Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 18, 2024 0:25:50 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 1, 2015 20:26:57 GMT
Is this a thing with ER nurses? My SIL is an ER nurse and had/is having an affair with another married ER nurse. Her other co-workers have also had affairs. My guess is they are people who crave adrenaline rushes. They pick a field of work that promises and affords some level of excitement but all excitement over time becomes routine. So they start looking for excitement in illicit relationships. A new romance, even with a former partner, that has the element of needing to keep it secret or the anticipation of the drama when discovered is going to be way more thrilling than the drudgery of a day to day relationship that is long standing. The op mentions her ex being "a knight in shining armor" From her words it sounds like she is looking for a perfect human who will never let her down, never display any imperfect behavior, not have emotional or physical needs of his own, will let her get into exhilaratingly dangerous situations then make sure nothing bad happens to her no matter what the cost is to himself. She is looking for unconditional love (many women feel that get that from their baby until the child is older and starts to pull away to develop as an individual)
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Post by gramasue on Aug 1, 2015 20:58:10 GMT
Is this a thing with ER nurses? My SIL is an ER nurse and had/is having an affair with another married ER nurse. Her other co-workers have also had affairs. My guess is they are people who crave adrenaline rushes. They pick a field of work that promises and affords some level of excitement but all excitement over time becomes routine. So they start looking for excitement in illicit relationships. A new romance, even with a former partner, that has the element of needing to keep it secret or the anticipation of the drama when discovered is going to be way more thrilling than the drudgery of a day to day relationship that is long standing. The op mentions her ex being "a knight in shining armor" From her words it sounds like she is looking for a perfect human who will never let her down, never display any imperfect behavior, not have emotional or physical needs of his own, will let her get into exhilaratingly dangerous situations then make sure nothing bad happens to her no matter what the cost is to himself. She is looking for unconditional love (many women feel that get that from their baby until the child is older and starts to pull away to develop as an individual) Must be "Nurse Jackie Syndrome". I just started watching this show on Crave TV and she's got the hunkiest, sweetest husband and she's boinking a doctor in the hospital where she works. I just don't understand women like this.
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theshyone
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 3,411
Jun 26, 2014 12:50:12 GMT
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Post by theshyone on Aug 1, 2015 21:06:06 GMT
I'd take a guess that the ex is screwing you to screw the guy that screwed him. You really don't deserve either.
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Post by Zee on Aug 1, 2015 22:03:07 GMT
Is this a thing with ER nurses? My SIL is an ER nurse and had/is having an affair with another married ER nurse. Her other co-workers have also had affairs. My guess is they are people who crave adrenaline rushes. They pick a field of work that promises and affords some level of excitement but all excitement over time becomes routine. So they start looking for excitement in illicit relationships. A new romance, even with a former partner, that has the element of needing to keep it secret or the anticipation of the drama when discovered is going to be way more thrilling than the drudgery of a day to day relationship that is long standing. The op mentions her ex being "a knight in shining armor" From her words it sounds like she is looking for a perfect human who will never let her down, never display any imperfect behavior, not have emotional or physical needs of his own, will let her get into exhilaratingly dangerous situations then make sure nothing bad happens to her no matter what the cost is to himself. She is looking for unconditional love (many women feel that get that from their baby until the child is older and starts to pull away to develop as an individual) Mighty broad brush ya got there, Michelangelo. I think it's more like nurses are usually pretty comfortable talking about sex and various other body functions and that's why SIL knows about the affairs. I'd be willing to bet that the incidence of infidelity among nurses is no higher than any other profession. Lawyers and secretaries, doctors and nurses, bankers and tellers, preachers and church secretaries, on and on and on and none of that is new. I think proximity is more the issue than what profession one is in.
