ever heard of birth control? Your poor children.
|
|
|
Post by freecharlie on Aug 1, 2015 14:44:43 GMT
Exactly. it's your ex husband that should be considering whether or not you are worthy to take back, not the other way around. Poor guy. Actually, I have no sympathy for any of the adults. She is with the paramedic and the ex is willing to be the "other man" now, at the expense of 4 of his kids and one other child. Selfish people. I assumed the ex didn't know she was still with the paramedic.
|
|
freebird
Drama Llama
'cause I'm free as a bird now
Posts: 6,927
Jun 25, 2014 20:06:48 GMT
|
Post by freebird on Aug 1, 2015 14:50:49 GMT
Wait, hold on. You cheated on your now ex husband with the paramedic and now you are cheating on the paramedic with the ex husband, and now you are asking advice on what to do?
My answer is no, OP. Your ex shouldn't take you back.
|
|
GiantsFan
Prolific Pea
Posts: 8,298
Site Supporter
Jun 27, 2014 14:44:56 GMT
|
Post by GiantsFan on Aug 1, 2015 14:52:45 GMT
How can people from an anonymous message board even answer that question? {shaking my head}
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 3:21:26 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2015 14:54:05 GMT
Actually, I have no sympathy for any of the adults. She is with the paramedic and the ex is willing to be the "other man" now, at the expense of 4 of his kids and one other child. Selfish people. I assumed the ex didn't know she was still with the paramedic. I assumed this as well. I also can't fault a man for wanting to reunite his family..who knows what the OP has told him or led him to believe.
|
|
Nanner
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,976
Jun 25, 2014 23:13:23 GMT
|
Post by Nanner on Aug 1, 2015 15:05:21 GMT
I remember you from the old board as well, and also the pictures of your beautiful daughters.
I'm not going to rip you apart, but seriously, jumping around can do nothing good for your kids.
|
|
jenkate77
Full Member
Posts: 427
Jun 26, 2014 1:33:16 GMT
|
Post by jenkate77 on Aug 1, 2015 15:06:43 GMT
I'm sorry but I have to mention something else that you said. You mentioned the paramedic caused you to stray? Are you kidding? Did you accidentally fall into his bed? I hate when that happens. You're just minding your own business and then BOOM you're in some guy's bed. Unless I accidentally fell into Adam Levine's bed. I would be all right with that.
|
|
|
Post by peasapie on Aug 1, 2015 15:13:59 GMT
I have a feeling this must be some sort of joke. I certainly can't take any part of it seriously.
|
|
SabrinaP
Pearl Clutcher
Busy Teacher Pea
Posts: 4,355
Location: Dallas Texas
Jun 26, 2014 12:16:22 GMT
|
Post by SabrinaP on Aug 1, 2015 15:16:36 GMT
I think you really need to examine your life and your relationships. If I were you, I would break off both relationships, get into some counseling and go from there. I'm a big advocate of living the single life to figure things out. If a relationship is meant to be, it will still happen. Good luck.
|
|
|
Post by christine58 on Aug 1, 2015 15:36:45 GMT
ED nurse= Emergency Department...
|
|
|
Post by Zee on Aug 1, 2015 15:41:47 GMT
I think we need more info. Why were you divorced? Do you have kids? What has happened in intervening years since you divorced? Multiple marriages, etc. Spill it sister! Well. My ex and I divorced because I strayed. I was an ED nurse at the time and one of the paramedics there lead me astray. My ex and I have 4 wonderful girls. The paramedic and I have a boy. He and I are somewhat together so I strayed back to date my ex. The paramedic had no clue. He knows now and mightily upset. I'm torn. You're just fucking with us, aren't you?
|
|
|
Post by Lindarina on Aug 1, 2015 15:56:17 GMT
I think we need more info. Why were you divorced? Do you have kids? What has happened in intervening years since you divorced? Multiple marriages, etc. Spill it sister! Well. My ex and I divorced because I strayed. I was an ED nurse at the time and one of the paramedics there lead me astray. My ex and I have 4 wonderful girls. The paramedic and I have a boy. He and I are somewhat together so I strayed back to date my ex. The paramedic had no clue. He knows now and mightily upset. I'm torn.
|
|
caro
Drama Llama
Refupea 1130
Posts: 5,222
Jun 26, 2014 14:10:36 GMT
|
Post by caro on Aug 1, 2015 16:01:31 GMT
ED nurse= Emergency Department... I like the "other" ED better.
|
|
scorpeao
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,521
Location: NorCal USA
Jun 25, 2014 21:04:54 GMT
|
Post by scorpeao on Aug 1, 2015 16:59:59 GMT
oooh, I gotta go make some popcorn.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 3:21:26 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2015 17:11:31 GMT
Do yourself, the two men, AND your kids a favor and stop fucking with them all. You're fucking with the men's hearts and you're fucking with your kids' future. They see what you're doing. They see what the Dads are doing and will think this is normal and will go on to have similar relationships. Is that something you want for your own daughters? Do you want your own daughters to think it's ok to cheat? Or how about this? Do you want your daughters to end up in a situation where they get hurt or even killed because they cheated on or with the wrong person and he snapped?