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scrapaddie
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,090
Jul 8, 2014 20:17:31 GMT
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Post by scrapaddie on Aug 1, 2015 22:05:32 GMT
I think we need more info. Why were you divorced? Do you have kids? What has happened in intervening years since you divorced? Multiple marriages, etc. Spill it sister! Well. My ex and I divorced because I strayed. I was an ED nurse at the time and one of the paramedics there lead me astray. My ex and I have 4 wonderful girls. The paramedic and I have a boy. He and I are somewhat together so I strayed back to date my ex. The paramedic had no clue. He knows now and mightily upset. I'm torn. are you capable of a monogamous relationship?? One of the paramedics led you astray... that is certainly passing the blame... I think you need to think long and hard because there is a world of difference between the tingles of excitement and a relationship!
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,368
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Aug 1, 2015 22:07:33 GMT
I am surprised your current "love" is upset you lied to him. He knew you were a liar when he cheated with you on your then-husband. What a joke.
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Post by christine58 on Aug 1, 2015 22:24:19 GMT
I smell troll BS....
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Post by monicad on Aug 1, 2015 22:45:22 GMT
I remember her from Two Peas...not saying this story is true, but this username goes back a while. I think she had two (super cute) girls and then a third one later on. OP, I think you need to take a break from all relationships and focus on your kids. I don't know the whole story and am certainly not going to flame you here. If what you're saying is true, you really owe it to both men to be honest and go from there.
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Post by papercrafteradvocate on Aug 1, 2015 22:47:30 GMT
I'm sorry but I have to mention something else that you said. You mentioned the paramedic caused you to stray? Are you kidding? Did you accidentally fall into his bed? I was thinking that she must have slipped and fel onto his banana...
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georgiapea
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,846
Jun 27, 2014 18:02:10 GMT
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Post by georgiapea on Aug 1, 2015 23:13:34 GMT
Looks like she's too afraid of us to come back!
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Mary Kay Lady
Pearl Clutcher
PeaNut 367,913 Refupea number 1,638
Posts: 3,077
Jun 27, 2014 4:11:36 GMT
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Post by Mary Kay Lady on Aug 1, 2015 23:28:23 GMT
I think you should do both of those guys a favor and go into therapy to figure out why you can't take responsibility for your actions. You have five children with two men that you are bouncing back and forth between. It isn't fair to anyone, especially the children involved. Get your act together. ^^^^^^^^^^This!!!
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tiffanytwisted
Pearl Clutcher
you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave
Posts: 4,538
Jun 26, 2014 15:57:39 GMT
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Post by tiffanytwisted on Aug 2, 2015 1:05:29 GMT
Looks like she's too afraid of us to come back! Well, seriously, what was she thinking we'd say? She's been here long enough to know there's no way we'd condone such a thing, at least not the way she's telling the story. If she really wanted everyone to give her the thumbs up, she should have guilded (sp?) the lily just a teensy little bit.
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Post by momof3pits on Aug 2, 2015 1:15:04 GMT
I'm just here waiting for someone to blame Pres. Obama...
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Post by *leslie* on Aug 2, 2015 1:21:47 GMT
Mighty broad brush ya got there, Michelangelo. I think it's more like nurses are usually pretty comfortable talking about sex and various other body functions and that's why SIL knows about the affairs. I'd be willing to bet that the incidence of infidelity among nurses is no higher than any other profession. Lawyers and secretaries, doctors and nurses, bankers and tellers, preachers and church secretaries, on and on and on and none of that is new. I think proximity is more the issue than what profession one is in. Haha, I knew someone would get butt hurt with my post. Peas never disappoint.
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ellen
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,528
Jun 30, 2014 12:52:45 GMT
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Post by ellen on Aug 2, 2015 1:55:53 GMT
You should go back to your ex. If it doesn't work out you can always go back to the paramedic. A man who can drive in heavy traffic is worth his weight in gold. I personally prefer a man who can back up a trailer.
I'm assuming that we're kidding around, right?
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Post by meeko77 on Aug 2, 2015 2:07:06 GMT
Wow. I was just talking the other day about how I notice that everyone I know who has a "hot mess" of a life has one thing in common. KIDS. Usually multiple kids. Seems the more of a hot mess they are, the more fertile they are... UGH...(ETA: in case it wasn't clear, I don't think all people with kids are a hot mess. Far from that. I just notice the people I know personally with the biggest hot mess going on all have kids. Usually more than 2.)
To the OP: Do your kids a favor, take a break from all men for however long it takes to get over yourself and your own selfish wants, get some therapy, and focus on your precious children. They deserve the mom you portrayed yourself to be on the pea boards. (Yes, I remember you and your beautiful girls too). Oh, and learn to take responsibility for your own actions. Nobody led you astray. YOU cheated. YOU broke your vows. YOU broke up your children's family.
Maybe a few years from now you will be able to have a healthy relationship. But you should be in no hurry. As far as the paramedic I feel NO sympathy for him. He knew you were a cheater when you cheated with him. I have very little sympathy for your ex husband, as he by now should have figured out how you are. I do however, agree with another poster. He could be getting sweet revenge on your paramedic man.
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Post by fridaycat on Aug 2, 2015 2:13:10 GMT
Is this a thing with ER nurses? My SIL is an ER nurse and had/is having an affair with another married ER nurse. Her other co-workers have also had affairs. It seems to be a thing among the ERs where I live too.
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Post by Zee on Aug 2, 2015 2:47:49 GMT
Mighty broad brush ya got there, Michelangelo. I think it's more like nurses are usually pretty comfortable talking about sex and various other body functions and that's why SIL knows about the affairs. I'd be willing to bet that the incidence of infidelity among nurses is no higher than any other profession. Lawyers and secretaries, doctors and nurses, bankers and tellers, preachers and church secretaries, on and on and on and none of that is new. I think proximity is more the issue than what profession one is in. Haha, I knew someone would get butt hurt with my post. Peas never disappoint. Butt hurt? Don't flatter yourself, unless pointing out the obvious flaws in volts theory somehow qualifies in your book. Glad you didn't have to be disappointed that your comment perhaps went unnoticed, though. Last time I heard "butt hurt" it was out of the mouth of a carnival worker.
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Deleted
Posts: 0
Jun 18, 2024 0:25:50 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Aug 2, 2015 3:46:35 GMT
This isn't the same person...can't be. The old one from the Green legume board talked about her piercings and she had many. She was also a "fun" kind of pea. She has adorable girls hence the name houseofcurls and I didn't know she had another child.
This person seems like a troll. Maybe one of her friends is over and they had a couple of glasses of wine and wanted to do this for SHOCK value knowing how we will get riled up about it. I think it's a hoax playing on us.
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Post by *leslie* on Aug 2, 2015 5:25:08 GMT
Haha, I knew someone would get butt hurt with my post. Peas never disappoint. Butt hurt? Don't flatter yourself, unless pointing out the obvious flaws in volts theory somehow qualifies in your book. Glad you didn't have to be disappointed that your comment perhaps went unnoticed, though. Last time I heard "butt hurt" it was out of the mouth of a carnival worker. Was my post a little too close to the truth for you. You seem to be upset.
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sandym
Shy Member
Posts: 16
Jan 19, 2015 3:43:18 GMT
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Post by sandym on Aug 2, 2015 12:26:59 GMT
Is it possible that the ex was just being a nice guy OR wants to cause trouble for you and the new guy. Maybe he doesn't want a future with you.
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Post by Zee on Aug 2, 2015 13:27:11 GMT
Butt hurt? Don't flatter yourself, unless pointing out the obvious flaws in volts theory somehow qualifies in your book. Glad you didn't have to be disappointed that your comment perhaps went unnoticed, though. Last time I heard "butt hurt" it was out of the mouth of a carnival worker. Was my post a little too close to the truth for you. You seem to be upset. Ah, the old "you seem to be upset" comment, thrown out to make your opponent seem unstable. Listen, I've been around the internet for a long time and I've seen it all before. Go try your armchair psychology on someone else and quit trying so hard to pick a fight. It makes you look like you're just trying to stir up shit. Unless you want to cop to that...