Seriously, until you figure out why you strayed and I mean truly understand why you strayed, you will always do the back and forth thing. It is NOT worth it. Trust me. I know this.
|
|
|
Post by mzza111 on Aug 1, 2015 17:25:12 GMT
Ok, what do the masses think? Should I consider returning to my ex? Wednesday he picked me up and drove me to a romantic lunch then to drove me to downtown in a major city. My body was tingling with excitement at renewing the old flame? Should I even consider this after all we divorced years ago. He was my knight in shining armor because I despise driving in major city traffic. I think we need more info. Why were you divorced? Do you have kids? What has happened in intervening years since you divorced? Multiple marriages, etc. Spill it sister! Well. My ex and I divorced because I strayed. I was an ED nurse at the time and one of the paramedics there lead me astray. My ex and I have 4 wonderful girls. The paramedic and I have a boy. He and I are somewhat together so I strayed back to date my ex. The paramedic had no clue. He knows now and mightily upset. I'm torn. What the ever loving fuck! Pea rules state these posts must be preserved. The fact that you actually wrote that you have four "wonderful" girls and just "a boy" tell me all I need to know about you. And to boot, someone gave you a ride and now you're in love? For the sake of your kids, get some help...and birth control.
|
|
georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846
Jun 27, 2014 18:02:10 GMT
|
Post by georgiapea on Aug 1, 2015 17:25:23 GMT
I think you just wanted a little boinkie. Or maybe your jeans were too tight and jolting your hoo-ha parts. But whatever caused you to bring the paramedic up to speed?
ETA: All your posts that I read seem so, well, normal, that I feel badly for dissing you. But really, taking up with your ex when you are living with someone else is not right. Did you ex indicate he wants you back? Or maybe he's the one wanting "a little boinkie", which I fear he got. If not what DID you go downtown for? ETA PS: I did not mean to like my own post. I hit the wrong button.
|
|
luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
|
Post by luvnlifelady on Aug 1, 2015 17:33:38 GMT
I haven't read all the replies yet. One thing sticks out to me though...you blame the Paramedic for leading you astray...I don't share that same line of thinking. You were married and had kids with someone and you went willingly.
DH went astray too so maybe I'm biased about things like this but I think it's total crap to blame someone else for your wrongdoing.
As for what to do now, I think you like the excitement of someone romancing you (and anyone would). If you went back with your ex, that would quickly turn into the daily drudgery of the routine you now probably have with Mr. Paramedic. Just my two cents going on what little I know of your story.
|
|
julieb
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 2,845
Jul 3, 2014 16:02:54 GMT
|
Post by julieb on Aug 1, 2015 17:41:39 GMT
Well that's my first question - are you trolling us? And if you're not, it sounds to me like you need to take some time off from men altogether and get yourself figured out. You're an adult woman with responsibilities not a teenager. You should also think about what exactly you are modeling for your children.
Why do women feel like they HAVE to have a man in their lives? OP you sound very selfish and I feel sorry for the children you are dragging into your mess.
|
|
Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 2, 2024 3:21:26 GMT
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2015 17:48:05 GMT
I think you just wanted a little boinkie. Or maybe your jeans were too tight and jolting your hoo-ha parts. But whatever caused you to bring the paramedic up to speed? I doubt we will get answers, but I too want to know how the paramedic found out? Did you tell him? If so, why? Guilt?
|
|
luvnlifelady
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,428
Jun 26, 2014 2:34:35 GMT
|
Post by luvnlifelady on Aug 1, 2015 18:12:10 GMT
I'm sorry but I have to mention something else that you said. You mentioned the paramedic caused you to stray? Are you kidding? Did you accidentally fall into his bed? I hadn't read all the replies when I posted basically the same thing...nothing like blaming the guy. Ugh.
|
|
michellegb
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,915
Location: New England and loving it!
Jun 26, 2014 0:04:59 GMT
|
Post by michellegb on Aug 1, 2015 18:18:10 GMT
You need to just stop. Stop. Are you kidding me? You are a parent of 5 children, how the hell can you be this immature? What are you teaching your 4 girls about loving and committed relationships? STOP. Walk away from both men and learn who you are on your own and what you want out of a relationship before you are left truly alone. Your children deserve better, be better for them. x1000 Grow up, take responsibility for your actions and learn why you have to chase the excitement of cheating before you mess up someone else's life...again. Be a GOOD example for your kids, not the BAD one you have been. Sorry it's harsh but you need a reality check about what a mess you've made and continue to make.
|
|
|
Post by Sam on Aug 1, 2015 18:46:41 GMT
Wait, hold on. You cheated on your now ex husband with the paramedic and now you are cheating on the paramedic with the ex husband, and now you are asking advice on what to do?
My answer is no, OP. Your ex shouldn't take you back.
Just because the EX was kind enough to be well mannered and take you to McDonalds for a burger or whatever you consider a romantic meal to be, it does fall not on YOU to decide whether or not YOU want to take him back, that's kind of a decision he should be pretty bloody careful about (RUN, EX!!) - however, I am having some fun with this but kind of hoping we can skip to the next chapter of this sordid little tale as it has real potential...
|
|
smginaz Suzy
Pearl Clutcher
Je suis desole.
Posts: 2,606
Jun 26, 2014 17:27:30 GMT
|
Post by smginaz Suzy on Aug 1, 2015 18:59:29 GMT
Literally and figuratively, stop the fucking. Get some rest. Alone.
|
|
|
Post by Yubon Peatlejuice on Aug 1, 2015 19:01:04 GMT
Go back to your ex? I have no idea.
Stay out of the city because you sound too fragile? yes.
|
|
|
Post by SabrinaM on Aug 1, 2015 19:47:48 GMT
Your ex-husband/boyfriend would be a moron to take you back.
|
|
|
Post by *leslie* on Aug 1, 2015 19:58:26 GMT
You need to drop both men and go to therapy. You need to figure why you do the destructive things you do. After you finish therapy then maybe you can try and find a healthy relationship.
|
|
|
Post by *leslie* on Aug 1, 2015 20:02:16 GMT
Is this a thing with ER nurses? My SIL is an ER nurse and had/is having an affair with another married ER nurse. Her other co-workers have also had affairs.
|
|