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Post by sunraynnc on Aug 2, 2015 14:36:00 GMT
You a ho.
Do something permanent for birth control.
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Post by freecharlie on Aug 2, 2015 15:59:57 GMT
Is this a thing with ER nurses? My SIL is an ER nurse and had/is having an affair with another married ER nurse. Her other co-workers have also had affairs. It seems to be a thing among the ERs where I live too. not just EDs, the whole hospital, especially night shifts
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milocat
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,455
Location: 55 degrees north in Alberta, Canada
Mar 18, 2015 4:10:31 GMT
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Post by milocat on Aug 2, 2015 16:35:41 GMT
Is it possible that the ex was just being a nice guy OR wants to cause trouble for you and the new guy. Maybe he doesn't want a future with you. I'd be suspicious of this too. I have no idea what OP should do but I wouldn't leave my current partner to go with someone who was my knight in shining armor for driving me around in downtown traffic. Doesn't really seem like enough to get a tingly excited feeling for.
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cycworker
Pearl Clutcher
Posts: 4,378
Jun 26, 2014 0:42:38 GMT
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Post by cycworker on Aug 2, 2015 16:44:24 GMT
I am going to a point with others.
I don't agree that people can't lead you astray, I know they can as I've seen it happen. There are manipulative jerks in this world who can see when a person is vulnerable and prey on that, so you do something you wouldn't otherwise. The father of one of my best friends for example, never would have strayed, but he suffered a traumatic loss and a woman he worked with wormed her way into getting him to have an affair which eventually resulted in his divorce. By the time he realized how she'd played him it was too late to undo the damage. His ex was committed to someone else.
You need to sort out whether that really is what happened here.
I can't tell you what to do. I'm biased. I don't like divorce, so my instinct is to believe God is putting you on a path to go get back and track, put your family back together and return to the person He chose for you. THAT SAID... You have a responsibility to get it right this time.
There is only one way to sort through all of it... Step away from both men, get counselling and determine once and for all who the Holy Spiriit is calling you to. And once you figure it out you need to work out strategi to ensure you don't put yourself in situations where you can be led astray again.
And if your ex is right for you, putting your family back together means he will have to accep the baby you had with the man who tempted you. That is part of what I mean re not putting yourself at risk again. You can't abandon this child just to avoid being around him and you can't cut him out of the child's life just because you shouldn't be around him - or vice versa if you determine going back to your ex is the wrong choice, I know in the example I gave above my friend's mom only allows herself to be around the dad in situations where they aren't alone.
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Dalai Mama
Drama Llama
La Pea Boheme
Posts: 6,985
Jun 26, 2014 0:31:31 GMT
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Post by Dalai Mama on Aug 2, 2015 16:46:45 GMT
Your ex seems like a bit of a masochist.
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tincin
Drama Llama
Posts: 5,368
Jul 25, 2014 4:55:32 GMT
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Post by tincin on Aug 2, 2015 18:20:13 GMT
It seems to be a thing among the ERs where I live too. not just EDs, the whole hospital, especially night shifts Like I told my girlfriends, who are nurses, I know what goes on in those hospitals, I watch Grey's Anatomy. Seriously people cheat everywhere, it isn't as if medical personnel have the patent on it.
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Post by anniefb on Aug 2, 2015 19:55:06 GMT
He is your ex for a reason. Don't charge into anything blindly. That ^^
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flute4peace
Drama Llama
Posts: 6,757
Jul 3, 2014 14:38:35 GMT
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Post by flute4peace on Aug 3, 2015 1:33:44 GMT
Is this a thing with ER nurses? My SIL is an ER nurse and had/is having an affair with another married ER nurse. Her other co-workers have also had affairs. It seems to be a thing among the ERs where I live too. I would guess it has something to do with the fact that they deal with highly emotional situations on a regular basis, and find solidarity and comfort in each other. I haven't seen specific statistics, but wouldn't be surprised if infidelity rates are higher amongst similar careers - law enforcement, firefighters, ER, EMS, etc.
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